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Viridzen

Is "lithsexual" under the ace umbrellm?

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Viridzen

I've been researching the concept of lithsexuality recently. For those of you who don't know, lithsexuality is where a person does experience sexual attraction, but does not want reciprocation of the attraction. I've found the term very helpful in describing my identity. My question about this term though is, is this even remotely considered asexual?

Asexuality is defined as a lack of sexual attraction; lithsexuality does not meet this criterion. Asexuality also has desire-based definitions, some of which exclude lithsexuality. The term fits so nicely in the greysexual umbrella, but not at all in the asexual umbrella. I'm wondering if we associate greysexuality, especially these forms, with asexuality because of common goals in society for recognition and understanding? There is a model for defining asexuality called the "Collective Identity Model", which basically states that an asexual is someone who identifies as such, and seeks a place in society deflecting sex culture and its assumptions that everyone experiences sexual attraction and the like. This definition actually sounds like it would include all forms of greysexuality (including lith) in the asexual category. No doubt lithsexuals are so close on the spectrum to allosexual that it would be pointless for a lithsexual to deny any proximity of their identity, but could they also be asexuals? Of course, it's in the grey area, but where should we put that?

I sound like I'm forcing things into classifications, but I'm not trying to. If you are lith and identify as asexual/under the ace umbrella, go ahead. If you don't at all, good for you. But I want to know where it is practically.

Now, back to what I said about the Collective Identity Model. The AVENwiki page for it says: "The desire to identify as asexual comes from occupying a particular social position relative to culturally dominant ideas about sexuality. This common social position is the one thing which unifies all asexual people." This definition could include lith people, who don't have any desire or interest in reciprocation of their attraction, and so would be unwilling to have this type of relationship which is so dominant in the side of our culture that alienates asexuals and makes us unify. A lith person would have the same end goals as any other asexual here: to be able to live life and experience love without this ridiculous expectation of engaging in this type of relationship.

So, would it be that lithsexuals are basically allosexuals, but also asexuals as far as this model is concerned? Like the overlap? That is considered "greysexual", but I'm wondering if considering them asexual, and being able to participate in asexual culture (after all, they do fit according to this cultural model), would be wrong/pointless? Almost like a way to try so hard to fit into the label of "asexual" that you'll make any exceptions? I sometimes worry that I'm doing that, so this is also to sate my curiosity about my stance on the spectrum. Anyone else have any input?

Edit: I just realised the typo in the title; how do I fix it?

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MermaidRomani

Lithosexual I think is what you're getting at, with the definition you gave. A lot of people consider it to fall under the graysexual umbrella, which falls under the asexual umbrella.

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kelico

Lithosexual I think is what you're getting at, with the definition you gave. A lot of people consider it to fall under the graysexual umbrella, which falls under the asexual umbrella.

"Lithsexual" is also correct (I actually see this more often than lithosexual, but they are both used). : ) Much like "lithromantic."

@OP: Yes, it is commonly seen as being under the asexuality umbrella. It can be seen closer to gray-asexual, but I think that it is still considered a part of the ace spectrum. (Like lithromantic is considered a part of the aromantic spectrum.) Just remember that it is all about what feels right and comfortable to you! Best wishes!

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Star Bit

If you dont want sex irl then asexual is correct. So despite Lithsexuals having sexual attraction they react badly or indifferently to its reciprocation irl and thus fall more towards asexual than a "sexual maybe" like Gray-A. But it is technically under the gray umbrella.

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Viridzen

@Kumo: I use "lithsexual" since I see it spelled that way more often, but I understand "lithosexual" is better etymologically because of the connector vowel. I usually shorten it to "lith" anyway.

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JohnDoe1995

From what I understand, lithsexuals are usually indifferent toward sex. The main reason liths have sex is to make their partners feel satisfied rather than sexual urges. The fact you don't want reciprocation means you lack the urge for receive sexual pleasure puts you more on the asexual side of the spectrum than the full-fledged sexual.

I'm not that knowledgeable about the subject, but that's what I understood from posts & blogs I read about lithsexuality.

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Viridzen

JohnDoe1995: I don't know any other lithsexuals (or any other aces or that matter), but personally I'm repulsed. I'd love to know where I could read more first-hand accounts of lithsexuality.

The reason I place it closer to allosexuality on the scale is because of the definition on the top of AVEN's website, but I know that definition is neither the only one nor universally accepted.

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Guest

I don't consider lith- to be part of the gray area, let alone part of asexuality. IMO, it's a different "vector" entirely - people can be lith and fully sexual, lith and grayce, or maybe even lith and fully ace (though I find the last one hardest to imagine of these three).

(Mutatis mutandis for lithros - that's not inherently a part of the aro/grayro spectrum, either, IMO.)

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Viridzen

So, you're saying it's kind of like a thing that can apply to any sexual orientation, sort of more like a way of experiencing it rather than a sexual orientation in its own right? I agree, actually, but I assume that some models of defining asexuality would still include lith people in asexuality, sort of like demisexuality, where you can be hetero/homo/bi/pansexual but the way you experience it is demisexuality, is that right or am I way off?

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Guest

So, you're saying it's kind of like a thing that can apply to any sexual orientation, sort of more like a way of experiencing it rather than a sexual orientation in its own right?

Yep.

I agree, actually, but I assume that some models of defining asexuality would still include lith people in asexuality, sort of like demisexuality, where you can be hetero/homo/bi/pansexual but the way you experience it is demisexuality, is that right or am I way off?

Well, I do rate demi as a form of grayce/on the ace spectrum. You can't be demi and fully sexual - that's a contradiction in terms. However, you can be lith and fully sexual - just ask stone butches (after whom the "lith-" prefix was named in the first place).

So, I agree that it's similar to demi/gray in that it's not a "full" orientation, and can - probably should - be attached to hetero/homo/etc. in order to give all the information an orientation provides... but that similarity still does not make it a part of the grayce spectrum.

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Viridzen

That makes sense. Why I said demisexuality is a way to experience sexual attraction in the same way lithsexual is is because, with demisexuality, it's not about who you're attracted to, but rather the... I'm going to say "structure" of it. It's not right away, but it develops with an emotional bond. This term is more based on the scenario than the object of attraction, and so is lithsexual in that it's based on structure rather than object: lithsexuals only experience a part of sexual attraction (based on people's physical characteristics), but not the second part (the urge to act upon it). Both of these components have to be considered when defining "sexual attraction". Also, sexual orientation doesn't/shouldn't take into account only the object of attraction, but the "structure" as well.

That said, I agree there are liths who are fully sexual, and some who are so close to asexual. But it's like greysexual in that it has varying degrees of intensity, and demisexuals' attraction can have more or less intensity.

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