Female bodied people who wears men clothes, share your shopping experiences

[TardisBlue]

Don't know if this has been discussed before but I wanted to rant. Also, sorry if I'm posting this in the wrong section, mods can move it if they want.

I am female, a cis female, but I've always worn boys/men clothes. No offence, but I find women clothes gross and they don't even make sense to me? Anyway, that's not the point. There are a lot of things I hate when I'm shopping:

1. When I'm checking someting out, "but those are for men" (yes I am an idiot who can't even separate clothes' genders, I needed you to tell me, yes thank you, you're a life saver. and what's that even supposed to mean, what's the point of saying those are for men, am I not allowed to buy them???)
2. Women's section is over there (again, I'm such an idiot guys, I haven't actually realised I was looking at men's clothes!!!!)
3. STARING
4. They don't come in your size (bitch I wear 32" trousers, size S/M tops, uk size 6 shoes, all men sizes btw, explain how the fuck they don't come in my size???)

These are the most common ones. There was this one guy who almost yelled at me, saying 'those are NOT for women', I stared at him so angrily and said 'I KNOW, NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS' he nearly peed himself, moron. Besides, who told you I identify as a woman anyway? I mean I do, but like, how do you know? So rude.

And, my favourite(!) thing about all this, ARE THEY BLIND??? COS I WALK IN THE STORE WEARING MEN CLOTHES ALREADY, CAN YOU NOT SEE ME?????? What's wrong with these people... They're draining my self confidence, I used to not care much, but nowadays I shy away from stores and prefer online shopping cos I don't have to take shit like that.

[little fox]

Preach. I am also a hetero cis-gender female. I don't intentionally wear men's clothing but I prefer somewhat gender neutral clothes. And I find it easier to find "men's" clothing that I like the look /style of.

[SithLord]

Lol. I'm also a cisfemale and seriously consider shopping in the boys section, but it's a sad reality that most of the clothes actually don't come in my sizes. I've been measured and am not comfortable with getting baggy pants and too big of shoes. Shirts work since I don't care if those are baggy.

I'm small and thin-ish, so I'm just the right size to be too big for the boys' section and too small for the men's section in most stores. It sucks.

As for comments, I've really only gotten odd looks and sometimes questions about why. The only time I was asked was because it was for a cosplay I was working on so they didn't ask further. But other times I was with guys so they might have not asked even though I was clearly shopping for myself because they couldn't tell.

But I like guys' clothes. Mostly for the pockets and that shirts tend to fit me better. I prefer cargo pants and they have so few of those for women/girls (yep, still at an in-between size there too, but my size is most often in teen sections or petite). Skirts are just awkward and uncomfortable, but dresses I find fun because they feel like playing dress-up, not really me but really pretty!

[little fox]

I have a friend (again, cisgender female) who got a hard time when she wanted to buy men's shoes. SHOES. And they weren't even dress shoes. They were just very basic skate shoes. She bought them. (In my opinion they look pretty gender neutral and suit her like crazy.) People need to chill. Ha ha.

[TooOldForThis]

I'm not in the category specified in the topic title, but my younger sister is.

She never got comments from fellow shoppers, as far as I know, but when we were kids my mother always used to insist that my sister look for clothing in the girls' section first. Only if she failed to locate what she wanted was she allowed to try the boys' section. This was the case with shoes as well. It was completely pointless, since my sister would always end up in the boys' section eventually; it just added unecessary time to every shopping trip. I remember I used to get quite irritated about it.

I'm small and thin-ish, so I'm just the right size to be too big for the boys' section and too small for the men's section in most stores. It sucks.

In response to this, as a small and thin man, I sometimes have the same problem. I'd recommend trying out Express Men, Banana Republic, and other higher-end stores, since they often run smaller than most places. Plus they usually have a variety of different 'fits,' like slim or extra slim, which help. For me at least, their regular prices are prohibitive, but their sales are usually good. I got a sturdy and well-fitting pair of jeans last month for fifteen bucks, and it normally cost 89 dollars :) It's also worth looking at consignment places like Goodwill, since a lot of elderly people leave clothes there and those are often smaller as well. The styles are sometimes out-of-date, but I guess people tended to be thinner in the past so if an older item of clothing isn't hilariously retro, it's much more likely to fit.

[dissolved]

I wear men's shoes, partly because women's shoes are shit both in style and the fact that they often only go up to UK7 which don't have a chance of fitting me. If I get weird looks/comments I don't notice and don't really care all that much either. Buy everything else online, mostly.

[nerdperson777]

I guess I can post and the first non-cis person on the thread. I'm just starting to get more male clothing. I always liked male clothing and wanted my own so I would wear them more than the female clothes mom bought for me. I first got these boys' collared t-shirts from Lands' End and they were great. Then mom bought me some girls' version. :(

I've been dressing gender neutral for the longest time without realizing it since I cared not of fashion or even looking nice (no aesthetic attraction). Basically t-shirt with jeans, shorts, and exercise pants maybe with a hoodie.

I tried buying these men's pants for my cosplay and I totally screwed up my sizing. It was for my cosplay, and I could wear them casually too if I wanted to. First I got these (idk formal?) pants in 30x30 but they were too big for me since I had 28 waist. I actually had to use a belt. I thought it was too small for my legs due to the exercises that make them really big and dense. So I went to get a 32x30 of another size. Yay, it's even bigger! Then I found out they were extra loose work pants so I could almost fit two of my legs in one pant leg! I decided not to go through the trouble of returning for a 30x30 since I would just have to pay shipping again to change the size.

I'm eager to try the dress shirts and shoes. My size is that of an 18 year old guy, in most aspects, minus 2-3 inches of height. (I'm average female height.)

So this is my cosplay with the 30x30 pants. (Yes, I'm casting magic with a mathematical proofs book.) And my giant pants.

[A380]

Whoah, I never get any comments or weird looks!

The only thing that bothers me is that I have to shop in the boys' section. And I HATE IT because clothes designed for little boys are not even half as classy as the stuff meant for men. IT HURTS SO MUCH.

I'm the kind of petite girl, really short and scrawny. And it's impossible to find any piece of men's clothing that actually fits me. :/ Sometimes I spend shitloads of money on seamstresses services and having new clothes tailored to my unusual size.

[Zapstileon]

I hate gender. I have found it to be the most annoying problem my adolescent (and adult) self ever experienced. Right now, I don't even care one way or the other what gender I express or am perceived to have. I personally wear whatever I feel like, and shop in whatever section suits my needs. I have found that size S-ish in the male section fits me just fine and sizes S/M work from the female section. I have found, though, that store clerks don't give a shit. Most of them just want to go home and do whatever. It only becomes a problem if you start asking questions, which for me is a big problem, because half the time the sizes aren't S/M/L and so on. They are weird-ass numbers that vary between manufacturers and countries and I stand there in the store wondering what the hell one number is equivalent to in letters... And then I ask and they stare at me as if I am out of my freaking mind, shopping in this section rather than that. But other than that, I never noticed anyone giving me weird looks. The key is looking like you belong.

On a different, but not unrelated topic, has anyone ever noticed the ridiculous price differences between male and female care products? I recently needed a new razor (mine broke) and male razors (those that you can change the razor on when you need a new one and just keep the handle) were way more expensive than the same thing for women. I don't even get it. The only actual difference between the two products was that one was black and orange and the other was purple and pink. They were from the same manufacturer, both came with one extra blade and a plastic holder thingy, but one was cheap, the other not. And perfume? Male perfume flasks are like twice the size of female ones (for half the price). Insanity, I tell you.

Actually, as Nerdperson said, I too have been subconsciously dressing gender neutrally in the past because I didn't care. Now I do it consciously, and that's even better, but I see in pictures of me as a child that I very often look very neutral where my stepsister is obviously feminine. Very strange.

[Comrade Eden]

I'm not coming at this from a female perspective, but I am coming from a DMAB, agender person perspective. My style of dress is very flow-y and elegant, If I chose a few words to describe my clothing goals they would be anime, stereotypical old russian woman, librarian, and royalty. So, functionally, I get most of my clothes from the women's section, though I get some things from the men's section. In general, my experience has been not terrible for me, though I almost always get strange glances. A few people have told me that I'm in the women's section and, as the OP said, my response is usually something like "uh-huh". And once I got someone asking if it was a costume for a play.

I am, fortunately, a size that allows to get clothing regardless of gendered sections.

[A380]

On a different, but not unrelated topic, has anyone ever noticed the ridiculous price differences between male and female care products?

Haha, yeah! I always buy my shower gels and shit in the men's section, much to my female flatmates' dismay! For some reason they get weirded out by the contents of my bathroom shelf. But honestly, men's stuff is slightly cheaper and smells WAY better. :D

[Annapox]

I'm happy with more feminine clothing, except when it comes to dress shoes, those mesh shorts, and anything that's supposed to have pockets. (Girl pockets don't even deserve to be called pockets.) I've also heard that men's clothes are usually less expensive and better made than women's clothing, which is why I'm thinking of switching over to guy jeans since all of the jeans I own now are falling apart. The only issue is that I already have to have the waistbands of my jeans taken in because of the discrepancy between my waist and my hips. (It's so bad that wearing a belt just causes a painful amount of fabric bunching.) I think that'll only get worse if I switch to guy jeans. I don't care how jeans fit, as long as they stay up and aren't too tight (skinny jeans will never be for me).

I guess the point of that whole Spiel is that, while I don't currently shop in the men's section regularly, I might start soon. At least for pants and shorts.

[pitchblackonyx]

i've never had any issies like thet!

[Winnie_A]

I'm always afraid to start wandering around in the men's section because of comments people might make. :(

Plus, I'm tiny, so I know none of the normal men's clothes would fit me, so I would have to ask people if there are any smaller sizes, and that is intimidating.

[pitchblackonyx]

wiinnie, have you tried the boys sections?

bonus is that if anyone asks awkward questonis you don't want to asnwer trutfully then you can say you buying for a family member( brother/cousin/ newphew birthdya or soemthing if you're clearly not old anough to be a mother f a kid that age) and they're just about the same sixze as you.

[Winnie_A]

wiinnie, have you tried the boys sections?

bonus is that if anyone asks awkward questonis you don't want to asnwer trutfully then you can say you buying for a family member( brother/cousin/ newphew birthdya or soemthing if you're clearly not old anough to be a mother f a kid that age) and they're just about the same sixze as you.

I haven't...but I really want to, so I should probably brave it. I would probably fit just fine in a kid's large.

[BoxKitty]

TardisBlue, don't even get me started on what's wrong with female clothes:

- flimsy, poor quality, last only for a few months
- sizes: you have a choice between being either very tall and skinny or being 'curvy'

- generally too tight
- you can't move without causing a public nuisance (all sorts of body parts hanging out)
- stretch materials so you don't notice when you've put on weight
- obnoxious colours

etc

I mainly wear men's clothes whenever I can get away with it. At work, I go for a women's suit and women's shirts (rather than blouses, although women's shirts are still bad enough).

So far, I haven't got any comments, but I've had a female shop assistant look very uncomfortable and confused when I asked her to get me a pair of men's shoes in size 6.

On the whole, I find that the posher the shop is, the less they care. Posh people have always got away with gender-related things more than the 'masses'.

I've had the opposite happening, though. On the rare occasions when I did wear a dress or skirt in the past (haven't done that in ages), people took me for a male to female transgender person. (I'm a cis-female, with long hair and a reasonably feminine figure and face; there's no way anyone could mistake me for male-to-female based on my appearance alone when I'm wearing a skirt or dress).

[daveb]

(if you don't mind a male chiming in here)

I am male, but I love to wear women's clothing sometimes. I shop in women's departments, but usually when I do I'm fully dressed en femme (clothes, wig, makeup, forms, etc.). I haven't really had any negative comments doing that. But once when I was in male mode I was passing through the women's casual/athletic footwear section in a department store when some "helpful" male store employee told me that was the women's section.

People can shop for other people, so they could be in the "right" section for that. But even if you're shopping for yourself, you/we all have the right to shop in any department/section we want to. I say "own it", and don't let negative comments deter you. (easier said than done - I know, I've been there; but these days I'm much more confident when I shop. I think that helps.)

[Zosia]

[Member74140]

I can relate a little bit, I like wearing mostly gender neutral clothing since I feel comfortable in it. Can't wear makeup, dresses, jewelry, bleh. Makes me feel weird.

[nerdperson777]

http://www.buzzfeed.com/alisoncaporimo/things-every-woman-should-buy-in-the-mens-department#.oaxo4vNkW

[whatflowersareatmyfeet]

I sometimes dress pretty male and buy clothes from the men's section. Men's sweatshirts and tshirts tend to be so much softer and more comfortable than women's-- what's up with that? Also, you pretty much have to buy men's clothes if you want a real flannel shirt: one without sparkles or studs or lace. There's never any judgment at Goodwill in my experience.

[little fox]

Whoah, I never get any comments or weird looks!

The only thing that bothers me is that I have to shop in the boys' section. And I HATE IT because clothes designed for little boys are not even half as classy as the stuff meant for men. IT HURTS SO MUCH.

I'm the kind of petite girl, really short and scrawny. And it's impossible to find any piece of men's clothing that actually fits me. :/ Sometimes I spend shitloads of money on seamstresses services and having new clothes tailored to my unusual size.

Maybe you just need to find the right store? Every store does sizing a little bit differently.

Alternatively, maybe try getting a few items that are really good quality so that the seamstress money is worth it.

[little fox]

\My style of dress is very flow-y and elegant, If I chose a few words to describe my clothing goals they would be anime, stereotypical old russian woman, librarian, and royalty.

anime / old russian woman / librarian / royalty. I don't know how these fit together but I'm very impressed.

[kelico]

That is definitely annoying!! : ( Even though honestly most of my clothes are from the women's section...I just choose the most neutral/androgynous things, but when I have grabbed things from the men's sections, I haven't had issues! Maybe it's that the employees at my stores are horribly apathetic lol. Or they really can't tell my gender anyway. Fine by me. XD

It's a shame that people are so rude and judge so much just on what section you shop in. Clothes are clothes! (And goodness, a sale is a sale, so they shouldn't care where you're getting the clothes from.)

[dash]

Don't know if this has been discussed before but I wanted to rant. Also, sorry if I'm posting this in the wrong section, mods can move it if they want.

I am female, a cis female, but I've always worn boys/men clothes. No offence, but I find women clothes gross and they don't even make sense to me? Anyway, that's not the point. There are a lot of things I hate when I'm shopping:

1. When I'm checking someting out, "but those are for men" (yes I am an idiot who can't even separate clothes' genders, I needed you to tell me, yes thank you, you're a life saver. and what's that even supposed to mean, what's the point of saying those are for men, am I not allowed to buy them???)
2. Women's section is over there (again, I'm such an idiot guys, I haven't actually realised I was looking at men's clothes!!!!)
3. STARING
4. They don't come in your size (bitch I wear 32" trousers, size S/M tops, uk size 6 shoes, all men sizes btw, explain how the fuck they don't come in my size???)

These are the most common ones. There was this one guy who almost yelled at me, saying 'those are NOT for women', I stared at him so angrily and said 'I KNOW, NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS' he nearly peed himself, moron. Besides, who told you I identify as a woman anyway? I mean I do, but like, how do you know? So rude.

And, my favourite(!) thing about all this, ARE THEY BLIND??? COS I WALK IN THE STORE WEARING MEN CLOTHES ALREADY, CAN YOU NOT SEE ME?????? What's wrong with these people... They're draining my self confidence, I used to not care much, but nowadays I shy away from stores and prefer online shopping cos I don't have to take shit like that.

I've never got the "those don't come in your size" (because I am in the middle of he bellcurve for men's sizes -- WOMEN'S CLOTHES often don't come in my size unless catalogue/online), though I guess you've got told this even though the clothes very obviously do come in your size.

tl;dr, I try to skip in-store shopping and just order by catalogue/online. When I do shop in person, it's only at places that are VERY chill.

I get "can I help you ma'am?" when I walk in the door at more upscale places, which pretty much guarantees I won't buy a thing there and will just stare awkwardly at clothes and then leave. Less expensive stores never do this to me -- the salespeople are all way too busy or way too far away doing something else, or they just don't care WHAT I'm looking at or buying or for whom -- I think they just wanna get done with their shifts and get home. I try to avoid upscale places -- even if they're not directing me to where they think I "should" be shopping, or at least where they expect me to be shopping, they always greet me with Miss or Ma'am and why would I pay extra money to be called what I hate being called? I'd pay extra money to be LEFT ALONE when I shop, except I don't have to because it's the less expensive places that leave me alone! :) So I wait for sales and then go in and get my clothes for the year in one session, on sale, and get left alone, and I'm like TRIPLE WIN.

I've had "helpful" sales people in the more expensive stores try to direct me to the women's direction. A simple thank you and then ignoring them has got them off my back, but it's upsetting to have these interactions in the first place. For very expensive clothes (e.g. suits), it gets even worse, because then they're super happy to be taking your money and fitting you to a men's suit but they keep calling me "ma'am" all the time or otherwise mis-gendering me through their interactions and NO. I can feel it -- they're in "help the lady" mode. My solution to THAT was to know my size, order by phone, and have my dad go and pick it up for me because the thought of trying the suits on there was giving me panic attacks. (Buy two jackets, return the one that's not the right size, tailor the one that is, and so on.)

Changing rooms are also an issue. Old Navy has gender neutral changing stalls. Sears sort of has them gendered (at least, there's one near the men's department and one near the women's and no signs prohibiting anyone from going in there). All but one time, everything was fine. That one time was because a customer didn't want me going in there. Her teenage son was in one of the stalls trying on some clothes, and I wanted to walk in and she was standing by the door giving me the stink eye. I'm not sure if I bought the clothes without trying them on, or if I waited for them to leave. I forget.

The staff has never given me any trouble.

[TardisBlue]

@nerdperson777 your cosplay one looks good to me, but yeah the other one's a bit baggy :)

@dash this is the thing that scares me about the future, suits I mean. I never had to wear formal clothes before, but I'm about to gradute and at work I'll probably have to wear suits, at least occasionally, and it scares the hell out of me to go suit shopping :(

For all the skinny/petite/small people, I have good news, have you ever heard asos? Their men's clothes come in small sizes too, xxxs in tops, 26" in trousers/jeans. You should check it out, boys section no more, you can wear men's clothes! :)

Only yesterday I went to a sports store and the people were staring so hard, I got out of there before I could ask if the (men's) trainers I liked were available in my size *sigh*.

@daveb sometimes I can totally do that, sometimes I just can't, yesterday I couldn't :( Damn I wanna try those trainers so badly!

[Winnie_A]

\My style of dress is very flow-y and elegant, If I chose a few words to describe my clothing goals they would be anime, stereotypical old russian woman, librarian, and royalty.

anime / old russian woman / librarian / royalty. I don't know how these fit together but I'm very impressed.

I think Anastasia's grandmother, from the movie Anastasia, gets three out of four: Old Russian woman, royalty, animated. (I realize anime and animation are not exactly the same, but still)

Indeed very impressive :)

[binary suns]

just slap on some glasses and she'd be perfect for the discription :D

[Kanenas]

Unisex obviously is stellar and I wish I would see more of that! Been shopping in the men's section all my life. These days, the men's fit is a bit more defined, but not shaped funnily like women's. That, I love. Do I have to thank hipsters for that? I would!

Previously I had to decide between men's clothes I loved which were too big or fitting women's clothes I wouldn't be caught dead in. Now, XS or S slimfit from the men's section does the trick almost always, even for curvy people like me. Only pants are waaaaaaay too big for me, but I found jeans and chinos from the women's section to be unisex often. I like plain clothes (bows, fringes, semi-precious stones, seriously?) with a good and proper fit. Not wide, but also not cut funnily. That is almost impossible to find in the women's section, in my experience. Not liking is one thing, but for me, that cut blouses and women's coats have at the waist is the most dysphoria inducing feeling, it's right up there with bra shopping. My shirts need to be cut straight or I'll rather be wearing a potato sack.

The stares are no fun, but mostly people don't comment. And even if they did, I am absolutely positive I was called worse things by better people hundreds of times. It really doesn't make sense to comment on it though, how often do you see girlfriends, wives and mothers buy clothes for the men in their life? I see that all the time.