binary suns Posted January 18, 2015 Share Posted January 18, 2015 I experience an "emotional interest" in people, but I'm not sure if I'd call it attraction I'm not sure what else to say to explain it better but I do wanna know peoples thoughts on this... Link to post Share on other sites
AWhiteGyrfalcon Posted January 18, 2015 Share Posted January 18, 2015 Yes, I get squishes, emotional attraction/liking and what I can fantasy attraction to - ie reading a book, watching a movie or tv programme and feeling attraction, wanting to know that character.. But then I've a little Lithromantic in me lol to balance out my demi - so makes a lot of sense! That I'm a mass of crushes really lol only with me, nothing really develops beyond crushing - I seem to just like it.. Link to post Share on other sites
ZUT Posted January 18, 2015 Share Posted January 18, 2015 nothing here Link to post Share on other sites
Lyariage Posted January 18, 2015 Share Posted January 18, 2015 Yup. I get this. Lead to all sorts of confusion when I was younger, but since finding AVEN it's a lot less confusing cause I know other people experience the same. I know it's definitely not sexual or romantic, regardless of what people in the past have thought :P. Sometimes it could be called a squish. For me, it's an intense curiosity about a person, a feeling of wanting to get to know them and hang out with them to find out more about them and how they think. I still call it "an emotional connection" with a person, cause it makes most sense and usually I find that the feeling is reciprocated between us, hence the "connection" part. Not sure if I'm comfortable with the word "attraction" because of the general connotations that word leads to, but it's an interest, definitely. Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted January 18, 2015 Author Share Posted January 18, 2015 I feel my attention drawn to the person, is something so simple "attraction"? I would think attraction needs to be more than my attention being drawn to the person. I'm not sure how the emotional aspect relates to the attention aspect yet Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted January 18, 2015 Author Share Posted January 18, 2015 I wouldn't say it's related to my curiosity in things (or in this case people) my curiosity in someone is independent, for me. I'm curious in things for it's own reasons, my emotional interest I would say is this fantastical "bonding" everyone talks about, more like it's like, if I like a person's style and attitude, I am emotionally interested in who they are, but I might not be curious about them. and I'm curious about people I feel normal towards, emotionally. my attention is drawn based off of these two forces balancing, as well as other forces Link to post Share on other sites
WünderBâhr Posted January 18, 2015 Share Posted January 18, 2015 Moved to Romantic/Aromantic Orientations forum. Bipolar Bear Asexual Q&A Mod Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted January 18, 2015 Author Share Posted January 18, 2015 it might be easier to say that I do feel attraction, but I am not interested in a romantic or sexual connection with the people I'm attracted to. I'm neither wanting nor opposed to those connections, and I wouldn't know if I could really feel either connection myself. I feel connected to people, (edit: as "friend") but I can never be convinced that they feel connected to me. if I sense that they are, it is disconcerting because I'm not allowed to fool myself into thinking other people... "something" for/to me Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 18, 2015 Share Posted January 18, 2015 I'm not sure how love could be classified as anything other than "emotional interest". Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted January 18, 2015 Author Share Posted January 18, 2015 I have no clue what love is that is conditional love though I can only understand any feeling of love by describing it as unconditional, that the love is a feeling of caring and well sure interest. but why would I love the killer any different than the ant, or my mother? I cannot understand that conditionality. I fear the killer and feel power over the ant, and that is what makes them different, not how much I love them. I can say that I love something or someone, but when I use the word it is just a word that expresses a form of liking. when I use the word love in that way, it does not represent the emotion that I understand love to be, but only a "in the now" feeling of a coinciding "liking" with "attention" Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 18, 2015 Share Posted January 18, 2015 I'm not sure how love could be classified as anything other than "emotional interest". Well, not without waxing spiritual, anyway. ;) I could certainly give you a definition of love that is quite different from "emotional interest", but it would be noticeably outside of the bounds of what this thread is about... so I don't. It's why I speak out against the false equation of "love == romance" at every opportunity. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 18, 2015 Share Posted January 18, 2015 Okay, If you ask me so nicely.... ;) Love = acceptance of someone or something the way they are, without trying to change them; affirming our existential connection to them; actively wishing and encouraging them to express their individual existence the way that is fit for them, regardless of whether it is fit for us. (The "existental connection" is the most clearly spiritual part in this definition, and it's fundamentally linked to my idea/understanding of what love is.) Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted January 18, 2015 Author Share Posted January 18, 2015 Please share mysticism, I have no opposition to tangents, considering my first thought to any statement is almost always tangents :p lol almost every post I've made so far in this thread has been ninja'd Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted January 18, 2015 Author Share Posted January 18, 2015 My "emotional interest" is clearly not love in that case then. Maybe there is a feeling of existential connection, but then is merely observing a thing not a form of existential connection? Link to post Share on other sites
Fire & Rain Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 I use the word "emotional attraction" like all the time :D Some people on other websites are probably sick of me saying that. If I have to define myself with an attraction I feel most intensely, I'll say EMOTIONAL ATTRACTION. I experience it very deeply and intensely. It throws all other things out of the water!! I'm very very uninterested in almost every single person I know. I socialize with them but I don't really care if I lose them from my social circle. I socialize because it's a necessity but when I experience emotional attraction towards someone, I suddenly turn into the most curious person ever! I want to get to know them and be a part of their lives. After getting to know them better it turns into love :P Link to post Share on other sites
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