Chemic Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 Good point but in the next episode Ross was so worried Rachel was going to find out he slept with someone. Why would Ross feel sorry or guilty if it was a break or break up? Whether he cheated or not, it would take a real dummy not to realize that Rachel might be jealous over such news. I thin the more correct term would be "hurt", not jealous here. Say you were in a relationship and everything was going fine, but suddenly you guys just break up. Then you hear the very next day that your now ex had slept with someone that night of the break up. To me, I'd felt hurt and betrayed, even if we had just broken up, because it's like the guy going "our relationship meant nothing to me and I've already forgotten about you." Link to post Share on other sites
whitesphere Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 @Chemic I hear what you're saying. Even if it's not technically cheating, it is still very hurtful to Rachel to find out that Ross had slept with someone else that very night. It would make her feel, well, used and disposable to Ross. On that, I agree it was hurtful. I just view cheating as very specifically "I broke a promise." I don't really understand the idea of "Well, you said very hurtful things to me in an argument, but it was an argument so it's completely OK." I understand letting go of the past, but I can't imagine things said even then don't have some measure of truth to them. In this case, it was Rachel's saying they're taking a break from each other, at the end of the argument. The dialogue implied Ross DID try to see if she meant "spend a bit of time apart [but still be together as a couple]" and she said "No, we're taking a break." How do you know what to take seriously and what just to ignore in that situation? Link to post Share on other sites
Karl Viktor Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 I think trying to create universal definitions and rules for interpersonal relationships in general is a fruitless pursuit. To get a bit techy, the laws that govern a social contract are decided upon by its members. Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 *doesn't watch this show and only skimmed the OP* If you're still holding claim on someone (in terms of who they can carry out relationships with), you're not on a "break" and shouldn't phrase it as such. Link to post Share on other sites
LaMaestra Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 I didn't vote since I don't watch 'Friends' but would vote 'yes' simply because I can't stand David Schwimmer! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 Good point but in the next episode Ross was so worried Rachel was going to find out he slept with someone. Why would Ross feel sorry or guilty if it was a break or break up? Whether he cheated or not, it would take a real dummy not to realize that Rachel might be jealous over such news. Indeed. Saves me from making this exact point, myself. :) Oh, and my vote went to No. Link to post Share on other sites
General Patton Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 I think both failed to communicate properly, so both were wrong. They kind of misled each other and kept each other guessing. Link to post Share on other sites
.diva plavalaguna. Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 Yeah, he cheated. He went from "let's take a break from arguing" to "we're broken up!" And in such a short amount of time, he went and did it with some girl he didn't even know? Breaks are temporary, or at least that's what I got from what Rachel was saying. Tbh I don't even know how he got "we're done" from what she said, seems like kind of a flaw. But then, I've been watching this show every night between Everybody Loves Raymond and George Lopez, and if there is one thing I've noticed it is that Ross does A LOT of assuming when really he should just calm the fuck down, ask some questions and most importantly, NOT LIE. He's really frustrating to watch. If I ever got to a point where I needed a break from my S.O, that doesn't mean let's go experiment with other people. I don't even know why that would happen, if the other person had any remaining interest in rebuilding a relationship. In any case, I am not sure those two could have ever had a successful relationship, not with Ross's insecurities being as bad they were. Although, I don't remember how the show ends so idk if they actually ended up or not... Link to post Share on other sites
Ziggy_G Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 He didn't cheat. Technically. But emotionally yeh he betrayed her. I can't think of a single person I know male or female who would be okay with the person they've been in a long term relationship with, hooking up with someone else the very night they have a fight. That's not cool. Its not cheating, but its still a douchebag thing to do. Its still unacceptable and while Ross is right that they were on a break and it wasn't cheating, she still has every right to feel betrayed. Look at a different example, your close friend hooks up with your ex without asking you if your cool with it first. Technically what you think doesn't matter, their both adults and you don't own your ex, you don't actually have a say over who either one of them dates. But it would still really hurt that they didnt check it was cool with you. You'd still probably feel pretty betrayed, even though technically they did nothing wrong. I mean you weren't dating your ex at the time. But its a bro code violation, or a gal code violation, or a dating code violation, which would probably also include article 12: Don't do a Ross. (i.e. sleep with someone else before the other person in the breakup has even had a chance to sleep on it and thus calm down). Also slight side note but (even though I'm a total ross+rachel forever fan) on paper Ross is not the kinda guy who you want to be dating, I mean repeated failed marriages, extreme paranoia over her being around male friend/co-worker, anger issues (to the point at which he was suspended for it), has a child he rarely see's (but we have no reason to think he couldn't see him more) has had a lot of very brief relationships, a history of fighting, breaking up and getting back into the same dysfunctional relationship, lying about his marital state, breaking up with girlfriends to sleep with new girlfriends the same day, and sleeping with semi-random women when he's upset, has had a fight and is on a break. I am a Ross fan and I do think they should go together, but only in sitcom world. Where being good at romantic gestures is more important than being able to work at relationships. But if he was a person in real life, he would be an overly and immaturely romantic, douchebag, who I would be advising my friend to cut off forever. I've known people who've done a fraction of the stuff Ross has, and those are the people you stay away from and hope they grow up and learn how to have real relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
Roy M. Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 He didn't cheat. Technically. But emotionally yeh he betrayed her. I can't think of a single person I know male or female who would be okay with the person they've been in a long term relationship with, hooking up with someone else the very night they have a fight. That's not cool. Its not cheating, but its still a douchebag thing to do. Its still unacceptable and while Ross is right that they were on a break and it wasn't cheating, she still has every right to feel betrayed. If he didn't cheat, how can she feel betrayed? This makes no sense to me. Unless you are saying that is is according to the rules of sitcom world, not the real, rational world. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Inkbright Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 He didn't cheat. Technically. But emotionally yeh he betrayed her. I can't think of a single person I know male or female who would be okay with the person they've been in a long term relationship with, hooking up with someone else the very night they have a fight. That's not cool. Its not cheating, but its still a douchebag thing to do. Its still unacceptable and while Ross is right that they were on a break and it wasn't cheating, she still has every right to feel betrayed. If he didn't cheat, how can she feel betrayed? This makes no sense to me. Unless you are saying that is is according to the rules of sitcom world, not the real, rational world. Because feelings aren't always 100% logical. It's not 'Rachel could think Ross has betrayed her,' it's 'Rachel could feel betrayed.' Relationships, on the whole, work with feelings rather than logic, as most relationships exist due to feelings, rather than logic. In logical terms, if they were on a break, then Ross did nothing wrong. However, usually in a relationship such as the one Rachel and Ross has, you expect the other person in a relationship to love you and to want to be with you. Hooking up with someone else as soon as you (sort of) (tempoarily) break up is NOT something someone usually does is they love the person they (sort of) (temporarily) broke up with, and Rachel could feel betrayed over the fact that Ross's feelings towards her were apparently, as portrayed by his actions, a lot more casual than she would expect them to be. It's not really something that works in black and white lines. It's all expectations and consideration and expressing feelings. So even if Ross didn't technically cross any black and white lines, he could still have crossed grey fuzzy ones, and Rachel could feel betrayed about that. Link to post Share on other sites
Roy M. Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 What is this arguing exactly, that you can do something wrong and irrational to someone, and it's acceptable because you have emotions? Link to post Share on other sites
Star Inkbright Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 What is this arguing exactly, that you can do something wrong and irrational to someone, and it's acceptable because you have emotions? I'm not sure if you were talking to me, but if you were, that's almost the opposite of what I was arguing. Link to post Share on other sites
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