Trans Moments?

[nerdperson777]

I'm the only trans woman and one of two AMAB trans people (the other isn't around much) in my college's Queer and Allies group. All the others are gay guys, cis women, and AFAB trans people. There is occasional transmisogyny and naturally no one takes me seriously when I speak out against it, which I am always sure to do. It's really fucking annoying.

Also, am I the only one that really hates the terms MTF and FTM? I never was a "male" and I didn't suddenly, magically "become a female". I thought I was supposed to be a man/boy because that's what everyone implied and said I should be, but I never was. I just hate the words "male" and "female" in general, except in the acronyms AMAB and AFAB. And I find saying something like "the MtF" as a noun very offensive, it's just as bad as saying "a transgender".

I'm not offended by the words so I'd have a different view of this. Then again I'm a fairly clueless person so I just see it as the D_AB body change. Also it's just a label/description, as with many other words. I actually like the word FtM over MtF since I am partly one. I feel kind of weird when I say how the letters fit together. The left side of the F and right side of the M close up the word nicely while MtF just leaves it open. I don't know. The ramblings of my mind. (Not meant to offend anyone.)

[Heart]

Google advertisements, in all its wisdom, has recently tried to sell me breast forms and a binder at the same time, with one ad atop the other. Apparently they've noticed me taking interest in trans stuff. Creepy capitalists.

That made me chuckle. I'm pretty sure Facebook had decided I'm a gay man for a while back a few years ago, and it amuses me to no end.

Genderqueers: screwing with your capitalist algorithms like a boss.

[kiaroskuro]

I think I was referred to as 'he' for the very first time today. I'm a genderqueer person who sports an androgynous look, but I've never once been seen as anything else but female. Wow. I feel neither offended nor flattered, just ... surprised. And yes, it did put a little smile on my face as well.

[RK800]

Going to get my hair cut to a faux hawk style pixie cut soon which I could not be more thrilled about. If my face wasn't so female and my chest was flatter (and if I was out of the closet to my family) I'd pass.

I was going to go up to my Mom and say "Hey, I feel trapped. I'm miserable with my body so could I see a gender therapist? Can I please have a binder?"

But then she started discussing with my Grandma how awful it was that the girl scouts accepted girls who were trans so I walked right back to Narnia.

[littlepersonparadox]

Going to get my hair cut to a faux hawk style pixie cut soon which I could not be more thrilled about. If my face wasn't so female and my chest was flatter (and if I was out of the closet to my family) I'd pass.

I was going to go up to my Mom and say "Hey, I feel trapped. I'm miserable with my body so could I see a gender therapist? Can I please have a binder?"

But then she started discussing with my Grandma how awful it was that the girl scouts accepted girls who were trans so I walked right back to Narnia.

OUCH I feel you're pain. I'm not out to my parents either, but just becasue they seem overly confused by it and I'm pretty sure it would be a long and fair time before a mutual understanding would be reached genuinely. My parents would support me and try not to say anything silly/offensive but I've heard them say some mis-guided things about trans* people not out of hate but just ignorance. Girl guides accepting trans girls is actually something we have been discussing for awhile. There was even talk of us going co-ed in my troop for awhile like how the boy scouts did. (went all the way from sparks to ranger until my first year of collage and didn't have time for it still) Glad to see its finally happening. Trust me this was a topic of conversation for years before anything happened.

Also what is a Faux Hawk style pixie? I have never heard of it and I usually do a form of pixie.

Kappamaki, on 12 May 2015 - 12:28 AM, said:

Google advertisements, in all its wisdom, has recently tried to sell me breast forms and a binder at the same time, with one ad atop the other. Apparently they've noticed me taking interest in trans stuff. Creepy capitalists.

That made me chuckle. I'm pretty sure Facebook had decided I'm a gay man for a while back a few years ago, and it amuses me to no end.

Genderqueers: screwing with your capitalist algorithms like a boss.

[RK800]

OUCH I feel you're pain. I'm not out to my parents either, but just becasue they seem overly confused by it and I'm pretty sure it would be a long and fair time before a mutual understanding would be reached genuinely. My parents would support me and try not to say anything silly/offensive but I've heard them say some mis-guided things about trans* people not out of hate but just ignorance. Girl guides accepting trans girls is actually something we have been discussing for awhile. There was even talk of us going co-ed in my troop for awhile like how the boy scouts did. (went all the way from sparks to ranger until my first year of collage and didn't have time for it still) Glad to see its finally happening. Trust me this was a topic of conversation for years before anything happened.

Also what is a Faux Hawk style pixie? I have never heard of it and I usually do a form of pixie.

Yeah, I understand where you're coming from. My family was rather accepting when I came out as ace but I guess this is pretty different.

And that's good, I figured they had been discussing it for a while before announcing the plans publicly. A good idea as far as I'm concerned, I'd say it's about time.

And the hair style is for the most part like this: http://i.ytimg.com/vi/H9Cfvl48AmY/maxresdefault.jpg

I figured it'd still looks somewhat androgynous rather than entirely masculine so my family wouldn't jump on me. They seem to think it'll look fine and I'm going to donate whatever gets chopped off. ^^

[nerdperson777]

That second one looks nice. I'm planning on getting a haircut in about 2 weeks with a new hairstyle which I have never done in my life. But I may try to make it look a little more masculine since I'm out to my parents.

[RK800]

I've never had short hair so this will be quite the change (definitely for the better) for me.

And that's about the time I'm getting mine done. :P

Any reference on what you plan for it to look like?

[nerdperson777]

I've never had short hair so this will be quite the change (definitely for the better) for me.

And that's about the time I'm getting mine done. :P

Any reference on what you plan for it to look like?

I haven't really thought it out but a "normal" boy cut. But what exactly is "normal", I'm not sure.

[RK800]

Oh, that's cool. I think I know what you're talking about, I'm sure it'll look great!

Also, today my Grandma said I looked like a boy.

I would have been quite happy but I really don't want her to expect anything.

So this is a very complex situation.

[nerdperson777]

Well it will depend on how the front looks. I've noticed that some like it hanging off the forehead, no bangs at all, and I'm not sure if I'm giving good descriptions.

[RK800]

No worries. I find that looking around online helps since that helped me decide (and having pics for the barber/stylist always helps).

Depends on who you go to as well and if that particular person has styled your hair before.

[nerdperson777]

I'm having my Qtor do it for me. She says she's good with clippers so we'll see how it'll turn out. What I actually had a pic for, she said I might have to gel to make it stay even though I thought it was simple. I think I just have too much hair in some places and need to add to another to get that look.

[RK800]

Understood.

I'm having a sylist who my Mom always goes to do mine.

The syle (second pic) requires gels or styling wax while the first pics shows it flat.

Sometimes the simplest styles are the most difficult but it might still be worth the trouble.

[butterflydreams]

Google advertisements, in all its wisdom, has recently tried to sell me breast forms and a binder at the same time, with one ad atop the other. Apparently they've noticed me taking interest in trans stuff. Creepy capitalists.

That made me chuckle. I'm pretty sure Facebook had decided I'm a gay man for a while back a few years ago, and it amuses me to no end.

Genderqueers: screwing with your capitalist algorithms like a boss.

Not really a trans moment, but those algorithms and systems freak me out. They really are that good, I can vouch for that. Here's something you may not know; most websites nowadays use Google Analytics to track visits. Back in the day, it was just how many people visited my site? Now you can glean a disgusting amount of demographic information using it. It tries to primarily do age and gender (not sure how accurate that is. We don't use that part of it where I work.) But geo-location, interests you might have, definitely what kind of device you used to view the site, and definitely where you were before you came to the site, and a lot more.

That's why I use browser plugins to specifically block those ad trackers (specifically Google Analytics, but there are others). The days of annoying pop up internet ads are over. Ads on the internet are HUGE business, and the algorithms are incredibly sophisticated. Definitely one of those "we were so busy trying to see if we could, we didn't stop to think if we should" moments in history.

So genderqueers might muck with the algorithms for now, but I don't believe for a second they won't improve them. Maybe to even add "genderqueer" as a possible gender demographic! Stay safe out there, kids!

[nerdperson777]

Understood.

I'm having a sylist who my Mom always goes to do mine.

The syle (second pic) requires gels or styling wax while the first pics shows it flat.

Sometimes the simplest styles are the most difficult but it might still be worth the trouble.

I normally get my haircuts at this place near my house since I live next to a plaza. I've gone to the same place with almost always the same hairdresser because she gets to have conversations with my mom. So I have gone there for 10+ years with the same haircut. It's gotten to the point that she's actually bored of giving me the exact same haircut and wish I'd try something different. Next time will be different, alright.

Also cutting my hair is really simple, yet the hairdressers there can still mess it up. I just get a straight cut around my head and my bangs, and sometimes I even do my own bangs so all they have to do is make it look even. Whatever layering was, I had no clue for the longest time, but some workers there kept layering and layering so my hair would look odd. Okay, I don't need to rant about haircuts.

[Heart]

So genderqueers might muck with the algorithms for now, but I don't believe for a second they won't improve them. Maybe to even add "genderqueer" as a possible gender demographic! Stay safe out there, kids!

That almost makes me happy. Almost. If it weren't advertisements I guess..... visibility yay? :P

[TheAspieBaker]

Today at the dermatologist, the doctor was checking to see any moles were on my back and chest. I was wearing my binder and she was so puzzled by it, she's like "Oh my goodness, haha! how am i supposed to see anything?!" We were laughing but I was pretty embarrassed. I had the added joy of my mother being in the room (she wanted to ask the doctor a question about her skin), and she said my face turned bright red when the doctor had to lift up my binder to check my back. My mom knows about my trans so she knows why I wear a binder. I think she got a little second hand embarrassment...

[NotGojoSatoru]

Sometime back, when I didn't know about agender people, my friend and I were talking about another female person's behavior and the conversation was like,

Me: Why would they do this? It doesn't really make sense.

Friend: Because they are girls

Me: But I don't do this.

Friend: Girls, who are not you, do this.

Me: okay

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When I was a kid I took my mom's nail polish to paint my toy car red. I was proud, mom wasn't. I didn't really understand what was wrong (still don't). Though the car looked quite terrible later. :(

[dissolved]

Luckily I'm not offended particularly easily, so I ended up laughing through this experience with my truly clueless counsellor this morning - although how much laughter could be put down to solely being uncomfortable, I'm not entirely sure :D

Could be construed as transphobic, so skip this if you're not feeling too tolerant right now -_-

Counsellor: So, your notes say you're transsexual...

Me: Eugh, horrible word. *explains difference between biological sex and gender*

Counsellor: That makes sense. So... transgender then. Which way round are you?

Me: *facepalm* Pretty sure you're not supposed to ask that.

I know it was completely innocent on her part and she wasn't trying to insult me by implying she couldn't tell "what" I was, but holy crap I felt awkward for a while :lol: At least that's not the worst reaction someone has had to me...

[Heart]

Luckily I'm not offended particularly easily, so I ended up laughing through this experience with my truly clueless counsellor this morning - although how much laughter could be put down to solely being uncomfortable, I'm not entirely sure :D

Could be construed as transphobic, so skip this if you're not feeling too tolerant right now -_-

Counsellor: So, your notes say you're transsexual...

Me: Eugh, horrible word. *explains difference between biological sex and gender*

Counsellor: That makes sense. So... transgender then. Which way round are you?

Me: *facepalm* Pretty sure you're not supposed to ask that.

I know it was completely innocent on her part and she wasn't trying to insult me by implying she couldn't tell "what" I was, but holy crap I felt awkward for a while :lol: At least that's not the worst reaction someone has had to me...

...at least she tried :P Maybe a good suggestion is to tell her that it's polite to ask about pronouns, and less polite to ask questions referring to private parts? Aya, it's worth a chuckle though, the things people come up with to try to sound accepting and awesome while still asking that one question that always seems to be on their minds

[butterflydreams]

I think I've got two today!

First was just kinda lame. After a little bit of internal panic that my hair was being pulled out by combing it, I'm actually realizing just how long it really is (*squee!*). The guy at work who I was "competing" with for longest hair shaved his head like a month ago, so now I'm only doing it because I am. There's no "contest" excuse. Another guy at work kept saying, "dude, it's time for a hair cut" and I kept insisting that no, I liked it this way. Incidentally, I'm shocked, shocked I tell you, that no one has commented at all on the clips I use to hold part of it in place. I even switched to the ones that stick out instead of black to blend with my hair. I think they're very girly. In my head, they make me feel girly, and I certainly thought they looked that way, but nobody really bats an eye at them. A win I guess :P

Next one is actually a brief discussion I had with a very, very old friend. We used to be insanely close. We're not as close these days (he's engaged, busy, living 180 miles away, etc), but I still like to talk to him. I have to preface this by saying no matter what he says, no matter how crude it may be, I know he cares deeply for his friends, including me. I like to talk to him because I know even in his crudeness there's a tremendous amount of caring, and he'll be the first to use it to make me laugh if I'm taking things or myself too seriously. I don't know if this is transphobic, crude, insensitive, or whatever, but I'll spoiler it just in case.

Me: So I took the day off today to visit a transgender clinic. Got a form for HRT and everything.

Him: No fucking shit...

Me: Indeed.

Him: Don't you need to have all kinds of therapy before you commit to something like this?

Me: Not necessarily, but where do you think I've been for the past year? It's not a switch you flip anyway.

Him: So...are you going to have your P turned into a V? (That's about as classy and sensitive as I'm gonna get)

Me: hahaha, cute. I don't know. We might be able to bump uglies if you want.

Him: Nah, banging a friend ruins everything...unless you're offering a titty fuck when those come in, then I'm all on board.

Me: I am not offering that.

Him: Ok then!

I really did find it funny though. It's like he just knows what to say that seems crude, but shows he cares in his own special way. Like I said, helps keep me in check if I'm starting to take life or myself too seriously :) He would never ever say anything like this to someone other than me. We have such a long history.

[Dakkon]

The guy at work who I was "competing" with for longest hair shaved his head like a month ago, so now I'm only doing it because I am. There's no "contest" excuse. Another guy at work kept saying, "dude, it's time for a hair cut" and I kept insisting that no, I liked it this way.

Could always say your making a bowstring.

[butterflydreams]

I just got bit by the google search algorithm bug too!

Searching for collar styles, because there are too many, and I don't know the names. I only know things that show a lot of chest do not work for me :(

So, google search for "collar styles" and the entire first page is like men's dress shirt collar styles (there's more than one?). Ahh, nope google, sorry, you dropped the ball on this one, down at the bottom in suggested searches "women's collar styles" that's the one ;)

[C-3PO]

When I was at work the other day, some lady walked up to me and called me a 'young man', after she asked her questions and i answered them she said 'i just called you a young man but are you that?' and as I was walking away to get my boss I said' oh that doesn't really matter!'. It just makes me really happy to apparently give a masculine vibe or something.

[Jockey]

Also, am I the only one that really hates the terms MTF and FTM? I never was a "male" and I didn't suddenly, magically "become a female". I thought I was supposed to be a man/boy because that's what everyone implied and said I should be, but I never was. I just hate the words "male" and "female" in general, except in the acronyms AMAB and AFAB. And I find saying something like "the MtF" as a noun very offensive, it's just as bad as saying "a transgender".

I dislike the terms MTF and FTM for the reason you state.

I only encountered the terms AMAB and AFAB late in my trans life, and they seem odd to me. Although in theory I don't have a problem with them, in practice they don't seem to be used in ways that strike me as... truthful. People just substitute them into the same old sentences that used to contain "genetic male", "genetic female", "biological male" and "biological female".

I am A-OK with the terms male and female.

I am generally okay with the usage of adjectives as nouns. It strikes me as bad grammar more than it does hate speech.

[pi399]

So I played in the pit orchestra for one of my high school's musicals this last semester. The dress for pit orchestra is really plain and androgynous; it literally is just black clothes, in order to not attract attention away from the stage. I was out as AMAB genderqueer to our (trans guy) bassist (but basically to no one else), although at this point I really don't know how I identify... anyways. I also have long hair and a fairly thin frame. At the performances, I wore light makeup, mainly to cover up acne, and a lipstick that looks almost identical to my lips' natural color. The bassist later told me that his grandmother in the audience couldn't tell if I was a boy or a girl, and my friend in the audience who brought a friend with her said that they couldn't determine my gender either. Hearing that I confused at least two people, with only light makeup! made me really happy. :)

[Heart]

well done :D

[Jake25]

I don't think it's good to flash people. If they already think the GLBT crowd are a bunch of perverts they'll blame other GLBT people for things like that. Don't you want them to see you as a person who is just different, and not been seen as having a conduct disorder? I mean no offense.

[Kappamaki]

I don't think it's good to flash people. If they already think the GLBT crowd are a bunch of perverts they'll blame other GLBT people for things like that. Don't you want them to see you as a person who is just different, and not been seen as having a conduct disorder? I mean no offense.

... Sorry, who are you talking to? Are you posting on the wrong thread, perhaps?