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nerdperson777

Trans Moments?

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nerdperson777
7 hours ago, Calligraphette_Coe said:

One trick is to always pick an underwire bra, as they hold their shape a lot better. It is, of course, no fun to get poked by those damn wires, though.

I told my AFAB roommate that I've never used wires, as my mom didn't get them.  They kind of impulsively said F U, as they have been used to not needing to have a filter after a year of not being in professional environments.  They quickly said sorry, as it wasn't really meant in an insulting way.

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Phoenix the II

Being treated like I am female by this interviewer, it didn't even come to mind to tell them I was trans. It felt unnecessary. 

 

Which was nice for once ^_^  

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Sarah-Sylvia

I hope to have trans stories to tell once I'm finally out :P

Well, here's one for not being out or passing, I guess. I went to get laser hair removal, and the lady was really nice. I told her I was trans and everything, and she was totally accepting and it felt like she understood, and I'm very sure she knew I was mtf. Anyway later, she calls me a guy(man), twice, in some conversations! I was like, ok I'm used to it, but I thought you knew I was trans!

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DuranDuranfan

This is super funny and a little shocking. I was at work(I’m back doing custodian work), and doing my hourly washroom cleaning rounds. I was cleaning out the men’s bathroom and before I wiped down the urinals, I had to pee. I figured since I was already there, I’d use the urinal, then clean up afterwards. Well as I’m still peeing, this guy comes in(didn’t pay attention to the sign), was like “oh geez!”. I think he was expecting to use one of the urinals and was surprised to see someone(me!) there. Since there are only two urinals and two stalls, he followed the bro code(as I call it) and went into the stall instead. I’m not sure if he saw that I’m AFAB, my uniform shirt is cut for a female body and it’s kinda form fitting on me, and I was also taking a break from binding so my boobs were a little prominent even with a sports bra. But as he left he never said a word. Quite the genderfuck moment.

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nerdperson777
On 12/10/2019 at 7:23 PM, Sarah-Sylvia said:

I hope to have trans stories to tell once I'm finally out :P

Well, here's one for not being out or passing, I guess. I went to get laser hair removal, and the lady was really nice. I told her I was trans and everything, and she was totally accepting and it felt like she understood, and I'm very sure she knew I was mtf. Anyway later, she calls me a guy(man), twice, in some conversations! I was like, ok I'm used to it, but I thought you knew I was trans!

Sounds like this one story I heard.  Transthetics, the realistic STP company, has this thing where they give out a $150 coupon or a free voucher for one of their products if someone tells a story that talks about their product in any way.  I read one story about a trans person (don't really remember if they were binary or not) who went to get a Brazilian, I think, and wasn't sure what to put down for the sex.  They didn't want to be charged extra for shaving balls if they didn't have any and was really nervous.  The employee didn't even react to seeing their parts and it hit the trans person that the employee sees people's crotches on a normal basis.  The worker asked some questions and the person said about how they have the STP and that's helpful for their dysphoria.  So people that do hair removal should be used to seeing naked bodies, or at least parts, at one time.

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Sarah-Sylvia
1 hour ago, nerdperson777 said:

Sounds like this one story I heard.  Transthetics, the realistic STP company, has this thing where they give out a $150 coupon or a free voucher for one of their products if someone tells a story that talks about their product in any way.  I read one story about a trans person (don't really remember if they were binary or not) who went to get a Brazilian, I think, and wasn't sure what to put down for the sex.  They didn't want to be charged extra for shaving balls if they didn't have any and was really nervous.  The employee didn't even react to seeing their parts and it hit the trans person that the employee sees people's crotches on a normal basis.  The worker asked some questions and the person said about how they have the STP and that's helpful for their dysphoria.  So people that do hair removal should be used to seeing naked bodies, or at least parts, at one time.

Uhh, heh. It'd be funny if the person would be super surprised though. But that's good, i think. Here there's hardly anyone trans so people wouldn't be used to it 😜

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Starbogen

I had an appointment for an Official Thing today, and when my legal/birthname was called I went and walked through the door... but the person who called me just kept standing there by the doorway waiting for the assumed-female person with my legal name to get up XD 

I had to do a little wave and be like "hey yeah the appointment's for me" lol

Sadly then he went on calling me by my legal name and fem pronouns even after I subtly mentioned being trans but oh well, I'll focus on the nice part of the moment. 

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Sarah-Sylvia

There just isn't enough experience with trans people for some, I think :P
Those that are used to it obviously know better how to use the pronouns and all that.

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nerdperson777

So more fun moments with my coach.  There's a class with just me and the pan girl.  She pulled her shirt out a little and it made a little smack sound.  The coach heard it and asked what it was.  I said, "fixing a bra?"  I was correct.  She had pulled the bra a little to readjust.  So I joked to my coach, "sounds like you need to wear more bras" [to recognize the sounds they make].  Conversations for the rest of class included topics like the seminar the two went to about vaginoplasty, which I said that I've heard people dilating the wrong hole, and the feeling of freshly shaved legs.  I said that I used to never have (body) hair and now I do.  There were kids in the room but they seemed preoccupied with technology.  There was one teenager doing homework that the coach said wasn't a kid and I asked "are you sure?"  The teen got slightly offended and left the room. 🤣 This is how that class mostly goofs off.

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DolphinLover22

There was one time, before I came out, that I was stocking shelves at my work. This older lady was with a young boy. She asked the boy what he thought some other boys might want for presents. He didn't know, so she said, "why don't you ask this young man here? I'm sure he'd know." Obviously, I thought she was talking about someone else. I was turned away from them, so they only saw the back of me. Well, when I stood up and turned around, she looked at my name tag with my dead name and was like "OH! That's not a boy! Um... We can ask someone else..." She was very uncomfortable after that, but I just stepped up and said that I could help. She said, "But we need to know what a GUY would want." I just ignored her, showing the young boy what I thought would be a good choice. 

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Janus DarkFox
On 12/13/2019 at 7:33 PM, Sarah-Sylvia said:

There just isn't enough experience with trans people for some, I think :P
Those that are used to it obviously know better how to use the pronouns and all that.

Yeah same, I still think I’m now to this trans stuff, even when I’ve known the gender difference for a couple of years.  Perhaps having it officially getting recognised has renewed this trans experience for me... I mean also I’ve already taken steps to partially transition through non-medical means and such my own feminising process is really normal to me now, very much used to it now as a coping mechanism to avoid much of the dysphoria.

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nerdperson777

I was ordering a costume the other day for a performance months from now.  I was told to add one inch to each measurement so I can move.  I added two to the chest because who knows if I'll have pecs by then, now that all the fat is gone.

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nerdperson777

I had a thing happen yesterday and I told it to my groups.  I think my screenshot should be sufficient in explaining things.  The two people who replied to the conversation are the known trans girls in the server.

 



5qVOlmo.png

 

That makes me wonder though, am I really androgynous looking enough for people to think I'm a trans girl?  Or that I pass as male so well, that they think I'm a non-passing trans girl?  I know I act feminine but is that really possible?

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Ms. Carolynne

Today I overheard a customer wonder if I was a boy or a girl to their friend, then they laughed about it :( 

 

Yesterday I had a dude give me a double take, which was kind of weird but I didn't think anything of it, until  my coworker brought it up.

 

I get a lot of weird looks and comments sometimes.

 

I'm wondering if this means I'm more androgynous than I think, or if I just stand out more than I think. The former I'm okay with (although I wish people weren't jerks about it), but the latter scares me because I don't want to look like a feminine guy, or be the stereotype of the obvious trans woman.

 

I'm not even out, so obviously in boy mode. There's male-failing, then there's "wtf are you?", I wish I could do more of the former. Or maybe just not draw attention to myself.

 

This also has me contemplating if I should pull of the band aid sooner than later because people seem to be getting vibes (or just confused anyway), or just continue to hide in the closet like nothing's going on because people are rude and easily mind-blown by this stuff.

 

On a brighter note, I did overhear a customer explaining to their child that some guys are gender non-conforming, and that it's okay, while I was on break last week. Finally, some good parenting.

 

IDK, maybe I'm overthinking this stuff, but it's frustrating that if you're even slightly gnc in regards to your assigned sex people lose their shit.

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Starbogen
5 hours ago, Ms. Carolynne said:

 

I'm wondering if this means I'm more androgynous than I think, or if I just stand out more than I think. The former I'm okay with (although I wish people weren't jerks about it), but the latter scares me because I don't want to look like a feminine guy, or be the stereotype of the obvious trans woman.

Well idk what you look like but I think it does mean that you look pretty androgynous for the most part, because if those two first assholes had thought you looked like a fem guy or a trans woman who didn't pass they would have said.. a different kind of bs, instead of wondering what you were.

 

Sorry you're getting weird, and rude, looks and comments though, that really sucks. Like I get that a gnc or very androgynous person isn't something people see every day so it's kind of a very human reaction to look for a moment but people can be so... ugh idk, just rude and nosy sometimes. 

 

I went through that phase of looking very androgynous for a while and though I don't remember getting double looks or comments (probably mostly just because I ignored my surroundings a lot though) I did get read differently on a constant basis. Like any given day someone could see me as a guy and then another person as girl and another as a guy and so on. But this one person one time actually said she couldn't tell.. So yeah, then I did some very simple things to look more masc and suddenly I was seen as male 100% of the time. 

 

I think you might be in a similar stage, but in reverse, where if people are already struggling to decide what gender they perceive you as then maybe it would be pretty easy for you to feminize your presentation and just be seen as female. 

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Minty greens

Non-binary here.
I was dressed masc that day and was buying a bra for later. The person (early 20s) at the register said something like, "good for you to know your girlfriends size" and trying to be a little bit of a bro suggesting things, I just went with it. We started to talk because I saw him riding a nice bike earlier so we were talking about "my girlfriend" Alis and bikes. seven+ minutes pass and before I leave he introduces himself as Jacob, while I swipe the bra into my bag, "nice talking with you, I'm Alis" and then I shook his hand while the cogs turned in his head. It was funny to see. 

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nerdperson777

I was talking in my trans chatroom about how I planned on getting a mannequin for my cosplay and other costuming purposes.  There's one on eBay that's probably the closest I'll get to my dimensions.  When I have been searching, a lot of them are 6 feet tall or taller, when I'm more than half a foot shorter than that.  And it's probably hard finding an exact fit for me, as I'm not nearly as tall as a cis man, my torso is more masculine, I would need feminine hips (can't really do anything about that shape), then a feminine left leg and a masculine right leg. 

 

For those who don't know, the reason for the different legs is because I do a lot of leg training so I have huge thighs.  I broke my right ACL requiring surgery.  I had been on T for most of a year at that point so my left leg just got a little bigger.  When I got the bandages off my right leg, it was withered down to practically nothing.  I had to rebuild that leg and it was really built on T.  The left leg just got stronger, but the right leg had to come back from scratch.  My left leg resembles the roundness of a female leg while the right has the more slim angled look.

 

So we were talking and I said, I guess I can smooth down the crotch to not have a bulge.  A girl said, I wish I could do that.  I guess having a mannequin's body wouldn't be so bad.

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Grey-Ace Ventura
1 hour ago, nerdperson777 said:

When I have been searching, a lot of them are 6 feet tall or taller, when I'm more than half a foot shorter than that.  And it's probably hard finding an exact fit for me, as I'm not nearly as tall as a cis man, my torso is more masculine, I would need feminine hips (can't really do anything about that shape), then a feminine left leg and a masculine right leg.

I almost told you to get a male and a female mannequin and mash them together so you can get the right mix, and then I realized this isn't the Coffee and a Lack of Empathy thread...

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zi3l

My school has a uniform. Boys wear shorts, girls wear skirts, anyone can wear pants. I'm wearing shorts (as an AFAB) because it's too hot for pants, and I've always loathed wearing skirts/dresses. But, if anyone's like "hey, what the fuck," I can say they're either sexist or a transphobe (and I don't even have to out myself)! It's a win-win! 

 

Also, in maths:

Me (talking to teacher): so we do this, and this?
Teacher: yeah, just wait a moment

... time passes, teacher does a thing
Teacher (at me): now where's the missus? 

Me (looking to find the missus): Who? Where? (realises the teacher is talking about me) Oh! Right here. 
 

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Grey-Ace Ventura

I look in my drawer and all my shirts are clingy and dysphoria-inducing

 

Me: *deep breath* Just be a man and show off them titties

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DuranDuranfan

I just want to wear tank tops without my binder. The men’s tank tops with the wider arm holes. But because I have big boobs, they will be noticeable. Gah!😖 

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Grey-Ace Ventura
18 minutes ago, DuranDuranfan said:

I just want to wear tank tops without my binder. The men’s tank tops with the wider arm holes. But because I have big boobs, they will be noticeable. Gah!😖 

I feel your pain. I have a men's tank top but the arm holes show the binder, the shoulders are too big, and it's halfway down my thighs.

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nerdperson777
On 5/6/2020 at 8:52 PM, Grey-Ace Ventura said:

I almost told you to get a male and a female mannequin and mash them together so you can get the right mix, and then I realized this isn't the Coffee and a Lack of Empathy thread...

Yeah, I was wondering if I could get a male torso, female hips, female left leg, male right leg, but it's probably too expensive to justify the cost, plus seeing uneven things kind of irk me.  I'll probably buy that mannequin this month, but I'll have to find out where to put it since my room isn't organized yet.  Plus my roommates will be wondering what did I order that's in a giant box.  I know that the mannequin is disassembled for shipping but it is still probably pretty big.

 

20 hours ago, zi3l said:

Me (looking to find the missus): Who? Where? (realises the teacher is talking about me) Oh! Right here. 
 

Co-worker: Thank you sir.

Me (thinking): Sir?  Oh right, I am seen as a sir, yes.

 

7 hours ago, DuranDuranfan said:

I just want to wear tank tops without my binder. The men’s tank tops with the wider arm holes. But because I have big boobs, they will be noticeable. Gah!😖 

I think I'm kind of in a non-binary thought about those arm holes.  The feminine ones go really close to the armpit.  The masculine ones are so low that any boob haver would have them visible from the side.  Some even drag the holes all the way down to the waist and I don't understand why.  I want the old style tanks that aren't too high and not too low.  But it seems hard to find them now.  I can only find all the skinny strapped, low armpit ones.

 

I have this one binder, might be at my parents', and it's built into a tank.  Under the tank is a bunch of clasps like a bra.  So no one sees the compression.  So with that one can be at least flat in a tank.

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DuranDuranfan
5 hours ago, nerdperson777 said:

I think I'm kind of in a non-binary thought about those arm holes.  The feminine ones go really close to the armpit.  The masculine ones are so low that any boob haver would have them visible from the side.  Some even drag the holes all the way down to the waist and I don't understand why.  I want the old style tanks that aren't too high and not too low.  But it seems hard to find them now.  I can only find all the skinny strapped, low armpit ones.

 

I have this one binder, might be at my parents', and it's built into a tank.  Under the tank is a bunch of clasps like a bra.  So no one sees the compression.  So with that one can be at least flat in a tank.

The problem with the feminine ones is while they give boob coverage, they’re cut curved at the sides. I need a straight cut to make my figure into a rectangle.

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