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spoidersquiggle

Ace Fets... Shall we talk about fetishes?

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dash

As good a place as any for a first post.

Oh man, I sure am glad to see others with fetishes who identify on the ace spectrum. My fetish was what kept me from identifying as ace for a long time. I figured since I experienced sexual arousal from my fetish, I couldn't be ace. Glad to know better now!

spoidersquiggle, it's so, so awesome to see how proud and accepting you are of your fetish! I've struggled with shame over mine throughout my teenage years and have only in the past couple years taken huge strides toward being accepting of it and even proud of it. Even when I was most ashamed of it, though, I never wanted it gone - it's such an inextricable part of my internal identity. You really hit the nail on the head for me with what you said about it going beyond just arousal - the fascination, excitement, and even aesthetic beauty we can find in our fetishes, and that ineffable emotion they can induce.

For the curious, I'm a vorarephile. It's been with me my whole life, found out there was a word for it when I was fourteen (nearly twenty now). If you don't know what vorarephilia is, it's the attraction to the idea of eating another living thing, being eaten by another living thing, or observing this happening - hence the 'vore' root, i.e., to eat - as in carnivore, herbivore, etcetera. There is a lot of variety within this fetish and it sometimes gets a bad rap, especially when people try to tie it to real-life cannibal cases, which is NOT what this fetish is AT ALL for the vast, vast majority of people. Orbiting this paraphilia, which is essentially my entire sexuality, are kinks for related content like stuffing, weight gain, feedism - eating being the uniting factor in all of them.

A whole new take on that Discovery Channel song. :-)

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Ziggy_G

Thanks for explaining the difference between fetish and kinks :) It makes it make a lot more sense. It encompasses my sexual identity completely, people keep annoying me lately by saying that I'm not sexual not I'm Asexual, which I really can't identify with, I feel like a very sexual being I just don't understand why other people would arouse me??

I'm having a lot of fun lately thinking back to my teen years and trying to workout how my fetish played into my views and has effected my life. I'm not proud of my fetish, I wish I didn't have it, but the fact is a lot of my life has been effected by it. But I can't pull it away from sexuality the two fundamentally joined (I guess that's how sexuals must feel about relationships and sex??) It does feel like an obsession though, which is why I don't like it when people talk like I'm not sexual (or even say sexuals like I did earlier to refer to non-asexuals) it irks me, I am very preoccupied with sex...it just means something very different to me....

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basilisk

As good a place as any for a first post.

Oh man, I sure am glad to see others with fetishes who identify on the ace spectrum. My fetish was what kept me from identifying as ace for a long time. I figured since I experienced sexual arousal from my fetish, I couldn't be ace. Glad to know better now!

spoidersquiggle, it's so, so awesome to see how proud and accepting you are of your fetish! I've struggled with shame over mine throughout my teenage years and have only in the past couple years taken huge strides toward being accepting of it and even proud of it. Even when I was most ashamed of it, though, I never wanted it gone - it's such an inextricable part of my internal identity. You really hit the nail on the head for me with what you said about it going beyond just arousal - the fascination, excitement, and even aesthetic beauty we can find in our fetishes, and that ineffable emotion they can induce.

For the curious, I'm a vorarephile. It's been with me my whole life, found out there was a word for it when I was fourteen (nearly twenty now). If you don't know what vorarephilia is, it's the attraction to the idea of eating another living thing, being eaten by another living thing, or observing this happening - hence the 'vore' root, i.e., to eat - as in carnivore, herbivore, etcetera. There is a lot of variety within this fetish and it sometimes gets a bad rap, especially when people try to tie it to real-life cannibal cases, which is NOT what this fetish is AT ALL for the vast, vast majority of people. Orbiting this paraphilia, which is essentially my entire sexuality, are kinks for related content like stuffing, weight gain, feedism - eating being the uniting factor in all of them.

A whole new take on that Discovery Channel song. :-)

Haha, what do you mean? (Don't think I know which song you're referring to.)

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dash

As good a place as any for a first post.

Oh man, I sure am glad to see others with fetishes who identify on the ace spectrum. My fetish was what kept me from identifying as ace for a long time. I figured since I experienced sexual arousal from my fetish, I couldn't be ace. Glad to know better now!

spoidersquiggle, it's so, so awesome to see how proud and accepting you are of your fetish! I've struggled with shame over mine throughout my teenage years and have only in the past couple years taken huge strides toward being accepting of it and even proud of it. Even when I was most ashamed of it, though, I never wanted it gone - it's such an inextricable part of my internal identity. You really hit the nail on the head for me with what you said about it going beyond just arousal - the fascination, excitement, and even aesthetic beauty we can find in our fetishes, and that ineffable emotion they can induce.

For the curious, I'm a vorarephile. It's been with me my whole life, found out there was a word for it when I was fourteen (nearly twenty now). If you don't know what vorarephilia is, it's the attraction to the idea of eating another living thing, being eaten by another living thing, or observing this happening - hence the 'vore' root, i.e., to eat - as in carnivore, herbivore, etcetera. There is a lot of variety within this fetish and it sometimes gets a bad rap, especially when people try to tie it to real-life cannibal cases, which is NOT what this fetish is AT ALL for the vast, vast majority of people. Orbiting this paraphilia, which is essentially my entire sexuality, are kinks for related content like stuffing, weight gain, feedism - eating being the uniting factor in all of them.

A whole new take on that Discovery Channel song. :-)

Haha, what do you mean? (Don't think I know which song you're referring to.)

It's the chorus to this song: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/bloodhoundgang/thebadtouch.html

Animals eat each other WAY more often than they have sex on the Discovery Channel.

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basilisk

As good a place as any for a first post.

Oh man, I sure am glad to see others with fetishes who identify on the ace spectrum. My fetish was what kept me from identifying as ace for a long time. I figured since I experienced sexual arousal from my fetish, I couldn't be ace. Glad to know better now!

spoidersquiggle, it's so, so awesome to see how proud and accepting you are of your fetish! I've struggled with shame over mine throughout my teenage years and have only in the past couple years taken huge strides toward being accepting of it and even proud of it. Even when I was most ashamed of it, though, I never wanted it gone - it's such an inextricable part of my internal identity. You really hit the nail on the head for me with what you said about it going beyond just arousal - the fascination, excitement, and even aesthetic beauty we can find in our fetishes, and that ineffable emotion they can induce.

For the curious, I'm a vorarephile. It's been with me my whole life, found out there was a word for it when I was fourteen (nearly twenty now). If you don't know what vorarephilia is, it's the attraction to the idea of eating another living thing, being eaten by another living thing, or observing this happening - hence the 'vore' root, i.e., to eat - as in carnivore, herbivore, etcetera. There is a lot of variety within this fetish and it sometimes gets a bad rap, especially when people try to tie it to real-life cannibal cases, which is NOT what this fetish is AT ALL for the vast, vast majority of people. Orbiting this paraphilia, which is essentially my entire sexuality, are kinks for related content like stuffing, weight gain, feedism - eating being the uniting factor in all of them.

A whole new take on that Discovery Channel song. :-)

Haha, what do you mean? (Don't think I know which song you're referring to.)

It's the chorus to this song: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/bloodhoundgang/thebadtouch.html

Animals eat each other WAY more often than they have sex on the Discovery Channel.

Ahaha, okay, I thought that might be the song you meant. Well, yes, with that interpretation, doing it "like they do on the Discovery Channel" is definitely more my kind of "doing it." ;)

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Kanenas

If it's okay to ask here - All this time, I heard people say "It's been my fetish for as long as I can remember", I get that. I like girls aesthetically and romantically for as long as I remember! While recently, I started seeing posts from people who say they have been into something after accidentally stumbling upon it - walked in on someone, found something on the internet, were shown something by somebody else, etc. And some even said they adapted their fetish or kink. Previously, I thought it was insulting if someone claimed that? Man, I am too vanilla to be vanilla. I am sick and tired of unqualified "trained" professionals pretending to understand sexuality and people running their mouth. And I never got any interesting answers from sexual fetishists and thought it would be much better to ask you bunch. I hope this won't offend anybody, it's just sincere curiosity. How do you guys think of your fetishes? As innate, as preferred, as forced, as learned?

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integralx

for me it's definitely innate. The first time I can recall imagining something fetish-y is probably around age 9-10 (though of course I had no idea what it was back then, I didn't really explore it before age 15). I can't imagine myself either discovering a new fetish or getting rid of the one I have, and I've actually tried to at some points in my life (albeit not for very long). Maybe some people are more fluid or whatever but that's how it is for me.

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basilisk

If it's okay to ask here - All this time, I heard people say "It's been my fetish for as long as I can remember", I get that. I like girls aesthetically and romantically for as long as I remember! While recently, I started seeing posts from people who say they have been into something after accidentally stumbling upon it - walked in on someone, found something on the internet, were shown something by somebody else, etc. And some even said they adapted their fetish or kink. Previously, I thought it was insulting if someone claimed that? Man, I am too vanilla to be vanilla. I am sick and tired of unqualified "trained" professionals pretending to understand sexuality and people running their mouth. And I never got any interesting answers from sexual fetishists and thought it would be much better to ask you bunch. I hope this won't offend anybody, it's just sincere curiosity. How do you guys think of your fetishes? As innate, as preferred, as forced, as learned?

I think that sometimes mild kinks can be formed / cultivated / discovered or what have you - based on what I've heard and seen from other people, though I've never experienced it that way myself - but fetishes are innate. (Innate being a bit of a dicey term here, since no one really knows whether they are genetic, formed by imprinting at a very early age, or something else entirely, but they are definitely present from very, very early in life.) Personally I can remember experiencing both pleasure and embarrassment over games I privately played with my toys wherein I made them eat one another at the age of five and younger. Preferences, I think, can certainly evolve, often based on things we see - finding something on the Internet, being shown something, seeing something on TV, etcetera, like you said. I think these experiences can engender new fantasies / scenarios within the existing fetish, but I certainly don't think they can create a new fetish altogether. Sexuality can be fluid, but I personally don't think it can be quite that fluid. I also think that fetishists' sexuality is often a bit more fixed than that of the average non-fetishist person, but that's just my opinion.

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Sage Raven Domino

I believe my fetishes are all 'forced' - come from a 'primary sensitising event' - childhood experience I remember clearly (i.e. an imprint) - and a bunch of 'secondary sensitising events' when I recalled the primary one and got additional imprints and fetishes as a result. It's like a chain reaction - when something reminds you strongly of one fetish, you might get another for anything that's present in this secondary situation.

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vervain

I've had my fetish since about the age of 5 or 6 and fantasies on this theme are more or less the only thing which can get me physically aroused. I have no idea what set it off, no memory of an event that could have caused it. So if there was an imprint, it happened very early, and I'm certain sure this is a fetish rather than a kink.

I do think it is not a coincidence that my fetish concerns something which is particularly taboo in my own family (having caused some problems in the past, including for me) and which revulses me in real life. It is awkward and very embarrassing to find so much pleasure in something so distasteful.

I would really prefer to have a fetish about something innocent like sneezing. But I can live with the one I have, which is just as well really as I doubt it can be got rid of.

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Schrecken

I'd say that my major fetishes are learned and forced. I'm 100% sure that one of them developed out of sexual abuse I suffered as a child, and the other I know came from some media I was exposed to as a child. I have a couple of minor ones (bondage is one, being dominated is another) that I have no idea where they came from, if anything, probably something I saw or heard about as a child, but if so I don't remember it. I can live with most of them, even though some are rather embarrassing to mention because they are well outside of the vanilla realm. The one that comes from being abused is the one I hate - I swear if there was some kind of brain surgery that would completely remove that from my mind I'd be the first in line for it, even if I risked losing memories that I wanted to keep. The only good thing is that I with someone now who not only understands all of my fetishes, but he also shares most of them (but ironically not the bondage) and I don't have to fear being thought of as a nut case when I'm around him.

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Kanenas

That's all very interesting to hear I really was under the impression that most would take offense at the notion of their fetish not being innate.

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Worry! At the Theatre

I have no fetishes. I used to have fetishes but whenever I get asked these days I just make something up just so I seem like a normal person.

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dash

I don't like it when people talk like I'm not sexual (or even say sexuals like I did earlier to refer to non-asexuals) it irks me, I am very preoccupied with sex...it just means something very different to me....

I'm not preoccupied by sex by a long-shot, but this resonates with me for other reasons. I'm under the ace umbrella because I experience sexual attraction very rarely, and I'm sex-repulsed when it comes to body-based sex stuff (genital contact, penetration, just not enough NO in the world to cover all the no there). It's not even that I'm by default capable of consenting to that and I'm not, it's quite literally that there is no part of me that is capable of consenting to that on any level.

But I do have sexual desire, and do on occasion experience sexual attraction, it's just for me, it means something very different. There is nothing whatsoever about sexuality for me that involves genitals or objects (commonly referred to as "toys" but that's another matter) or physical sex interactions (either my doing these things or others doing them). It's totally orthogonal.

I'm not even a fetishist. I just don't fit in anywhere. :(

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Ziggy_G

I don't like it when people talk like I'm not sexual (or even say sexuals like I did earlier to refer to non-asexuals) it irks me, I am very preoccupied with sex...it just means something very different to me....

I'm not preoccupied by sex by a long-shot, but this resonates with me for other reasons. I'm under the ace umbrella because I experience sexual attraction very rarely, and I'm sex-repulsed when it comes to body-based sex stuff (genital contact, penetration, just not enough NO in the world to cover all the no there). It's not even that I'm by default capable of consenting to that and I'm not, it's quite literally that there is no part of me that is capable of consenting to that on any level.

But I do have sexual desire, and do on occasion experience sexual attraction, it's just for me, it means something very different. There is nothing whatsoever about sexuality for me that involves genitals or objects (commonly referred to as "toys" but that's another matter) or physical sex interactions (either my doing these things or others doing them). It's totally orthogonal.

I'm not even a fetishist. I just don't fit in anywhere. :(

This is me 100%. Sexuals seem not to understand this though :(

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Copper

I think this is more a curiosity or maybe even a kink. But I've always been kind of attracted to the idea of being tied up. I've never actually experienced it, but it is something I've fantasized over. I think it might be the idea of someone taking the control from me for a bit, as I typically have a need to be in control of everything I personally do.

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everbreath

Man, I don't even remember a time before my fetishes. Every since I can remember I was obsessed with characters getting tied up or restrained, and once I turned about ten or so I started to notice a physical reaction to it - namely, arousal - that was immensely confusing, since I didn't recognize it as arousal for another year or so. I knew what arousal was, but I didn't even think to connect it to what I was feeling because this is not what people were supposed to be aroused by.

I'm still having trouble with identifying as ace with these paraphilias, and I still don't know if it's the identity for me.. One reason, part of it is directed. Only certain people with specific appearances and even more specific personalities can cut it for me. (And it sort of feels like attraction? It's how I've always defined it anyways: a person who I'd get aroused by if I imagined them in a specific environment and dynamic. There's no sex involved whatsoever, nor any desire for "action" , and I honestly have yet to experience it towards real people. But it's something, and I don't know what it is if not attraction.)

With these people, it only exists inside of fantasies and I'm not even in these fantasies myself, because my tiny female self can't evoke the same power imbalances. So, I have no desire to participate or watch any of these situations in real life.

And while I do like fantasizing about these situations where certain characters are put into helpless, vulnerable situations, I have desire to have it happen to me in real life. (consensually, and in the context of a scene.) I also fantasize about myself being put into helpless, vulnerable situations, but in this case the second party is just a faceless, irrelevant person. Once again, this is totally non sexual.

So on one side of a coin I've got a directed arousal towards certain people in certain nonsexual situations with no real-life component, and on the other I have a nondirected arousal at specific nonsexual situations with a real life component. So, I don't know if that "counts" as being ace, or whatever.

I'm not aroused or into the idea of actual sex whatsoever. Genitals do nothing for me. Honestly, I feel like if I ever made out with someone it would be the most uncomfortably awkward situation ever, because I wouldn't have any idea or inherent feeling of what to do? Just keep mackin' until... when? People always talk about "not being able to keep their hands off one another" and its just why. why not.

I totally feel you on the point about how it's like an obsession. Even without the sexual side affects, I love exploring power dynamics, helplessness, and the breaking down of characters. It's fascinating.

My life would be so, so much simpler without this paraphilia (I prefer paraphilia to fetish, because fetish is generally defined as an attraction towards an object, and paraphilia is just a non'standard' subject of sexual interest. I don't really know, though. I'm not a linguist.) I honestly wish it didn't exist. :/ It makes talking about sex immensely uncomfortable, and not only do I have to hide the fact I'm being turned on when someone on TV is being beat up (thank god I don't have a penis), watching aesthetically-repulsive people put into helpless/vulnerable situations gives me the same squicky reaction as I'd imagine allos have towards watching two gross old grandpas have filthy sex.

Anyways. Thus concludes sharing time from your friendly neighborhood quasi-sadomasochistic fetishist maybe-ace. Carry on.

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dash

I don't like it when people talk like I'm not sexual (or even say sexuals like I did earlier to refer to non-asexuals) it irks me, I am very preoccupied with sex...it just means something very different to me....

I'm not preoccupied by sex by a long-shot, but this resonates with me for other reasons. I'm under the ace umbrella because I experience sexual attraction very rarely, and I'm sex-repulsed when it comes to body-based sex stuff (genital contact, penetration, just not enough NO in the world to cover all the no there). It's not even that I'm by default capable of consenting to that and I'm not, it's quite literally that there is no part of me that is capable of consenting to that on any level.

But I do have sexual desire, and do on occasion experience sexual attraction, it's just for me, it means something very different. There is nothing whatsoever about sexuality for me that involves genitals or objects (commonly referred to as "toys" but that's another matter) or physical sex interactions (either my doing these things or others doing them). It's totally orthogonal.

I'm not even a fetishist. I just don't fit in anywhere. :(

This is me 100%. Sexuals seem not to understand this though :(

Off topic but this is my beef with asexuality defined for everybody as "not inherently desiring partnered sex" because no. For some of us, sex means something entirely different, and then where do we fit in? Oh and I also take issue with sex repulsion being defined around the repulsion aspect -- because there are people who are not "repulsed" by sex at all -- seeing it, hearing about it, even watching or reading porn -- but who still are not capable of consent to it on any level (even if they find it fascinating!).

The deeper issue IMO is the never-challenged assumption that all adults are actually CAPABLE OF CONSENTING to sex, by virtue of having reached a certain age. But no. I am no more capable of consenting to that kind of thing than when I was a small child, and whatever thing is supposed to flip in people's heads that makes them capable of consenting (and in most cases, also want it) did not happen for me. I am not choosing to say no because I do not want it. This isn't a choice, on any level, in any way. I have made the somewhat graphic comparison that I am no more able to consent to those things than I am to stabbing myself in the abdomen (for fun! out of love!). Yes I am "repulsed" by sex on some level but I'm also repulsed at the idea that I must be somehow deep down "able to consent" even though I am choosing to say no. I lack that setting, physically, mentally, and in every other way. "Sex" for me just plain doesn't work this way.

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Schrecken

Man, I don't even remember a time before my fetishes. Every since I can remember I was obsessed with characters getting tied up or restrained, and once I turned about ten or so I started to notice a physical reaction to it - namely, arousal - that was immensely confusing, since I didn't recognize it as arousal for another year or so. I knew what arousal was, but I didn't even think to connect it to what I was feeling because this is not what people were supposed to be aroused by.

I'm still having trouble with identifying as ace with these paraphilias, and I still don't know if it's the identity for me.. One reason, part of it is directed. Only certain people with specific appearances and even more specific personalities can cut it for me. (And it sort of feels like attraction? It's how I've always defined it anyways: a person who I'd get aroused by if I imagined them in a specific environment and dynamic. There's no sex involved whatsoever, nor any desire for "action" , and I honestly have yet to experience it towards real people. But it's something, and I don't know what it is if not attraction.)

With these people, it only exists inside of fantasies and I'm not even in these fantasies myself, because my tiny female self can't evoke the same power imbalances. So, I have no desire to participate or watch any of these situations in real life.

And while I do like fantasizing about these situations where certain characters are put into helpless, vulnerable situations, I have desire to have it happen to me in real life. (consensually, and in the context of a scene.) I also fantasize about myself being put into helpless, vulnerable situations, but in this case the second party is just a faceless, irrelevant person. Once again, this is totally non sexual.

So on one side of a coin I've got a directed arousal towards certain people in certain nonsexual situations with no real-life component, and on the other I have a nondirected arousal at specific nonsexual situations with a real life component. So, I don't know if that "counts" as being ace, or whatever.

I'm not aroused or into the idea of actual sex whatsoever. Genitals do nothing for me. Honestly, I feel like if I ever made out with someone it would be the most uncomfortably awkward situation ever, because I wouldn't have any idea or inherent feeling of what to do? Just keep mackin' until... when? People always talk about "not being able to keep their hands off one another" and its just why. why not.

I totally feel you on the point about how it's like an obsession. Even without the sexual side affects, I love exploring power dynamics, helplessness, and the breaking down of characters. It's fascinating.

My life would be so, so much simpler without this paraphilia (I prefer paraphilia to fetish, because fetish is generally defined as an attraction towards an object, and paraphilia is just a non'standard' subject of sexual interest. I don't really know, though. I'm not a linguist.) I honestly wish it didn't exist. :/ It makes talking about sex immensely uncomfortable, and not only do I have to hide the fact I'm being turned on when someone on TV is being beat up (thank god I don't have a penis), watching aesthetically-repulsive people put into helpless/vulnerable situations gives me the same squicky reaction as I'd imagine allos have towards watching two gross old grandpas have filthy sex.

Anyways. Thus concludes sharing time from your friendly neighborhood quasi-sadomasochistic fetishist maybe-ace. Carry on.

You're not alone as far as having little or no interest in actual sexual intercourse, especially when it comes to fantasies and kinks. I am not averse to having sex IRL (especially since I am in a relationship with a sexual, and, well, sexuals tend to like sex) but I have no arousal or desire associated with it in and of itself. For me the perfect masturbatory fantasy would include my own fetishes and kinks (most have nothing at all to do with gentials, though a couple of them do involve areas that would normally be covered by one's underwear) and no sexual acts at all (genital to genital or mouth to genital).

Growing up it was really tough for me to try and understand myself because it seemed like everyone else craved actual sex, while there I was making my kinks the centerpiece of my libidinous release. This caused me a lot of confusion - I liked guys, but I had absolutely no interest in their penises. So there are those of us who have no interest in genitals or genital to genital contact, either in fantasy or reality.

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Bad_Mr_Tree

Some fetishes of mine are:



- female possession


- anything to female transformation


- a woman taking off a coat or jacket with buttons



:)


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Starbogen

So then, can something still be a fetish even if you don't particularly want it/need it in a sexual context? Because ever since I was a kid, like 6 or 7, I knew that for some reason I really liked it when characters I liked in shows and movies got hurt or sick in some way... I even got this weird pleasant sensation, which I later learned was arousal, but at the moment I was just really confused as to why I would enjoy it when my favorite character got hurt. Every time it happened instead of being worried that was pushed to the back of my mind and at the front was just a sort of "omg yes!" excitement. And I still have that reaction, except that now I get way more noticeably aroused than before.

Sometimes I like pain and hurt in actual sexual situations between characters (these are fantasies in which I'm never present or involved) but mostly I'm more into it when it's on it's own without the sex, and prefer to imagine that separately. I also love it when there's someone else there with the hurt person to comfort them (hence my love for h/c fanfiction, but the love for this came before I found fanfiction). I'm always attracted to the one who's hurt and always prefer to see things from the point of view of the one who's helping. Even though in real life I'm a wuss for pain and sickness and I wouldn't want to see a loved one in any kind of pain so I wouldn't want to actually be in either position, plus the fact that it's just not really related to sex for me. It's just a situation that makes me aroused and I've never known why, and I had never really thought about it as a fetish before reading this thread but now I don't know.. I just know that for the longest time I've found pain and hurt and sickness and vulnerability and all that strangely arousing in fictional situations, and I've enjoyed and actively sought out more of it.

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Neu

I seem to like the idea of body parts being covered up. In animations I watched as a kid, I liked characters that had something to cover up their faces completely/partially (a mask, headband, emo hair or even blindfolds), or characters that had bandages wrapped around their arms/legs. I don't think I found them sexual as a kid but I knew I 'liked' the way that things would cover up body parts.

Thing is for me, what covers up the parts can really be anything, whether it's related to a common fetish or not. Like I know handcuffs, blood or blindfolds are BDSM-related (though blood maybe more hemophilia/pain-philia), but I also like things that are more mild (?) like people's hair or headband covering facial parts.

I think a lot of it is to do with my scopophobia (fear of being stared at/being centre of attention) - That would explain why I want eyes covered up by something. Though saying that, even if I want genitals to be covered up because I'm genital-repulsed, things that cover them up don't bring out a sense of 'like' as it does with other parts being hidden. In conclusion, I have no name or explanation for what I may have.

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pinkroses

I REALLY like when people pet my hair... :redface:

me too . or a scalp massage or getting my hair brushed. i dont know if i like it as much as you . but one time some one a friend brushed my hair to fix it up for me and it felt so good and relaxing i wanted to nap but at the same time i didnt because it felt good.

In my experience with fetishes, its kinda hard to say if everyone has one. I can't imagine that they would. A fetish such as I experience is an all-around obsession, fascination, fixation, which is mental, emotional, and in my case also sexual. It's pretty much awesome. Though having a fetish (especially one as non-conventional as sneezing) has caused me lots of confusion, embarrassment and alienation, its also granted me great joy and excitement. I love my fetish! Sneezing's pretty much the best! I love germs! Hooray! (I pretty much have an entire deviantart devoted to drawings around sneezing and sickness).

My fetish didn't evolve gradually. It's always been there with me, I just became more aware of it and less afraid of it as I grew up.

I don't judge other's fetishes, because, as it was in my case, I didn't 'choose' to have one. It was always there, just as I didn't 'choose' to be asexual. If someone is a coprophiliac, I don't judge. If someone's a hemophiliac, I don't judge (and I kinda understand cuz blood's really pretty as is pain). If someone's a podophiliac, emetophiliac, acrotomophiliac, asphixiophiliac, or vorarephiliac I have no judgement, only interest and a sense of kinship.

i dont know what all those phillias mean

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pinkroses

As good a place as any for a first post.

Oh man, I sure am glad to see others with fetishes who identify on the ace spectrum. My fetish was what kept me from identifying as ace for a long time. I figured since I experienced sexual arousal from my fetish, I couldn't be ace. Glad to know better now!

spoidersquiggle, it's so, so awesome to see how proud and accepting you are of your fetish! I've struggled with shame over mine throughout my teenage years and have only in the past couple years taken huge strides toward being accepting of it and even proud of it. Even when I was most ashamed of it, though, I never wanted it gone - it's such an inextricable part of my internal identity. You really hit the nail on the head for me with what you said about it going beyond just arousal - the fascination, excitement, and even aesthetic beauty we can find in our fetishes, and that ineffable emotion they can induce.

For the curious, I'm a vorarephile. It's been with me my whole life, found out there was a word for it when I was fourteen (nearly twenty now). If you don't know what vorarephilia is, it's the attraction to the idea of eating another living thing, being eaten by another living thing, or observing this happening - hence the 'vore' root, i.e., to eat - as in carnivore, herbivore, etcetera. There is a lot of variety within this fetish and it sometimes gets a bad rap, especially when people try to tie it to real-life cannibal cases, which is NOT what this fetish is AT ALL for the vast, vast majority of people. Orbiting this paraphilia, which is essentially my entire sexuality, are kinks for related content like stuffing, weight gain, feedism - eating being the uniting factor in all of them.

A whole new take on that Discovery Channel song. :-)

why ? O.o

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pinkroses

i like blushing but a little embaressed not to the point of really uncomfortable . and i like to dominate. i cant remember any others right now.


I've also got a few, though perhaps they aren't as anywhere near as uncommon as the OP's. However, they have still filled me with a sense of anxiety all of my life that I'm some kind of perverted weirdo. I also felt isolated as a teen as well, since it seemed that no one else had fantasies about being tied up and physically (and sometimes quasi-sexually) assaulted. All the other girls my age appeared to be thinking only of having sex with boys, and here I was thinking of things far different than sex when I had a crush on someone.

I worked hard all my life to repress my "interests", but they kept coming back again and again like a bad case of heart burn. So not long ago I gave up and decided to get into this stuff in real life, and so I participate in BDSM stuff - bondage, impact play, etc.

what is impact play ?

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dash

As good a place as any for a first post.

Oh man, I sure am glad to see others with fetishes who identify on the ace spectrum. My fetish was what kept me from identifying as ace for a long time. I figured since I experienced sexual arousal from my fetish, I couldn't be ace. Glad to know better now!

spoidersquiggle, it's so, so awesome to see how proud and accepting you are of your fetish! I've struggled with shame over mine throughout my teenage years and have only in the past couple years taken huge strides toward being accepting of it and even proud of it. Even when I was most ashamed of it, though, I never wanted it gone - it's such an inextricable part of my internal identity. You really hit the nail on the head for me with what you said about it going beyond just arousal - the fascination, excitement, and even aesthetic beauty we can find in our fetishes, and that ineffable emotion they can induce.

For the curious, I'm a vorarephile. It's been with me my whole life, found out there was a word for it when I was fourteen (nearly twenty now). If you don't know what vorarephilia is, it's the attraction to the idea of eating another living thing, being eaten by another living thing, or observing this happening - hence the 'vore' root, i.e., to eat - as in carnivore, herbivore, etcetera. There is a lot of variety within this fetish and it sometimes gets a bad rap, especially when people try to tie it to real-life cannibal cases, which is NOT what this fetish is AT ALL for the vast, vast majority of people. Orbiting this paraphilia, which is essentially my entire sexuality, are kinks for related content like stuffing, weight gain, feedism - eating being the uniting factor in all of them.

A whole new take on that Discovery Channel song. :-)

why ? O.o

Because as I said above, the song is supposed to be all about sex. But animals actually eat each other way more often on the Discovery Channel than they have sex.

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Schrecken

i like blushing but a little embaressed not to the point of really uncomfortable . and i like to dominate. i cant remember any others right now.

I've also got a few, though perhaps they aren't as anywhere near as uncommon as the OP's. However, they have still filled me with a sense of anxiety all of my life that I'm some kind of perverted weirdo. I also felt isolated as a teen as well, since it seemed that no one else had fantasies about being tied up and physically (and sometimes quasi-sexually) assaulted. All the other girls my age appeared to be thinking only of having sex with boys, and here I was thinking of things far different than sex when I had a crush on someone.

I worked hard all my life to repress my "interests", but they kept coming back again and again like a bad case of heart burn. So not long ago I gave up and decided to get into this stuff in real life, and so I participate in BDSM stuff - bondage, impact play, etc.

what is impact play ?

That covers pretty much any kind of BDSM play where one person is striking another with an object (whips, canes, floggers, etc) or a part of their body (hand, fist, foot, etc).

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basilisk

I REALLY like when people pet my hair... :redface:

me too . or a scalp massage or getting my hair brushed. i dont know if i like it as much as you . but one time some one a friend brushed my hair to fix it up for me and it felt so good and relaxing i wanted to nap but at the same time i didnt because it felt good.

In my experience with fetishes, its kinda hard to say if everyone has one. I can't imagine that they would. A fetish such as I experience is an all-around obsession, fascination, fixation, which is mental, emotional, and in my case also sexual. It's pretty much awesome. Though having a fetish (especially one as non-conventional as sneezing) has caused me lots of confusion, embarrassment and alienation, its also granted me great joy and excitement. I love my fetish! Sneezing's pretty much the best! I love germs! Hooray! (I pretty much have an entire deviantart devoted to drawings around sneezing and sickness).

My fetish didn't evolve gradually. It's always been there with me, I just became more aware of it and less afraid of it as I grew up.

I don't judge other's fetishes, because, as it was in my case, I didn't 'choose' to have one. It was always there, just as I didn't 'choose' to be asexual. If someone is a coprophiliac, I don't judge. If someone's a hemophiliac, I don't judge (and I kinda understand cuz blood's really pretty as is pain). If someone's a podophiliac, emetophiliac, acrotomophiliac, asphixiophiliac, or vorarephiliac I have no judgement, only interest and a sense of kinship.

i dont know what all those phillias mean

In the order that they were mentioned in that post, those 'philias describe the attraction to:

Coprophilia - feces/excrement

Hemophilia - blood

Podophilia - feet

Emetophilia - vomit

Acrotomophilia - amputation / amputees

Asphixiophilia - suffocation / breath play

Vorarephilia - eating living things or being eaten

Hope that clears it up for you! The various paraphilias that exist can be very interesting to learn about.

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Gryphonchick

It appears I have found my people :D

I apologize in advance if my blathering starts to get off-topic, or if I go into too much detail about certain things. I've just never had an outlet where I can speak openly about this aspect of my sexuality before. Sorry if I get to excited.

My fetish is unusual and, from what I can tell, exceptionally uncommon. I haven't even found a proper term for it in the 4~ years I've been prowling Google for related content. I have a wind fetish. Specifically I love powerful winds--the stronger, the better--and watching people and objects get blown around. My favorite things to watch are people with long hair and loose clothing, as well as trees. Trees are great. The sound is also a massive component, and is often enough to get me aroused on its own. I do love the idea of being out in strong winds, but the only time it's windy where I live is when it's cold or raining. That ruins the fun. -___-

I've had this fetish for as long as I can remember, and I can't think of what triggered it. When I was very young, I remember having a dream that involved a tornado; that was the earliest thing. My favorite game growing up was always bringing out our big fan and playing with my Barbie dolls in front of it, and I brought wind into a lot of other imaginative games I played. In elementary school I found one book on meteorology in the school library, and whenever we had library time I would hide in one of the lesser-visited aisles and read over the Beaufort Scale over and over. I remember feeling deeply ashamed about it, but I didn't know why. I would always have trouble sleeping when it was windy outside. I used to think that my feelings about wind stemmed from a phobia, but I don't think that was it. Never went through the same pattern with spiders. Anyway, I don't remember the point when I figured out it was arousal, but the next thing I knew I was getting off to storm chaser videos.

Sex has never done the same things for me. I've tried watching regular porn, but it just made me feel numb. I haven't had too much experience with real sexual acts, but the amount that I've done hasn't gotten me turned on. In that way, I suppose I'm thankful for my fetish; it gives me an avenue into sexual pleasure that my sex-aversion would have denied me otherwise. At the same time though it makes me feel incredibly alienated, especially given its rarity. I managed to find one online community for it, and although it's tiny (an experience project page that gets maybe 1 post per month), at least I know I'm not completely alone. But it's hard to talk about sex with other people when your entire sexual identity is wrapped up in something that's socially unacceptable to discuss openly.

spoidersquiggle, what you said about fetishes encompassing more than just arousal is absolutely true for me. Mine comes bundled with a host of other emotions--fear, awe, anticipation, excitement, hunger, so on. There's nothing else in my life quite like it. I am fixated on the wind on multiple levels, to the point where I have trouble separating it from my core identity. I wish I was brave enough to create content like you do, but I'm still to embarrassed and afraid of people finding out. I can't even bring myself to store related files on my computer in fear of people discovering them.

On the topic of forcing yourself to develop fetishes, I'm not sure if it's possible, at least not when you're an adult. Kinks definitely, but fetishes feel too extreme to be manufactured willfully. I've actually been trying to get myself into macrophilia (I've always had an emotional fascination, and having a fetish that people actually produce content of would be nice), and so far results have been only mildly successful. I don't think it's ever going to stack up to my love of wind.

I have a question for the rest of you. Do you think that non-sexual "fetishes" could be a thing? I don't know what to call it, but it's when you've got all the obsession and fascination that goes into a fetish on the emotion and mental levels, but it doesn't cause arousal. I have this about a specific type of dominant/submissive relationship that I don't know a term for. I fantasize about it all the time, even more than I think about wind, to the point where I'll spend a whole hour laying in bed just thinking about it. It gives me a feeling that not many other things can emulate--mainly involving tightness in my chest, feeling like I'm about to cry, and a lot of sadistic pleasure--but no arousal whatsoever. Does anyone else have something like this?

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Frac

A lot of this sounds familiar, except I don't feel particularly obsessed with my fetish. It's just a random thing that happens to arouse me, really.

I've noticed that for quite a lot of people in ace fetishist threads, kinks are not sexual in nature, which made me wonder just how many acefets are like me and how many just have a nonsexual interest/obsession in some random thing. The latter group generally dislikes the common assertion that BDSM/such are automatically sexual in nature (because for them, it isn't), so I wondered if those who do have a sexual interest in their fetish should ID as something other than asexual (gray perhaps)? I'm comfortable with ace as a word to describe myself, due to the whole not liking sex and not being sexually attracted to people deal, though.

Edit. Gryphonchick: see above. A lot of aces in kink threads do say that their interest in BDSM and whatnot is nonsexual.

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