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Ace Fets... Shall we talk about fetishes?


spoidersquiggle

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spoidersquiggle

I'm a proud asexual fetishist, and I know I'm not the only peep with a fetish here on AVEN. :) I love learning about different fetishes and am curious to know what other people's fetishes are and how one functions with it. I'd like to point out (cuz I'm a stickler like this) that a 'fetish' is something that surrounds and encompasses someone's sexuality completely and usually becomes apparent at an early age. A 'kink' is a sexual 'interest'. It accompanies sexuality and is more of an accessory.

*aherm* So...

Admittedly, my fetish is a little unusual, but there is nothing (literally nothing) that's 'sexy' or 'arousing' to me at all aside from my fetish. I'm a mucophiliac. I'm sexually attracted to sneezing. :redface: The person doing the sneezing doesn't especially matter, its the sneeze itself (accompanied by the germs/irritant) that's sexy. I also enjoy mucus, sickness, fevers, noses in general, and other things that are associated with sneezing. I first remember realizing that something was up with me and sneezing around age 3 or 4. Watching cartoons with such events in them was... uncomfortable to say the least. For the longest time, I was terrified to admit to myself I had such a weird attraction to such a weird thing. I mean, while everyone else in highschool was talking about sex and dating and reading boy'on'boy fanfiction, I was secretly looking up clips of characters/audio recordings/people sneezing. Talk about shame and alienation lol. Nowadays, I am stoked on my fetish and get much enjoyment out of it. I draw lots of 'porn' for myself and for other sneeze fetishists also. And by 'porn', I mean drawing a character sneezing their brains out... Sometimes people ask me if I'd ever wanna try/ have ever tried having sneezy sex... and to that I'm not down. It'd be like taking a perfectly good mushroom quiche and adding a giant dollop of used motor oil right on top.

Well, fark. I just got real open right then. :blush:

I also know that fetishes can be a pretty vulnerable, intimate, sometimes embarrassing thing to discuss, so no pressure to share your particular fetish if y' don't want. I just find fetishes in general incredibly fascinating. Having one myself, I am intrigued by the idea of such a powerful attraction to something.

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Sage Raven Domino

You're not alone, but you've pointed it out right that

fetishes can be a pretty vulnerable, intimate, sometimes embarrassing thing to discuss

So I don't find my fetishes funny. The worst thing about them is that they routinely make me obsessed by random people who don't deserve it.

I'm not even looking for any fetish-specific 'porn' because my imagination is too playful on its own.

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I dislike talking about my fetishes because they're very commonly misunderstood ones. I guess it's better to be more open about them though.

I have algolagnia, the pain fetish, and also hematolagnia, the blood fetish. Both of these are strictly connected to knife play.

I'll just disappear now~

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Spectre/Ex/Machina

For me its BDSM and other power-play.

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Not to be inappropriate or anything, but I swear I just sneezed five times in a row before coming in here... One of my dogs is in the room, that's why.

I came in here to say that I genuinely wish to have a fetish. And maybe hearing some fetishes will give me some new ideas to try to think about.

Do you think everyone has a fetish? Or some do, and some don't? Can one develop a fetish gradually? How does that work?

And thanks for explaining the difference between a kink and a fetish. I was not aware of that.

It will be interesting to see more about this topic :)

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I think to some degree fetishes can be learned, and can be cultural. Though I imagine YMMV for individuals in that culture.

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I think to some degree fetishes can be learned, and can be cultural. Though I imagine YMMV for individuals in that culture.

YMMV? I don't know what that is.

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I think to some degree fetishes can be learned, and can be cultural. Though I imagine YMMV for individuals in that culture.

YMMV? I don't know what that is.

Your mileage may vary. :) Meaning individuals are still different even if the dominant culture fetishizes X.

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My fetishes make me feel more aware of my body. They don't give me sexual arousal when they're happening, but I think they make my autoerotic responses more intense when I get to them later, mainly because my whole body has been so activated. My fetishes include--but aren't limited to--bondage, blindfolding and darkness, stingy pain, cold, and blood. I love cold stone. Oooooh.

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Not to be inappropriate or anything, but I swear I just sneezed five times in a row before coming in here... One of my dogs is in the room, that's why.

I came in here to say that I genuinely wish to have a fetish. And maybe hearing some fetishes will give me some new ideas to try to think about.

Do you think everyone has a fetish? Or some do, and some don't? Can one develop a fetish gradually? How does that work?

And thanks for explaining the difference between a kink and a fetish. I was not aware of that.

It will be interesting to see more about this topic :)

I kinda, trained myself to fetishize various things, back before I understood that I was asexual. I needed to be normal, and subconsiously that caused me to cycle through fetishes trying to validate my assumed heteronormativity.

Some of the fetishes I cycled through, I still sort of react to these days, but each time it's a little less of a reaction than before.

But I don't really see that to reflect on other people's fetishes, it is only my personal story :)

Thanks for sharing :) I suppose that's sort of what I'm looking for: a little "normality".

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spoidersquiggle

In my experience with fetishes, its kinda hard to say if everyone has one. I can't imagine that they would. A fetish such as I experience is an all-around obsession, fascination, fixation, which is mental, emotional, and in my case also sexual. It's pretty much awesome. Though having a fetish (especially one as non-conventional as sneezing) has caused me lots of confusion, embarrassment and alienation, its also granted me great joy and excitement. I love my fetish! Sneezing's pretty much the best! I love germs! Hooray! (I pretty much have an entire deviantart devoted to drawings around sneezing and sickness).

My fetish didn't evolve gradually. It's always been there with me, I just became more aware of it and less afraid of it as I grew up.

I don't judge other's fetishes, because, as it was in my case, I didn't 'choose' to have one. It was always there, just as I didn't 'choose' to be asexual. If someone is a coprophiliac, I don't judge. If someone's a hemophiliac, I don't judge (and I kinda understand cuz blood's really pretty as is pain). If someone's a podophiliac, emetophiliac, acrotomophiliac, asphixiophiliac, or vorarephiliac I have no judgement, only interest and a sense of kinship.

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I have a pain and BDSM fetish :redface:

But if i actually got to do them in person i would probably be apologizing every five seconds, i don't like hurting people.

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A lot of fetishes seem to revolve around what can cause harm or something that could be seen by society as a whole as not acceptable/taboo... Is that the norm for a fetish? I don't have any I'm aware of myself. I'm just trying to understand more...

I just now also thought about fetishes and links to other interests... Such as between bdsm and horror movies for instance... Is there one? And does that link make a horror movie for instance a pseudo-sexual experience?

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A lot of fetishes seem to revolve around what can cause harm or something that could be seen by society as a whole as not acceptable/taboo... Is that the norm for a fetish? I don't have any I'm aware of myself. I'm just trying to understand more...

I just now also thought about fetishes and links to other interests... Such as between bdsm and horror movies for instance... Is there one? And does that link make a horror movie for instance a pseudo-sexual experience?

some people may be interested in the taboo nature of some fetishes and not necessarily the physical act itself but I guess it differs between different people so for example someone with a foot fetish may just find feet beautiful and want to look at them and someone else may be turned on more by the smells or a humiliation type of situation which would make it more taboo I guess

I know of a couple of movies that I can identify with certain fetishes and see myself in that characters shoes for that part of the film... but thinking about it even in horror movies I get scared by imagining myself in the victims shoes and that is not a fetish of mine, so I'm not sure if there is a link really

If I'm in a relationship I like my partners fetishes even if they do nothing for me the fact someone else likes them makes the fetish attractive to me... up to a point... it is not quite the same as my own fetishes though but is still attractive enough for me to make me want to experiment with the fetishes with my partner

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A lot of fetishes seem to revolve around what can cause harm or something that could be seen by society as a whole as not acceptable/taboo... Is that the norm for a fetish? I don't have any I'm aware of myself. I'm just trying to understand more...

I just now also thought about fetishes and links to other interests... Such as between bdsm and horror movies for instance... Is there one? And does that link make a horror movie for instance a pseudo-sexual experience?

Fetishes are by definition seen as weird by the society, but not necessarily taboo.

I do have some fetishes myself, but I'm not comfortable posting it directly out here... :ph34r:

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You know what... I like lingerie. Not because it's arousing, but it would give me a power-trip. Plus, I think it highlights the aesthetic attractiveness of oneself. Like, a frame on a piece of art. Fetish, or no?

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spoidersquiggle

You know what... I like lingerie. Not because it's arousing, but it would give me a power-trip. Plus, I think it highlights the aesthetic attractiveness of oneself. Like, a frame on a piece of art. Fetish, or no?

It perhaps could be an attraction or an affiliation or a kink. If you've been enthralled with lingerie from a young age or something of the like, if your liking to it borders on 'obsessive', or if it pretty much dominates your 'sexual identity', then it's probably a fetish. I've done a hunk of research on the subject of fetishes and it seems to me that fetishes take on a deeper meaning than something sexually enticing, or even something one has a great appreciation for.

In my experience, my fetish pretty much enthralls me. It sinks deeper than just 'turning me on'. Sure, when someone is struggling with a cold, I get ...feelings... but on top of that, I am overwhelmed with fascination of the concept of the germs infecting and multiplying and causing symptoms etc. Its adorable, exciting, beautiful and causes some emotion I can't even describe. Its like my heads gonna explode with awesome. I could say I like gas masks. In fact, I REALLY like gas masks. They really really intrigue me, however, they are not a fetish. I don't get the same overwhelming emotions and I don't get the frequent intrusive thoughts as I do with sneezing and sickness.

This being said, I really like how you defined lingerie as a frame on a piece of art. I can definitely agree with this :).

As with fetishes being 'taboo' because they focus around 'causing harm' to someone/thing, I don't think that's the case in all scenarios. I mean, take a look at the foot fetish. Feet generally don't hurt people. Take a look at the underwear fetish. Underwear isn't harming. I wouldn't necessarily count these as 'taboo' either, just unusual if they take on fetish characteristics. That being said, there are many fetishes that would be considered 'taboo' and do involve pain or discomfort of another. Personally, with a sneezing fetish, I get off to the uncomfortable vulnerable desperation irritation and weakness. Its the discomfort that really gets me. Is it causing others harm? Naw. Do I like the suffering aspect? Hell yeah I do. The more suffering, the better when it comes to my fetish.

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I've also got a few, though perhaps they aren't as anywhere near as uncommon as the OP's. However, they have still filled me with a sense of anxiety all of my life that I'm some kind of perverted weirdo. I also felt isolated as a teen as well, since it seemed that no one else had fantasies about being tied up and physically (and sometimes quasi-sexually) assaulted. All the other girls my age appeared to be thinking only of having sex with boys, and here I was thinking of things far different than sex when I had a crush on someone.

I worked hard all my life to repress my "interests", but they kept coming back again and again like a bad case of heart burn. So not long ago I gave up and decided to get into this stuff in real life, and so I participate in BDSM stuff - bondage, impact play, etc.

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Power-play. However, once it gets sexual, I get gone. I think. I lack any real world experience. Bye. (My capacity for proudness is in having fetishest attached to my orientation.)

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I've spent so much of my life hiding the fact that I have a fetish from people that I am not yet comfortable talking about the details, even here with y'all. I will say I do have one, and that is why for the longest time I never considered that I might be asexual.

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Ok, so I don't think I've ever actually admitted this - except for writing a couple of stories, which are anon - but I have a fetish for incapacitation. Usually it takes the form of stuffing/inflation pics on deviantArt. It's all fantasy since I don't think I could do anything like that in real life and in those fantasies, it's never me, but... yeah. It's been with me my whole life as well. I didn't even realise that that was what this is until a few years back when I accidentally stumbled across some art of it.

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WhenSummersGone

I like dominance but that's pretty common I think. I seem to be attracted to male hands more than anything else. Also I really enjoy different locations to do stuff at. Any new place is arousing to me.

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I expect there is a small element of OCD to fetishes as well. My fetish is certainly an obsession. (Diagnosed) OCD also contributes a tiny bit to my food phobia.

My fetish is in the minority (adult diapers); from time to time I do wish I had a more normal one.

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As good a place as any for a first post.

Oh man, I sure am glad to see others with fetishes who identify on the ace spectrum. My fetish was what kept me from identifying as ace for a long time. I figured since I experienced sexual arousal from my fetish, I couldn't be ace. Glad to know better now!

spoidersquiggle, it's so, so awesome to see how proud and accepting you are of your fetish! I've struggled with shame over mine throughout my teenage years and have only in the past couple years taken huge strides toward being accepting of it and even proud of it. Even when I was most ashamed of it, though, I never wanted it gone - it's such an inextricable part of my internal identity. You really hit the nail on the head for me with what you said about it going beyond just arousal - the fascination, excitement, and even aesthetic beauty we can find in our fetishes, and that ineffable emotion they can induce.

For the curious, I'm a vorarephile. It's been with me my whole life, found out there was a word for it when I was fourteen (nearly twenty now). If you don't know what vorarephilia is, it's the attraction to the idea of eating another living thing, being eaten by another living thing, or observing this happening - hence the 'vore' root, i.e., to eat - as in carnivore, herbivore, etcetera. There is a lot of variety within this fetish and it sometimes gets a bad rap, especially when people try to tie it to real-life cannibal cases, which is NOT what this fetish is AT ALL for the vast, vast majority of people. Orbiting this paraphilia, which is essentially my entire sexuality, are kinks for related content like stuffing, weight gain, feedism - eating being the uniting factor in all of them.

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Janus the Fox

Anything that involves Yiff for me though I'm no attracted to it, it nonetheless causes arousal. Plus im deeply involved in virtural furry and Yiff communities, often involving very casual sex, pet/master, submission/domination, polyamory and more ordainary romantic and virtural marriage, covering the entire sexual and gender spectrums, accross all animal types, including many Fetishes including Scat, Blood, Pain, Etc. Whatever it is, I've provided for in either Virtural or writer Roleplay, all or mostly designed to get people off.

Examples of roleplay I've been involved in already includes Scat, urine, rape, transformation, inflation, violent rape age play, being part of being owned as a pet, being a master, incest relationships, love triangles and more. In virtural communities I am a virtural male escort, managers of Yiff clubs and maintaining more real romantic and sexual relationships. My profile is a hint of what I do.

Despite all of this, I don't experience even arousal to the point of being able to orgasm, though the above is proof that what happens in real life and what happens in thought and fantasy don't correlate. I'm still asexual, despite this Pansexual Janus persona, as many even have more elaborate sexual online lifestyles than I do, but because when I break it down into real life, there's nothing that works, also this could even barely scratch the surface of other aces.

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I have an embarrassment fetish, specifically I'm turned on by the notion of a woman being embarrassed over being naked (I don't think there is a "philia"-name for this but it's usually called ENF). It's not a very well known fetish as far as I know but there are a few communities around like a thread on 4chan/e and some grounps/accounts on deviantArt, Most pictures are anime/drawings.There is also a lot of erotic fiction being written by various people.

I can definitely relate to OP's experiences with having a fetish, I have a "porn" collection which, admittedly, the regular pervert would classify as really soft-core (and wierd). I spent a lot of time being confused thanks to my sexuality, especially during the time in school when my guy friends started talking about masturbation and girls, I never really learned how to talk about pervy things. I identified that I have a fetish around age 15 (before that I didn't really do anything sexually) and found out about asexuality around age 19 after reading an article about it in a local newspaper. Nowadays I'm 21 years old and I'm enjoying my fetish a lot, and because it's so disconnected from the real world it rarely interferes with any part of my life (just wastes 30 minutes or so a couple of times a week). I've never felt the need to include anyone else in my, in lack of a better word, sexlife.

While poking around I've come across some other fetishes you might find interesting (I'm not into any of these myself): breast envy, diapers, wedgies, cow-girls, vorophelia and humiliation/shame. Some of these have been mentioned in this thread already.

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