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On the Popularity and Usefulness of the Black Ring


JaredSheep

Black Rings  

  1. 1. Do you wear a black ring

    • Yes, I do wear a black ring.
      62
    • No, I can't wear a black ring for a specific reason.
      25
    • No, I don't see the point, or simply don't want to.
      30
  2. 2. If you do, does it help you identify to other people you interact with as an asexual?

    • I have had people fully identify the symbolism without any assistance
      5
    • Many people understand the symbolism vaguely, but do not fully understand.
      2
    • Most people do not recognize it at all.
      56
    • People i don't know, asexual or not, have approached me to discuss or question it.
      3
    • N/A
      58
  3. 3. Overall, how helpful do you think black rings are to the asexual community.

    • Very helpful
      17
    • Helpful
      49
    • Doesn't matter
      47
    • Detrimental
      4
  4. 4. How helpful do you think a black ring is or would be to you personally?

    • Very helpful
      39
    • Helpful
      36
    • Doesn't matter
      36
    • Detrimental
      6

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So, I'm curious about how much of the asexual community uses, or acknowledges black rings. Then, if you do, how helpful or hurtful do you find it?

If you have any experiences you want to share involving them, please do so! I'm very interested to hear them. :)

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I don't wear the black ring although I respect the right of others to do so. I do not wear it because it is irrelevant to me personally. I don't need a ring to prove what I am.

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I don't own a black ring yet, but I would like to. The biggest reason I would is for myself personally; I consider asexuality a very important part of my identity and I really try to be a helpful member of the community, so always having a symbol of that on my person that is subtle enough that only I know what it means would do wonders for my confidence.

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I don't wear rings or jewellery in general, so I don't personally want a black ring. I think if people want to wear them, that's fine, but there are a lot of people out there who wear black rings and aren't asexual. For that reason, I would never assume someone is asexual just because they're wearing a black ring, and would be afraid of asking them about it. In that respect, I'm skeptical about how helpful it is in terms of visibility. I don't think it's detrimental, though.

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I've just started wearing one and not all the time anyway, I want to get a different ring that's more sturdy. Also I don't really expect (m)any people to mention or ask about it. I have rings I wear all the time and no one asks me about those either, so I'd be surprised if it even came up. ^_^ I'm mainly wearing one because I feel comfortable having it on me, it gives me a small sense of community and I like that too. So yeah, I'm mainly wearing it for myself.

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The Not So Impossible Girl

I like my black ring cuz it's plastic and not a cold metal of some sort.
But about people recognizing it as symbolizing asexuality.... Nobody has noticed it when I'm by myself. The only time people point the ring out is when I'm with a group of asexual people at my college and other members of that group are also wearing black rings. Then people either go, "Hey, what do those rings mean?", or understand exactly what they mean already.

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Nightmare-Cat

I wear a black ring, ok not many people understand what it means but it reminds me that there are other aces out there that are like me :)

Also I find it helpful at meet ups if you see someone wearing a black ring, follow them... but that's just me

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I like my black ring cuz it's plastic and not a cold metal of some sort.

unless you take the ring off regularly, it will be the same temperature as your hand so it won't be cold. mine is out of tungsten carbide and its impossible to tell if is has a different temperature to my hand.

I wear a ring as a nice reminder of the asexual community, but mostly because I like wearing it.

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Ok. From an older ace here is my take on it...I wear the ring all the time. It never comes off. And I am married to boot. My husband doesn't ask about it and that's fine. Now when I am out, I have noticed twice now two people (both female) who either gravitated toward me or had their heads snap around to do a double take when they saw the ring. This is a good thing.one of them lives and works in my home town so I know where to find her later. :) I live in a small town but occasionally go to bigger cities so I'm sure to run into more :) I purchased the ring from a website called oravo.com They sell titanium bands and they wear very well! I work with animals and do domestic work everyday and beat the crap out of my jewelry . I have been wearing this one for 3mths now and it still looks the same. Excellent quality.

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I used to wear one. I like jewellery, wore a lot of rings and so I put the two together. All the rings that I have/that I wore meant something to me on a personal, sometimes deep level and AVEN has effected me in such a way. I didn't wear it for a recognition purpose, it wasn't so someone could give me a knowing nod from across the street but I do like the fact that it brought together two passions of mine.

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I wear very little jewellery, but I always wear a black ring. I have a smooth haematite one for everyday, and a beautiful faceted ceramic one from a place where I spent a very difficult and also special period of my life. I have yet to meet someone else wearing one, or someone interested in mine. Because no-one recognises it for what it is (apart from a few close friends, who I told when I came out), it acts as a safe, discreet reminder that I am not alone and that, although there are many people I do not care (or in some cases dare) to tell, this part of my identity is real and important. I find it comforting.

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I wear a black ring. To me, it's not about helpfulness. Even though I hope it will one day be as commonly recognised as the rainbow flag, it is not the reason I wear one. I wear it because I like it as a means of expressing my identity. I wear it in exactly the same way as I wear my Doctor Who scarf. It shows who I am.

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I started wearing a black ring over the summer, and I think it's helped me a lot. I don't really do it because I expect to met other asexuals that way, I do it more as a reminder for myself. When I started wearing the ring i was still a bit shaky on accepting my asexuality, and I felt really alone. Wearing a black ring and knowing other aces were doing the same thing reminded me that I wasn't alone, that there's a whole community of people like me who were wearing a black ring as well. It's definitely been very helpful to me personally because it gave me acceptance and confidence.

So far, no one has asked me about my ring. I was kind of surprised because I very rarely wear jewelry, so suddenly wearing a black ring everyday was way out of character for me, but I don't think anyone's actually noticed. I'd like to think I'd out myself and explain the symbolism if someone asked, but like I said before, it's more of a personal symbol, not a way to declare my asexuality to the world.

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butterflydreams

If it's not clothes or a hat, I don't like to have it on my body. I don't think I've ever worn rings, and even wearing a wrist watch bothers me after a while (I also hate clocks).

That said, I do have a piece of flair (pin) on my work bag, and a static cling of the flag that I put on the window in my car. The primary reason I bother isn't to alert others (I seriously doubt anyone has noticed or cared, or would), but rather as a reminder to myself. I can pick up my bag to go to work and look at the button and be reminded that despite everything that's going on now, and everything that has happened in the past, I have a place.

No matter how much I beat my own self up for my vast array of sexual/relationship "shortcomings", there's a name for it. There are other people like me, and most importantly, I am ok.

I suppose if I wore a ring, it would be for the same reason.

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Mycroft is Yourcroft

I sometimes wear a black ring, especially if I'm going to a meetup, but I don't view it as essential :P

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Ricecream-man

I'm actually looking for a black on grey spinner ring right now. I know it'll take away from the Ace awareness but it just seems to fit me more, and the spinner is a good time killer for guys like me who can't keep still :P

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drjohnhwatson

I thought about getting a ring, but then I wondered if my parents might get curious as to why I suddenly wanted to wear jewellery and look it up. Or if other people I work with might look it up and then harass me about it. Unfortunately, I've been made paranoid because this happened to me when I was in high school and had a bag that had yaoi written on part of it. People looked it up, found out what it meant, and hassled me all through the halls about it, calling me a lesbian (???) and generally making my life unpleasant.

People aren't super-duper tolerant where I am but are crazy, over-the-top religious, and I figure they'd be much the same if they found out I was asexual. "Oh, that's not real!" "Oh, you just haven't had sex yet. You'll change your mind when you do! Let's find you a good man!" "Oh, you're just in a rebellious stage. You'll settle down!"

But I still want the ring anyway! Silly me.

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5_♦♣

No. Because even if I found a nickel free one, it'd only be a matter of time before it started bugging my finger.

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I wear one. I have a few rings that I like to wear for my ace prideness. : ) It feels weird not to wear one now. (I got my first one this past summer, and I never wore rings before!) No one ever notices it...if they do, they most likely don't think "omg, they're asexual" right off the bat lol. I find it helpful to me, though. It's comforting in a way...gives me self-confidence in who I am. It just feels right to me. It might not be helpful for everyone, but I love wearing mine. : )

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Ricecream-man

I thought about getting a ring, but then I wondered if my parents might get curious as to why I suddenly wanted to wear jewellery and look it up. Or if other people I work with might look it up and then harass me about it. Unfortunately, I've been made paranoid because this happened to me when I was in high school and had a bag that had yaoi written on part of it. People looked it up, found out what it meant, and hassled me all through the halls about it, calling me a lesbian (???) and generally making my life unpleasant.

People aren't super-duper tolerant where I am but are crazy, over-the-top religious, and I figure they'd be much the same if they found out I was asexual. "Oh, that's not real!" "Oh, you just haven't had sex yet. You'll change your mind when you do! Let's find you a good man!" "Oh, you're just in a rebellious stage. You'll settle down!"

But I still want the ring anyway! Silly me.

Oh dear, that just reminded me of some very awkward memories...

That's really weird that they'd call you lesbian over that though o_O

I say do it! Just say a friend got it for you or something :P

I mean a ring isn't too uncommon of a thing to have these days anyways

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drjohnhwatson

Oh dear, that just reminded me of some very awkward memories...

That's really weird that they'd call you lesbian over that though o_O

I say do it! Just say a friend got it for you or something :P

I mean a ring isn't too uncommon of a thing to have these days anyways

HAHA, yeah, I had some awkward times so I feel ya.

I'd pretty much have to but it's still a little weird as I don't wear jewellery except for a rather gaudy dragon ring back in middle school. :P. It seems a little obvious that there would have to be specific meaning behind it.

Plus my hands are in bleach water a lot at where I work and I'd worry about it stripping the ring. Still, you make a compelling point to just do it regardless. One only lives once, etc. and so forth, haha.

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Ricecream-man

Exactly! Although, don't let me peer pressure you into it. I'd feel terrible if I did...

I feel like titanium shouldn't corrode under the effects of bleach water but I'll have to look that up in order to be sure. Plus, I've seen some cheap ones going for under $40, although those don't state the grade so I can't guarantee anything.

Edit

Yup, just looked it up and there it was. Titanium should be good against most chemicals that won't burn through flesh. Don't quote me on that.

It might also be worth looking into getting a half-size larger than normal for these, just in case.

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I thought about getting a ring, but then I wondered if my parents might get curious as to why I suddenly wanted to wear jewellery and look it up. Or if other people I work with might look it up and then harass me about it. Unfortunately, I've been made paranoid because this happened to me when I was in high school and had a bag that had yaoi written on part of it. People looked it up, found out what it meant, and hassled me all through the halls about it, calling me a lesbian (???) and generally making my life unpleasant.

People aren't super-duper tolerant where I am but are crazy, over-the-top religious, and I figure they'd be much the same if they found out I was asexual. "Oh, that's not real!" "Oh, you just haven't had sex yet. You'll change your mind when you do! Let's find you a good man!" "Oh, you're just in a rebellious stage. You'll settle down!"

But I still want the ring anyway! Silly me.

I can kind of relate! I was hesitant about wearing a black ring at first, because while I wanted to wear it, I didnt want to accidently out myself to my parents. Because of this, I decided not to wear my ring when I'm at home or out with family members. Instead, I keep my rings in my car, and put them on after I've left the house. I night eventually work up the courage to wear a ring regularly in front of my parents, but for now it works for me. Maybe you could do something similar?
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a black ring is helpful to me as a person, as it helps to convey a sense of identity- long story! No-one I know outside the Ace community has any idea of the symbolism, so it's utility there is negligible

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I wear a black ring. Not because it's recognisable ('cause it's not), but I like rings (though I have trouble keeping myself from taking them off every other minute) and it somehow just feels good.

At this point the rings are not helpful for visibility, they are too unknown. They might help aces find each other, but as someone mentioned above - a lot of people wear black rings.

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drjohnhwatson

Exactly! Although, don't let me peer pressure you into it. I'd feel terrible if I did...

I feel like titanium shouldn't corrode under the effects of bleach water but I'll have to look that up in order to be sure. Plus, I've seen some cheap ones going for under $40, although those don't state the grade so I can't guarantee anything.

Edit

Yup, just looked it up and there it was. Titanium should be good against most chemicals that won't burn through flesh. Don't quote me on that.

It might also be worth looking into getting a half-size larger than normal for these, just in case.

I'll need to remember this, but I'm such a cheapo especially with jewellery as I don't really wear it so much. I thought there'd probably be something that would be able to withstand bleach and other such chemicals.

I can kind of relate! I was hesitant about wearing a black ring at first, because while I wanted to wear it, I didnt want to accidently out myself to my parents. Because of this, I decided not to wear my ring when I'm at home or out with family members. Instead, I keep my rings in my car, and put them on after I've left the house. I night eventually work up the courage to wear a ring regularly in front of my parents, but for now it works for me. Maybe you could do something similar?

I wondered if there would be more people like myself, worried about the inadvertent outing. :P. That's pretty smart, keeping it in different areas and wearing them when you feel safe to do so. I'm also worried about my co-workers being really snoopy about it. Good luck to you on working up the courage to wear it around your parents, though. :D.

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Can't wear jewelry due to sensitive skin, I even can't wear watches, necklaces, earrings or ankle stuff without irrating the skin.

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I like the black ring as my own quite symbolism. I wear it for my own personal meaning and no one else. I'm not using it as a beacon for other asexuals to notice or anything. I'm not exactly entirely active about searching out asexuals. I wear it for its own personal meaning. Although, the symbolism of the black ring does cause me confusion at times when I see other people wearing it as I have twice. At those times I find myself wondering if it's merely a coincidence of if the person is indeed asexual. The first time was a random patron at the restaurant I worked at. The second time was very recently, and it was my cousin whom I would find hard to believe to be asexual. So though it provides personal symbolism for me, I don't really see it as having much strength in symbolism to others.

Most of my symbolism is a private matter, though. I'm not big on shouting things to the world. I wore a purity ring for years but didn't make any show of it, though when people I asked, I answered. My tattoos with meaning to me are all hidden where no one would see them unless I was pretty much naked, though my normal tattoos that I'm getting next year are WAY out in the open. And so on.

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  • 1 year later...

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