AceInhibitor Posted December 5, 2014 Share Posted December 5, 2014 I saw a few on tumblr and I've kind of been dropping them into conversations with my friends, and I think they're kinda funny, so I thought I'd share and see if anyone else had any. Or y'know, any jokes/puns relating to anywhere on the ace or aro spectrums. (I didn't write these, but I wish I had)'My anaconda will consider it''My anaconda has, upon review of the information presented with it’s partners, decided that it, in fact, does not. My anaconda apologizes for any inconvenience this may cause and thanks you for your time.''Asexual pirates are not interested in your booty''If you're aromantic, you do not experience romantic attraction. If you're aromatic, you have a pleasant and distinctive smell' (I guess that's not an ace joke so much as an important distinction but it made me laugh)(I did the last one wrong originally because I wasn't paying attention. Fixed it now) Link to post Share on other sites
Potatwho Posted December 5, 2014 Share Posted December 5, 2014 What, you have an anaconda as a pet? Link to post Share on other sites
RK800 Posted December 5, 2014 Share Posted December 5, 2014 'My anaconda don't, my anaconda don't, my anaconda don't want none unless you're a cinnamon bun, hun.' Link to post Share on other sites
Jamesasaur Posted December 5, 2014 Share Posted December 5, 2014 'My anaconda don't, my anaconda don't, my anaconda don't want none unless you're a cinnamon bun, hun.' I love cinnamon buns. Link to post Share on other sites
SorryNotSorry Posted December 5, 2014 Share Posted December 5, 2014 Q: how can you pick out an asexual man in a nudist colony? A: it's not hard. Edit: damn, 140 likes! I didn't think it was that funny. Link to post Share on other sites
SithLord Posted December 5, 2014 Share Posted December 5, 2014 There was another thread where we came up with a philosoraptor meme asking "if an asexual masturbates, is another asexual born?" Cant find it atm, but ill look for it Link to post Share on other sites
5_♦♣ Posted December 5, 2014 Share Posted December 5, 2014 Um, actually an Aromatic person is someone who does not experience romantic attraction and who may or may not experience sexual attraction. Just FYI. Link to post Share on other sites
SorryNotSorry Posted December 5, 2014 Share Posted December 5, 2014 There was another thread where we came up with a philosoraptor meme asking "if an asexual masturbates, is another asexual born?" Cant find it atm, but ill look for it = fathering some pleasure Link to post Share on other sites
Scottthespy Posted December 5, 2014 Share Posted December 5, 2014 You typoed and posted aromantic twice. A person with a pleasant smell is "aromatic". Link to post Share on other sites
Sleepy One Posted December 5, 2014 Share Posted December 5, 2014 Ran across a funny one the other day: Q: What did the one asexual say to the other in bed? A: Zzzzzzzz Link to post Share on other sites
Hooded_Crow Posted December 5, 2014 Share Posted December 5, 2014 Ran across a funny one the other day: Q: What did the one asexual say to the other in bed? A: Zzzzzzzz Loving that one. It's just so cute, for some reason =3 Link to post Share on other sites
AceInhibitor Posted December 6, 2014 Author Share Posted December 6, 2014 Um, actually an Aromatic person is someone who does not experience romantic attraction and who may or may not experience sexual attraction. Just FYI. Oh yeah, woops. :L I did know that, I was also very sleepy when I wrote it. I'll fix it Link to post Share on other sites
AceInhibitor Posted December 6, 2014 Author Share Posted December 6, 2014 You typoed and posted aromantic twice. A person with a pleasant smell is "aromatic". Yeahhhhhh. Probably should have posted this on more hours sleep Link to post Share on other sites
SorryNotSorry Posted December 6, 2014 Share Posted December 6, 2014 Ran across a funny one the other day: Q: What did the one asexual say to the other in bed? A: Zzzzzzzz Answer #2: "tell me a story." Link to post Share on other sites
AprilStorms Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 Q: how can you pick out an asexual man in a nudist colony? A: it's not hard. That one took me a moment, but it's good :P Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 8, 2014 Share Posted December 8, 2014 You typoed and posted aromantic twice. A person with a pleasant smell is "aromatic". Or maybe they consist of stable ring-form organic molecules. Possibly benzene derivates. (Strange bit remembered from highschool chemistry class... :lol: ) Link to post Share on other sites
BlurredTheLines Posted December 8, 2014 Share Posted December 8, 2014 Q: how can you pick out an asexual man in a nudist colony? A: it's not hard. Ahaha, I've lost my sides at this joke. Link to post Share on other sites
R.Million Posted December 8, 2014 Share Posted December 8, 2014 Ran across a funny one the other day: Q: What did the one asexual say to the other in bed? A: Zzzzzzzz Answer #2: "tell me a story." Omg I love bedtime stories! Link to post Share on other sites
AceInhibitor Posted December 8, 2014 Author Share Posted December 8, 2014 You typoed and posted aromantic twice. A person with a pleasant smell is "aromatic". Or maybe they consist of stable ring-form organic molecules. Possibly benzene derivates. (Strange bit remembered from highschool chemistry class... :lol: ) I want that version on a t-shirt (I do pharmacy, lots of aromatic molecules) Link to post Share on other sites
Aworld Posted December 8, 2014 Share Posted December 8, 2014 What do you call an expert archer who is not interested in sex or romance? -An aro-ace arrow ace. (Told this one to my friends at school today, and they all facepalmed.) Link to post Share on other sites
SorryNotSorry Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 FYI someone who's aromatic walks around smelling like coal tar (or asphalt mingled with rotten fish). Bet you get a lot of attention from would-be admirers THAT way! Link to post Share on other sites
SorryNotSorry Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 What do you call an expert archer who is not interested in sex or romance? -An aro-ace arrow ace. (Told this one to my friends at school today, and they all facepalmed.) To be an ace, the person would need to shoot down 5 or more hostile aircraft. Link to post Share on other sites
AceInhibitor Posted December 9, 2014 Author Share Posted December 9, 2014 FYI someone who's aromatic walks around smelling like coal tar (or asphalt mingled with rotten fish). Bet you get a lot of attention from would-be admirers THAT way! Well a lot of aromatic molecules don't even have a scent so it's not exactly a 100% accurate joke but I thought it was funny Link to post Share on other sites
Potatwho Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 Q. How many Australian asexuals does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. One, and you don't need to pry him off a sheep. (You may need to be from New Zealand to find that funny) Link to post Share on other sites
NotAPlant Posted December 10, 2014 Share Posted December 10, 2014 'My anaconda don't, my anaconda don't, my anaconda don't want none unless you're a cinnamon bun, hun.' I love cinnamon buns. I want a cinnamon bun now. Thanks guys XP Link to post Share on other sites
IanH Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 There was another thread where we came up with a philosoraptor meme asking "if an asexual masturbates, is another asexual born?" Wow. I must be the dad of like 10 or 20. That's rather embarrassing. I'm an unfit father! :( Link to post Share on other sites
SkyWorld Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 Q: What do asexuals and pansexuals like in common? A: pancakes Link to post Share on other sites
freewill-gray Posted January 26, 2015 Share Posted January 26, 2015 "the spell can only be broken by true love’s high-five An asexual love story" "what if humans were just like some animals and we had a mating season just imagine everyone getting really horny for just a month, schools would close, businesses would close. and everyone is just fucking and fighting each other out in the streets#the asexuals are what keeps the economy from collapsing during this trying time "Damn it, it cant be that time again""Yeah I know. You lock the doors I’ll go call the others" Link to post Share on other sites
Skippy Squirrel Posted January 26, 2015 Share Posted January 26, 2015 Q. How many Australian asexuals does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. One, and you don't need to pry him off a sheep. (You may need to be from New Zealand to find that funny) I get the feeling we in England would've gone with Welsh asexuals. Link to post Share on other sites
Purge Posted January 26, 2015 Share Posted January 26, 2015 I went to a party and was led to the garage so the lady and I could have some privacy. When we got there, she stripped down to her underwear and said, "Take anything you want, big boy." I took the mountain bike. Link to post Share on other sites
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