what's wrong with me?

[. . . ....]

I've been wondering for a while. For the last like four years Ive stopped getting crushes on people. I do feel romance and I know i like it but I dont feel it with any one person and havent with ANYBODY in years. no one. no beautiful people or attractive people. but i wanna feel it. I only feel it when i read it in a story or watch it between other people. why not with myself? Ive dated a few people and I only liked them as friends...i tried but nothing more. not with strangers...friends or anybody.

[Guest]

Hello. Feeling romantic or loved is not what people make it up to be. You are fine, as long as you're ok with it.

[Ficulnean]

I'd say that there's nothing wrong with you. I veer towards lack or romantic desire myself, in terms of experience, but I still want to have it. So, I know how bad it can feel when you're not feeling something that you want to be. My advice? Get other people to pick up the torch of displaying their romance to you, that should help with feeling that connection.

[. . . ....]

thank you guys!

[whitesphere]

Even though I'm a romantic asexual, my counselor has pointed out to me that even a romantic (even a sexual romantic) relationship is almost entirely a friendship. It doesn't help us to idealize a romantic relationship as in any way different, it fills us with fear when it's possible and fear when it's not (because we fear we're missing out on something So Incredibly Wonderful).

Aside from a few key interactions being different --- most of us won't kiss or cuddle with friends, for example, most of the activities people do with their partners are the same they do with friends --- watch movies, read books, go out to eat, do other activities.

So if it's any consolation, you're maybe missing out on 1% of human interactions, if that. Close true friends can fill almost all of our human social needs. And when we're asexual, that's one need that's out of our consciousness.