After sex for a sexual

[RedLeg]

Just a quick link to show what is feels like for sexual after they have sex with their asexual partner. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQlIhraqL7o

And yes I did have sex three days ago breaking a four month dry spell. HAAAAY FOR ME.

[Frigid Pink]

I didn't like the video.

[noparlpf]

Couldn't bring myself to listen/watch, but I checked out the lyrics. Couldn't even finish reading it. It's just disgusting, juvenile, and objectifying of women.

[Amy Ghost]

Okay, I watched not even the first minute. That's so pathetic. Isn't there enough of sex everywhere around? Do we now have to have songs about it. Ugh!

[RK800]

.......Ew.

No offence, sorry if that hurt anyone's feelings.

[blossombreeze]

If you're bragging about having sex with an asexual for the first time in four months, i encourage you to think how THEY felt about it too. Have a conversation about it, even. Instead of just relishing in how great it was for you.

[Guest]

I have no issues with sexuals celebrating their sexuality. They love sex, so what? I get sick of all the goddamned sport on TV,they even have whole channels dedicated to sport (ugh) but people love it, so what? you know what I do? I change the channel.

I get rather tired of all the sex negativity on AVEN.

That aside, sex is in no way a positive or healthy thing when it happens to an asexual (or anyone) who does not want it. I hope that the OPs partner wanted it and enjoyed it as much as the OP did, or at least was very happy to give it even if she/he couldn't physically enjoy the sensations of it.

Just to be clear for anyone who sees the post, the clip is about a sexual man who just got sex from a sexual girl, and is extremely happy about it even though he can't work out why the girl let him have sex with her in the first place. Its pretty immature, but it's the guys themselves in the clip that make it immature "she let me put my penis in her! yay" *sigh* as opposed to the fact that it is about sex.

[noparlpf]

I'm not disgusted by it because it's about sex, but because it's juvenile and sexist.

[Amy Ghost]

I have no issues with sexuals celebrating their sexuality. They love sex, so what? I get sick of all the goddamned sport on TV,they even have whole channels dedicated to sport (ugh) but people love it, so what? you know what I do? I change the channel.

I get rather tired of all the sex negativity on AVEN.

That aside, sex is in no way a positive or healthy thing when it happens to an asexual (or anyone) who does not want it. I hope that the OPs partner wanted it and enjoyed it as much as the OP did, or at least was very happy to give it even if she/he couldn't physically enjoy the sensations of it.

Just to be clear for anyone who sees the post, the clip is about a sexual man who just got sex from a sexual girl, and is extremely happy about it even though he can't work out why the girl let him have sex with her in the first place. Its pretty immature, but it's the guys themselves in the clip that make it immature "she let me put my penis in her! yay" *sigh* as opposed to the fact that it is about sex.

If they want to be happy about it it's okay. But there's a difference between if it makes them just happy, or if they make such a immature things like this. Honestly I thinks it's pathetic.

[Guest]

If you're bragging about having sex with an asexual for the first time in four months, i encourage you to think how THEY felt about it too. Have a conversation about it, even. Instead of just relishing in how great it was for you.

Why??? This seems like the meanest of advice. "Did you enjoy having sex with your partner? Then you're a monster, stop thinking about enjoying it immediately!"

Please enlighten me... why should those of us in relationships with asexuals go out of our way NOT to enjoy sex? How would you like it if my advice to asexuals was "oh, you didn't love sex? Well stop feeling that way and start thinking about how much they liked it."

As for the video... I see it's a parody video starring Andy Samberg, so I think most of you are taking far too seriously something that was intended to be immature and stupid.

People in mixed relationships are well aware we don't feel the same as our partners about sex. Most of us do feel kind of horrible after sex, but for the lucky ones who don't, like the fella above, why would you want to encourage the same emotional turmoil in them that the rest of us feel? that seems mean.

[Guest]

I have no issues with sexuals celebrating their sexuality. They love sex, so what? I get sick of all the goddamned sport on TV,they even have whole channels dedicated to sport (ugh) but people love it, so what? you know what I do? I change the channel.

I get rather tired of all the sex negativity on AVEN.

That aside, sex is in no way a positive or healthy thing when it happens to an asexual (or anyone) who does not want it. I hope that the OPs partner wanted it and enjoyed it as much as the OP did, or at least was very happy to give it even if she/he couldn't physically enjoy the sensations of it.

Just to be clear for anyone who sees the post, the clip is about a sexual man who just got sex from a sexual girl, and is extremely happy about it even though he can't work out why the girl let him have sex with her in the first place. Its pretty immature, but it's the guys themselves in the clip that make it immature "she let me put my penis in her! yay" *sigh* as opposed to the fact that it is about sex.

If they want to be happy about it it's okay. But there's a difference between if it makes them just happy, or if they make such a immature things like this. Honestly I thinks it's pathetic.

I think rugby is pointless, boring, dangerous, and I have no desire to play it (ever!) yet I'm not going to call other people who enjoy rugby pathetic just because it's something they enjoy playing or watching on tv (even though I literally do think it's ridiculous lol) Yep, I get totally sick of how much importance NZ culture seems to place on rugby (rugby is *everywhere* here) but meh.. like I said, I change the channel.. or go and read a book.

Sex is no different. it's just something that people do, that they enjoy. There is nothing inherently wrong about people enjoying sex and celebrating that fact (as long as the sex is fully consensual of course.) just as there is nothing wrong with people enjoying rugby and celebrating how amazing they think it is.

Anyway, what I'm getting at is that I'm not going to say "people who play and/or watch rugby, and who feel the necessity to make tv adds about rugby, and who have to make an entire section dedicated to sport in the news, are pathetic" that's just mean.

That aside, I *did* think the guys in this clip were being immature (not surprising though as I see SkulleryMaid said it's a spoof/parody) but I would have found it just as immature if they had been singing the same way about cars or rugby or shoes. It was their behavior, not what they were singing about, that made me groan a little, and evidently they were intending it to come across that way, I don't think they were actually trying to be serious heh.

Would you have thought it was just as pathetic if they were singing about say,cars ("I just got me some brand new wheels! I'm gonna put my butt in my shiny new car and ride it all day, yay! I just got me a new caaaaaar!!!") *groan* lol..or was it the fact they are celebrating sex that made you think they are pathetic?

Anyway (this bit is more in reply to SkulleryMaid) Back to the OPs post,as long as the ace wasn't miserable or upset during the sex, then it's great that the OP enjoyed it. As someone who has been coerced into sex etc, I know how awful sex is when one doesn't want it (I personally have never enjoyed sex because it's just not something I want, regardless of whether or not I am aroused). So yeah, as long as the OPs partner actually fully wanted the sex for whatever reason (ie wanted to do something special for his/her partner or whatever) and hopefully enjoyed it too, then that's all good :)

EDIT: No one has my permission to copy my amazing lyrics and use them to become famous.. seriously, I will totally sue you if you do :P (lol I am joking actually, my lyrics were shit I do know that ehe)

[Amy Ghost]

I have no issues with sexuals celebrating their sexuality. They love sex, so what? I get sick of all the goddamned sport on TV,they even have whole channels dedicated to sport (ugh) but people love it, so what? you know what I do? I change the channel.

I get rather tired of all the sex negativity on AVEN.

That aside, sex is in no way a positive or healthy thing when it happens to an asexual (or anyone) who does not want it. I hope that the OPs partner wanted it and enjoyed it as much as the OP did, or at least was very happy to give it even if she/he couldn't physically enjoy the sensations of it.

Just to be clear for anyone who sees the post, the clip is about a sexual man who just got sex from a sexual girl, and is extremely happy about it even though he can't work out why the girl let him have sex with her in the first place. Its pretty immature, but it's the guys themselves in the clip that make it immature "she let me put my penis in her! yay" *sigh* as opposed to the fact that it is about sex.

If they want to be happy about it it's okay. But there's a difference between if it makes them just happy, or if they make such a immature things like this. Honestly I thinks it's pathetic.

I think rugby is pointless, boring, dangerous, and I have no desire to play it (ever!) yet I'm not going to call other people who enjoy rugby pathetic just because it's something they enjoy playing or watching on tv (even though I literally do think it's ridiculous lol) Yep, I get totally sick of how much importance NZ culture seems to place on rugby (rugby is *everywhere* here) but meh.. like I said, I change the channel.. or go and read a book.

Sex is no different. it's just something that people do, that they enjoy. There is nothing inherently wrong about people enjoying sex and celebrating that fact (as long as the sex is fully consensual of course.) just as there is nothing wrong with people enjoying rugby and celebrating how amazing they think it is.

Anyway, what I'm getting at is that I'm not going to say "people who play and/or watch rugby, and who feel the necessity to make tv adds about rugby, and who have to make an entire section dedicated to sport in the news, are pathetic, that's just mean.

That aside, I *did* think the guys in this clip were being immature (not surprising though as I see SkulleryMaid said it's a spoof/parody) but I would have found it just as immature if they had been singing the same way about cars or rugby or shoes. It was their behavior, not what they were singing about, that made me groan a little, and evidently they were intending it to come across that way, I don't think they were actually trying to be serious heh.

Would you have thought it was just as pathetic if they were singing about say,cars ("I just got me some brand new wheels! I'm gonna put my butt in my shiny new car and ride it all day, yay! I just got me a new caaaaaar!!!") *groan* lol..or was it the fact they are celebrating sex that made you think they are pathet

I didn't say I think people having sex is pathetic. If people want to have it it's their business really. Same of they are happy about it. People at my high school were talking about all the time. I admit it's been a little annoying, but then I simply didn't listen.

But making a music video about it? Really? It's childish. If someone wants to celebrate okay, though I don't understand why. But screaming it into the world? And yea, sure, we need to corrupt the children even more.

It's not about what. It's about how

[Fire & Rain]

I just want to comment that I didn't like the song lol Not because of the meaning behind it. I just didn't like it :D

[Guest]

Anyway (this bit is more in reply to SkulleryMaid) Back to the OPs post,as long as the ace wasn't miserable or upset during the sex, then it's great that the OP enjoyed it. As someone who has been coerced into sex etc, I know how awful sex is when one doesn't want it (I personally have never enjoyed sex because it's just not something I want, regardless of whether or not I am aroused). So yeah, as long as the OPs partner actually fully wanted the sex for whatever reason (ie wanted to do something special for his/her partner or whatever) and hopefully enjoyed it too, then that's all good :)

EDIT: No one has my permission to copy my amazing lyrics and use them to become famous.. seriously, I will totally sue you if you do :P (lol I am joking actually, my lyrics were shit I do know that ehe)

I was assuming since they are married and he managed to not force sex for 4 months, that it was likely consensual. It's hard to always have to justify having sex with one's spouse to strangers. Not that I'm saying relational rape doesn't happen... it most certainly does... but I try not to assume that's the case.

As for the video, let's all keep in mind it's the same guys who made the Dick in a Box video:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dick_in_a_Box

Being upset that it's immature is like watching an episode of South Park and then being upset that it wasn't Charlie Rose.

[Frigid Pink]

It's valid to feel upset/disgusted/whatever in response to immaturity.

[Neurula]

I read the responses before I clicked on the video. Man was I expecting something VILE. It was just the Lonely Island video.... It's humorous to me, although not relatable. I also find Jizz in My Pants hilarious. Go Lonely Island!

[Guest]

I was assuming since they are married and he managed to not force sex for 4 months, that it was likely consensual. It's hard to always have to justify having sex with one's spouse to strangers. Not that I'm saying relational rape doesn't happen... it most certainly does... but I try not to assume that's the case.

I was only going by what I could see in the OPs post! for all I know they could have been together (I cannot see in this post that they are married, or in the OPs profile, so you must know that from a separate post that I have not seen) for 6 months during the first two of which sex happened a few times, and he had been begging his partner for the past four months and she/he finally gave in, the OP is overjoyed at *finally* having gotten sex again.. their partner maybe not so much. I'm not saying this *is* the case at all, but I try to make a point of not being biased.. when writing my comments here I tried to keep it fair in that yes, the partner may have been fully into it, but maybe they only gave in after four months of pestering.. from a post with so little info, it's hard to know without having to go through and view the OPs other posts, which I don't have time for :)

I didn't say I think people having sex is pathetic. If people want to have it it's their business really. Same of they are happy about it. People at my high school were talking about all the time. I admit it's been a little annoying, but then I simply didn't listen.

But making a music video about it? Really? It's childish. If someone wants to celebrate okay, though I don't understand why. But screaming it into the world? And yea, sure, we need to corrupt the children even more.

It's not about what. It's about how

I never said that you said that people having sex is pathetic, you completely misread my post.

And excuse me? people enjoying and celebrating sex by making a music video about is 'corrupting children'? :o how? by giving them the idea that sex might not be something that is disgusting? that sex might not something for them to be ashamed about? News Flash: Its not!

What children need to be taught is proper sexual education, proper safety procedures when it comes to having sex etc, not that it's dirty and shameful and that witnessing someone else's happiness at having had sex in a music video will somehow be corrupting them. most human beings can't *not* want and enjoy sex, that comes naturally to a significant proportion of the population, so trying to raise kids as though sex is a horrible disgusting thing that needs to be hidden and kept secret is setting them up for failure because they are (probably) going to like and want it anyway, they'll just feel ashamed and filthy for wanting and enjoying it: and what you then have on your hand is one screwed up adult. Of course some children will grow up to be asexual, why not be open about asexuality too? make it clear to kids that some people love sex, some don't, and whatever they grow up to be regarding sex, that's fine. they may want it, they might not want it, but neither makes them wrong or dirty or disgusting.

*sigh*

[Frigid Pink]

What children need to be taught is proper sexual education, proper safety procedures when it comes to having sex etc, not that it's dirty and shameful and that witnessing someone else's happiness at having had sex in a music video will somehow be corrupting them. most human beings can't *not* want and enjoy sex, that comes naturally to a significant proportion of the population, so trying to raise kids as though sex is a horrible disgusting thing that needs to be hidden and kept secret is setting them up for failure because they are (probably) going to like and want it anyway, they'll just feel ashamed and filthy for wanting and enjoying it: and what you then have on your hand is one screwed up adult. Of course some children will grow up to be asexual, why not be open about asexuality too? make it clear to kids that some people love sex, some don't, and whatever they grow up to be regarding sex, that's fine. they may want it, they might not want it, but neither makes them wrong or dirty or disgusting.

I agree!

[Guest]

I was only going by what I could see in the OPs post! for all I know they could have been together (I cannot see in this post that they are married, or in the OPs profile, so you must know that from a separate post that I have not seen) for 6 months during the first two of which sex happened a few times, and he had been begging his partner for the past four months and she/he finally gave in, the OP is overjoyed at *finally* having gotten sex again.. their partner maybe not so much. I'm not saying this *is* the case at all, but I try to make a point of not being biased.. when writing my comments here I tried to keep it fair in that yes, the partner may have been fully into it, but maybe they only gave in after four months of pestering.. from a post with so little info, it's hard to know without having to go through and view the OPs other posts, which I don't have time for :)

At this point I feel like we're arguing but I don't know why because I think we agree... though maybe not...?

My opinion is, if you give in to your husband after months of pestering, that's still consent. If it doesn't count as consent if an asexual has sex because the other person wants to, then basically no asexual consents ever. I was active on AVEN years ago and not so much in the last 2, so I don't know how the culture around here shifted... but shouldn't we take for granted that the asexual partner isn't "fully into it"?

[Amy Ghost]

I have no issues with sexuals celebrating their sexuality. They love sex, so what? I get sick of all the goddamned sport on TV,they even have whole channels dedicated to sport (ugh) but people love it, so what? you know what I do? I change the channel.

I get rather tired of all the sex negativity on AVEN.

That aside, sex is in no way a positive or healthy thing when it happens to an asexual (or anyone) who does not want it. I hope that the OPs partner wanted it and enjoyed it as much as the OP did, or at least was very happy to give it even if she/he couldn't physically enjoy the sensations of it.

Just to be clear for anyone who sees the post, the clip is about a sexual man who just got sex from a sexual girl, and is extremely happy about it even though he can't work out why the girl let him have sex with her in the first place. Its pretty immature, but it's the guys themselves in the clip that make it immature "she let me put my penis in her! yay" *sigh* as opposed to the fact that it is about sex.

If they want to be happy about it it's okay. But there's a difference between if it makes them just happy, or if they make such a immature things like this. Honestly I thinks it's pathetic.

I think rugby is pointless, boring, dangerous, and I have no desire to play it (ever!) yet I'm not going to call other people who enjoy rugby pathetic just because it's something they enjoy playing or watching on tv (even though I literally do think it's ridiculous lol) Yep, I get totally sick of how much importance NZ culture seems to place on rugby (rugby is *everywhere* here) but meh.. like I said, I change the channel.. or go and read a book.

Sex is no different. it's just something that people do, that they enjoy. There is nothing inherently wrong about people enjoying sex and celebrating that fact (as long as the sex is fully consensual of course.) just as there is nothing wrong with people enjoying rugby and celebrating how amazing they think it is.

Anyway, what I'm getting at is that I'm not going to say "people who play and/or watch rugby, and who feel the necessity to make tv adds about rugby, and who have to make an entire section dedicated to sport in the news, are pathetic, that's just mean.

That aside, I *did* think the guys in this clip were being immature (not surprising though as I see SkulleryMaid said it's a spoof/parody) but I would have found it just as immature if they had been singing the same way about cars or rugby or shoes. It was their behavior, not what they were singing about, that made me groan a little, and evidently they were intending it to come across that way, I don't think they were actually trying to be serious heh.

Would you have thought it was just as pathetic if they were singing about say,cars ("I just got me some brand new wheels! I'm gonna put my butt in my shiny new car and ride it all day, yay! I just got me a new caaaaaar!!!") *groan* lol..or was it the fact they are celebrating sex that made you think they are pathet

I didn't say I think people having sex is pathetic. If people want to have it it's their business really. Same of they are happy about it. People at my high school were talking about all the time. I admit it's been a little annoying, but then I simply didn't listen.

But making a music video about it? Really? It's childish. If someone wants to celebrate okay, though I don't understand why. But screaming it into the world? And yea, sure, we need to corrupt the children even more.

It's not about what. It's about how

I never said that you said that people having sex is pathetic, you completely misread my post.

And excuse me? people enjoying and celebrating sex by making a music video about is 'corrupting children'? :o how? by giving them the idea that sex might not be something that is disgusting? that sex might not something for them to be ashamed about? News Flash: Its not!

What children need to be taught is proper sexual education, proper safety procedures when it comes to having sex etc, not that it's dirty and shameful and that witnessing someone else's happiness at having had sex in a music video will somehow be corrupting them. most human beings can't *not* want and enjoy sex, that comes naturally to a significant proportion of the population, so trying to raise kids as though sex is a horrible disgusting thing that needs to be hidden and kept secret is setting them up for failure because they are (probably) going to like and want it anyway, they'll just feel ashamed and filthy for wanting and enjoying it: and what you then have on your hand is one screwed up adult. Of course some children will grow up to be asexual, why not be open about asexuality too? make it clear to kids that some people love sex, some don't, and whatever they grow up to be regarding sex, that's fine. they may want it, they might not want it, but neither makes them wrong or dirty or disgusting.

*sigh*

It's like you said, children need a proper sexual education. Videos and other stuff immature like this only can make the situation worse. And by that I mean that our society is totally sex crazed. They need to be taught what it is really about, and slow down a little. What we have now is shaming, and completely misunderstanding so many things. That is what I'm saying

But whatews

[Guest]

It's like you said, children need a proper sexual education. Videos and other stuff immature like this only can make the situation worse. And by that I mean that our society is totally sex crazed. They need to be taught what it is really about, and slow down a little. What we have now is shaming, and completely misunderstanding so many things. That is what I'm saying

But whatews

What is sex about, pray tell?

And why "slow down"? Kids have been experimenting with sex since the beginning of time. As for sexual imagery, check out Pompeii. Tis not a new thing.

[Amy Ghost]

It's like you said, children need a proper sexual education. Videos and other stuff immature like this only can make the situation worse. And by that I mean that our society is totally sex crazed. They need to be taught what it is really about, and slow down a little. What we have now is shaming, and completely misunderstanding so many things. That is what I'm saying

But whatews

What is sex about, pray tell?

And why "slow down"? Kids have been experimenting with sex since the beginning of time. As for sexual imagery, check out Pompeii. Tis not a new thing.

More like teenagers did. Personally I don't think 10 year olds should

[Frigid Pink]

My opinion is, if you give in to your husband after months of pestering, that's still consent. If it doesn't count as consent if an asexual has sex because the other person wants to, then basically no asexual consents ever. I was active on AVEN years ago and not so much in the last 2, so I don't know how the culture around here shifted... but shouldn't we take for granted that the asexual partner isn't "fully into it"?

I think there's a difference between respect for how both the asexual person and sexual person feel as individuals in regards to engaging in partnered sex with one another (regardless of one partner not being "fully into it") and "pestering" (or pressure) for partnered sexual activity regardless of how the other person feels about it.

I think it's more about caring that the person who isn't "fully into it" is actually okay with it vs. "pestering" (or pressure) for something and getting consent for it regardless of how the other person feels about it or how it affects them. Basically, both partners need to be truly okay with the experience, regardless of consent. If someone doesn't feel okay about it, then that's not okay, consent or no consent. If someone doesn't care how the other person feels about it, then that's not okay, either.

In the video, it comes across as though one partner doesn't really care about how the other partner feels about the partnered sex they just shared as long as they shared partnered sex with them, as long as they get what they want, as long as they're happy.

If someone truly isn't okay with something (partnered sex, etc.), then I don't feel it's okay to pressure them into it, and instead feel the partners need to acknowledge the incompatibility and separate. Otherwise, I see that as a potentially unhealthy and emotionally harmful situation.

Especially with something like partnered sex, I think it's important to check in with someone before, during, and after, especially if it's the first time sharing partnered sex with one another.

Also, as an aside, as far as consent goes, I view it as "yes means yes" not "no means no."

[Guest]

I was only going by what I could see in the OPs post! for all I know they could have been together (I cannot see in this post that they are married, or in the OPs profile, so you must know that from a separate post that I have not seen) for 6 months during the first two of which sex happened a few times, and he had been begging his partner for the past four months and she/he finally gave in, the OP is overjoyed at *finally* having gotten sex again.. their partner maybe not so much. I'm not saying this *is* the case at all, but I try to make a point of not being biased.. when writing my comments here I tried to keep it fair in that yes, the partner may have been fully into it, but maybe they only gave in after four months of pestering.. from a post with so little info, it's hard to know without having to go through and view the OPs other posts, which I don't have time for :)

At this point I feel like we're arguing but I don't know why because I think we agree... though maybe not...?

My opinion is, if you give in to your husband after months of pestering, that's still consent. If it doesn't count as consent if an asexual has sex because the other person wants to, then basically no asexual consents ever. I was active on AVEN years ago and not so much in the last 2, so I don't know how the culture around here shifted... but shouldn't we take for granted that the asexual partner isn't "fully into it"?

lol no not arguing! I was not referring to whether or not the asexual was giving consent (obviously consent was given) there are just degrees of "not being into it".

I *hate* the way sex feels, it makes me miserable while it's happening to me, even if I am hormonally aroused, arousal changes nothing to make sex easier for me (its like if you *really* don't like strawberry ice cream and it actually makes you feel quite sick because you are allergic, but are allowing someone to feed it to you because doing so makes them *really* happy.. though if they truly knew how unhappy and how unwell consuming it made you, they wouldn't experience nearly as much satisfaction from it!) ..I would give my hypersexual ex-partner sex because I knew how much he enjoyed it, yet having sex tore me up emotionally and left me feeling wrecked emotionally, mentally and physically.. I would wake up every morning feeling dread because I knew I would have to make a choice between giving it (which I hated doing), or not giving it and having him beg which made me feel awful.. or eventually grow angry at me which made me, well, terrified . I tried to explain my feelings to him but he literally could not understand because he thought *all* people enjoy sex. Sex slowly began to become something I had no choice but to give consent to or he would become very angry and even violent, believing I must be cheating if I tried to refuse (just to be clear I didn't know about asexuality and the time and completely assumed there was something wrong with me which is why I stayed. I blamed myself for being 'broken' ...not him for being, well.. someone who couldn't look past his own enjoyment of sex to see the pain it caused me)

However some asexuals (by their own admission) actually *do* enjoy the sensations of sex and feel physical and emotional pleasure from it because they are being genitally stimulated in a way they find pleasurable and are gaining emotional pleasure from making their partner happy. I personally cannot relate to feeling this way, because if this was the case I would have been perfectly able to happily have sexual relationships and wouldn't have ended up on AVEN, however I have met many asexuals here who say they do, in fact enjoy partnered sex (without having an innate desire for it) so, evidently such asexuals exist!

There are many degrees to *not liking sex* and from this post I have no idea if the partner is in my category (which means the OP in this case is experiencing pleasure to the detriment of their partner possibly without even knowing it, he of course very probably is a much better man than my ex, but his partner may have given consent due to feeling awful after he had begged for so long, yet suffered miserably during the process of sex, while pretending to have fun through gritted teeth for his sake) or the partner may be in the category of an asexual who is able to enjoy the physical sensations of sex without experiencing any detriment to themselves.

From the amount of info the OP gave in his post, there is no way of knowing really one way of another.. and I know if people were saying "good job!" to my ex every time I gave in to sex, that would break my heart. However, if the partner did enjoy it at least to some degree (even if it was just emotional enjoyment of the pleasure the OP was recieving) then yay!

EDIT: and as Lady Girl said below, there are of course mid-ground aces who don't mind wither way they don't love having it but they don't hate having it either :)

[Guest]

It's like you said, children need a proper sexual education. Videos and other stuff immature like this only can make the situation worse. And by that I mean that our society is totally sex crazed. They need to be taught what it is really about, and slow down a little. What we have now is shaming, and completely misunderstanding so many things. That is what I'm saying

But whatews

So what is sex about, to you?

Our society is only 'sex crazed' because so many people love sex.. People love sex.. and that's okay!

There is nothing wrong with this as long as sex is practiced safely and respectfully. Nothing wrong with people celebrating their love of sex in music videos either.. this will not turn kids into deviants or sex crazed maniacs. And if a parent has an issue with a child watching this kind of thing, they can monitor their children's viewing material as I do for my own children regarding violence, abuse and hate-content.

[Lady Girl]

There is also the middle ground asexual, who may get absolutely nothing from the experience. They have no real good feelings, but no horrible ones either. I think this is an important thing to think about when it comes to consent. Consent is the more important issue. People can do things they don't particularly enjoy for all kinds of reasons...if it's not emotionally heartbreaking, I think it's okay...it's a person's right to make a choice.

Consent doesn't have to be enthusiastic. The lack of enthusiasm from an asexual partner who is willing to have sex is part of the problem for some sexual partners...they really want the enthusiasm too.

[Guest]

This is mildly off topic, but women sing about how much they love sex too!! it's not just a guy thing heh

I actually love this vid, I think she is stunning - and I think it's awesome that she can openly celebrate her sexuality (by that I mean her inner sexi-diva) like this :)

[Guest]

Umm, what about gay sex? <_< People are free to love sex or what ever. Just as I am free to do as I like.

[Guest]

Umm, what about gay sex? <_< People are free to love sex or what ever. Just as I am free to do as I like.

Sex between two people of the same gender is also, of course, awesome for people who enjoy it.. it's just sex, as long as the people having it are happy and safe, what does it matter what gender(s) they are? and I think it'll be great when this is more widely accepted as the perfectly okay thing that it is :)

[Guest]

I find it messed up that married sexuals have to provide tons of details before AVEN will acquiesce that they aren't rapists. The OP said nothing and did nothing wrong, and I don't understand why the baseline assumption is that unless a sexual comes over here actively rending their clothes it's assumed they're being improper.

I don't know, when I hear that a married guy hasn't had sex in 4 months, I definitely picture a patient dude.

Again, the video is intentionally ridiculous... this thread reads like Buzzfeed's "15 Grandparents Who Don't Understand The Onion".