Bozcar Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 The first friend I made at college happened to be demisexual. I think we both discovered it after we met because I remember a conversation where she said she wasn't sure if she was gay or not, we came out to each other after a conversation where we said we couldn't tell if someone was "hot" of not. Neither of us wear a ring or anything. Link to post Share on other sites
ShiningWizard Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 Ring? Black pants? Is there a dress code I don't know? Link to post Share on other sites
Sevens Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 Ring? Black pants? Is there a dress code I don't know? Its just a form of expression that some use to identify to themselves or others about their sexuality. The black ring (generally worn on the middle finger) is a symbol some asexuals use to express their sexuality on a daily basis. http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/71483-what-is-an-ace-ring/ And the black pants can be considered that too, but not as direct a statement as say, an asexuality flag. Similarly, many in the LGBTQIA community uses rainbows to express their sexuality; although each mini community chooses a specific set of colours. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 Its likely you could/may have meet a bunch of asexual/demisexual/grey-a folks but they could either a. not know about asexuality, demi, grey-a b. know but don't know/want to wear the a black ring/flag colors etc. The best thing to do would be to ask... Personally, no, I haven't met anyone aces wearing a black ring/flag colors but then I probably wasn't looking either.. Link to post Share on other sites
Lexan Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 No... But I do wish, I do. Link to post Share on other sites
Xavy Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 I met someone who lied to me that he was ace, went on a date with me and groped me. That wasn't a good night. You know, that was something I thought about a lot, are we at risk of people faking asexuality just to get close to us ? Link to post Share on other sites
RK800 Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 Maybe I have, I mean a lot of aces don't wear a ring. I'm pretty sure the majority of them don't run around in black, gray, white and purple tutus, waving an ace flag throwing glitter everywhere while shouting through a blow-horn "I'm an asexual and I'm proud!" Sure, that would be entertaining and certainly recognizable but I don't think it happens. tl;dr I may have met an ace/gray-ace before a not known it but I doubt I have. Link to post Share on other sites
gary80 Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 No, so struggling in that department at the moment. Where theres a will theres a way though. Maybe asexuals dont like too meet each other? I dont know? Gary Link to post Share on other sites
DashaT Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 Today I saw someone on the bus with a black ring on the middle finger of her right hand, but I didn't have the guts to ask her if it meant anything . Link to post Share on other sites
Xavy Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 Today I saw someone on the bus with a black ring on the middle finger of her right hand, but I didn't have the guts to ask her if it meant anything . Maybe not asking the person was not such a bad thing ...... I read somewhere that it is socially inappropriate to ask a person if they are gay, asexual, bisexual, etc, Therefore, it is not inconceivable that an asexual person wearing a black ring on their middle finger may not appreciate a stranger on the bus coming up to them and asking if they are asexual. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyorbys Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 Today I saw someone on the bus with a black ring on the middle finger of her right hand, but I didn't have the guts to ask her if it meant anything . Maybe not asking the person was not such a bad thing ...... I read somewhere that it is socially inappropriate to ask a person if they are gay, asexual, bisexual, etc, Therefore, it is not inconceivable that an asexual person wearing a black ring on their middle finger may not appreciate a stranger on the bus coming up to them and asking if they are asexual. I'm sure they wouldn't mind if you said you were asexual too. Link to post Share on other sites
Xavy Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 Today I saw someone on the bus with a black ring on the middle finger of her right hand, but I didn't have the guts to ask her if it meant anything . Maybe not asking the person was not such a bad thing ...... I read somewhere that it is socially inappropriate to ask a person if they are gay, asexual, bisexual, etc, Therefore, it is not inconceivable that an asexual person wearing a black ring on their middle finger may not appreciate a stranger on the bus coming up to them and asking if they are asexual. I'm sure they wouldn't mind if you said you were asexual too. Think of how ackward it would be if you went up to a stranger on a bus who is wearing the black ring and the following conversation ensued : You : hi, I am asexual, I see you are wearing a black ring on your right middle finger, are you also asexual ? Stranger : huh? asexual ? What is that ? And ...erm....do I know you ? [ackward silence as you are wishing the earth could open up an swallow the bus] Link to post Share on other sites
Pyropotter Posted November 8, 2014 Share Posted November 8, 2014 Besides the Ace I've been in a relationship with for the past 2 decades, I recently ran into two adorable little ones in the wild. It was at a Anime convention and they had self identified with both rings and sharpie tattoos. I tried to say something encouraging, but they were fast moving and distractable and I don't think they heard. I personally don't wear anything identifying, so chances are I've met others unknowing many times before. There's a monastary nearby where I live, for instance, that may just have a few quietly comfortable aces. Link to post Share on other sites
Aworld Posted November 8, 2014 Share Posted November 8, 2014 I have an asexual friend in real life, but it wasn't due to the black ring or flag or anything. I do wear a black ring and an ace coloured scarf in winter (also sometimes my ace coloured earrings) but no one has commented on it. Link to post Share on other sites
Aotyc Posted December 12, 2014 Share Posted December 12, 2014 I learned one of my best friends was ace about a week after I came out. She's panromantic but I think I'm aromantic. Link to post Share on other sites
_stillahomosapien_ Posted December 12, 2014 Share Posted December 12, 2014 Pretty sure all of my classmates are, because all of them have never been in a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
AprilStorms Posted December 14, 2014 Share Posted December 14, 2014 Personally, I have met a few others offline. Not even through AVEN! I found out a friend was ace because I had overheard her saying so, but never said anything about it until she specifically told me (while we were goofing off at a club meeting and were both delighted to find that asexuality was included in some online quiz or other). On the day we both gave blood at the school's annual drive, we jointly answered a first-time donor's questions. When we got to the part about how they ask about a person's sexual history during the health screening, an asexy high five was exchanged.Two other friends of mine are questioning at the moment, so I'll have a better answer to that question in a few months :) I have found someone who was born in the same hospital and same room with me. I found her on aven and when we spoke about each other we saw that we were born same day same hour and same room but we finally met on aven. LOLI have also met some people when i was younger and they weren't interested in sex Oh, wow, that's really interesting! It makes you wonder... I saw this girl at my school, She was wearing a sweater that said "Asexual pirate doesn't want your booty." And she was super cute too.... I stood behind her in the lunch line, and she pulled out her wallet, and she had an ace flag key chain. So now I just kinda stalk her (that sounds weird) around school because I am too shy to introduce myself. hehe. I want to know where she got that sweater! :D Link to post Share on other sites
Moon Ace Posted December 14, 2014 Share Posted December 14, 2014 She probably got it off redbubble...or cafe press... Link to post Share on other sites
Prisma Posted December 14, 2014 Share Posted December 14, 2014 From what I saw in the Israeli forum, not many of them even know about the black ring thing, so no... Link to post Share on other sites
Mostly Peaceful Ryan Posted December 14, 2014 Share Posted December 14, 2014 Yes I know two, one was a very close friend of mine who I lost touch with the other is a very close friend who I hang out with pretty often when I'm in my hometown Link to post Share on other sites
Hikishi Posted December 14, 2014 Share Posted December 14, 2014 I saw this girl at my school, She was wearing a sweater that said "Asexual pirate doesn't want your booty." And she was super cute too.... I stood behind her in the lunch line, and she pulled out her wallet, and she had an ace flag key chain. So now I just kinda stalk her (that sounds weird) around school because I am too shy to introduce myself. hehe. I want to know where she got that sweater! :D There's also a big Asexual product line on Zazzle, so it could be from there. Expensive though >< Link to post Share on other sites
Wandering Ace Posted December 14, 2014 Share Posted December 14, 2014 Not as far as I know. There was a girl in my Health class the other day wearing a sweater thing that was literally the Ace flag colors. I couldn't stop staring at her. I don't think she's ace, though. Link to post Share on other sites
zabz Posted December 14, 2014 Share Posted December 14, 2014 I mean, of course we have, yes. But expanding on my question, has anyone ever found another asexual because they were wearing the black ring or the flag colors? Or even because they made some obscure reference to cake? Or even more interesting, has anyone ever found out that they knew a fellow AVENite in real life? I'm curious if the "subtle signs" we put out have actually worked in reeling anyone in. Thanks in advance Once, maybe twice. The first time, I sat in on a friend of mine who was giving a seminar at university. One of the students wore an ace ring. However she seemed very very shy so I didn't want to call her out in front of all her classmates (and risk outing her) and I didn't get to speak to her after. At the time, I didn't wear a ring so I wasn't identifiable in turn. I never found out if I was right or not. The second time, someone called Lizzy chatted to me in a train station after she spotted an ace badge I have on the zip of my backpack. So someone found me! :D Link to post Share on other sites
pipsuxx Posted December 14, 2014 Share Posted December 14, 2014 i actually properly accepted i was asexual and then came out because i ended up in a hot tub with an asexual guy at a friend's party, haha. the least sexy hot tub scene ever!? it was us two, a bisexual girl and a gay girl, so perhaps one of the most statistically unlikely hot tub populations to ever occur, haha. Link to post Share on other sites
Eva Posted December 14, 2014 Share Posted December 14, 2014 I mean, of course we have, yes. Actually, no, I haven't yet. Not one. Link to post Share on other sites
pipsuxx Posted December 14, 2014 Share Posted December 14, 2014 also i suppose i should add that since i've been openly asexual in some of my circles of friends, two or three people have realised that the label probably applies to them too. Link to post Share on other sites
dissolved Posted December 14, 2014 Share Posted December 14, 2014 I've only knowingly met one - a girl in first year at my university wore the black ring. She encouraged me to wear a haematite ring that I'd bought about a decade ago for no apparent reason and never really worn. Seen as it's kind of grey, it works for me! Link to post Share on other sites
BlueWatermelon Posted December 14, 2014 Share Posted December 14, 2014 Nope. The closest thing so far was a gay couple who paused their conversation and stared at my ring for a second. Link to post Share on other sites
Moon Ace Posted December 14, 2014 Share Posted December 14, 2014 Nope. The closest thing so far was a gay couple who paused their conversation and stared at my ring for a second. I hope you were wearing it on the correct finger... they may have been wondering whether you are a swinger otherwise! ^_^ Link to post Share on other sites
dissolved Posted December 14, 2014 Share Posted December 14, 2014 Nope. The closest thing so far was a gay couple who paused their conversation and stared at my ring for a second.I hope you were wearing it on the correct finger... they may have been wondering whether you are a swinger otherwise! ^_^ Which fingers mean what? Link to post Share on other sites
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