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Only sexual when I am drunk?


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I identify as asexual. Even today when Date asked for a kiss I was repulsed (I felt bad about it). However whenever I get drunk all I can think about is making out with someone or going even further. Is it possible I just have some emotional barriers and am not really asexual? I'm am confused.

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Alcohol does some funny things, especially with your brain. If your asexual when sober, and are happy with it, I don't see anything wrong with it.

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Maybe you're gray-sexual? Maybe you're just super shy. It doesn't really matter. Welcome to AVEN. Cake?

051120081-01-chocolate-irish-whiskey-cak

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Touchofinsight

Alcohol doesn't make you do anything you couldn't do when you are sober. What it does do is lower your inhibitions. Thats why it has so many silly nick names like "Liquid courage" or "truth serum".

Take that information where you will.

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These impulses aren't necessarily sexually motivated. It could be an urge more for an emotional connection - or to do something crazy to break the monotony of your life. Try to observe whether a) when sober, you really are sexually disinterested or whether you are really just shy or scared of sex and b) whether you really are sexually attracted/interested in people or whether sex is just a means to another end.

G'luck.

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Alcohol doesn't make you do anything you couldn't do when you are sober.

Not true. It can affect some people in such a way that they're like a comepletely different person drunk to sober. Also, different drinks can affect people differently, as can what they're ingesting along with the alcohol.

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Mycroft is Yourcroft

These impulses aren't necessarily sexually motivated. It could be an urge more for an emotional connection - or to do something crazy to break the monotony of your life. Try to observe whether a) when sober, you really are sexually disinterested or whether you are really just shy or scared of sex and b) whether you really are sexually attracted/interested in people or whether sex is just a means to another end.

G'luck.

:cake: ^ For this

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Touchofinsight

Alcohol doesn't make you do anything you couldn't do when you are sober.

Not true. It can affect some people in such a way that they're like a comepletely different person drunk to sober. Also, different drinks can affect people differently, as can what they're ingesting along with the alcohol.

As someone who knows a great deal about alcohol I am sorry but your wrong. Your inhibitions being lowered can help you make choices you would other wise think twice about but you are just as capable of doing something sober as you are drunk. You don't become a different person, that's called an excuse. Your still you, you don't go into another personality or transform.

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I get like this and I'd still say I was asexual. When sober i dont want to do anything sexual maybe a kiss but no tongues D: but when drunk i just feel like, well why not try, only kisses though never really anything more because i know i wouldnt like it. It doesnt spark any huge reaction in me its just something different to do which sounds really awful no i've written it down :/

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Alcohol doesn't make you do anything you couldn't do when you are sober.

Not true. It can affect some people in such a way that they're like a comepletely different person drunk to sober. Also, different drinks can affect people differently, as can what they're ingesting along with the alcohol.

As someone who knows a great deal about alcohol I am sorry but your wrong. Your inhibitions being lowered can help you make choices you would other wise think twice about but you are just as capable of doing something sober as you are drunk. You don't become a different person, that's called an excuse. Your still you, you don't go into another personality or transform.

Doesn't alcohol affect different people very differently? I am a physicist, so I have no scientific background in studying alcohol, but I do know that drunkedness manifests very differently in different people, including the level of regret or astonishment displayed the day after when they remember or are told what they did. It seems to me that while alcohol seems to primarily lower inhibitions with some people, it can raise inhibitions or cause panic attacks in others, or cause such things as tendencies towards violence or obssessive behaviour in some who show no sign of that while sober. (can you tell that I'm an experimentalist...? ;) )

I would love to see any articles or general scholarly works that assert that all drunken debauchery boils down to lowered inhibitions. It seems much more intuitive to me that alcohol would have varying affects on different individuals, but I'm willing to keep an open mind. Like I said, I specialise in particles, not humans ;)

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I did the same thing. I won't go screw a total stranger sober or drunk but in the relationships that I have had the only times I ever really initiated sex was when I was drunk.

Sober me feels like sex is a chore. It's boring, awkward, alien, a waste of time and when it's over ends up crying in the shower.

Drunk me feels like its okay. Has no problem doing it but always ends up feeling disgusted with herself when it's over and ends up crying in the shower.

So while I think the aproach may be different drunk me and sober me agree on certain things.

P.S the crying in the shower isn't because of some past abuse being brought up or anything it's because drunk me cant understand why it didn't feel the way it's supposed to feel and sober me knows that I will never feel what my partner is feeling.

P.P.S I'm okay with it now.

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Feral_Sophisticate

My girl is a VERY different girlfriend when she's had a few drinks. In her own words, she needs the liquid courage sometimes. I know she needed it the first time she and I sat down and talked about how we felt about each other. She doesn't need it now, of course, but that time? Yes, absolutely. For her, it's an ice-breaker.

There's times where some of her boundaries have been pushed, at her initiative, and when she's had a few drinks. In all cases, we always talked about it ahead of time, and before alcohol was poured. That's always been our rule, and I don't expect that to change.

I get the "why" for her. She battles anxiety daily, and trying anything new (no matter what that might be) is not easy for her.

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  • 2 weeks later...

The affects of alcohol are largely psychological. Many drink labs confirm this. It affects people differently sure, but that doesn't mean that the symptoms are any different. people have different inhibitions on different things. So when they come down, it has varying reactions with each person. Some things, like me wanting to smoke, isn't something i inhibit, it's just something i don't want to do, so drinking alcohol won't make me want to do it. If someone has a lot of inhibitions they would act very different without them.

But more on topic. You can be asexual and still want/have sex. And i would use sober logic when trying to figure out what label you feel most comfortable using. In the end the only reason the label is there is so that you can better explain to people how you feel on the subject and to help you identify yourself. so really only you can know.

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