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If I wore the black ring on the left hand instead?


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I have a black ace ring, but its kind of small. It fits my left middle finger perfectly, but I have to twist it it to get it off when I wear it on the right hand. I guess my left one is a little thinner because I'm right handed or something. Would an ace recognize me if I wore the black ring on the left middle finger instead? Or would asexuals assume its just a fashion ring? I can wear it on the right anyway but I want to be comfortable. I can't buy another one any time soon, and the store doesn't have my size right now.

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I didn't think it mattered what hand it went on as long as it's on the middle finger and not the ring finger. ^_^

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As long as you don't put it on any other finger on your right hand... You may gain unwanted attention xD

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Actually, sticking a black ring on any finger other than your right middle apparently marks you as a swinger, or as polyamourous

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Sage Raven Domino

Can we come to terms with swingers and the polyamorous so that they allow us to wear black rings on ring fingers as well? It would be very convenient, as unknowing sexual people would then think we're married and flirt with us less often :) We need it more than those groups.

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Mycroft is Yourcroft

I know other aces who wear it on the left middle finger, so I don't think it's going to matter :P

My black ring (that actually FITS) arrives today! :D

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Actually, sticking a black ring on any finger other than your right middle apparently marks you as a swinger, or as polyamourous

Moreover, even wearing a black ring on your right middle finger makes some people think you are into swinging.

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Actually, sticking a black ring on any finger other than your right middle apparently marks you as a swinger, or as polyamourous

Moreover, even wearing a black ring on your right middle finger makes some people think you are into swinging.

True, but the swingers actually advertise out to leave the middle finger for us Aces

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I've read (from another poster) that the middle finger of the left hand can stand for forever single as it's next to the "married" finger. I would like one for my left hand for a balanced look.

Even if it's not "official", I wear what I like, where I like. I mean we're here because we are unique, right?

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Actually, sticking a black ring on any finger other than your right middle apparently marks you as a swinger, or as polyamourous

A black ring on the left fingers has no official meaning, to the best of my knowledge. It's just the right fingers that the swinger community has taken :) (Correct me if I'm wrong, I am not aware of any polyamorous conventions, just the swinger community's conventions).

Which also answers the question of whether you can wear a ring on your left ring finger. Go for it! It's not conflicting with the swinger community, and if it fends off unwanted attention, then so be it.

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Sage Raven Domino

The problem is that, in Russia and other primarily Eastern Orthodox Christian countries, the wedding ring is worn on the right hand :wacko: But probably swingers have taken left hand fingers here, at least it would be quite logical. I don't know.

(Edit: Google returns no relevant results on swingers' black rings in Russian, so I assume that this symbol is just not recognised here on either hand. In fact, in 2009, there was a tiny movement that proposed to put on a black ring visibly whenever one doesn't want a relationship with someone who's approaching, and a white ring if one does want it, so the black ring rather an asexual symbol here than a swinger one.)

But after some thought, I've dismissed the possibility of wearing a ring on a ring finger anyway, as it's terrifying to me to imagine myself married.

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Ok so if I'm a mainstream asexual (heteromantic female at birth), and I would be happy to be approached by an asexual heteromantic male, what do I wear? A black ring on the right middle (indicating ace) as well as a white ring on left middle (indicating looking for a relationship)? I'm neither poly nor pan, but if I'm repelling people with my ace ring, then I'm doing the opposite of what I intended. I wear the ring to help find the aces around me, because I'd like to eventually find a compatible ace to date.

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I would think that having the black ace ring on the right hand would be enough to attract another ace. Where it goes from there is up to the aces involved.

Reminds me of the 70's (yes I'm that old :P) when gay men would walk around with bandannas in their back pockets. A different color for what they were into. A different back pocket for

dominant and submissive. The list of color meanings grew to about 3 pages long. Didn't last long since no one could remember what color stood for what fetish.

I believe in keeping it simple to avoid confusion.

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Sage Raven Domino

Oh sorry, I've brought in too much confusion. The white ring thing was spread only in Russia and only among 11 people, afaik :D

I think just wearing a black ring should be fine. That male will get curious whether you're romantic and ask you out. There are just too few aces out there, so it's better to ask whether one is romantic than to never ask.

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I would think that having the black ace ring on the right hand would be enough to attract another ace. Where it goes from there is up to the aces involved.

Reminds me of the 70's (yes I'm that old :P) when gay men would walk around with bandannas in their back pockets. A different color for what they were into. A different back pocket for

dominant and submissive. The list of color meanings grew to about 3 pages long. Didn't last long since no one could remember what color stood for what fetish.

I believe in keeping it simple to avoid confusion.

The base 8 or so colours of the hanky code ( "flagging" ) are still used today in the kink community actually. Although probably not as common as years past. It is making a slight comeback trend for sure.

I flag purple (needles/piercing) at almost every event.

As for black ring location. I can't see the location being a huge issue. Myself, I've been wanting to get a black masonic ring to wear. In order to try and get two birds stoned at once. So that certainly wouldn't be on the middle finger. This thread was the first time I heard of it needing to be on that specific finger. I guess I'm out of the loop.

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Wear your ring on the hand and specific finger you like. I cannot stand wearing rings on middle fingers and so I don't! And I honestly do not like wearing rings on my right hand either and, again... So I don't!

The problem is that, in Russia and other primarily Eastern Orthodox Christian countries, the wedding ring is worn on the right hand

Yes, but I would give no importance to that. Greek Orthodox (the original, baby) here and engagement rings go on the left ring finger and are transferred to the right ring finger during the wedding ceremony, becoming the wedding bands. Some very modern couples will probably have a diamond engagement ring for the lady and a seperate set of wedding bands... But those are probably the people who also have been passionately celebrating Christmas... For the past 15 years, only :lol:

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Oh sorry, I've brought in too much confusion. The white ring thing was spread only in Russia and only among 11 people, afaik :D

I think just wearing a black ring should be fine. That male will get curious whether you're romantic and ask you out. There are just too few aces out there, so it's better to ask whether one is romantic than to never ask.

I like that idea of black and white rings and their symbolism. It's too bad that it didn't really catch on, nor spread anywhere else.

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I would think that having the black ace ring on the right hand would be enough to attract another ace. Where it goes from there is up to the aces involved.

Reminds me of the 70's (yes I'm that old :P) when gay men would walk around with bandannas in their back pockets. A different color for what they were into. A different back pocket for

dominant and submissive. The list of color meanings grew to about 3 pages long. Didn't last long since no one could remember what color stood for what fetish.

I believe in keeping it simple to avoid confusion.

Yeah it was kind of like that with the earring. It was right means gay and left means straight, but people started getting confused about which one was which and now people mix them up. The simpler the symbol, the better.

Hopefully someone wearing an ace ring won't be confused for a swinger, because there are a lot of sex-repulsed aces who wouldn't want any misunderstandings.

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Ok so if I'm a mainstream asexual (heteromantic female at birth), and I would be happy to be approached by an asexual heteromantic male, what do I wear? A black ring on the right middle (indicating ace) as well as a white ring on left middle (indicating looking for a relationship)? I'm neither poly nor pan, but if I'm repelling people with my ace ring, then I'm doing the opposite of what I intended. I wear the ring to help find the aces around me, because I'd like to eventually find a compatible ace to date.

I like that idea. Maybe you could wear a black heart ace ring on the right middle finger. Aces would be looking for it and maybe if they see the black ring *and* the heart they'd think you could be a romantic ace.

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I wear mine on my right-hand middle, but I did see an article on swingers and their rings, where they wear it on any other finger of their right-hand (but have advised others in their community to please stay away from the middle-finger in order to respect us). I can't find the actual website again (unless I did find it, and it looks different) but I found this on another that mentions it.

In an effort to help everyone in the swinging lifestyle discretely identify each other, we suggest wearing a black ring on your right hand — anywhere except on your middle finger — whenever you’re open to meeting others in the lifestyle. Why not the middle finger? Wearing a black ring on the middle of your finger of your right had has already been claimed as a sign of asexuality. Out of respect for those who identify as asexual, we’re going to avoid the middle finger but claim the other three fingers, plus the thumb, on the right hand.

If for the time being, you can't wear your ring on your right middle finger, just be sure to check for another person's ring that may be misunderstanding why you're wearing yours. Also, someone might ask you about it even if they are not swingers themselves but know of the practice. I don't know how comfortable you are with people knowing you're Ace, or if you're out...but you might find yourself explaining it. Of course, your middle finger on your left hand is perfectly safe, as the swinger community only uses the right-hand anyway. :)

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PolackLibrarian

The Swingers Hub talks about not wearing it on the middle fingers as a sign of respect for us.

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  • 9 months later...
Pokegeek151

I don't really like wearing rings in general, but I still want to show my ace. If I put it on a chain and wore it around my neck, would that be identified?

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