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For 20-somethings getting their feet off the ground

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the bumbling rotifer

20s isn't old ☺. Job market is always a strange place. I work in the IT industry but I'm not sure that I want to do that for the rest of my life but it's the only thing I learnt to do and changing that mid-20s is hard on the other hand I don't know what I would like else. Currently trying to learn new things (like languages) maybe that'll help me someday to do other jobs.

Welcome to the 20s thread, b_oat :cake:

Changing careers might not be as difficult as you imagine: you might not have as much knowledge as someone who has trained for a particular career, but you may well bring other, transferable skills to the table.

I thought that I was committed to biology (I spent 8 years at university studying it), until I got offered a job as an engineer :P

I expect that potential employers will highly value your IT skills, regardless of what career path you wish to follow. :D

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bookaccino

Oh wow the 20 somethings thread is in the "Older Asexuals" sub. I feel old now. I'm 28, and just about finishing up my first year at my first full time job. I'm not in love with my career (super boring), but I can't currently change without financial hardship, 14 years of school (not an exaggeration), or moving back in with my parents. So I endure. Luckilly I like the people I work with, which is always a blessing.

I've mostly overcome my social anxieties that came out of no-where when I became 16. I went from extrovert to introvert with near crippling GAD. Thanks to the years of college I did manage to experience, I overcame most of my anxiety, but not the introverted part of my nature. I'm starting to look into meetups in my area, as I enjoyed the few I've gone too. Maybe I'll even volunteer again. Finally, I'm starting to get comfortable with my sexual identity... all I need now is to find is an ace who isn't 50+ miles away.

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deltaX

*peaks head into the thread* Hello, I was always a bit intimidated to join this thread because I am only 20, so I am definitely one of the younger ones here, but today I decided to say hi anyway.

In many ways I feel like I'm not really an adult, because I'm still in school (and probably will be for a few years as I am hoping to get a PhD) and still live with my parents. I also still get carded for rated R movies and asked if I need a kids menu at restaurants because I look much younger than I actually am. But on the other hand, now that I am 20 there are so many more responsibilities that I'm being thrown into, and so many expectations that I know what I want to do with my life. It's like I'm at a point where I'm too childish to be a functioning adult, but too old to still cling to the fantasy of being a child, which can be really frustrating.

So yeah, not sure how active I'll be on this thread, but I figured I'd comment and start following in case any interesting discussions come up here that I'd want to be a part of. :)

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Skycaptain

Welcome Delta, don't worry, most of us post on all these forums, irrespective of our age.

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Tarfeather

but too old to still cling to the fantasy of being a child

We're never too old for that. I'm still a child now, I will still be one the day I die. Child pride~

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the bumbling rotifer

*peaks head into the thread* Hello, I was always a bit intimidated to join this thread because I am only 20, so I am definitely one of the younger ones here, but today I decided to say hi anyway.

In many ways I feel like I'm not really an adult, because I'm still in school (and probably will be for a few years as I am hoping to get a PhD) and still live with my parents. I also still get carded for rated R movies and asked if I need a kids menu at restaurants because I look much younger than I actually am. But on the other hand, now that I am 20 there are so many more responsibilities that I'm being thrown into, and so many expectations that I know what I want to do with my life. It's like I'm at a point where I'm too childish to be a functioning adult, but too old to still cling to the fantasy of being a child, which can be really frustrating.

So yeah, not sure how active I'll be on this thread, but I figured I'd comment and start following in case any interesting discussions come up here that I'd want to be a part of. :)

Welcome, delta! :D

Skycaptain's right: there are plenty of us who float around several of the age-specific threads. If you see a discussion that interests you, please do feel free to jump in. I should warn you though, there's quite a lot of natural history and gardening once you get beyond the 20s thread. :p

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Zai

...

In many ways I feel like I'm not really an adult, because I'm still in school (and probably will be for a few years as I am hoping to get a PhD)

Welcome, delta! :D

Skycaptain's right: there are plenty of us who float around several of the age-specific threads. If you see a discussion that interests you, please do feel free to jump in. I should warn you though, there's quite a lot of natural history and gardening once you get beyond the 20s thread. :P

Nothing wrong with a bit of natural history :) (can't say I know much about gardening, but then I live in a flat..)

But anyway, I'm 24 and still in school too (yay grad school :) ) And I can still say a lot of the time I still don't feel like a 'proper' adult, even though I have moved away from home and have to buy groceries, pay bills and such! Not sure if this is just because I am in school/ a lot of my friends are also grad students.. it is kinda a weird stage in life! (I too tend to look younger than I am, which when hanging around on a uni campus all the time makes people assume I am an undergrad, though out of that context I have been asked which grade of high school I am in :blink: )

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awkwardfeminist

I'm having a very surreal month. I moved into my new apartment, where I can live pretty much my whole life if I feel like it and it's an a lovely area and really close to downtown and cheap grocery shops. I'll be finishing my MA on time, unless something bizarre happens in the next few days - it's pretty much ready to be submitted and defended. And I just got a job! A job that is actually relevant to my degree. I'm starting in September and this summer won't be great money-wise, but I have a job lined up! Everything is working out and it all feels very strange, but good.

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Autumn Sunrise

Congratulations, awkwardfeminist :wub:

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deltaX

That's great awkwardfeminist!!! :cake: :cake:

I'm at a strange point in terms of living arrangements too. All my life I've lived with my parents in the same house, and had never been on my own for longer than a week or so at a time. However, due to a research opportunity my advisor found a few states away, starting next week I will be spending about two months living in a dorm three hours from home. On one hand I'm super nervous because it's all so new and confusing, but I'm also super excited to see what it's like to be on my own for so long. :)

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Autumn Sunrise

Sounds exciting, Delta - I hope it will be a wonderful experience :)

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Zai

That sounds like it should be really awesome Delta! The first times I lived away from home where for short-term research jobs too. I hope you have as wonderful an experience as I did, the times I have done this :) It should be great, plus it will give you a first chance at living away from home, so when you do move out one day at least you have had some practice :)

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justalittledifferent

Hi everyone, I read through the last few posts and I'm happy for you guys that are starting new chapters- it all sounds really exciting!

I definitely understand the mid/late twenties issue of not knowing where the hell your life is going, but feeling strongly like you should. I'm a 26 year old Texan who (thankfully) finished grad school a few years ago. I currently have a job in the marketing field, but it's the type of thing that starts to wear on you after awhile and I'm not sure how much longer I'm going to keep at it. Maybe another year and a half? But I have no idea what I'll do after.

I'm also really torn because I'm a volleyball player and I miss it; I had the wonderful opportunity to play in Germany for a season about two years ago now and I would looove to go back to Europe and play again.. It's just that I make quite a bit more money at my current job than I would playing, and to be perfectly honest, I really like money.

Then add in me just figuring out I'm some sort of asexual (still working that out) and trying to determine what kind of relationship I want and wondering if I'll ever actually find someone who fits that... yeah struggle!! Anyway, I'm happy to be a part of this community and am looking for some peeps to connect with so feel free to message or add me!

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Autumn Sunrise

Welcome, justalittledifferent :cake::cake::cake: I hope you enjoy being on AVEN, and find some new friends here :)

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Amy Ghost

Today I'm 24 and it's about 2 weeks since I had my paper work sent to the ministglad about that I finally got to this point.

I can't really tell what really makes me happy. I promp to depression and don't really know how I'd describe happy. But I'm not too bad anymore. Suicidal that is.

But I like to read, watch stuff on youtube like Monsters and Mysteries in America, Have I Got News for You, Top Gear and Anime.

Well, I won't bore anymore.

Free hugs for everyone. And should someone want even free shrugs :P

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Skri

Ghosting (HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! :cake: ) yesterday there was a girl in Camden with a FREE HUGS sign and I hugged her! :wub: omg yeah sorry but it was so amazing and you totally reminded me of it, thank you.

Right after I turned on my phone to write it to my friend and I found a text of my gf breaking up with me. Shitty as that.

I am living in a country that it's not mine, having a good job, learning things and the language, being into therapy, living on my own... but I know sooner or later I will be back in my country, where everything is a bit worse and I will have to stay for a while (until I'll find a decent job) with my family again, thing that I totally can not do.

And I will turn 25 this year. I don't know though, life is strange. I wanted to live on my own by my 25th birthday and here I am, getting better with anxiety and recovering from many many shitty things of the past... and still I never feel like I fit in, in any situation ever. Meh. Being an adult is weird, but I guess in a good way.

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Amy Ghost

Ghosting (HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! :cake: ) yesterday there was a girl in Camden with a FREE HUGS sign and I hugged her! :wub: omg yeah sorry but it was so amazing and you totally reminded me of it, thank you.

Right after I turned on my phone to write it to my friend and I found a text of my gf breaking up with me. Shitty as that.

I am living in a country that it's not mine, having a good job, learning things and the language, being into therapy, living on my own... but I know sooner or later I will be back in my country, where everything is a bit worse and I will have to stay for a while (until I'll find a decent job) with my family again, thing that I totally can not do.

And I will turn 25 this year. I don't know though, life is strange. I wanted to live on my own by my 25th birthday and here I am, getting better with anxiety and recovering from many many shitty things of the past... and still I never feel like I fit in, in any situation ever. Meh. Being an adult is weird, but I guess in a good way.

Thank you! Interesting coincidence.

I know how you feel, my df broke up with me some 2 months ago and it is still so raw

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the bumbling rotifer

Anyway, I'm happy to be a part of this community and am looking for some peeps to connect with so feel free to message or add me!

Welcome to AVEN, justalittledifferent! :D...

Today I'm 24

...And Happy Birthday, Ghosting! :cake: :cake: :cake:

Ghosting (HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! :cake: )

I'm not sure why, Skri, but your post reminded me that it's Daniel Barker's birthday today :lol:

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Amy Ghost

Today I'm 24

...And Happy Birthday, Ghosting! :cake: :cake: :cake:

Thank you :3

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DeadandLovely

Almost 26 ;)

Don't figure life out it's not always going to go as planned. Just ride the ride and enjoy! If you are constantly planning your future and/or looking at the past you will NEVER live in the NOW. Remember that your NOW will someday be your past and you don't want to look back and rememeber how miserable you were. BY living in the NOW you are pleasing your past self and future self.

Also time is more valuable then money and a job doesn't make you.

DON'T WORRY BE HAPPY!

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HeartfulPeach

I am turning 24 this July...

And I am still looking for a purpose in life. So far I am living my life just to "enjoy" what it brings, like sweets and new experiences. But I'm tired of it, everything seems so pointless. Luckily I have the money to keep on living without any worries for a few years but I don't think I will last long enough if I don't find something worth living for. Yes, I could keep on living doing what I want and not necessarily having a purpose in life but I don't feel like having a life like that.

I will just keep on hoping something will come my way (a good something, that is). I am planning on moving to Europe to see if a change of atmosphere or the interaction with people from a different culture will help. I hope it does, it's the main reason I'm doing this.

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rebellious hellion

I'm 22, and I finally just figured out what I want to do with my psychology degree.

nXkfqwt.gif

After spending five years studying it, and then graduating- I finally know what I want to do. My list of goals moved from "I'M GONNA GET A DEGREE IN PSYCHOLOGY!!!!" to "CCCCCounselling!" to "....sex therapy?" and finally to "ADVOCACY WORK FOR LGBTQIA+ INDIVIDUALS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I spent four years worrying about what I'd do after graduation, because I didn't know what i wanted to do, but now I feel more..solid for the future. It's just going to be the GREs, applying to specific grad programs, and then getting acceptance/rejection letters that's gonna drain everything out of me. (ESPECIALLY MONEY BECAUSE THEY MAKE YOU PAY JUST TO BE REJECTED FROM THEIR SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Right now, I'm taking a year off from school to finish the above list, and I'm supposed to be moving into an apartment in a month or so but now I'm nervous because of money and keeping myself afloat. People say that even $15 is barely enough to live off of, but there aren't many places around here that pay even half that much, and I have to not only rent to pay but student loans too.

tumblr_lqroe46SQb1r0ote0o1_500.gif

HAHAHAH AND I ALSO JUST REALIZED THAT IT's $160 TO TAKE THE GREs WOW FML

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the bumbling rotifer

I'm 22, and I finally just figured out what I want to do with my psychology degree.

After spending five years studying it, and then graduating- I finally know what I want to do. My list of goals moved from "I'M GONNA GET A DEGREE IN PSYCHOLOGY!!!!" to "CCCCCounselling!" to "....sex therapy?" and finally to "ADVOCACY WORK FOR LGBTQIA+ INDIVIDUALS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

That's awesome, Stardust! :D :D :D

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the bumbling rotifer

Just for your information, I've put up a poll to decide what we should do with the pinned threads in oldies (and don't worry, I'm not going to touch the age-specific threads :P).



Everyone's opinions are welcome!

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Skri

Ghosting (HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! :cake: ) yesterday there was a girl in Camden with a FREE HUGS sign and I hugged her! :wub: omg yeah sorry but it was so amazing and you totally reminded me of it, thank you.

Right after I turned on my phone to write it to my friend and I found a text of my gf breaking up with me. Shitty as that.

I am living in a country that it's not mine, having a good job, learning things and the language, being into therapy, living on my own... but I know sooner or later I will be back in my country, where everything is a bit worse and I will have to stay for a while (until I'll find a decent job) with my family again, thing that I totally can not do.

And I will turn 25 this year. I don't know though, life is strange. I wanted to live on my own by my 25th birthday and here I am, getting better with anxiety and recovering from many many shitty things of the past... and still I never feel like I fit in, in any situation ever. Meh. Being an adult is weird, but I guess in a good way.

Thank you! Interesting coincidence.

I know how you feel, my df broke up with me some 2 months ago and it is still so raw

I'm so sorry to read that

Here some cake for make the mood better (yeah I know it doesn't really work this way, but still many cakes are funny to see so at least it's something :D ) :cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake:

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Skri

Ghosting (HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! :cake: )

I'm not sure why, Skri, but your post reminded me that it's Daniel Barker's birthday today :lol:

Didn't know, happy birthday as well!! :) :)

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deltaX

UPDATE: Offically unpacked and moved into my summer dorm room. I'm having issues with not having a parking pass even though I was promised there would be one waiting for me when I arrived, but other than that things are good. I think I can actually do this!! :D

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bookaccino

I got my dream job when I was 22. Now I'm 27 and facing layoffs. I have no idea what I'll do if I get axed.

And to think of all the things I sacrificed for this job... normal hours, a social life, my sanity...

Ugh.

I saw this earlier post and noticed a few people talking about jobs. I've looked around in my area just in case the worst ever happens, and I would look into apprenticeships and bluecollar work. They have great training (which is paid) and decent pay with increasing increments as you work your way up the experience scale. Its a safe plan "B" if you're able to do it.

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awkwardfeminist

UPDATE: Offically unpacked and moved into my summer dorm room. I'm having issues with not having a parking pass even though I was promised there would be one waiting for me when I arrived, but other than that things are good. I think I can actually do this!! :D

How exciting!!! :D

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Plato187

Hi, Teagan! I'm Ismira and I'm 27, and totally lost is quite common at our age from what I hear!

I discovered this late in my twenties, but you really don't get things figured out until you're closer to 35-40... I thought my life would be all figured out by the time I got to 25! I would be done with college. I would have a husband. I would have a stable job. I would be paying down my school loans. I would be merry and happy and life would be good!

WRONG!

I'm still in college, haven't ever been in a relationship, have a job but it's part-time retail, paid down my school loans a bit but then went back for more, and while I am generally happy I also have a lot of stress about the things mentioned previously.

So... that's the twenties for ya! Full of stress, Ramen noodles, and trying to figure out why you don't have it figured out yet!!

Hi Ismira,

It doesn't have to be "filled with stress" as you say. My situation is similar to yours but the stress that you're experiencing comes from comparing your life to others. Many of the cousins in my age group on my father's side of the family are married with children and home mortgages not to mention student loans. Would I want to trade places with them?? Not for a long shot!

As a person who was formally in a relationship leading towards marriage it was very suffocating and even more confusing to "find myself" when in companionship with someone who had traditional expectations including sex and children.

Here is my question to you: Do you want a husband because that is what you feel society wants you to have or is this a genuine desire of your heart?...My best friend is divorced and has been constantly talking about how she wants a new husband when she doesn't even enjoy intimacy with men. I think that we just become conditioned to the point of even ignoring the facts of our situation.

Being in a relationship is like regressing back to childhood in so many ways. Calling and checking in with the significant other and asking permission to go out and being given an unofficial curfew. Not to mention much, much compromise of your own personal ambitions for an overall reality that may not even align with your feelings and values...Is this worth it??

Having a retail job is still a source of income plus it's the kind of job that you don't have to "take home with you." It suits you for the season of life that you're in. I'd much rather enjoy a college life where I come home to peace and have my own personal space and freedom to create platonic bonds with friends, go on trips, and look to life with a sense of thrill and adventure rather than come home to a husband and screaming babies who are a 24/7 job in and of itself.

Truthfully, even if you were fulfilled in all the listed criteria there would still be reason to stress. Peace is cultivated from our perspective on things.

Hope this helps.

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