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Float On

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Float On

I'm 25 and I'm randomly moving to a different state at the end of the month to be closer to a friend because I've not had any proper friends in 6 years and I'm a lonely loser. I've never moved by myself before and this is a crap ton of adult responsibility that I'm not sure I'm prepared for. STRESSSSSSSSS. It's a long move and I'm really confused about what I want to do when I get there, but I'm hoping in the end this will be good for me. If nothing else it will be an experience and I need more of those in my life.

I wish you many lucks!!!!

I think I am gonna move away from "hometown" sometime in the future... but i have so much financial question marks right now... and way too much junk packed in my closets

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Bezzy-Loo

I'm... huh, turning 27 this year. Still feels like high school was just a few years ago.

I've gone through college and have a bachelor's degree, but haven't done to well and getting a job related to my major, despite it actually being pretty in demand. In part, there's a lot of newer things in demand that I haven't explored. Mostly, I'm just really bad at interviews and talking myself up in general. I have had a few temporary jobs, but nothing stable yet. And to be honest... I'm thrilled to be starting a part-time job that doesn't involve sitting at a desk all day presently, even though it means I'm getting paid maybe half of what I'm supposedly "worth."

I lived on my own for a few months, and have had a mix of roommates. I presently share a house with my boyfriend and two others, but in several months, when we're all a little more financially stable, we'll be parting ways and I'll be living with just my boyfriend again. He's looking forward to a rest-of-our-lives home as soon as possible. Myself, I don't like the packing and unpacking, and I would like to be allowed to make modifications to my home, but I'me otherwise fine with moving and enjoy being in new places. The plan is to find a home base (when we can afford it) and just travel from there.

Neither my boyfriend or I have a car, and I don't even have a driver's licence (yay decent public transportation!). I do intend to try finally getting one this year. I haven't gotten one because I'm afraid of driving due to my attention span, but I do understand that I really need to get over it. I could get places so much faster and easier - like cutting the 2-hour commute of my previous job to just a half hour or so.

I am presently unmarried, but do have plans to marry once we have the money for it. The tricky part is families - they live nowhere near each other, and we live nowhere near either of them. We're going to have to travel, and we want to be able to help my immediate family travel if necessary for them to make it (both of our families are pretty big, but his is much more close-knit). After that... even pretty basic wedding requirements (certificate, name change, having a place to marry, having someone licensed to legally marry...) are a bit costly.

So... that's where my life is at right now.

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WinterM

Welcome aboard, Bezzy-Loo.

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the bumbling rotifer

Hello everyone, I hope you don't mind a late addition to this thread :)

I'm... huh, turning 27 this year. Still feels like high school was just a few years ago.

I've gone through college and have a bachelor's degree, but haven't done to well and getting a job related to my major, despite it actually being pretty in demand. In part, there's a lot of newer things in demand that I haven't explored. Mostly, I'm just really bad at interviews and talking myself up in general.

A belated welcome to AVEN, Bezzy-Loo. I turned 28 a few weeks ago, and in many ways feel the same way: I know it's a cliche to say that time flies, but it really does. It's ten years since I left home. Ten years! How did that happen?

I think a lot of us are having / have had trouble finding work related to our qualifications. The jobs market is a strange place at the moment. There are good opportunities out there, but they're few and far between, and seem to take a lot of work, a hefty dollop of luck and some lateral thinking in order to find them. I think one factor that makes it harder to find good employment is the fact that most of us don't have the resources to sustain ourselves for very long while we're job hunting, so we end up taking whatever work we can find, and then get stuck in it.

I can relate to what you were saying about job interviews: we spend all of these years in the education system, memorising facts and learning how to think, but we never learn how to interview for a job. The first ever job interview that I had was a disaster: they kept on asking me to give an example of a situation in which I've displayed a given skill, and it completely flawed me. I had no idea that job interviews were often like this, and was too nervous and shocked to think on my feet. I'm squirming now just thinking about it!

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Gallantrv2427

Hey guys, My name is Becca and I will be 22 in the next two weeks. I am putting my final touches on my BA in Sociology and Deviant Behavior...my degree is thankfully not useless but unfortunately my inability to decide on one career is making it really hard to see myself actually using it any

time soon. I have experience in art, science, history, criminal justice/policing, education, religion and many many more.

I've lived away from home full-time for about 3 years now and I love it, it's very freeing and I am worried about abandoning that freedom for a little while while I get adjusted back home in New England...I've been lost for so long, and I feel like I am just grabbing for bits and pieces here and there. Knowing I am asexual, and there are people like me out there (somewhere) has given me some hope but it's been tough and it's only getting tougher for now.

I think it's important to note that I have major single-episode depression so I am in kind of a "low" all the time, with occasional episodes where I cannot function well at all beyond just eating and sleeping and generally feeling sorry for myself.

I'm trying so hard to break beyond this identity crisis.

I hope some kind of clarity comes soon, or that I can find someone who can be lost with me,

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Float On

very much luck, Becca! In times like these, we take things one step at a time.. we get there eventually :)

Today, for the first time in months, I finally was able to like, you know, actually be productive the majority of the time, for the full day :D :D I'm so pleased with myself...

granted, the anxiety is still there... it only powered me with energy... thinking back I wonder, if this is the life I must lead... but, I think as long as I can maintain it like I did today, then I am actually just fine. Because anxiety is not equivalent to stress, and today I was pretty much stress-free :) I know that, somehow, I am usually happy... but it is so overcast by my anxiety/stress that I would not fill out a survey to say "today I was happy"; but today, I would :)

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Autumn Sunrise

Hi Becca, it's not unusual to feel confused and unable to make decisions when you are on the brink of a big change in your life. Don't be afraid to give yourself some time/space to sort out your thoughts and feelings about yourself and your future.

You are in the right place - AVEN is a very supportive community, and you can find understanding friends here as well as help and advice from others who have had similar experiences and faced the same problems that you have. You can have something better here than someone who can be lost with you - you can find friends who will walk beside you while you find yourself.

You have the whole of your life ahead of you, and it's worthwhile taking some time to find out what you want to do next. Don't be afraid to ask for help whenever you need it. Good luck :)

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Gallantrv2427

Hi Becca, it's not unusual to feel confused and unable to make decisions when you are on the brink of a big change in your life. Don't be afraid to give yourself some time/space to sort out your thoughts and feelings about yourself and your future.

You are in the right place - AVEN is a very supportive community, and you can find understanding friends here as well as help and advice from others who have had similar experiences and faced the same problems that you have. You can have something better here than someone who can be lost with you - you can find friends who will walk beside you while you find yourself.

You have the whole of your life ahead of you, and it's worthwhile taking some time to find out what you want to do next. Don't be afraid to ask for help whenever you need it. Good luck :)

Thank you so much Autumn! Hopefully things will be sorted out soon--I'm looking into Johnson & Wales for a 2-year culinary program once I have settled back up North. :)

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Autumn Sunrise

Good luck with that, Becca - let us know how you get on!

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ranting ferret

graduated with an art degree. loved getting it. i learned things about myself i'm pretty sure wouldn't have happened in any other major.

but here am i, a few years later and i have struggled to get an adequate job for a good chunk of time. certainly nothing that lets me use art. but i've been able to be creative on my own at home. that, at least has sustained my sanity a bit. i tried grad school in art therapy. something i looked up in my last year of undergrad and loved the idea. but it didn't work out. i found out a lot about it that proved it wasn't for me. some had to do with the community and some had to do with other things within and outside the program. so i left it after a year, fighting some of the worst depression i'd had in a while. 2 months after officially leaving the program, fired from the full time job i had over something that wasn't fully my fault (administrators weren't following rules, something went wrong, i took the hit).

no i work in a part time job. not bad, i like my coworkers and manger. but it's not enough hours and not enough pay. i need something more. i've been applying nearly everywhere around me with no responses except a few rejections. parents are gracious enough to help with my loans, but i'm hurting. i want to go back to school...but just for more art. art has gotten me through a lot of things, if i could make sustainable money from that....well, it's my day dream i can't always decide if i believe in it enough. it seem so far out there right now. i feel lost and stuck and lonely. so i art, hoping my materials see me through to the next i can replenish them.


and when i really need to remember things, i refer to this, among other words:

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Float On

I think you are doing wonderfully, ferret. Earning a degree is a huge milestone, and loving the degree means so much more too! Finding our place in the world doesn't happen overnight, and many people have told me that things turned out to surprise them too.

today I finished moving out of the apartment, and checked out with the people. They were friendly, which was helpful... the manager said that he would be surprised if I didn't get back the full security deposit... I will hear in 30 days...

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Autumn Sunrise

Ferret, I admire you for your hard work and perseverance. Creativity is a wonderful gift, and I hope you'll have the opportunity to use yours in a good job before too much longer. In the meantime, I'm glad that you have supportive parents.

Good luck with your job seeking!

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CosineTheCat

Woot woot!

I didn't even know this thread existed, I should go more into the forum that I normally don't enter much because you never know what you're going to find!

Now, I'm not 20 yet, I'll be in... oh my gosh I just realized a month and a half. Eh, it just felt like I turned 19, oh well. Right now I'm in a transitional period of my life, I'm currently living on my own, I've been accepted into university to study Chemistry, and I'm trying to make friends in the area I live in. Which Honestly seems harder than chem ever is.

Right now, I'm job hunting, I have to get from right now, till the fall when I'm in university. Sadly, where I live, three big retail stores just went out of business, so I'm unfortunately having a very hard time finding a job. Oh well, some time I'll find one and I'll hate it til university starts!

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Striped Sweater

graduated with an art degree. loved getting it. i learned things about myself i'm pretty sure wouldn't have happened in any other major.

but here am i, a few years later and i have struggled to get an adequate job for a good chunk of time. certainly nothing that lets me use art. but i've been able to be creative on my own at home. that, at least has sustained my sanity a bit. i tried grad school in art therapy. something i looked up in my last year of undergrad and loved the idea. but it didn't work out. i found out a lot about it that proved it wasn't for me. some had to do with the community and some had to do with other things within and outside the program. so i left it after a year, fighting some of the worst depression i'd had in a while. 2 months after officially leaving the program, fired from the full time job i had over something that wasn't fully my fault (administrators weren't following rules, something went wrong, i took the hit).

no i work in a part time job. not bad, i like my coworkers and manger. but it's not enough hours and not enough pay. i need something more. i've been applying nearly everywhere around me with no responses except a few rejections. parents are gracious enough to help with my loans, but i'm hurting. i want to go back to school...but just for more art. art has gotten me through a lot of things, if i could make sustainable money from that....well, it's my day dream i can't always decide if i believe in it enough. it seem so far out there right now. i feel lost and stuck and lonely. so i art, hoping my materials see me through to the next i can replenish them.

and when i really need to remember things, i refer to this, among other words:

I can definitely relate to this. I've been out of school for almost a year now, and it has been a struggle finding any art related work, especially locally. Out of all the places I've applied to since then, only one has even bothered to send me a rejection, and I consider myself extremely lucky if I even make it to the first interview stage. So I currently work a job I easily could have had before college and am not getting paid enough to live on my own.

I'm starting to feel really stuck (and dependent, which I hate even more), and like I need to do something drastic for anything new to happen. What I have here is clearly not working, and it's getting really discouraging. And I can only be told "things will eventually work out" so many times.

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Fondanty Thoughts

I'm with you guys here... it's really scary not knowing where you'll end up or to be in that weird transitional stage. A lot of my self-worth is tied up in having a job and helping people... without that I feel lost and depressed.

I'm new to the site... I'm 24 years old, about to graduate with my master's degree. I'm hoping to go onto a PhD program, but I've been waitlisted at my top picks. I was encouraged to apply to some back up schools (the programs I applied to were like.. the top in my field), and stupidly, I replied "Go big or go home!" Who knows? I probably will end up going home and eating my words. I will hopefully figure out in the next few weeks where I'll be, but it's the scariest experience not knowing. I feel like a failure for not getting in right off the bat, but I'm trying to keep it in perspective (which is difficult).

I'm afraid that I'm going to graduate in a month with no job/graduate school offers. If that happens, I'll end up back at my parent's house. I'm lucky that they'll support that, but it's really hard to go home. My mom has been trying to understand asexuality (of all the people in my family, I felt like she'd try the hardest to understand what I'm going through/wouldn't dismiss me), but my dad is outright hostile towards things he doesn't agree with or understand, which would include asexuality, politics, or just my general opinion on current events. Right now, I live with my boyfriend of four years, who has been the absolute best supporter of my asexuality and of my general well-being. Ideally, I'd want to be with him, but without me having a job, it just doesn't make sense to go with him until I do.

So yeah. It's great to know I'm not alone in going through all this. I've never had the chance to speak to another person who identified as asexual, and I didn't even know I was asexual until several months ago. If anyone is interested in chatting more, or making a friend, I'm around.

Sending positive vibes your way, and thanks for reading :)

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Remmirath

I'm twenty-five and have been out of college for a couple of years now, although I decided against getting a degree in the end. I've been working towards getting a steady amount of work as an illustrator for the past year, but have only had very limited success so far -- I know I need to work a lot more on marketing, but that's a whole rather daunting world there. I've also on-and-off entertained dreams of writing since I was young, and have recently decided that I'm at least going to give it a good shot. I also do theatre, which so far (oddly enough, I suppose) is actually where I'm making the most of my money -- well, aside from the occasional web design job I've taken. This year I've been feeling a bit like I'm treading water and not going much of anywhere, which is an annoying feeling. Luckily, I'm still able to live with my family and help out around the house in exchange for paying my share of the rent, so I'm doing okay... but the knowledge that, were that not so, I wouldn't be is something upsetting.

Yeah. Not really sure what to do about it, but that's how I've been feeling lately. Once this current show is over I'm hoping to actually get things together, but that's what I was hoping last year and little has come of that so far, so it's not as encouraging as it could be. I can't stand the idea of working a desk job (or worse, one where I need to interact with people much of the day) for most of my life -- I know myself well enough to know that my sanity, or at least well-being, wouldn't hold up well to that -- so I'm determined to make one of my actual interests work for me, but it's frustrating at times.

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Striped Sweater

I've been working towards getting a steady amount of work as an illustrator for the past year, but have only had very limited success so far -- I know I need to work a lot more on marketing, but that's a whole rather daunting world there.

MARKETING. My nemesis. Can't I just make the pretty pictures?

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the bumbling rotifer

I think there may be some truth to the "things will eventually work out" cliché. I used to feel that my peers and I had been working hard all through our twenties, and that it never really got us anywhere: we did our degrees; we struggled to find work, and ended up working less-than-ideal contracts. It seemed to me as though this was just the order of things in the 21st century, but just recently, things seem to have changed. It feels like we've reached a critical mass of experience, and now we're getting the jobs that we go for; it feels like all of the work we put in earlier in our twenties is finally paying off.

I realise that this information isn't very helpful: it's not something that changes anything while you're still in the stage of fighting so hard and not getting anywhere. But just stick in there, eat lots of cake, and know that one day things will be easier. :cake:

I'm new to the site... I'm 24 years old, about to graduate with my master's degree. I'm hoping to go onto a PhD program

Welcome, fondantythoughts!

You can't just tell us that you've done a Masters and are thinking of doing a PhD without telling us what field of research you're interested in :p. Now we're all curious, and you've left us hanging!

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844276

\\I don't know about you, but I'm feeling 22...//

So I will soon graduate college while abroad. I left high school early, and have for about 6 years now split my time between school and work. I pay a good part of the bills, though we get a disability check for our mother, and my older sister works part of part time so she can care for our mother. My current university is 15 minutes away so that's a key factor in my success (along with my sister's selflessness). Understandably, I feel stuck because I don't want to work retail forever but my family needs me and there's no local job market for my degree.

-J

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Fondanty Thoughts

Haha sorry bumbling (still working out how to more directly reply to posts) I'm a writing studies researcher. Right now, I'm doing archival research on the Purdue OWL, but I'd like to move onto something with video games and connecting that back to writing center work. I'd like to someday run my own writing center, but most places want you to have the PhD in hand for that kind of job.

J: That's definitely a tough situation trying to balance your needs and the needs of your family. I'm glad you were able to take advantage of the study abroad experience and of having such a close university to your home! Eventually, you will have to make the best decision for yourself and your family. I had some friends in a similar situation who took different approaches on it, and I don't think either choice is wrong. The friend who chose to go farther for school is able to give more back financially because of the extra time in school and the other has been such a huge help to his family and community. Regardless of what happens, your family is lucky to have you.

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awkwardfeminist

I'm in that terrible phase of being almost done with uni and applying for jobs and not even getting interviews for jobs that are related to my degree, which is making me feel down and cranky while also having to finish my thesis in order to actually get my MA (in Gender Studies). On the bright side, I kind of have a temporary job for the summer but I still don't have any idea how many hours it will actually be or if it will work out (I'll be a care assistant of sorts - I don't know what the English term is - and it will just be me and the other person, so whether we get along is very important). And anyway, most of the study-related job openings that are starting in the fall haven't been posted yet, but the constant stream of no's that I'm getting are definitely wearing me down. I'd like to get a PhD - that's essentially the only thing this MA has prepared me for - but there are very few openings here and my professors are encouraging me to look abroad (like, at the US and Canada. So far away!) which is also disappointing and tiresome.

At least I'll be in the same city as my family and I'll be able to drown potential unemployment feels in cuddling my sibling's second baby that is due in the summer and have someone to hang out with.

And it's almost time for me to move into my new apartment!! (I think I've posted about it here before?) It's exciting but also stresses me out because that means my thesis deadline is coming, too.

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Fondanty Thoughts

Figured I'd send a quick update. I now officially know I'm not going anywhere for my PhD this year. I'm trying to stay positive-- I try to think of all the things I could do by moving back in with my parents... save some money. Get published. Try the GRE again to maybe raise my scores. Apply again. And maybe I'll find a job I love and I won't need a PhD. These are all good things, and I know I'll use my time wisely. It feels wrong to complain about moving back home given all the benefits of going back. But, I'll be really sad to move out of the apartment my boyfriend and I have shared for the past two years. I'll miss living with him, and I'll miss being with him. He wants to try and move out by me to be closer, and it's just a matter of both of us finding good jobs to save for next year. It'll be a hard, weird, school-less year.

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Meally

Oh my god! I'm not alone!!!!

I just graduated University, and am now living with my parents in Dubai trying to find a job in the film industry (behind the scenes!) and constantly am hounded by my mum as I dont have any friends here, I'm pretty darn shy so the thought of going to random meetups and activity groups is terrifying and she is just generally on my case for not looking harder for a job or having friends and a social life.

Why didn't Perter Pan come collect me when i was younger?! I left my window ajar and a note for him and everything!!!! Sheesh, so inconsiderate.

I guess I shouldn't complain, I do have it pretty good, I at least dont have to pay any bills at the moment (do have to check up on my student loans though :/) but I'm glad that others feel as overwhelmed as I do. I feel like the world has lied to me, when exactly am I supposed to feel like an adult?

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RedOwl

I'm 24 and after doing my university degree I started working as a waitress and found out that I liked it a lot and that I wasn't bad at it.

But after almost two years of doing it I know it's not what I want to do for the rest of my life. I'm afraid it's too late to change now, and I wouldn't know what else to do anyway.

I moved to England this January to get a job. I like being here but I miss my country, though I know I'll never find a job there which makes me really sad sometimes.

It has its advantages of course, and being able to be independent is a really nice feeling, but I can't help to want something else in life than just waking up every morning to get to work and then back home. Every day the same.

Add to that the fact that I can't seem to find a work place where the manager is not crazy or angry 90% of the time.

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Lynxe

I'm 24 and after doing my university degree I started working as a waitress and found out that I liked it a lot and that I wasn't bad at it.

But after almost two years of doing it I know it's not what I want to do for the rest of my life. I'm afraid it's too late to change now, and I wouldn't know what else to do anyway.

I moved to England this January to get a job. I like being here but I miss my country, though I know I'll never find a job there which makes me really sad sometimes.

It has its advantages of course, and being able to be independent is a really nice feeling, but I can't help to want something else in life than just waking up every morning to get to work and then back home. Every day the same.

Add to that the fact that I can't seem to find a work place where the manager is not crazy or angry 90% of the time.

*hugs for you* Where in the UK are you?

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dandelionfluff

Hmm I have never seen this. I never bothered to look in the Older Asexuals forum because I assumed it would be for much older people. I mean, 20's is barely old LOL.

I feel so behind from everyone, especially seeing 24 year olds with Master's and I don't even have my Bachelor's yet. :/ But eh, everyone has their own path. I am currently at university studying Modern Languages with a concentration in Japanese. I actually plan to take up Mandarin this summer since I don't plan on taking summer classes. In the fall I plan on taking the Mandarin class. If I absolutely love it then I may take up Mandarin as my minor. That, or creative writing. I was an English major at community college but really didn't like it. I have an Associate's in English though. Career wise I really have no idea what I want to do. My lifelong goal was (is?) to write, and I have no doubt I can do that, but that's not really a career. As far at the languages go, I would love to do translating, but again, that's not really a steady career either. I know that once I get my Bachelor's I'm going to investigate job opportunities abroad, be it in Japan, Taiwan, or possibly even Korea (I keep seeing these Teach in Korea pamphlets around campus and they are awfully enticing). All I know is that I want to live abroad and make somewhat of a living in my target countries and be able to use the languages I'm learning on a regular basis, preferably as a part of my job/career. English teaching seems to be the best bet, so I may just go with that. I know of people who started teaching English abroad and then assimilated enough into the country to be able to get a non-teaching job there. So who knows!

I'm late in continuing school so I'm older than most people. I don't feel too bad since there are a lot of students who are older than me, and I know lots of people around me who haven't finished school yet and are older than me. The way I see it is everyone has there own path and not everyone accomplishes the same things at pre-programmed ages. Plus, I'm just glad that I'm back in school now because I feel like getting a Bachelor's can make a big difference. But as far as my definite future, I'm a big ball of confusion lol. For now I just want to graduate!

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Blakrana

23 and have a degree in Philosophy.

Admittedly, it's rather frustrating. I want to have a job, but I just get bounced around the usual 'we'll get back to you' which tends to end in the automated 'thanks but no' problem. Which then isn't helped by the Job centre whatsoever. "Do you really want a job?", "Didn't you plan a career?" Gets rather old, exasperated by tendency for some of them to pronounce my name incorrectly in the feminine form. Add in insisting I consider myself disabled whilst acting surprised my chronic condition is still...you know...there.

Just got to be patient but...somewhat strained.

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RJ5

Hi, Ill be 28 in a couple months. Ive had a bit of a weird round about journey of discovery in my sexuality trying out different things to see if maybe it sparked something in me that I liked or enjoyed, but it didnt. Im ok with that, Ive been single now for just over a year and am really thoroughly enjoying the lack of sexual pressure that goes hand in hand with being single. I think if you had explained Asexual to me as a young teen, I would have gone yeah thats me and things would have clicked into place, but oh well I have got there in the end! Although I have felt like this for a long long time Im pretty new on the scene.

Thanks for being so welcoming and helpful.

-RJ

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Heart

How long have I been on AVEN? And it has never occurred to me to check in the pinned threads here for something for 20's people until I get overly procrastinatey. Does this make us old? Because I refuse to believe that! ;)

Though, there are some moments when I think "It's been a decade since..."... oops. Maybe I'm just a tad teeny little bit oldish?

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b_oat

20s isn't old ☺. Job market is always a strange place. I work in the IT industry but I'm not sure that I want to do that for the rest of my life but it's the only thing I learnt to do and changing that mid-20s is hard on the other hand I don't know what I would like else. Currently trying to learn new things (like languages) maybe that'll help me someday to do other jobs.

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