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Float On

For 20-somethings getting their feet off the ground

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cewalter

I'm turning 20 soon and I'm pretty confident in what I'm gonna be doing for the rest of my life. I wasn't sure until a few months ago and there's definitely still a chance I'll change my mind again, but for now I'm pretty comfortable!

Life is weird, but also really cool

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awkwardfeminist

Hi!

I'm a newbie on here but very glad to find a thread for 20 somethings. I'm 24, working on my MA thesis and (hopefully) graduating from uni in June. I'm living at home with my parents right now after sub-letting an apartment and going on an exchange, but it's actually quite nice (my parents and I have always gotten along very well) and it helps that it feels very temporary. I'll hopefully get my own place in a couple of months, I'm currently waiting to here back from a very nice, tiny one bedroom apartment and procrastinating from my thesis by planning how I'll decorate it. I'm usually pretty chill about the future (though I do like planning - knowing what I'll be doing for the next year so is probably what keeps me chill) but as graduation is coming closer, the angst about that is setting in. I've been applying for lots of jobs and getting no interviews, but it's still early to be looking for anything so I'm hoping for more realistic options to show up when it's really time. I've been having a lot of thoughts about being an "adult" recently because my oldest sibling is in a period of having a second kid and looking at houses with her partner, and lots of my old classmates already have at least one kid. Babies everywhere!

I'm hoping to find a part time job soon to sooth my pre-graduation nerves.

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Perseus

23 year. That was the age I discovered my Demisexuality. I identify as Demi-homosexual and love who I am. I feel free and happy knowing who I am. Being on this site make things even better. I have never felt so close to flying without be it the air.

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awkwardfeminist

I got an apartment today! Move in isn't until May, but I'm excited. It's tiny, but cheap (surprisingly so!), newly renovated and I can pretty much live there for as long as I like. I also applied for a job that I really want but probably won't get, but I won't hear back for weeks (I applied way ahead of deadline too). Today is a pretty good day for me, even if I was terribly unproductive in regards to my thesis. Meh.

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Sage Raven Domino

Congrats!!! :cake: I guess you're already thinking about some fancy decoration of your new home.

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ThaHoward

Since when did 20's become "older"? I think I will hit my midlife crisis soon :unsure:

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WinterM

Try a quarter-life crisis. I hear those are trendy.

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artandceramics

trendy trendy~~! quarter-life crisis go~!

I'm freaking out S O M U C H.

I have a pretty solid idea of what I want to do and keep doing with my life.

Enabling it is the most difficult part.

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ThaHoward

Your mind often set the most limitations.

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LyraHW

My sister's planning her 30th birthday.... which means my 29th will follow 19 days later.... and I'll be camping (not GLAMping) in Wales for it cos she's having to celebrate her birthday late :S

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Guest Melmoth.

25 here, I also had the whole image in my head of being sorted by the time I reached this age when I was younger.

Since entering my twenties I've come to the conclusion I won't be able to make a living from my passion. I've come to terms with that, I can still pursue it regardless, it'll be the thing that'll help keep my sanity. After working a couple of recent temp jobs I found myself out of a job again. I'm trying to find something that will have something to do with my degree but am losing hope and will most likely just start applying for data entry/admin type roles so I have some money coming in and can get on with my life.

One positive that I have drawn from my twenties is at the age of 25 I am now more confident about who I am as a person that I have been previously. I think that was partly to do with finding AVEN and discovering asexuality. I've also come to terms with being quite an introverted/loner type person. Despite everything I wouldn't trade being 25 for being a teenager again, having that experience is enough in one lifetime.

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afflitto

I'm Mano and I'm 23, turning 24 next week. I'm in grad school for microbiology.

I've only recently put a name to my asexuality, as I was introduced to the term and community a year ago at the most. Still, I find that it describes me perfectly and helps answer a lot of questions about myself. However, I struggle with it a lot, and I don't feel like I have a very good support system in real life. None of my friends are ace. Those who believe me shrug it off, like I'm making a huge fuss over nothing, and those who don't get uncomfortable if I even bring it up. In both situations, I've learned to just not talk about my sexuality. In a lot of ways I feel like I'm wired wrong.

I sort of might have a boyfriend, but the whole situation is stressing me out to the point where I want to vomit. He respects me, but I can also tell that he is heterosexual. I did mention my asexuality before he asked me out, but I have no clue if he remembers or understands what that means. It seems inappropriate to bring up sex so early in a relationship (especially because both of us have religious roots), so I don't know how to let him know--plus I don't know how well he will receive it. I don't know if he'll believe that it's real or if he'll take it personally somehow. I'm somewhat convinced that it'll be a deal-breaker, or I will be forced into compromising at the expense of my own comfort, somehow. But at the same time I really like him, and I rarely click with anyone so well. I also just don't want to trap him, and I feel like I'm somehow cheating him out of something just by being the way that I am. Words cannot describe the self-loathing I've felt lately. I just wish there was a situation where it is okay to just be me without feeling like I am somehow broken.

Other than that, things are okay. It's nice to be independent and living in my own place. I had a really REALLY bad roommate situation the 5 months before this, but I am finally free of that! Grad school stipend isn't exactly rolling in riches, but I get by. I've also found that I've made a lot of friends since moving to this town, which isn't something I am familiar with. Sure I had friends in college, but not an overabundance. I guess I just click with the other science folks!

It's funny, though. I was really terrified of going to grad school. This is a huge risk and I always feel as if I am not smart or talented enough for the big steps in life. I didn't even know if I really wanted to even become a scientist. But being here and being in the lab and learning the scientific method has kind of affirmed that this is the right way, at least for now. I think I've finally found the right place for me. The trick is to keep my grades up and not piss off my PI, i guess, so I can STAY. I keep telling myself that it'll be okay, so that's what I'm going to have to believe. I've missed out on some good opportunities because I was afraid to try. Not this time!!

As I sit here ignoring my real life issues, my one big concern is locating a couch so I can have some seating in this apartment. Oddly, I want something red, that I can decorate with white cushions. My living room is pretty empty as is. At least I have a proper bed and plenty of nice cooking utensils!

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Autumn Sunrise

Welcome to AVEN and this thread, Mano :cake::cake::cake: This is a very friendly and supportive community; I'm sure you'll connect with other members whose experiences have been similar to yours, and this may help you - at least you'll feel less alone. And, you know, you're not "broken" - asexuality is just one of a whole range of sexual orientations. I do hope you find you find some new friends here, and come to a better understanding of yourself and your sexuality.

PS Grad school sounds awesome, and I hope you manage to find that red couch, and the white cushions :)

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aventura

Ana, 25 years-old, an unsociable Brazilian who has lived in US for almost 11 years.

Mostly, my biggest struggle right now is figuring out my sexuality, although there are a lot of other things going on in my life.

I'm a sophomore in college, and intend to get into nursing school. Hopefully by fall of 2017 I will be in it.

I also work part-time in retail, I have very little money and I live with my parents.

As I've previously mentioned, my sexuality is an issue for me, right now. I am a virgin and I have never been in a relationship before. The main reason for that is my aversion to sex. I've know about asexuality for some time, but I don't know if I would call myself an asexual, or if I actually have some sort of psychological problem which has led to an aversion to sex. Regardless, I know that I'm fine with not having sex. If it is a psychological issue, I don't want to fix it, because sex is unnatural, gross, and uncomfortable, and I don't want to be involved in it. However, I do get aroused, but not by anything in particular, and that can be frustrating, because although that happens, I don't want to ever have to have sex. It's very confusing. I also don't want to be alone forever, but I don't want to be in a relationship because most people are sexual and having sex is a natural component of a relationship, to most people. It sucks. I'm just lost. I'm also scared, and maybe even a little bit ashamed.

At least I can sort of be myself online.

And I'm sorry for the long post. I need to get it out of my system.

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Tarfeather

Hm, why not?

24 yo male university student here who lives alone and off his own savings (and before that government welfare for students). My mother was unemployed for most of her life and can't offer *any* financial support (on the contrary I've had to foot some bills in emergencies), so I'm glad we have a social net in this country. But it's getting worse and obviously the poorest are hit first and I'm one of the poorest so I'm sort of uncomfortable.

One thing is that food cost literally have gone up about 50% in the last 3.5 years. I wish I was exaggerating, but me and a friend compared our food expenses back then and now, and the 50% is accurate. But we don't get more money for studying than before, in fact when I get welfare again for my Masters degree, I will get less money because when I turn 25 I will have to pay my own health insurance as well.

As for my university itself, it sucks, but I realized that too late. Don't get me wrong, it's one of the universities with the best rating in the whole country and employers have a high opinion of its graduates. But I study computer science and most of the things we learn are either irrelevant, or I already knew them before. So I basically have now wasted 3.5 years of my life without learning anything useful. I've also got mental health issues and have a hard time keeping up, but even more mentally healthy folk than me are having a very hard time, I think we have a 50% drop-out rate at least. We can't really afford to work a part-time job, everyone I know is being supported by their parents, it's really crappy having to do it all by yourself.

One thing that's pretty funny is that I'd literally get more government welfare money if I dropped out of uni. I'd also never have to pay it back. So basically as a student without financial support from parents I'm on the worst financial level imaginable in germany, even non-citizens who were granted asylum (and we've got lots of them now) have a higher standard of living than me. >_>

I think I could go into research if I wanted to, the research group for which I did my thesis knows me very well now, and I think they are pretty impressed by what I've been doing for my thesis. However, it's just too much stress and I can't really handle it. The research staff I know work all week including saturdays and sundays and that's not the kind of career I'm looking for (even though that's exactly what I've been doing for the last year).

I've got some good ideas that if I were given 5-10 years and a small team, I could probably turn into a viable income source. But nobody is gonna give me that time or team, and uni currently is too stressful to work basically a fulltime job on the sides. I hope it'll get less stressful soon, as I'm currently doing 50% more work than is "normal" in order to catch up with some lost time when I was in mentally bad shape. Finding my girlfriend has really helped a lot, she's very disciplined and working next to her encourages me to do my best, too.

I'm also not in great shape physically. My vision has been declining and I can hardly see anymore (have to use really big font to even read on the computer). After my bachelor is done (30 days hence) I'll definitely get that checked out and maybe I'll have to pause university for a while. But right now I don't think I could take the extra mental stress of dealing with that, too. My tinnitus has gotten worse, too, and I constantly have infections in various places that won't stop. I think maybe it's some sort of chronic disease caused by bacteria or vira. My mom has done some research and says it could be linked to borreliosis which I was infected with 10 years ago after being bit by a tick (I wish insect bites would give superpowers IRL, but nope, chronic diseases).

Anyway, all in all I don't enjoy my situation much at all, and things are only looking to get worse, both due to my own aging process which is going to make physical health even worse, and due to general planet-wise resource scarcity situation. BUT, of course I still live in germany and so far these are all still "first world problems". I'm only worried that in the next 10 years, this might change.

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Purnkin Spurce

Ain't that the truth! I'm 24 and I feel like things should have taken off for me by now. I'm still in college with 2 semesters left to go and I have no stable job, no relationship to speak of and everyone around me seems to be doing better than I am. It sucks. And it's scary because I never realized how hard it would be getting my foot out of the door. Especially when I have a learning disability and anxiety disorder. Sometimes I feel as if I'll never be courageous enough to go for the things I want in life. Or if I do, I will only fail.

I really though I would have things going for me by the time I'm 25. Time seems to be going so fast and I wonder if all that I'm doing is even worth it in the end. I don't want my youth to go by and I realized things later instead of sooner. It's nice to know others are going through similar struggles. I often forget other people in the world face the same problems.

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awkwardfeminist

Congrats!!! :cake: I guess you're already thinking about some fancy decoration of your new home.

Definitely!! I'm going over all of my stuff (I used to live in a much bigger apartment before, this is going to be a problem..) and discussing how to decorate with my mum who is equally excited (you'd think she's happy about living in a child-free house again - how rude!) about all this. I've signed my lease, but move in day is still a couple of months away.

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Float On

so it's nice because im gonna be moving back with my parents soon... they are being generous... but i am scared because the last time i lived with other humans, i felt like i was basically in a jail cell, casue of social anxiety...

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butterflydreams

This clip very accurately sums up how I feel about my mid-20s life at the moment:

https://youtu.be/aCbfMkh940Q

I'm going to be blowing smartly using most of my meager savings this summer to invest in my own happiness for once. I'm going to be buying (hopefully) a mid-engine sports car. I played the game, but things haven't at all turned out as people told me they would, and there's no indication of that changing. I didn't fail the world, the world failed me. Gotta get busy living, or get busy dying.

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Float On

its very nice when you get a chance to indulge :)

the most ive indulged in months is buying myself yogurt xD and that's it ;_; lol

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butterflydreams

its very nice when you get a chance to indulge :)

the most ive indulged in months is buying myself yogurt xD and that's it ;_; lol

I actually consider it to be a life-saving measure at this point. Pretty far from an indulgence. I'm liable to snap at some point in the future. An "irrational" decision like a fun sports car is a way for me to control that snap safely, and hopefully let me rediscover myself.

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Float On

ya I know that feeling xD I obssessively bought movies and cd's from walmart all throughout college... and never watched any of them till much later xD

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JCruz

Almost 21 and man it's not like I imagined. I have such a hard time finding a job and I ended up dropping out of college due to stress. TV makes everything look so easy.

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LyraHW

Almost 21 and man it's not like I imagined. I have such a hard time finding a job and I ended up dropping out of college due to stress. TV makes everything look so easy.

The TV is a liar and a cad that just builds up your hopes - do not trust it... it is mean :(

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JCruz

I know right? I just decided to go and do things however feels right. Still hard as hell but it's a lot more fun that way.

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Mikasa

23 here, still living with my parents and finishing grad school this summer if everything goes according to plan... And then what? I have no idea. I'm pretty sure getting a job is gonna be tough and I'm really not looking forward to the whole job hunting process :( And moving out, finding a place to live... I don't like growing up.

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divided_sky

I'm 25 and have no idea whatsoever what to do with my life. Have a BS in Meteorology, but I'm honestly sick of that after school. And now it's been a few years with me not keeping up, so I am not confident in my knowledge/skills anymore. Quarter life crisis! haha. It does hurt my overall confidence with meeting people. I feel like I'd be much more confident, and far less anxious, if I were on some path or doing something for a living that I liked. It sucks being this young and already feeling like I'm getting older and wasting time. But then, I was so shy and withdrawn in high school/college that I was never able to meet people and have any fun, which is what I have been doing more of lately (especially hitting up tons of concerts, which is my favorite thing to do, as I love music). So who knows. I feel like I'm perpetually about 5-6 years behind of where I should be, in large part due to crippling anxiety and depression issues for most of my life. I want to meet someone, but how can I cultivate a relationship when I am so unsure of myself? Blah.

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Falconer

I'm 25 and I'm randomly moving to a different state at the end of the month to be closer to a friend because I've not had any proper friends in 6 years and I'm a lonely loser. I've never moved by myself before and this is a crap ton of adult responsibility that I'm not sure I'm prepared for. STRESSSSSSSSS. It's a long move and I'm really confused about what I want to do when I get there, but I'm hoping in the end this will be good for me. If nothing else it will be an experience and I need more of those in my life.

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Spotastic

When I was 24 I moved across the country to stay with a woman that I had never met in person before. We've been married almost 8 years now. Sometimes a big risk can pay off. :)

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Float On

TV makes everything look so easy.

xD you can say that again

I decided the other day i need to stop watching tv and movies until i get myself togethre... or else ill have a huge misunderstanding of how life works xD

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