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For 20-somethings getting their feet off the ground

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littlepersonparadox

sitting here at 20 thinking yea stress looking at the clock and realiseing the days gone and you intened to visit the co-op advisor becasue hey your supposed to be doing co-op in 3 weeks and you haven't found a job yet becasue you haven't been asked for a interview yet and only handed out 10 resumes.

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drjohnhwatson

I'm 24 and I just feel so adrift at sea. I completed college and got a degree, but I live in the middle of nowhere. I have to move to a big city to do anything with it, but I don't know if I want to do anything with it. I would have to deal with people (it's a history degree) and I'm so bad with people. I'm either really anxious or really abrupt with people so...ugh.

I don't have a great amount of money and I like to travel. I want to save up as much as I can to travel, but my job barely pays me minimum wage (and it took me six years to claw myself to that point). Most of my actual money goes to paying back my student loans (HAAAAA), credit card payments, and other bills.

I live at home, with my parents. My younger and older siblings both have moved out with boyfriends (my older sister did ages ago but when she first left it was to live with her boyfriend's family). So my parents pressure me to move out but?? the only way my siblings really moved out was they had men to move in with, so...yeah...if I had a partner to split the bill and who wanted me with them, it would be easier to move out??

Then they pressure me that I don't drive but I couldn't really afford the insurance and car payments on top of everything else?? Plus it sends me into a terror; it always rattles me so much.

It's got me all jumbled up so badly. I just want to write and get something published. My goal is to become famous under a pseudonym, make enough money to help myself and my parents and live comfortably, travelling the world.

As it is I'm a 24 year old working in a restaurant at the first (and only) job she's ever had with a basically useless $30,000+ piece of paper with siblings who have spread their wings (with help) and I feel like I'm stuck in molasses, haha. I feel like everyone grew up around me and I stayed a kid and it's so embarrassing and so shaming. Especially when everyone starts settling down and I've never dated (not for lack of wanting a romantic partner) and I'm still just a baby bird stuck in a nest.

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Autumn Sunrise

I can think of one thing that might help. If you want to travel but don't have much money, you could start with parts of your own country that you haven't seen yet, and staying in Youth Hostels is is pretty cheap but quite comfortable. Perhaps you have a friend who'd like to go with you, but even on your own it could be a lot of fun. You say you're bad with people - well, I'm rather like that, but I found lots of interesting people that were easy to talk to when I stayed in YHAs. And remember, once you move on to the next place you'll probably never see them again, so even if you feel you didn't make a great impression it doesn't really matter. While you're away, even if it's only for a short period, you're out of the house, giving yourself a break and your parents a bit of time to themselves, so it might also help to get them off your back and feeling that you're becoming more independent.

I know it's not for everyone, but travelling around staying in hostels gave me some of the happiest times in my life. I'm a bit of a loner, and socially awkward, but I was amazed at the great people I met, and how easy it was to get talking, and even sometimes to join up and share some sightseeing before moving on. I don't know where you live, but HI (Hosteling International) seems to have a presence in many countries.

I you decide to give this a try, I'd be interested to hear how you get on :)
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Frigid Pink

I really want to be debt free and a huge psychological stressor for me right now is the amount of debt I have (it seems like a large number to me). I have student loans (undergraduate and graduate) and a car loan (just bought this year because I needed a more reliable car). Fortunately, I don't have any credit card debt. Also, my first job was at age 14 and I know how to manage my finances well. I currently have a "debt free in five years" plan!

Other than that, I feel okay with where I'm at. My biggest issue is a psychological one, in that I feel my mortality more these days (like time is running out) and I'm not quite where I'd ideally like to be (emotionally and otherwise), although I'm content with my current situation. I've gone through some major changes and life transitions over the past year and I'm still in the adjustment phase.

Regardless, I don't wish I could be a child again (haven't wished for that for awhile now). I'm glad to be an adult. I value my independence (especially from my parents) and freedom. I find that, these days, I wish I could slow down time or have more of it. It scares me how quickly time seems to pass these days and I've been told it speeds up even more as we get older!

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zoidberger

I'm 28 and anything in the near future looks like it'll be a struggle. Everything is always up in the air and medical and mental health issues in my family creep into my everyday life.

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drjohnhwatson

I can think of one thing that might help. If you want to travel but don't have much money, you could start with parts of your own country that you haven't seen yet, and staying in Youth Hostels is is pretty cheap but quite comfortable. Perhaps you have a friend who'd like to go with you, but even on your own it could be a lot of fun. You say you're bad with people - well, I'm rather like that, but I found lots of interesting people that were easy to talk to when I stayed in YHAs. And remember, once you move on to the next place you'll probably never see them again, so even if you feel you didn't make a great impression it doesn't really matter. While you're away, even if it's only for a short period, you're out of the house, giving yourself a break and your parents a bit of time to themselves, so it might also help to get them off your back and feeling that you're becoming more independent.

I know it's not for everyone, but travelling around staying in hostels gave me some of the happiest times in my life. I'm a bit of a loner, and socially awkward, but I was amazed at the great people I met, and how easy it was to get talking, and even sometimes to join up and share some sightseeing before moving on. I don't know where you live, but HI (Hosteling International) seems to have a presence in many countries.

I you decide to give this a try, I'd be interested to hear how you get on :)

I travel parts of my country now!! :lol:. A friend that I met online who lives in New York (and I live in Indiana) decided she wanted to try to go to SDCC in 2012 and so we both tried and got tickets and met by going on a train there. Saw a great bit of the country that way, which was nice as I'm terrified of planes.

Then in 2013 I went to Philadelphia for a concert and to see some historic stuff (Independence Hall, Liberty Bell, the Mint, the Cemetery where Ben Franklin is buried). I went with a friend, again by train.

In 2014, though, I went back to Philadelphia, and then went to Gettysburg for the first time (need to go back!) and to Pittsburgh. I went with my mom because I thought it would be great. The lines for the Bell and the Hall were crazy long, but she really liked going to the Mint and enjoyed the cemetery as well. I met more online friends in Gettysburg (Three; we're all mutual friends as those three have known each other since they were babes and two of them are identical twins, haha) and Pittsburgh (one). I also went to Illinois to Chicago and saw the Natural History Museum and met another internet friend (coming from Staten Island) and hung out with her for a few days at a DISASTROUS convention, haha.

Two of the friends I met and mentioned above and I are trying to pool money together and plan out taking a trip abroad in two years or so, so I'm really excited about that! We will probably use hostels, haha. It seems a good bet.

And my parents always seem really happy to get some time alone up until I'm leaving or just before. Then my mom gets anxious. Whenever I was in California I was gone for about three weeks between going to LA, Hollywood, and then staying in San Diego for the con and the rather long traintrip. My mom called and texted me a lot; she wanted to talk to me on the phone, like talk talk, not text, at least once a day and told me she missed me a lot. Parents, right?! Haha. Even my dad was texting me, which was nice.

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Autumn Sunrise

It sounds like you've already had some great travel experiences :) I hope there'll be many more, and that in time you'll find a job that uses more of your training and talents . . . and of course pays better. Keep on with your writing . . . i'll look forward to hearing that you've had something published!

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maylingel

awesome post!, am 22 just graduated and taking next year off to start a business and decide if doing a masters is worth being put into another 20k in debt. i will probably push back that idea if the business thing takes off

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Beyourownspotlight

Well, hi!

I'm going to be 21 in ten days, and my life has been totally turned upside down this past year, and instead of being where I wanted career wise (being in a nursing role, or being at uni to further my nursing education), I am now working my way back up starting from the bottom again (because this country doesn't acknowledge my education). I live with my parents, in my grans flat. So, that's great too (sarcasm).

I honestly thought I would have had my life a bit better together by now, and I feel like the past three years have been for nothing. At all.

I'm just so cheery!

But on the bright side, it's 14 days until christmas (so that's exciting! If you celebrate!)

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dissolved

I'm 27, graduated earlier this year and then started my PhD in October. I'm also a laboratory demonstrator and technician. I gave up my long term job (10 years) in retail (bleugh) to go into research and I can say it was definitely the right choice; I've found my career! However, the thing that made me finally feel like I'd taken a giant leap into adulthood was when I decided to pull my finger out and learn to drive. I passed my test last week and I've just bought a pretty nice car ^_^

£10k car loan added to £35k student loan also helps with the adult thing...

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Sexless Antonio

I am 24. I've also never been in a relationship nor dated anyone. But I've had some pretty interesting insights of life this year :p

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OptimisticPessimist

25, no idea what i'm doing really in all aspects.

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9Lives

25, going to be 26 in three weeks (wait... what? how did that happen?)

I'm really satisfied with my job right now, but kinda anxious about telling my Mom that not only is her little girl going to go to a dangerous place next summer, but she's also asexual and that's okay... although I think she'll take the asexual part better than the other one, especially once I assure her that I still want to have kids, just not by the usual method.

I'm worrying though that finding a partner under these circumstances is going to be really difficult and really don't want to spend my life alone, I hate being alone.

Also, travelers and would-be-travelers, since there seem to be a few of those here - I don't know if Turkey's on your list, but if it is, I'll be here until July, and I have a nice guest bedroom. I'm also on couchsurfing.org, so if you're looking for a place to stay, tell me.

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Guest

25, no idea what i'm doing really in all aspects.

It looks to me like you were posting on AVEN in the "For 20-somethings getting their feet off the ground" thread. :cake:

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TealXLIV

I'm 22, have never had a paying job - I did volunteer in a library for a year - I have 18 months of college left before I graduate with a bachelor's in Business Administration. (My written grammar is not that great; it's always been my Achilles heel.) Thankfully, if all goes as it has, I will be fortunate enough to get out with zero debt. Oh, hey, a business degree, you're going to get an MBA, right?

A....A......AN MBA?!? I'd love one, but I don't even have the Bachelor's yet! And grad school is pretty much loans and out-of-pocket. The State of California isn't going to grant me money to go to grad school. Hell, I'll have to find a job, erm, um, a "career" with my shitty non-existent resume when I'm done in 2016. So that's a terror I'm shoving down deep. Every time it comes back up, I have to turn into a Dragon Slayer and send it back to hell. I still live at home with my parents; thankfully, my university is not too far up the freeway. I can't go to grad school and end up being 26/27 and never having held a job. I've tried. I've put out dozens of resumes, and I've even been for some interviews. I've just never been fortunate enough to be The Chosen One. Its got to the point that I've given up figuring, "Fuck it, I'm focusing on school and I'll deal with this later." And to go through school, have the awesome grades I do, only to end up having to take a low-wage service job would absolutely kill me. Teal would be dead.

I'm very pessimistic about my future even though I know I'll probably be alright.

I've been in two relationships in my lifetime - one in senior year of high school, the other freshman of college. (There was a two year gap in-between) The first one was a damn mistake. She ended up dumping me for the guy she was having sex with behind my back. I'm 22 and am pretty much set on a life of not dating anyone ever again unless we're the best of friends first.

I'm introverted, socially anxious, sensitive to rejection, and basically have zero self esteem at times. We all get a little sad at times, you know? So it would be nice if I had a buddy I could come to and just talk with. Someone who would let me put my head on their shoulder and just hug me. Oh wait, I do have one of those, except they're in OREGON!

Most of the time I'm in a fairly good mood, but it can flip. Annoyance, irritability, self-doubt.

I like to make others laugh. I like to make them smile. I just try to make others happy. Even when I feel like my profile pic.

Being able to make someone else laugh is just one of the most awesome feelings in the World.

I am Teal, and this is my mini-rant. I don't rant in full on the internet. I rant in person.

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Himegami

I'm not 20-something... Yet. But I have enjoyed reading so far, and maybe I will kind of share my future plans and seek advice later :)

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Laurens

Oh my god, I didn't expect to find twenty-something under the header older asexuals.

I'm feeling so old. Well, I'm almost 23 (ok still 22) but I feel really old while at the same time I'm not ready to be so old. I have still anderhalf year to go at University so that feels kind of safe but after that? I would like to travel and write a novel, but yeah money. So probably have to find a job, but yeah economical crisis. And I have to find a new place to live, but that's also difficult at the moment so in the worst case I'll have to go live with my parent's again.

Since I'm 18 many peers have driven around in cars which feels really weird because that's only a thing adults do.. Some of my peers are even getting engaged or going to live together with their partner. I've never been in a relationship and I've never been kissed or whatever and don't really want to. But it makes me feel a bit odd and awkward in conversations about boyfriends and stuff.

Last year I really had a quarterlife-crisis, but I think it's now under control, kind of.. perhaps. hopefully. until the next emotional unstable moment. It's nice to know I'm not alone in these feelings..

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OptimisticPessimist

25, no idea what i'm doing really in all aspects.

It looks to me like you were posting on AVEN in the "For 20-somethings getting their feet off the ground" thread. :cake:

:lol: :D :cake:

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Squirrel Combat

I'm 25 and really, I'm not lost. I'm just standing on one side of a creek on a trail where there happens to be no bridge and I know where the trail goes but I can't seem to cross. I guess I'm too afraid to cross out of fear I may get swept away by the current. But I do know what my plans are, at least.

I'm on the threshold of self-publishing two books, I have music and photographs available for purchase, I just need to get that website up and running. In fact the one thing I'm really not certain about in my future is whether I will ever really find love. :wacko:

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Member4445

Hi, I'm 24 on Xmas Day. I can't afford to move out, even though I have a job. I live pay check to pay check, making sure my puppy has food and cash put aside for his care before I think about budgetting for my own food.

At Uni they made it sound like life would be fun and rainbows after graduation.

What dafuk kind of hole did I fall in then?

I am beyond stressed right now with sorting things out. I just put the tree up about an hour ago. Being pushed into driving lessons when I can't afford them. In between trying to organise my life, care for my brother and mother, I now have hospital appointments to regularly attend.

And a happy new year <_<

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Autumn Sunrise

Nothing too serious, I hope - the hospital appointments, I mean! I'm glad you have a puppy to care for - there's nothing like the unconditional love of a dog (or a cat :) ).

Christmas can be a very stressful time for many people, but I hope you manage to find some peace and joy in the season, and that the new year will bring better times for you (and your puppy friend :D ).

By the way, if it's all a bit too much right now, couldn't you put off learning to drive, just until things settle down a bit? You don't have to give up on it, just cut yourself a bit of slack until you feel more able to cope.

*hugs*

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AwkwardAntelope

I'm 25 and I've lived out of home since I was 18. Considering I've lived a pretty bizarre life and wasn't really "raised", people are always surprised to hear that I'm doing pretty well for myself. I rent a house, I live alone, I am gainfully employed and have remained so for the last four years. More importantly I have enough skills to keep me alive day to day.

When it comes to future plans though, I lack direction at best. I don't know if I want to continue in the job I'm in, though I enjoy it enough to show up day in day out. It just doesn't get much better than this for someone with no university degree or social skills. So that thought is what's stopping me from changing career direction. Home ownership is appealing but for the moment unobtainable.

I kind of had a major realisation some months back that this is it. Like, this is going to be the rest of my life. I'm 25 and I have another 40 years of this. Working on average 250 days a year for the sake of having a life on the weekend and a couple of weeks of annual leave that I have to scrape together cash for. Do I enjoy what I'm doing enough to keep doing this for the rest of my life? It was a really soul crushing realisation to come to.

For now I'm just going to keep at what I'm doing, try and find a path and such. It doesn't help that my life doesn't follow the typical Australian life model so I don't really have a guide to follow.

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Salmacis

So glad to have found this thread, and that I'm not the only one who isn't 'established' yet.

25, university graduate, currently unemployed and struggling to find work due to limited previous experience (and strict foreign visa requirements). No career ambition. No real skills besides some language ability. In a long-term relationship (haven't been single since the age of nineteen) but haven't got any 'social circle' or even friends I can hang out with.

Future? No. idea.

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Geoff

I'm sorry if I bring people down or trigger anyone or anything like that, this is just where I am with life.

I'm 22, in the US, dropped out of college two and a half years ago where I was "working on" a music degree. The reason I put that in quotes isn't because I don't think a music degree isn't or doesn't require work, it's because I had more important things to worry about like not killing myself because of the sheer existential dread that everything I was doing was fundamentally worthless.

I still haven't gotten a job, so now the struggle is regretting going to college in the first place, thinking I should have started working out of high school, or even, god forbid, dropping out of high school to work because those silly little diploma things are doing me no good whatsoever. Add to that the older people telling me to "just" get a job and not understanding why I couldn't plow through and get my degree, all while claiming that they're "trying" to understand, and at this moment in my life I'm feeling like a complete wreck. The other day I was ecstatic at finding out I could get a bus ticket from Lexington to Louisville for $16. And here I am, wanting to leave the US permanently...*sigh*

So yeah, I guess I'm kinda working on being a professional-ish musician. Most of everything I'm doing for money seems to be music-related. I guess the only thing for it is to try to teach viola lessons. I'm at the stage where I doubt there's much left to lose.

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whybobby

This place is literaly the best place there is. It's been only a few weeks since I've come to terms with my asexuality and then I find a whole community of awesome asexy people AND twenty-so youngsters who also feel lost in the world. It's amazing not to feel alone, anymore!

I'm 27. I have a degree in Biology, never worked as biologist, though. Been working on every kind of stuff I can but still haven't figured out what the heck I want to do with my life. I love learning new things. I love foreign languages. I love science fiction. I love so many things - except every job I get! :P

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Autumn Sunrise

Hi AVEN friends, I want to wish you all the best possible time today, however you celebrate this time of year.I hope everyone here will find some happiness and peace in the holiday season. You are all in my thoughts and in my heart :wub:

May 2015 be a blessed year for us all.

*hugs*

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Autumn Sunrise

Ciri, I hope you had/are having a happy birthday :D

(sorry, I don't know whether it is still Christmas day where you live :)

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Guest

Hi, I'm 24 on Xmas Day. I can't afford to move out, even though I have a job. I live pay check to pay check, making sure my puppy has food and cash put aside for his care before I think about budgetting for my own food.

At Uni they made it sound like life would be fun and rainbows after graduation.

What dafuk kind of hole did I fall in then?

I am beyond stressed right now with sorting things out. I just put the tree up about an hour ago. Being pushed into driving lessons when I can't afford them. In between trying to organise my life, care for my brother and mother, I now have hospital appointments to regularly attend.

And a happy new year <_<

Happy birthday Jesus Ciri. :cake:

This place is literaly the best place there is. It's been only a few weeks since I've come to terms with my asexuality and then I find a whole community of awesome asexy people AND twenty-so youngsters who also feel lost in the world. It's amazing not to feel alone, anymore!

I'm 27. I have a degree in Biology, never worked as biologist, though. Been working on every kind of stuff I can but still haven't figured out what the heck I want to do with my life. I love learning new things. I love foreign languages. I love science fiction. I love so many things - except every job I get! :P

I can relate to the quote in your sig....I'm one of the quietest people I know. Others are just too loud. :unsure:

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x54880

I've had a full-time job for almost 2 months now. I got it when I was on the verge of running out of money, and it's a job that pays well enough to pay my bills. Very thankful I got this job when I did, though I didn't exactly choose it. However, I'm sad that I haven't been able to post here as nearly as much as I used to. My job often leaves me mentally drained by the end, that it's hard for me to write any long posts, and there are so many other things I want to do too. I also often work overtime there too.

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charliemcphee

Hi all! I'm 20. Currently in my second year studying Music, and completely freaking out because I have no idea what I'm going to do with my degree. To be honest I'd be happy staying at uni forever so I never had to worry about getting a job or anything, but I don't think that's going to work somehow. Add to that the fun of my mum trying to persuade me to go out with basically every male friend I've ever had (not all at the same time, don't panic), combine it with the fun of a Christmas where my brother and sister can't stand to be in the same building for more than a day, and you've got a recipe for the most fun filled holiday I've ever had.

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