Connection between fetish and asexuality?

[ChaosKaosu]

This might sound stupid but I have collar fetish (dog collar etc) especially when it comes to anime like art.

Since I had it from very young age I was wondering if there is some kind of odd connection with my asexuality and that?

Maybe it comes from something else?

[1/100 of me]

Fetishes have more to do with sex drive rather than sexual orientation. Anyone with any orientation and drive can have a fetish, they're not really "caused by" anything.

[Lies_As_Lau]

Like 1/100 said, fetishes have more to do with the sex drive than with the sexual orientation. For a lot of fetishes, there is a cause, usually something that had made a constant appearance during the sexual budding of the fetishist or libidoist, however that is not always the case with fetishes

[Feral_Sophisticate]

My girl is highly asexual, but very kinky. Fetishism and sexual activity are not necessarily linked.

You like what you like. No harm in that. :)

[pegasusoftraken]

For me, I don't think my fetishes have anything to do with either my sex drive or my asexuality. But yeah, the way I see it is that people like what they like and don't think it matters what the cause is.

[claustrophile]

Obligatory reminder that kink doesn't have to involve sex/sexual arousal. http://mileagedoesvary.blogspot.com/2014/05/you-asexual-deviant-you.html

For some of us fetishes are arousing, for others it's another kind of preference on par with being obsessed with anime or specific TV series.

[alpacaterpillar]

I sometimes wonder if my (sexual) fetish is more an unusual direction of my sexuality, perhaps derived from a strange childhood fascination with windblown objects (especially cloth). In effect though, this basically equates to being asexual with a fetish, so I identify as that irrespective of the causes ^_^

[Totally Schwuaat?]

I'd imagine differentiating kink vs. orientation would clear up a lot of misunderstandings about sex in general. I personally knew I always had a "thing", but damn if that made it awkward to grow up around typical sexual expectations. Mind you, I definitely have a non-sexual fetish towards things of a similar nature, which became a healthy way to confront this awkwardness as an adult.

[ChaosKaosu]

Obligatory reminder that kink doesn't have to involve sex/sexual arousal. http://mileagedoesvary.blogspot.com/2014/05/you-asexual-deviant-you.html

For some of us fetishes are arousing, for others it's another kind of preference on par with being obsessed with anime or specific TV series.

It makes me kind of weirdo. Normal people focus on chest, boobs, ass, muscles and stuff like that when they see some sexy "anime" picture.

I stare at collar and don't really that much care about the character.

[Arethusa]

I sometimes wonder if my (sexual) fetish is more an unusual direction of my sexuality, perhaps derived from a strange childhood fascination with windblown objects (especially cloth). In effect though, this basically equates to being asexual with a fetish, so I identify as that irrespective of the causes ^_^

That's pretty much exactly how I feel about my fetish(es). Apparently, the current theory is that, at some point in early childhood, people develop 'neurological templates' of what they will grow up to enjoy and prefer sexually. Usually that's other people, but, for people like us, the 'imprinting' involves something that shouldn't be a sexual object/scenario, leaving no place for the standard hetero/homo/bi/pansexual template that most people get. At least in my case, my "sexuality" developed in a pretty textbook way, with the difference that the erotic target was not another person: I had the stage of initial fascination with the object until around age 5, then a 'cooties phase' where I saw the object as taboo, until around age 8 or 9, then a phase of subconscious sexual games (my mind guiding me into situations where I'd be likely to come into contact with the object of my fetish), and finally, just before I turned twelve, a full-fledged awakening of my libido. (It didn't quite work in the usual way and died down later, but that's another story.) Now that I understand more or less what happened, I can be totally confident that I am not sexually attracted to other people, because my libido (to the extent that it still exists) is geared entirely towards things in connection to which the term 'sexual attraction' is meaningless. So, for me, there's a very intimate connection between my fetish and my asexuality: knowing that I have the one gives me certainty and closure about the other.

[Lauren+Bear]

AVEN has started a kink topic that can be found here: http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/105805-kink-bdsm-and-cake/

I have a thing for collars, too. :) For me, all of my fetishes are about the physical sensations they produce. For example, I like rope because I like to feel the tightness around my chest as I breathe.

[alpacaterpillar]

I sometimes wonder if my (sexual) fetish is more an unusual direction of my sexuality, perhaps derived from a strange childhood fascination with windblown objects (especially cloth). In effect though, this basically equates to being asexual with a fetish, so I identify as that irrespective of the causes ^_^

That's pretty much exactly how I feel about my fetish(es). Apparently, the current theory is that, at some point in early childhood, people develop 'neurological templates' of what they will grow up to enjoy and prefer sexually. Usually that's other people, but, for people like us, the 'imprinting' involves something that shouldn't be a sexual object/scenario, leaving no place for the standard hetero/homo/bi/pansexual template that most people get. At least in my case, my "sexuality" developed in a pretty textbook way, with the difference that the erotic target was not another person: I had the stage of initial fascination with the object until around age 5, then a 'cooties phase' where I saw the object as taboo, until around age 8 or 9, then a phase of subconscious sexual games (my mind guiding me into situations where I'd be likely to come into contact with the object of my fetish), and finally, just before I turned twelve, a full-fledged awakening of my libido. (It didn't quite work in the usual way and died down later, but that's another story.) Now that I understand more or less what happened, I can be totally confident that I am not sexually attracted to other people, because my libido (to the extent that it still exists) is geared entirely towards things in connection to which the term 'sexual attraction' is meaningless. So, for me, there's a very intimate connection between my fetish and my asexuality: knowing that I have the one gives me certainty and closure about the other.

Fascinating. I'm not sure if the ETLE thing applies to me because my fetish deals with clothing worn by women in the wind (and even then only specific garment types); but where that's not the case I'm really not interested in women sexually at all. But I strongly suspect the 'lovemap' idea could have some interesting results.

[ChaosKaosu]

Okay, as someone who now wears a collar as casual wear, I can confirm that it helps due I kind of got out of the closet, so to say.

[Contrarian Expatriate]

I do believe there is often a connection between fetishism/partialism and asexuality.

Fetishism is the sexual arousal of inanimate objects like clothing, shoes, or any other item. If an asexual can become sexually aroused by wearing, fondling, touching, smelling, etc an inanimate object, that is a fetish. I can see where some asexuals can be become aroused by an item instead of the human body or genitalia. It is as if sexual arousal gets rerouted through some other path other than the human body.

Sexual partialism is the sexual arousal from particular parts of the human body. Some of us like legs, some like, backsides, some like breasts, some like necks, some like feet. These are not fetishes, but conventional wisdom considers many of them fetishes since they are atypical. Please do not call people "foot fetishists" unless you are willing to call 90% of men "breast fetishists" too!

All of these are fine and ok (so long as they do not harm anyone and are consensually indulged), and more common than you think. Don't let people ridicule your "atypical outlet" and seek out people who respect and are open to your outlet.

I theorize that many or most asexuals have some atypical arousal outlet of this nature but this needs to be researched.

[ChaosKaosu]

Oh, that sounds rather interesting. Are you actually some kind of researcher or is that just a hunch?