svrn Posted March 9 Share Posted March 9 6 hours ago, EclipseChild said: Has anybody played D&D using an expansion called "Kinks & Cantrips"? I just heard about it hours ago and I'm stunned, because I was considering finding rope-kinky content for D&D and just randomly stumbled across a video about this while looking up generic D&D stuff. From the video I saw, I already know, however, that this book definitely includes sexual content (Alpha and Omega species, for example, and the guy said he couldn't show much of the artwork on YouTube) and I certainly don't want that in D&D, but does anyone who has bought the book know how much of its content can be used without sexual implications? (I will likely make a longer post later, it is late at the time I'm posting this) I've never heard of it, but it sounds interesting! I just hope that "Alpha and Omega species" doesn't turn out to be as terrible as it sounds... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EclipseChild Posted March 14 Share Posted March 14 On 3/9/2025 at 12:16 AM, EclipseChild said: I will likely make a longer post later So, after finding out about Kinks & Cantrips and mulling thoughts in my head, I'm not sure why I was so stunned about hearing it. While I am interested in some of its contents, I'm mostly nudity-adverse and would only want a "abridged" version of it skipping past the sexual stuff. Unfortunately, it defines kink as "...In short, kink can and does encompass a wide range of desires, with the only limitation being its relation to sexuality." Because of that, anything in the book could contain sexual content I'm adverse to viewing, and looking at the table of contents, I don't actually know if any of the subclass options are restraint-oriented. (Subclasses that are included in the book are a wax-themed Monk, a hypnosis Warlock, a latex-themed Ranger, and a "Null Visage Rogue", among dozens of others) For me, I personally think I like the idea of being tied up, with some element of pain from someone or something tugging on the restraints, but I haven't yet actually experienced or attended a BDSM session, and I don't think I'll be able too anytime soon due to social anxiety among other factors. Despite that, I was previously trying to work out a D&D subclass themed around that kind of restraint (and struggling, because getting restrained is normally not a good tactical decision in combat), and I guess my question is "Am I getting ahead of myself?". I thought I was going to have a lot more to say, but I guess I got stuck on that question. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m38 Posted March 14 Share Posted March 14 i have a little confession to make. my sub has a self-esteem lower than floor, so during our sessions i tell them to say self-affirmation phrases out loud, like "i'm a good person", "i deserve to be treated with love and respect", you name it. i reward them when they speak, and deny them pleasure when they refuse to speak. idk if it's a good thing to do, but i couldn't find any other way to get that person to talk self-affirmation, other than through bdsm. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceebs Posted March 16 Share Posted March 16 On 3/14/2025 at 5:16 AM, m38 said: idk if it's a good thing to do, but i couldn't find any other way to get that person to talk self-affirmation, other than through bdsm. Have you asked them how they feel about it, if they're getting anything positive from it? I would think that checking in with them about it would be pretty important. When we think about things like checking in, and of course consent, we often think about the more physically intense aspects of kink (and obviously anything that's overtly sexual), but something like what you described undoubtedly carries a lot of emotional weight if this person struggles greatly with their self-esteem, so potentially these self-affirmations could be really difficult for them or make them feel uncomfortable. I'm not saying they do or that you're doing anything wrong -- hopefully it's something that's positive for them, and for you as well -- but just curious if you've talked about it since you said you didn't know if it was a good thing to do. (Personally I don't think it would work for me, unfortunately. 😂 I have pretty shit self-esteem, but incorporating positive affirmations into BDSM would turn me right off lol. I do actually get positive feelings from the types of things we say though, in a kind of roundabout or backwards way. I like language that's a bit derogatory or degrading -- NOT outright nasty for sure, though -- because coming from a place of sexual shame in the past, it manages to be oddly empowering, like embracing parts of myself I felt were bad.) 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m38 Posted March 16 Share Posted March 16 3 hours ago, Mrs Telecaster-to-be said: Have you asked them how they feel about it, if they're getting anything positive from it? I would think that checking in with them about it would be pretty important. When we think about things like checking in, and of course consent, we often think about the more physically intense aspects of kink (and obviously anything that's overtly sexual), but something like what you described undoubtedly carries a lot of emotional weight if this person struggles greatly with their self-esteem, so potentially these self-affirmations could be really difficult for them or make them feel uncomfortable. we talk about this, yeah. and they say they're fine with me basically making them say stuff they struggle with believing in.. they thank me for this from time to time, as well. it's difficult, honestly. because they often end up crying their eyes out. i make sure to comfort them, both during and after session.. lots of hugs, pet names (they like it), etc. i don't do anything without their consent, though. and i check in a lot, because they also struggle with saying safe words, so checking in is important. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceebs Posted March 18 Share Posted March 18 Ok, glad to hear it sounds like it's working out for both of you then. Things like that can bring up big feelings of course, so crying isn't a bad thing if they're consenting. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinnieMouse Posted April 3 Share Posted April 3 Hi, Nowadays I often fantasize about power play and bondage, and I've noticed that my fantasies have gotten more and more intense lately. In my fantasies I'm a dominant and the person I'm aesthetically and emotionally (romantically or alterous – I'e never felt sexual attraction towards anyone.) attracted to is a submissive. As a sex-averse person there are no naked bodies, no genitals and no intercourse in my fantasies, but the thought of having a dom/sub relationship does in fact increase my libido. It's all in my head though, and I have no desire to do this in real life. Can anyone relate to this? 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vero Totem Posted April 3 Share Posted April 3 25 minutes ago, MinnieMouse said: Hi, Nowadays I often fantasize about power play and bondage, and I've noticed that my fantasies have gotten more and more intense lately. In my fantasies I'm a dominant and the person I'm aesthetically and emotionally (romantically or alterous – I'e never felt sexual attraction towards anyone.) attracted to is a submissive. As a sex-averse person there are no naked bodies, no genitals and no intercourse in my fantasies, but the thought of having a dom/sub relationship does in fact increase my libido. It's all in my head though, and I have no desire to do this in real life. Can anyone relate to this? I'm a bit of the opposite. I'm a sub that prefers cuffs, straps, or scarves as opposed to rope. I don't fantasize and I don't have an increase in libido. I went to one bondage meetup in my area and liked the demonstration about safe play. It was a queer friendly atmosphere and there were people who actually cheered when I introduced myself as ace. Outside of the meetup and going to sleep with my wrists bound either to each other or with just leather cuffs on, I haven't really done a lot of bondage play. In that sense, my desire for bondage is mostly in my head. Trying to find a playmate I can trust is the part that keeps me from doing it more often. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
batmmann5 Posted April 4 Share Posted April 4 I can relate in some ways, but yes I do this in real life. She ties me and I am usually naked, but she is clothed. It isn't sexual. I love rope bondage and other kinds of bondage. It is just fun. I host rope nights and I had a rope dojo built in my backyard. You aren't alone in desiring this. I will say most play parties and rope gatherings are not sexual. BD/SM is actually a good outlet for asexuals. Brian 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinnieMouse Posted April 5 Share Posted April 5 On 4/4/2025 at 2:25 AM, batmmann5 said: I can relate in some ways, but yes I do this in real life. She ties me and I am usually naked, but she is clothed. It isn't sexual. I love rope bondage and other kinds of bondage. It is just fun. I host rope nights and I had a rope dojo built in my backyard. You aren't alone in desiring this. I will say most play parties and rope gatherings are not sexual. BD/SM is actually a good outlet for asexuals. Brian Yeah, it seems to be a good outlet. It’s not only the fact that my power play fantasies increases my libido. During the last two months I’ve been experiencing a significant increase in libido in general (probably due to hormone changes) and I’ve started letting it out by reading power play stories that Chat GPT writes for me. Chat GPT isn’t allowed to write anything sexual, so this suits me perfectly. No unwanted details in the stories. 😄 I still don’t think I would like to make reality out of my fantasies, but you should never say never, I guess. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calibri Posted April 5 Share Posted April 5 On 4/3/2025 at 1:30 PM, MinnieMouse said: Hi, Nowadays I often fantasize about power play and bondage, and I've noticed that my fantasies have gotten more and more intense lately. In my fantasies I'm a dominant and the person I'm aesthetically and emotionally (romantically or alterous – I'e never felt sexual attraction towards anyone.) attracted to is a submissive. As a sex-averse person there are no naked bodies, no genitals and no intercourse in my fantasies, but the thought of having a dom/sub relationship does in fact increase my libido. It's all in my head though, and I have no desire to do this in real life. Can anyone relate to this? Most of my fantasies are also in my head too. I'm more of a switch but would love to dom a submissive person or a person in a submissive role. Rope is my top kink, I even took that bdsm test and got rope rigger and rope bunny as my top 2. Like this picture here ? Arrow through the heart for real. The aesthetics of it makes me floaty in the head and if I could do it with someone I am also romantically and or alterously attracted too (another alterous attratuon person heyyy 👋🏾👋🏾) then that would be so wonderful. Im sex indifferent so I can also do a scene without sex, would probably prefer it really. And if I'm aroused I can handle it after the scene with toys on my own and or incorporate it into the scene if my partner is willing. But rope aesthetics, power & control, skin to skin non sexual contact are my main thoughts truly. One day I will practice my rope skills and master it it seems so fun. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinnieMouse Posted April 5 Share Posted April 5 3 hours ago, s_f said: Most of my fantasies are also in my head too. I'm more of a switch but would love to dom a submissive person or a person in a submissive role. Rope is my top kink, I even took that bdsm test and got rope rigger and rope bunny as my top 2. Like this picture here ? Arrow through the heart for real. The aesthetics of it makes me floaty in the head and if I could do it with someone I am also romantically and or alterously attracted too (another alterous attratuon person heyyy 👋🏾👋🏾) then that would be so wonderful. Im sex indifferent so I can also do a scene without sex, would probably prefer it really. And if I'm aroused I can handle it after the scene with toys on my own and or incorporate it into the scene if my partner is willing. But rope aesthetics, power & control, skin to skin non sexual contact are my main thoughts truly. One day I will practice my rope skills and master it it seems so fun. Thank you for sharing your experiences! Now I feel valid again. 🤗 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slywlf Posted April 8 Share Posted April 8 As an aegosexual and aegoromatic, all my "attractions" are theoretical, and involve characters from TV or movies - just the characters, not the actors - and someone who is a sort of stand-in for me, not "me". It took ages to figure this out, but once I found my labels I was finally able to relax and enjoy my fantasies. That said, kink is my sexuality - in that I get aroused by thoughts of kinky behaviors - none include actual sex. Lately, thanks to a dear friend who spent much of her life involved in kink, and who became my mentor, I am slowly getting involved with it in real life. The dynamic is quite different from my delicious forbidden fantasies, and I don't get the arousal in the same way, but it is still fulfilling in its own way. So far I have sampled rope play (loved it far more than I had expected!), fire play - fun, but not very exciting TBH - impact play at different levels of intensity - so far I haven't had to call red - and electro play - not enough to really know but enough that I wouldn't turn down the chance to play further with the right partner. All that said, my go-to fantasies still work, so I feel like I've got the best of both worlds! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinnieMouse Posted April 8 Share Posted April 8 13 hours ago, slywlf said: As an aegosexual and aegoromatic, all my "attractions" are theoretical, and involve characters from TV or movies - just the characters, not the actors - and someone who is a sort of stand-in for me, not "me". It took ages to figure this out, but once I found my labels I was finally able to relax and enjoy my fantasies. That said, kink is my sexuality - in that I get aroused by thoughts of kinky behaviors - none include actual sex. Lately, thanks to a dear friend who spent much of her life involved in kink, and who became my mentor, I am slowly getting involved with it in real life. The dynamic is quite different from my delicious forbidden fantasies, and I don't get the arousal in the same way, but it is still fulfilling in its own way. So far I have sampled rope play (loved it far more than I had expected!), fire play - fun, but not very exciting TBH - impact play at different levels of intensity - so far I haven't had to call red - and electro play - not enough to really know but enough that I wouldn't turn down the chance to play further with the right partner. All that said, my go-to fantasies still work, so I feel like I've got the best of both worlds! That really sounds like the best of two worlds!! 🤩 With a me that isn’t really you, do you mean like some kind of alter ego? I am me in my fantasies, but I don’t act like I would do in real life and I never see my own face or body in my fantasies. It’s like I don’t have an appearance. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slywlf Posted April 10 Share Posted April 10 On 4/8/2025 at 10:25 AM, MinnieMouse said: That really sounds like the best of two worlds!! 🤩 With a me that isn’t really you, do you mean like some kind of alter ego? I am me in my fantasies, but I don’t act like I would do in real life and I never see my own face or body in my fantasies. It’s like I don’t have an appearance. Exactly! The character standing in for me may not have an appearance at all, or in any case doesn't resemble me in any tangible way. Sort of an imaginary person who acts out the scenario on my behalf. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
svrn Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 On 4/8/2025 at 2:50 AM, slywlf said: That said, kink is my sexuality - in that I get aroused by thoughts of kinky behaviors - none include actual sex. This so much. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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