Kink, BDSM, and Cake

[Guest]

On 10/26/2019 at 6:00 AM, Sevrn said:

What I enjoy about delving into kink, for me, is that it makes me question myself. In a good way. I have to honest about who I am and what I want and why. It's pretty liberating.

 

I found out new things about me recently. I shouldn't even say found out. It was always there but I wasn't looking at it straight on, just from an angle - an angle that made what it is look better than I thought it was at the time. 

 

I kinda just faced the fact that I'm one of those dominant littles/babygirls. I'm not into age play at all. Never been my thing, never will be. But, yeah, I always tried to have the more "grown up" persona of a female dominant. While I am a grown up and believe in being a responsible, mature, well rounded individual, I recognize that my approach to relationships always has an underlying tone of childlike-ness and innocence. It happens to be how I am in relationships, while also wanting to be the one in charge. I like it.

I'm sorta similar but not so much with age play. I've just got a cat like childish side to me that I used to tease them whilst still having control. Also can I have your dominant side like fully. I'm sick of my sub side showing up after like 6-9 months of feeling like myself to scream fuck you. I need some damn consistency. 

[Guest]

On 6/15/2019 at 5:00 PM, Bloc said:

Reading this, I realize again that I am a switch. I want to do this to someone and being done to me. With bonus points if it is the same person.

Turns out I'm techically a switch buttt hey guess who hates the sub sideeee. this fucker (how doth one escape). 

[Guest]

4 hours ago, KrysLost said:

Turns out I'm techically a switch buttt hey guess who hates the sub sideeee. this fucker (how doth one escape). 

Therapy? Pure curiosity here, don't feel obliged to reply, but why do you hate the sub side?

 

[Guest]

40 minutes ago, theV0ID said:

Therapy? Pure curiosity here, don't feel obliged to reply, but why do you hate the sub side?

 

Oh hmm just never wanted it for myself you know? It annoys me to hell that it gets in the way of the dom side that I usually have. It's always just been that way for me. My sexuality also influences how I interact. It turns me into a person foreign to what I'm used to. Besides I don't appreciate the desire to give up control. I've had so many thing out of my control with disassociation and such. Having the desire to fall apart is nauseating and feels like betrayal. Not to mention having something that would typically give you a panic attack and suddenly you develop the capacity to enjoy and then you have no choice but to have to feelings because thEIR FUCKIGN RHeere. You get the picture.  

[juliusneezer]

I know my fetish isn't the most gross/graphic or offensive but I'd bet it's the most bizarre. I have tried dating and regular sex and the thought of it simply repulses me, I never once searched a porn video of 2 people f*cking unless it's to see if it would get me going (hoping it would. I wanna be normal) I could climax watching it but.. nothing could possibly even compare to my fetish which gives me butterflies to this day even tho I'm 24.

 

My fetish is basically a scenario of a girl (usually a blonde, 5'6" - 5'11") that keeps a tiny shrunken man (sometimes a woman) sizes 1-5 inches tall as a toy/pet against his/her will. (Keep in mind the girl captor is not a child) and what she does with her poor captive can be some of a few scenarios that I like, but my favorite would have to be simply squeezing her tiny captive in her fist as a form of amusement as he screams/squeaks out in agony. Another would be to trap him in her sock while she wears it for the day, mashed between her toes, suffering the pressure of her immense size and power, the stink, the heat building up. He'll just have to endure it till SHE decides to take off her socks. She's in complete control, he has no say in any matter and no one from the outside world can hear him. Another scenario would be the same but she would stick him in the back of her panties between her buttcheeks. The way she prances around knowing no body has any idea what she's keeping in her clothes, wiggles around when she takes a seat just to add to her captive's suffering, oh and maybe even farting. Snickering knowing she's putting her victim through hell while she's outside in pure bliss.

 

What really plays a huge part in this fetish is the element of privacy and public judgement. The girl doesn't want her mom, dad, friends or anyone in her life to know about her dirty sick little secret of keeping a shrunken human captive. So, why isn't she feeling embarrassed due to what her tiny captive might think of her? He's a person too, right? Well, technically yes, he still is, in some way, but his size and helplessness downgrades any affect he has on her. His protests, screams of agony, pleads are all faint squeaks. the sympathy he tries to draw from her to take pity on him is so miniscule if not non-existent and if he made an affect, it's usually very very insignificant and temporary and the pleasure she'll derive from his suffering soon after will quickly override any second thought she might of had about letting him go... Besides, if she ever lets him go, he'd tell, so his fate is basically sealed for the rest of his life to live as her cute little plaything. (sigh).... No sex or romance story could ever replace this fetish in my eyes. I just love it.

[Guest]

On 3/2/2020 at 5:10 AM, KrysLost said:

Oh hmm just never wanted it for myself you know? It annoys me to hell that it gets in the way of the dom side that I usually have. It's always just been that way for me. My sexuality also influences how I interact. It turns me into a person foreign to what I'm used to. Besides I don't appreciate the desire to give up control. I've had so many thing out of my control with disassociation and such. Having the desire to fall apart is nauseating and feels like betrayal. Not to mention having something that would typically give you a panic attack and suddenly you develop the capacity to enjoy and then you have no choice but to have to feelings because thEIR FUCKIGN RHeere. You get the picture.  

Many subs end up with those desires from trying to control so much of their lives in other ways. It's like the brain says enough control, give in sometimes. Maybe it has sparked because of your need for control? Lots of subs are people who otherwise are control freaks in every day life (not saying you are, btw, just saying many end up being)

[Guest]

18 hours ago, Serran said:

Many subs end up with those desires from trying to control so much of their lives in other ways. It's like the brain says enough control, give in sometimes. Maybe it has sparked because of your need for control? Lots of subs are people who otherwise are control freaks in every day life (not saying you are, btw, just saying many end up being)

I have some anxiety but other than that I'm not really a control freak. I have I'd say about the same-ish level of everyone else, maybe a little more. I don't go around in life trying to control things. In fact one of the few aspects I'm desperate to have my way is simply being solely dominant. I've just simply had many things in my life out of my control and the one thing I fall back on, which is retreating into my head. It sucks having that turned on it's head. When I'm dom, it lasts for a good while (8 months was the last run) and it lasts longer. I'm not someone who has any authority either. Too much responsibility. I'm well aware of that sort of thing though. I'm just hope testosterone will just be that final nail in the coffin that really shortens the time period of it. 

[Carolyn Wright]

On 3/27/2020 at 6:54 AM, Serran said:

Many subs end up with those desires from trying to control so much of their lives in other ways. It's like the brain says enough control, give in sometimes. Maybe it has sparked because of your need for control? Lots of subs are people who otherwise are control freaks in every day life (not saying you are, btw, just saying many end up being)

[deleted]

Edited June 21, 2021 by Carolyn Wright
Privacy

[2XD]

This is definitely something im excited about exploring. Before, when I was with sexual partners, this was a total no-go for me, because anything sensual could possibly lead to sex and it made me hold back on pretty much all physical activities towards the end. Pretty much shut off.

 

Now with my ace bf, things have been very comfortable so far. He actually has experience with BDSM from a past relationship and is open to experimenting. I never expected myself to be so into the physical aspects of a relationship and enjoy "playtime". 

[Rosendust]

Spoiler

After certain circumstances, and finally letting my guard down(in terms of my Little Girl personality), felt so freeing knowing I do not have to hide my true personality and my true desires

 

[Jarle]

I've been distracted by thoughts of being tied down/restrained or various sensation plays over the past week or two. I'm curious to try and explore this when I can but I have no idea where to begin, or even if this is genuine or if I'm just bored with quarantine conditions. Has anyone else been here? 

[Guest]

23 minutes ago, Jarle said:

I've been distracted by thoughts of being tied down/restrained or various sensation plays over the past week or two. I'm curious to try and explore this when I can but I have no idea where to begin, or even if this is genuine or if I'm just bored with quarantine conditions. Has anyone else been here? 

Well you can always research and find out what your limits are.  What have you done before if anything as in relationship or the sort. Maybe write down a list of things that might be fun. Find some that you can explore on your own. 

 

On 4/23/2020 at 5:34 PM, Rosendust said:

  Hide contents

After certain circumstances, and finally letting my guard down(in terms of my Little Girl personality), felt so freeing knowing I do not have to hide my true personality and my true desires

 

I am glad that you can be your true self ... Not many people are able to find that.  I hope it all works out for you.  

[Bloc]

25 minutes ago, Jarle said:

I've been distracted by thoughts of being tied down/restrained or various sensation plays over the past week or two. I'm curious to try and explore this when I can but I have no idea where to begin, or even if this is genuine or if I'm just bored with quarantine conditions. Has anyone else been here? 

I miss being tied sometimes and I want to explore temperature play and pain more. A good start maybe a visiting a workshop after quarantine ends. Or if you have a partner you can meet with you could try it together. But especially for bondage you should learn how to avoid risks like nerve damage.

[Jarle]

1 hour ago, Sir_The_Last said:

Well you can always research and find out what your limits are.  What have you done before if anything as in relationship or the sort. Maybe write down a list of things that might be fun. Find some that you can explore on your own. 

I have precious little privacy at the moment, but that's certainly something worth considering more, even without a partner - though it seems more fun with one. 

 

1 hour ago, Bloc said:

I miss being tied sometimes and I want to explore temperature play and pain more.

Come to think of it, temperature might have something to do with where these thoughts came from. I've been having hot/cold showers for a while now for training/recovery purposes, but lately I've been paying more attention to the sensations from that. Cheers!

I have a couple of tickets to some local workshops that are on hold because of the pandemic, I can't wait to try them out!

[Bloc]

13 hours ago, Jarle said:

Come to think of it, temperature might have something to do with where these thoughts came from. I've been having hot/cold showers for a while now for training/recovery purposes, but lately I've been paying more attention to the sensations from that. Cheers!

Wax play would be interesting. But I still need to get suitable candles, the ones I have are tlo hot, and I have to wait till the end of the lockdown, so I can do it together with a partner.

[Interference]

Spoiler

i enjoy submission and petplay, and yet it feels....wrong? my cis bf and i have rules and protocols in case things goes wrong with either of us, he's so, so supportive and caring of me in and out of the 'zone', and yet it still feels off. it's as if a small voice is in my head and yelling that 'i shouldn't do this, you're perpetuating gender stereotypes (i'm afab, gender pending), you're literally contributing to women suffering and you like it???? shame on you' and it's....annoying.

 

i want it to go away but it just keeps coming back with more arguments to the point i can't enjoy them anymore. it seems that i'm bent on ruining things for myself. bummer. 

 

[The Barefoot Backpacker]

On 5/4/2020 at 4:23 AM, Bloc said:

I miss being tied sometimes 

* sigh. All the feels.

I find it ... comforting. Like a hug. But with rope. And I oddly find it almost anti-sexual too, like 'I'm too comfortable, I just want to relax and sleep now'.

I'm very strongly kink-friendly, but in a completely platonic way.

[Rosendust]

Spoiler

I just wish I didn't feel guilty about seeking a platonic dom, but I really need my desires fulfilled. 

 

[Guest]

On 5/6/2020 at 10:55 PM, Interference said:

  Hide contents

i enjoy submission and petplay, and yet it feels....wrong? my cis bf and i have rules and protocols in case things goes wrong with either of us, he's so, so supportive and caring of me in and out of the 'zone', and yet it still feels off. it's as if a small voice is in my head and yelling that 'i shouldn't do this, you're perpetuating gender stereotypes (i'm afab, gender pending), you're literally contributing to women suffering and you like it???? shame on you' and it's....annoying.

 

i want it to go away but it just keeps coming back with more arguments to the point i can't enjoy them anymore. it seems that i'm bent on ruining things for myself. bummer. 

 

Just have to say, you're perpetuating the right of women to CHOOSE what they want intimately, which is one of the most basic, fundamental things that has been missing from women's sexuality for decades, centuries, millennia.

 

The right for women to CHOOSE what they want in bed is, I think, one of the greatest achievements of the past.. I don't know, forever!

 

Because how dare men historically be the ones to call the shots and have whatever they want in bed, for so long, while women are expected by all of society to just 'take it' and let it happen to her???

 

Be empowered within your right to choose. And remember that heck, every single act you could ever desire can also be used as a way to make someone suffer if that person doesn't want it. Some women love being fisted, but that is a form of torture used by sick men sometimes. Does that mean a woman should feel guilty just because she likes being fisted?? Or what if a woman loves regular vaginal sex. Should she feel guilty about that because it's one of the most oppressive things forced upon almost every woman alive, to force her to have kids, for literally millennia??? Feck no. She should be empowered in her love of what she wants, and her right to choose that.

 

She should bask in that newfound right that women now have, and always remember she has something that women who went before her, and many women right throughout the world just do not have; the right to choose.

 

That's empowering and it's beautiful. And it's so sad that something so simple (a woman's right to choose what pleases her in bed) is so taboo to this day that some still feel guilt over having their own needs met. That's sad. You should never feel guilt. Not for something so beautiful as your right to choose 💚

[Rosendust]

Spoiler

I honestly just wish that my bf's landlord wasn't wanting to talk to me all the time that he and I want to cuddle(and my other related kinks), I understand he regards me as a friend but we deserve what little time we get, y'know? Does that make me\Us selfish?

 

[Guest]

i've realized i have some kinks i want to explore, does anyone have tips for getting started (once social distancing relaxes)?

 

i'm mildly apprehensive about having to explain the interplay between my asexuality and kink...have y'all found others in the bdsm community to be respectful/understanding? 

[batmmann5]

9 hours ago, sarge said:

i've realized i have some kinks i want to explore, does anyone have tips for getting started (once social distancing relaxes)?

 

i'm mildly apprehensive about having to explain the interplay between my asexuality and kink...have y'all found others in the bdsm community to be respectful/understanding? 

Yes, we are pretty understanding.  It is all about consent.  Most play at parties is non-sexual in my experience, of multiple states and countries.  Fetlife.com would be a good place to go and do searches for the community.  Some don't like Fetlife, but it is the best to find the community.  It used to be hard to find the community, but now it is very easy.  If you have any questions, let me know.  I am batmman on there and there is a group called Asexual and Kinky, with like 4,000 members.  Good luck.  Brian

[Jarle]

16 hours ago, sarge said:

i've realized i have some kinks i want to explore, does anyone have tips for getting started (once social distancing relaxes)?

 

i'm mildly apprehensive about having to explain the interplay between my asexuality and kink...have y'all found others in the bdsm community to be respectful/understanding? 

I'm kinda in the same boat, and lucky enough to likely be in my own apartment at the other end of the quarantine. I'm about 15% apprehensive and the rest excited at the potential to find trustworthy and likeable people to dive into this area.  

[Guest]

On 5/25/2020 at 10:28 AM, batmmann5 said:

Good luck.

thank you, and thanks for the advice!  I'll check out fetlife.

[Bloc]

8 hours ago, sarge said:

thank you, and thanks for the advice!  I'll check out fetlife.

FetLife can be good way to connect with people and find events. You should not be repulsed by seeing genitals and sexual imagery when using the site. Or is there a way to avoid this I don't know?

[Jarle]

I made an account a couple months ago - you know, right before a global pandemic. Social restrictions will be eased next week, maybe it's a good time to jump back on and see what's going on. 

 

I had a conversation with a friend recently about exploring these things with a trusted playmate, and we kinda both came to the conclusion that a lot of what I want to do is on the submissive side of things. Anyone willing to share some tips or experiences about submissive/dominant relationships?

[Guest]

6 hours ago, Jarle said:

a lot of what I want to do is on the submissive side of things. Anyone willing to share some tips or experiences about submissive/dominant relationships?

same, I'd also be interested to hear what y'all have to say 

[KiraS]

If your top whines about your boundaries run!

[CampFire]

On 6/7/2017 at 7:34 PM, TheFatDrake said:

*just sits here eating some  wondering if anyone is into feederism/weight gain*

 

>_>

Yes, I am! It’s been so hard finding other ace people who are into it! I personally have no desire for physical sex however since I was 17 I’ve been attracted to people saying certain things that relate to being fat/gaining weight/not being conventionally attractive. I’ve actually found that the only way for me to get « aroused » is by reading fan fiction, it’s all very mental for me. Interesting thing is: as a kid I was extremely fatfobic and I had a hard time accepting my attraction. Thankfully now I’m not fatphobic anymore but I have a feeling this attraction might come from this somehow ? I’ve fully accepted it but I’m still afraid to tell people about as I fear 1. Lacking respect to fat people and fetishising them 2. Being juges by others for being attracted to something that is not considered to be conventionnally attractive. 

[Littleface]

On 5/17/2019 at 11:21 PM, CelesteAdAstra said:

So I do have a few "interests" that I consider fetishes. They used to play a big part in doubting my asexuality, because all of them are tied to people wearing or displaying them (e.g. my military uniform fetish and my weird-ass fetish for standoffishness/uptightness), but eventually I realized that if the fetish is not involved anymore, the attraction quickly fades. So for example, when a person undresses, they are suddenly not that attractive anymore.

The type of desire/attraction my fetishes produce is quite vague. I wouldn't say it's a sexual desire per se, as they don't specifically spark sexual thoughts. It's more of a mix of sensual, aesthetic and erotic, if that makes sense - I like to look at people involved in my fetish, to admire them and possibly to become sensual if I ever got the opportunity to interact with anyone willing to participate. I DO consider people displaying my fetishes to be very attractive in an erotic way, perhaps even "sexy" if an ace is allowed to use that word ^^, and I like to fantasize about them. Nevertheless, those fantasies don't include actual intercourse and there's no physical arousal involved, just a mental one. There's no desire for masturbation either.

Adult movies with the fetish don't appeal to me at all, because they contain undressing. And people acting annoyingly sexual. And actual sex. And that's absolutely not what I'm here for 🤣

I never talked to anyone about my fetishes before, but AVEN seems the safest place to do so. Considering that, I wonder if there's anyone here who shares my fetishes? It's not that I want to meet and play these ideas out, it would just be nice to hear that someone shares my "weird side" 😂

Hey, sorry I know your post is quite old but I've just been reading through this thread and I relate a hell of a lot to what you're saying. I have a similar thing, based around aesthetic and clothing- but I like mainly stuff like leather and latex. The second the clothes come off it's not interesting anymore haha. I have a very specific 'crush' i guess you could say on one person from an eighties band who kind of fits into my aesthetic 'kink' and all of my fantasies revolve around him, there is no room for anything or anyone else. I've seen particular pictures of him from when he was younger fitting into this and it does arouse me, but whenever I've explored my kinks irl with SO's it's never enjoyable, I just prefer the fantasy. It's very confusing, so I absolutely understand your confusion because I'm in he exaaaact same boat lol.