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what can I do? sexual frustration


Morgen/Tara

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Morgen/Tara

I'm asexual, my I guess he's really my zucchini, is sexually frustrated, he is 17, furthest he's gone ever is a hug. He's also depressed and emotionally quite needy, I love him and he loves me he refuses to give up, I don't want to give up on us either but I feel awful that he's suffering. I don't know what I can do, I'm repulsed by the idea of sex and oral, and the sight of 'parts', but I want to help him. He won't accept the idea of me doing anything, I asked him what I could do and he says there's nothing to do, he won't like the idea of getting some elsewhere. Is there anything I could do that would help him that's not too sexual? How bad is sexual frustration and can it be managed? Note: He says masturbating makes it worse also he says it'll never go away, I get the feeling he plans to be celibate with me for life, as all he really wants is to be 'perfect for' me, but is that feesable?

Please help, I feel awful about all this I blame myself I can't help it and it hurts. And he hates himself for being sexual and is suffering being sexually frustrated

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Touchofinsight

Honestly you two are not compatible. Hes a young sexual man who needs to explore his sexuality and express him self. Hes repressing his sexuality and over a long period of time that can become unhealthy. That doesn't mean you two can't be friends or be close/sensual, it just means you two aren't compatible for a long term monogamous relationship.

Let him go... hes hurting him self by trying to become someone hes not just so he can avoid being alone.... Being alone is fine, there is nothing wrong with it and both you and him need to learn that it is okay to be alone. In fact its essential that we learn that relationships are learning experiences. You'll likely get into many that will last as long as they can, but that doesn't mean they are a failure or the people involved in them failed because it didn't last the rest of their lives. That's putting your self to standards that really are far too ambitious.

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