Rue_RudeFly Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 So I'm so confused and lost. I feel like a boy, I fantasise about being a boy, I bind and I want to pack - but I feel like I should be dressing like a girl in parts. Does this even have a name? I'm like a cross dresser/drag queen in the wrong gender and it's eating at me because my dysphoria doesn't even match my want for certain clothes... I'm lost... Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 Hello, and welcome. Thanks for such a great question. Give you self time. And it will clear stuff up. Link to post Share on other sites
Geo Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 "Dressing like a girl" doesn't really mean anything. It's an entirely artificial social construct. Clothes are neither male or female, they are mostly just collections of plant fiber. Just wear which ever one you like. It has no actual relation to whether you are male or female. Link to post Share on other sites
TheStarrySkai Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 As Geo said, there are no girl clothes or boy clothes, just clothes. My friend told me about this transwoman who went through transition and everything, but is very much a tomboy to the extent that people mistake her as a boy. Apparently she is perfectly fine with that. She went through transitioning because she wasn't able to completely express her femininity properly. Link to post Share on other sites
eched Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 Hey! This reminds me of a character idea that I had of a trans man that wore dresses cause they felt nice. Ya, clothing doesn't always relate to gender. I think you wanting to dress like a girl doesn't take away from you being a guy at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Rue_RudeFly Posted June 28, 2014 Author Share Posted June 28, 2014 Thanks for the replies guys, kinda eased me a bit. Self discovery is awful and awesome all at once, but it's nice to know I'm not alone :) thank-oo! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 I get what you mean, I identify as Genderfluid, but I feel like this every couple months and it's extremely confusing and annoying in all honesty. I hope you can figure yourself out. Maybe you could go clothes shopping and try some stuff on till you find stuff that makes you happy/comfortable. Even if you don't buy anything, it'd still be nice for future reference. That's what I'm gonna do, Sometime in the next month or two I have to go clothes shopping for school so just gonna try a bunch of things on(male and female)till I found a good style and stuff. I wish you luck. ^^ Link to post Share on other sites
AmethystKitty Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 Just dress however you feel like. Simple. Link to post Share on other sites
KokoroKitty Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 For what it's worth, I identify as agender and am a bio female too. I still like "girl" clothes, but to me skirts are just more comfortable than trousers (I prefer shorts to trousers). I kind of like the idea of being seen as a crossdressing boy. ^_^ Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 skirts ARE super comfortable ^_^ Link to post Share on other sites
Chardog Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 I am female, have never felt such, but am perfectly fine with wearing dresses/heels/makeup when I'm in situations where I need to "dress up" (like work). It feels like I'm a guy who's really good at passing as a girl (drag queen-ish). Clothes are just clothes. Wearing "women's" clothing doesn't make me feel feminine. Link to post Share on other sites
abacct Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 Feminine transmen exist. Your gender expression and gender identity don't necessarily connect all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
pegasusoftraken Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 There are plenty of trans men who are cross-dressers/drag queens, and there's nothing wrong with that. Gender identity and how you dress or express your gender are all completely separate, and they don't have to align in the same way that they don't always align for cis people. Link to post Share on other sites
bobbyowl Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 I love wearing "girly" clothes and makeup and whatever but I'd totally go with "DFAB no longer!" if someone said "I can go back in time and change your genetic make up if you want!" So I think I know what you're talking about, holla. (did any of that make sense?) Link to post Share on other sites
benjamming Posted July 5, 2014 Share Posted July 5, 2014 I'm a transguy and I still LOVE dressing in feminine clothes, painting my nails, doing my hair, etc. But I feel like my gender is male, so it is (I refer to it as cross dressing when I dress in feminine clothing). Point is, you can do whatever your want, wear what you want; it doesn't mean that you don't feel a certain way. So you can identify as a boy, but still dress femininely. And anyway, as many have already said, there aren't really genders for clothes, just clothes. (Oh gosh I have so much more to say on this but I'm afraid it'd just get jumbled up!) Link to post Share on other sites
wolfe_spencer Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 Wow finally a place I can identify with! My whole life I have always had this problem, well at least when it got to the point where my parents stopped dressing me and choosing my clothes. My tomboy style has always had me confused. I've dressed in jeans, t-shirts, caps and tennis shoes. Ever since I grew boobs I've never felt comfortable in girl clothes or fitted shirts. It drives my mom crazy. She wishes I could dress like a girl. I don't even wear makeup because I feel fake or like im dressing up for Halloween. Link to post Share on other sites
Calligraphette_Coe Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 I guess I just wish for the impossible, that I not have to drive 200 miles away and stay in expensive motel rooms once or twice a year to express my true gender safely and not have to worry about having a job next week. For something that is not illegal, harms no one and only matters if someone finds out. No way to live. Link to post Share on other sites
Feathers Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 I have a male body, but don't identify as any gender. When I was younger I'd frequently wear makeup and paint my nails and wear unisex looking girl clothing. Sometimes I'd wear lots of pink, too. Everyone said I was confused or gay or that it was a phase. Wellllll once I found out about other gender identities a month or so ago it all makes sense and I'm trying to be myself again. :) The only downside is that sometimes it sems more trouble than it's worth if I'm going somewhere public because people feel the need to belittle me and ask me questions and then not listen to my answers...or threaten my life. Just keep doing your thing! SOMEDAY THE WORLD WILL UNDERSTAND!!! We're getting closer everyday. <3 Link to post Share on other sites
TheStarrySkai Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 One of my favorite jrock musicians is Hizaki. As far as I know he identifies as a guy, but he can easily be seen as a very pretty girl. One of my favorite quotes from him is: "The appearance doesn't matter as long as it's beautiful. That's how we live, to be beautiful." -------- ^^Just wanted to share that^^ Link to post Share on other sites
Wyrmcraft Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 If it makes you feel any better Rue, I'm physically male, mentally female, but I want to "dress like a guy". The way I used to joke about it myself is that I called myself a Tomboy. Obviously we can all dress however we want (though it's more socially acceptable for girls to wear guy clothes than visa versa) however I believe that society's perception of gender and clothing are very tied together. Because of this many of us have been trained that we should dress one way or the other and it's a difficult mind-set to break. Especially since when we find ourselves no longer on the solid socially drawn lines we've been taught, we start to question just what we need to do in order to fully identify ourselves with our "new" role. However, that isn't to say that you should go out and wear guy clothing because you feel like a guy. That's insane. You should wear whatever you want to wear, it doesn't matter how you want to look. You can go for a more masculine look with more feminine clothing, though that will make people think you are a girl and they will probably use female pronouns on you. Some people get hot and bothered about pronouns, understandably. Personally (and somewhat fortunately) I like male pronouns, but I'm a demigirl so I don't feel too strongly feminine. Just enough to almost be uncomfortable, though it does cross the line sometimes into uncomfortably since my gender seems to fluctuate a bit. (Feel free to check our definitions master list if you feel like you want some words to help define yourself or make your own: http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/55798-definitions-master-list/ ) Honestly, self-discovery can take some getting used to and it's never an easy road. While I don't suffer regularly from dysmorphia, it has happened on occasion and it would probably happen more often if I felt more strongly female than I currently do. I guess I'm lucky that I'm at least physically androgynous and it does give me the little fuzzies when I get misidentified from behind as female. I'm still not comfortable with things though, and I don't frequent these particular forums a lot because I still feel awkward when I focus on this aspect of myself. If you want someone to talk to about things, you can PM me. I don't know how much I can help but I like listening and I might have a few useful bits and pieces of advice. Link to post Share on other sites
ChocoboFFA Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 So I'm so confused and lost. I feel like a boy, I fantasise about being a boy, I bind and I want to pack - but I feel like I should be dressing like a girl in parts. Does this even have a name? I'm like a cross dresser/drag queen in the wrong gender and it's eating at me because my dysphoria doesn't even match my want for certain clothes... I'm lost... Omg yes.... people think I'm crazy when I say I'm a boy that wants to be a girl trapped in a girls body.... ik how much it sux Link to post Share on other sites
MissAish Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 Dont worry this is normal as sometimes I feel like a girl who wants to wear makeup and gets shy and all feelings as girl, I wish to get someone as you as my partner so that I can be his wife he can be my husband :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Confused/ am sad Posted March 7, 2017 Share Posted March 7, 2017 I feel sad every day of my life because im a girl. I just want to be a guy my sister is gay too but no one besides whoever reads this knows im gay. I struggle to come out and maybe never will but i know i cant live life as a lie so idk what ill do but i wont exsist if it gets to that point. I just wanna love a girl and show her how much i care and adore but im a girl there for it wont happen ive realized ive been gay for about probley 7 years and havent come out yet in 13 and scared because i cant live with myself our the dreams. Please help me i cant do this anymore Link to post Share on other sites
Confused/ am sad Posted March 7, 2017 Share Posted March 7, 2017 I realize this was made 2 years ago but in scared and i find death as a opportunity to be male but i had a friend who did that the pain was horrid please help me Link to post Share on other sites
LittleGoody2Shoes Posted March 9, 2017 Share Posted March 9, 2017 On 3/7/2017 at 2:47 AM, Confused/ am sad said: I realize this was made 2 years ago but in scared and i find death as a opportunity to be male but i had a friend who did that the pain was horrid please help me Try to find a support group in your area for transgender people. Link to post Share on other sites
Krissbb Posted February 14, 2019 Share Posted February 14, 2019 Zombie thread, but still very helpful for me with helping my youngest on their journey. Thank you! -bio girl. Insists (well over a year) that they're a boy, loves "girlie clothes", finally came to the conclusion. "I'm just a boygirlalien named E***" I now have a little more knowledge to share now. ❤️ Link to post Share on other sites
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