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"platoniromantic"!


warrigan

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i just found a new term for myself!
i'm "platoniromantic," which is on the aro spectrum, and it's basically where i don't experience the distinction between platonic and romantic attraction; it's all the same "love" emotion to me. i'm so excited to have found this! i don't feel a desire for a romantic relationship, and i don't believe i feel romantic attraction, so i've been labelling myself as aromantic. however, i feel like the "love" i experience for the people closest to me is very significant and edges just out of platonic territory without becoming romantic love. a few months ago i even tried to make up a label that meant my attraction was somewhere between platonic and romantic, but i didn't really like it and changed it to plain aromantic. i still identify with the aromantic label pretty strongly; i view my platoniromantic identity as a facet or dimension of my aromantic one, and for convenience's sake, i'll probably still refer to myself as aromantic, especially to non-ace friends who might not quite understand my perspective so well.

(apparently it's basically the same as "quoiromantic," but i like the term "platoniromantic" better because it seems much more descriptive to me.)

(i should add that i don't personally feel the difference between platonic and romantic love, but i believe it exists (i'm not one of those people that believes a romantic relationship without sex is "basically just friends"!).)

what do you guys think about this term? does anyone else identify as platoniromantic?

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iamphoenixfire

On a completely unrelated note because it is 130 am I read your post as "plantainromantic" and was very confused as to how one can be romantically attracted... to a plantain. Then I reread it and now things make sense.

But in any case I like this term. For me the distinctions between the two are very grey, especially when the romantic attraction is developing. However I do know the difference, for me. It's just harder because romantic attraction grows on me differently than platonic or sexual attraction. The others are more instantaneous (well I mean as instantaneous with sexual attraction as you can get when you're demisexual but you know what I mean it doesn't grow it more... fills a hole I didn't realize was there) where romantic grows a lot slower and steadier. But overall, I like the term.

And remember to eat your plantains.

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TheStarrySkai

On a completely unrelated note because it is 130 am I read your post as "plantainromantic" and was very confused as to how one can be romantically attracted... to a plantain. Then I reread it and now things make sense.

haha, a plantain.

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As a grey-romantic person I get really confused on whether or not I'm feeling romantic attraction. What I often have is I like the person in a 'more than just a friend way', but I'm not sure that what I'm feeling is romantic. I can get jealous, but not necessarily desire a romantic relationship. Hmmmm, maybe plantoniromantic would work for me.....

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I think it's a great term! ^.^ For the most part there is a difference for me between platonic love and romantic love but there is this one person that's stuck in between and it feels really weird for me because normally for me it's either one or the other... Glad this term exists!

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The distinction has never been clear to me, so this would describe me perfectly.

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binary suns

I just don't understand what "romance" is as a feeling. IDK. not the identity for me I guess, aromantic is concise enough for me.

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pegasusoftraken

That describes me perfectly... but I still prefer the label wtf-romantic, which basically describes the same thing.

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I've recently learned of 'quoiromantic' which is basically the same thing as wtfromantic and platoniromantic, just in a slightly easier way. I love it, and it perfectly describes me.

I find it really difficult to differentiate between aesthetic attraction towards friends and liking them in more-than-a-friend kind of way. It's made my past relationships difficult, that's for sure. At least there's a handful of words out there now that I can use to try and explain it to others!

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I really don't understand this. Wouldn't this be just anouther kind of grey-romantic?

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binary suns

isn't grey anything just an unbrella term until patterns emerge, begetting new labels for people to use?

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