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Describe the feeling when you have the urge to kiss someone


Chewy

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I mean tongue down each other's throat. What urge triggers the action and how does it feel during it? Just seem to be a bit slimy and disgusting to me. I have seen people do it they seem to be lost in each other.

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I don't think I have ever had "the urge to kiss someone" like that... :unsure: (goes off to sit in the aromantic corner).

I have tried it, but...it was years ago now, and...I can't remember what it was like...

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I would like to know as well :blink: I have no clue how it would feel like to want to do that (eww :blush: ).

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I'd also like to know. I'm aromantic and a bit romance repulsed, so kissing always felt weird and gross to me. I'm curious to see what its like for other people.

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Lol, yup.

Similar confussion with this subject.

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I have felt the urge to kiss someone, though those feelings never included the need for tongue-on-tongue action. I've tried french kissing but it's really not for me, especially because it always seems to go on for so long. Kisses should never be longer than a second or 4 -- it just gets so awkward otherwise because I'm never THAT into it.

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Why do you say french kiss takes too long? Is there a set method, rule?

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binary suns

I swoon I guess

no idea if it's a romance swoon tho

I don't really think of kissing as a romantic thing or whatever,

like when I did I was kiss-repulsed... but then in college I got drunk a few times, and discovered that actually I love kissing, and would totally kiss with whoever even if I loathed the person... altho I think if they were romantic about it I would probably get grossed out still

also, I refuse to kiss for less than 5 seconds lol JK but just I really get into the sensations that come with kissing, and IMO frenching is just more to explore

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I like kissing, but I wouldn't kiss just anyone. i guess there have to be at least platonic feelings for me to want to kiss someone. The urge for me it's kind of like when you see chocolate cake and you just can't wait to put it in your mouth, haha.

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Why do you say french kiss takes too long? Is there a set method, rule?

There's probably not a set method but people usually french kiss when they're really into it and have no intention of stopping anytime soon. At least, that's how I've experienced it :)

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Why do you say french kiss takes too long? Is there a set method, rule?

There's probably not a set method but people usually french kiss when they're really into it and have no intention of stopping anytime soon. At least, that's how I've experienced it :)

Sorry to sound stupid. What is the intent? To play with the tongue? Or aim to get some feelings below the belt?

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The following opinion is based on personal experience and what I think I know about biology, so its not applicable to everyone, and suffers from being a form of teleology.

Nevertheless, I would love to tell you what I think.

I've only kissed two girls: My first girlfriend and my wife.

I guess the first question to answer would be what on earth made me want to kiss them. Children's movies and typical teen flicks said kissing equals awesome, magical, etc. I believed them. The second was that in both instances, I was not repulsed by either of these girls. I would be repulsed if they looked and smelled like male body builders and had biker gang beards. Not because I don't think these people look cool, but my sexuality developed in a direction in which the thought of kissing such people repulses me. I'd kiss a male crayfish in a heartbeat...cuz they're just so darn cute. But I suppose that's a digression because we're talking about kisses with sexual intentions, not social kissing.

Anyway, my first kiss required the girl to practically tell me to kiss her, since I had developed certain boundaries with the opposite sex that were difficult to cross. I was nervous. So I needed a huge 'kiss me, stupid' in order to have any true motivation to kiss a girl. Beyond that, during my first kiss, my body was chock full of adrenaline and oxytocin, which effectively made me feel like I really, really enjoyed being with that person, they were extra attractive, and I was about to do something new and therefore exciting. This was an open mouth kiss, though not a 'tongue down your throat kiss', but the buzz in my head was quite similar.

My first kiss with my wife was a 'tongue down your throat' marathon kiss. I knew her in high school, and then she moved away and we ended up in a long distance relationship. I already had positive feelings about her, and had experienced the effects of oxytocin on the brain with her. But the distance and long distance phone conversations gave way to excessive fantasy, which included kissing, and these fantasies were all positive and increased the desirability and inhibition to kiss when we first got together in real life again, I think. I was not thinking ew, gross.

I suppose I should say that I had become an adrenaline junkie during puberty. In particular, I was introduced abruptly to the world of pornography when I accidentally discovered my Dad possessed a lot. It was all extremely shocking and scary, so there was a lot of adrenaline in my system. But there was also a lot of visual stimulus that caused an erection, and I wanted to masturbate. I did so, and the good feeling that comes from an orgasm got tied to adrenaline. The quality of the orgasm was one of the greatest and easiest I'd ever ever had, due to excessive visual input. Many similar incidents during adolescence tied adrenaline to positive outcome and sexual incentive. In other words, the more stressful the situation, the more appealing the stimulus. I usually get a pleasant, tingly sensation downstairs when I feel adrenaline in situation where sexual expression is appealing. Screwed up me.

So the adrenaline was a big push, and the fact that my first kiss sent my oxytocin levels soaring was another positive reinforcement. I also believed I really loved my future wife, was influenced by social portrayals of kissing, and had had tons of fantasies that were really great about kissing her. I was already sexually attracted to her because of her resemblance to certain sexual ques that I had developed and had a positive association with during puberty, but I am also aware in retrospect that insane levels of oxytocin effectively exaggerated these traits in my mind and made me oblivious to those that were not traits that I would normally find attractive in an individual. When we kissed, all of the sensations were pleasant: she was soft and smelled attractive. There was no hesitance in her kiss which lowered my inhibition. And as far as the aspects of this kiss that some would find particularly gross, 'slimy' felt soft and gentle, and adrenaline and oxytocin were at previously inexperienced levels, causing these sensations to be extremely pleasant due to the ability to elevate ones mood beyond the bounds of reason.

I should note as well that due to the nature of my masturbatory behavior that required lubrication, 'slimy' became a very positive thing for me early on. In other words, I could only achieve my most pleasant feeling body state by rubbing something 'slimy' on myself. So 'slimy' never had negative associations when it came to sexual behavior.

I would guess oxytocin had a roll in my first kiss with my wife, who growing up was repulsed by sharing food, hugging, kissing, holding hands, smells, crunchy onions--a lot of things. Very sensitive, and still is about a lot of things :P So I think oxytocin made her unaware of the things she found repulsive, but she had to believe she was in love with me in order for her brain to start producing that chemical like mad, and I think I supplied her with a fair share of positive fantasy about our lives together before we were living together. Then I think because she had so many positive experiences when we first got together, she lost a sense of revulsion when it came to certain things as long as they were with me. Maybe my wife will have something to add to that, but she's sleeping, now :P

But you know what? Mustard gives me the heebie jeebies. I would have immense difficulty kissing my wife if she had a mouth full of mustard...*shudder* Mayonnaise, too, which leaves a film on ones mouth that rubs me the wrong way--I had trouble not getting grossed out when I would kiss her after she ate something with mayonnaise, but we don't eat dairy anymore so that's not a problem, hihi. And she has trouble kissing me when I smell a certain way, but it must have been a health problem I had because she can't smell it anymore. Apologies for the digression^^

Any more clarifications you'd like, let me know and I'll do my best~

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Otakuzaru, thanks for the insight. (once again)

Hum... oxytocin... something for me to look up.

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I don't think anything I say can measure up to otakuzaru's response. I think he did a pretty good job of describing it.

For me, personally, I don't really like open-mouthed kisses. Of course, all of the ones I've experienced were a result of drinking, with people I am very much not romantically attracted to, so I can't say whether or not I would enjoy them with someone I'm romantically involved with. But I do enjoy close-mouthed kisses. Very much so. And I can only imagine how much better it would be with someone I really liked.

But I can say that urge to kiss someone, for me, is just a result of the warm, fuzzy feeling I get from being around them. I just like them so freaking much that I want to express it in one of the only ways I know how. Kissing for me has always been associated with feelings of strong affection, so I get that urge. Maybe someday I'll meet someone I want to play tonsil hockey with, but I don't see that day coming anytime soon.

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For me it's like when you're really hungry for a specific food and you get the food; that feeling right before chowing down that's kind of like "I've been waiting for this and I don't want to hold back anymore".

I'm hungry lol :P dinnertime!

I only really like open mouthed kissing when I'm physically aroused and attracted to someone. Since right now I feel like I do experience rare sexual attraction (as well as strong sensual attraction and aesthetic attraction), it is triggered as a result of usually the latter two, but will also be triggered for sure if I'm sexually attracted to someone.

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I mean tongue down each other's throat. What urge triggers the action and how does it feel during it? Just seem to be a bit slimy and disgusting to me. I have seen people do it they seem to be lost in each other.

Ew. I don't get that urge, ever. At most I'd be comfortable with fairly chaste kissing. Dunno how to describe how that feels, though.

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Beats me. Never experienced this urge, because I don't care much for kissing. And I have had some experience with it before, so it's not like it's something I've never done. Most people seem to describe a sort of pleasurable shock or jolt sensation when it comes to kissing, but I never got anything like that.

I'm not aromantic either, since a few others here have pointed out that they were >_>

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iamphoenixfire

I think otakuzaru explained it pretty well. But I'm going to explain things from my view.

First off, I'm a demiromantic demisexual. I have to really care about a person before i am attracted to them.

I remember about 2 years ago, i was "talking" to this guy. We hung out once. We were cuddling and he looked like he wanted to kiss me but he got scared i think. But i didnt want to kiss him. The cuddling was nice... but i realized that i didnt really like him at that moment. I had felt the urge to kiss before and i wanted to kiss someone- it looked fun to me.

Now I'm with my boyfriend. And that urge... See, kissing is different. With touch... you can touch yourself and even though it's not the same mentally the physical response and pleasure is still there. But kissing... you can't replicate the feeling of someone's lips against yours, you kissing them and them kissing you back, the feeling of your tongue in their mouth or their tongue in your mouth. And let me tell you... it's exhilarating. But imagination can only take you so far.

the feeling you get.... it's like you flood with Oxytocin and adrenaline. you look at that person, and you start to get goosebumps and shivers and you get all happy and you feel this emotion that cannot be named but you want to, you need to express it, and the only way you can think of expressing that is pressing your lips onto theirs. It's an urge, to kiss and be kissed- it's like a sex drive, almost, but not quite, as you really can't "take care of it." you just have to live with it, wait. And then you want to kiss other parts of them, to show how beautiful you think that person is, you just want to kiss them, and run your hands up and down their body because they are just so.... beautiful. you are standing in front of this person and you just care about them, so so much, that your feeling isn't just your mind, but your body, your body wants them too. your body wants to feel them, be with them. That, to me, is how I feel when I have the urge to kiss someone. It's attraction in essence, sensual or sexual or romantic or hell even platonic. That is that urge. And God, to me, it feels so good. And now, I just need to satisfy that urge, the urge to kiss the one I love. At times, I feel like that would solve most anything, even though I know that is foolhardy. But I don't really care. The urge, the attraction, the love- it's worth it. Really, really worth it.

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WhenSummersGone

When I want to kiss it just means I want to feel good with that person. Lip kissing feels better to me and I enjoy it. It's affectionate and romantic for me. I've never had the desire to french kiss but based on experience it seems like the guys I was with liked it, so it became a habit to do it. I'm not really a fan of making out, it gets boring quickly.

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I think otakuzaru explained it pretty well. But I'm going to explain things from my view.

First off, I'm a demiromantic demisexual. I have to really care about a person before i am attracted to them.

I remember about 2 years ago, i was "talking" to this guy. We hung out once. We were cuddling and he looked like he wanted to kiss me but he got scared i think. But i didnt want to kiss him. The cuddling was nice... but i realized that i didnt really like him at that moment. I had felt the urge to kiss before and i wanted to kiss someone- it looked fun to me.

Now I'm with my boyfriend. And that urge... See, kissing is different. With touch... you can touch yourself and even though it's not the same mentally the physical response and pleasure is still there. But kissing... you can't replicate the feeling of someone's lips against yours, you kissing them and them kissing you back, the feeling of your tongue in their mouth or their tongue in your mouth. And let me tell you... it's exhilarating. But imagination can only take you so far.

the feeling you get.... it's like you flood with Oxytocin and adrenaline. you look at that person, and you start to get goosebumps and shivers and you get all happy and you feel this emotion that cannot be named but you want to, you need to express it, and the only way you can think of expressing that is pressing your lips onto theirs. It's an urge, to kiss and be kissed- it's like a sex drive, almost, but not quite, as you really can't "take care of it." you just have to live with it, wait. And then you want to kiss other parts of them, to show how beautiful you think that person is, you just want to kiss them, and run your hands up and down their body because they are just so.... beautiful. you are standing in front of this person and you just care about them, so so much, that your feeling isn't just your mind, but your body, your body wants them too. your body wants to feel them, be with them. That, to me, is how I feel when I have the urge to kiss someone. It's attraction in essence, sensual or sexual or romantic or hell even platonic. That is that urge. And God, to me, it feels so good. And now, I just need to satisfy that urge, the urge to kiss the one I love. At times, I feel like that would solve most anything, even though I know that is foolhardy. But I don't really care. The urge, the attraction, the love- it's worth it. Really, really worth it.

Iamphoneixfire, you write well. Makes me feel envious of those feelings.

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  • 2 months later...
ItAllMakesSense

I just hope to God that the guy I kiss enjoys it. I think it's a weird act and would prefer another way to express love but I'm not outcasting it if that's what he likes. When I have the urge to kiss someone I guess I feel pressured to. But if I actually WANT to go in for a kiss, I feel good to go and ready to get it done. I guess I'm not really biased to or against it. It's whatevs.

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  • 2 months later...

It's just an urge like every other urge, only one that drives you to kiss someone. It's a sweet and bonding act. I would do it again with someone I liked.

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Er. French kissing, I don't know, I've never had that urge. The concept of it is frankly very intimidating, for me.

Kissing though ... the urge I can't describe in any better terms than, well, an urge. I found myself watching her lips and just really wanting to touch them with mine. I was crushing damn hard on her, if that helps

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I've never had that urge. I don't like tongue kissing... it's just really slimy and gross and the one and only time I tried it I think I almost gagged. (More things that really should've signaled I was ace since forever!) But for non-slobbery kisses, I just get this intense feeling of emotion and I want to show them how I feel and then I want to kiss them. <3

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Bah there is no explanation...

It feels like it is something that must done. You just think "My holy giggles I want to kiss you so much!" and then you can't control it.

It is so basic and "primitive" that the thought of missing the opportunity seems unbearable, unforgivable!

It is almost as if you were telling them "Let me show you how much I love you" by kissing them.

Of course, that is when you have somewhat of a romantic attraction towards the person you are kissing.

When it is a party or something the like, there is somewhat of an excitement. Your guts revolve and you feel somewhat nervous and with a lot of expectations and the rush of emotions and sensations make of it a levitating experience. Almost transcendental (holy wacks!). The kissing itself feels sublime. Hearing the person's breathing and feeling the coldness of their lips is just reeeally good... There is no way to explain really.

Feel the person close to you, caressing you and hunting your tongue and playing with your mouth is delightful.

Ah well, yea I already said somewhere that I personally like kissing. :D

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As a demisexual: I don't feel this way for people outside of a relationship that has been going on a while. A WHILE. Not just like a few weeks, like months and months.

With that in mind and that we are talking about a...passionate kiss rather than just a playful or a chaste one...Well, your heart starts to pump faster and you suddenly notice you are breathing manually. There is a kind of ache in your lungs and your lips, almost like your body is quivering or somehow vibrating. The tingle of your lips of that expected connection is what is really hard to deal with and you want to get closer, close enough to smell the other person even if you don't notice what they smell like. That is just your body gathering sensory information you don't even process on an intellectual level.

Honestly, I am relatively indifferent to tongue...since there is a lot you can do before tongues even get involved. The whole tongue aspect is kind of fun but at the same time I admit to knowing absolutely NOTHING about what I am doing in that situation. With my Ex and I we would both just giggle since we were clueless as to how to french kiss "correctly" and just did whatever felt good.

Personally, I get really nervous and I have to fight with myself when I feel that urge to get closer. I really do not kiss lightly, and sometimes I feel guilty for wanting to kiss the person even though that makes no real sense. If I can conquer the anxiety though it feels great.

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Mycroft is Yourcroft

While I'm aro and asexual, I'm pretty sensual with people I really love. If I ever feel like kissing someone, the physical feeling manifests itself around my sternum; a sort of hungry feeling. Mentally, it feels like a pull towards them. Picture those seagulls from 'Finding Nemo' going 'MINE. MINE.': For me it feels a little like that. Wanting the person's affections or attentions for the duration of a kiss or twenty.

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romantic-woman

Kissing can be in many types. When i feel it, it is not like in most people, i mean i don't want to have a kiss as a pre-action for something more and i don't get turn on of course.

It is like when i see a cute animal or a nice food. A kiss , if it is tender and slow, is a way to show your nice feelings about the person you love.

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Oh, wow. I'm romantic, but I don't want to do that to someone. Kiss them in a ritual, i.e. honey I'm home manner, would be fine by me though. And, it really wouldn't include that.

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