Aqualus Posted June 14, 2014 Share Posted June 14, 2014 As awful as it feels, you're not alone. If you're interested in a person that way, no matter how much you suppress those feelings, you're still going to be invested in their romantic lives. So your gut reaction is "Oh, maybe that means I can be with them now" Logic always comes in and smacks you in the face for it later. But it's an okay thing to feel. Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted June 14, 2014 Share Posted June 14, 2014 Because you're human, apparently. I have the opposite sort of reaction as you (and presumably, most other people) in that I'll actually feel bad for a romantic interest if they were to undergo a breakup, or any other sort of hardship really. It's one of many ways in which my thinking doesn't seem to line up with the norm and has me feeling pretty alien most of the time, like I'm not experiencing things the same way everyone else does. Link to post Share on other sites
Aqualus Posted June 14, 2014 Share Posted June 14, 2014 That's understandable, too, Philip. It might actually mean you're MORE invested than most people are. As you care about their feelings more than their availability. (NOT THAT EITHER OF THEM ARE BAD, I'm the same as Kate, I feel a little joy and then logic smacks me in the feelings until I feel like an awful person) Link to post Share on other sites
Kitkat6020 Posted June 14, 2014 Author Share Posted June 14, 2014 - Link to post Share on other sites
_miacat Posted June 14, 2014 Share Posted June 14, 2014 I say be bold and go for it. You sound like you really appreciate and enjoy being around him. You never know what could be. Link to post Share on other sites
Aqualus Posted June 14, 2014 Share Posted June 14, 2014 Being happy for yourself doesn't mean you can't be sad for them. Of course you're sad that they're sad, but you're allowed to be happy to have a possible chance. You can feel more than one emotion at a time. And for all you know the breakup was good for them. Link to post Share on other sites
virtua Posted June 14, 2014 Share Posted June 14, 2014 Because you're human, apparently. I have the opposite sort of reaction as you (and presumably, most other people) in that I'll actually feel bad for a romantic interest if they were to undergo a breakup, or any other sort of hardship really. It's one of many ways in which my thinking doesn't seem to line up with the norm and has me feeling pretty alien most of the time, like I'm not experiencing things the same way everyone else does. I don't think it's weird. I think my happiness right now is weird. If you really like and care about a person, you want them to be happy. That may mean being in a relationship that doesn't involve you. It doesn't matter if the feelings you or anyone else experience are abnormal or not. All that matters is if those feelings are beneficial to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Kitkat6020 Posted June 14, 2014 Author Share Posted June 14, 2014 - Link to post Share on other sites
Aqualus Posted June 14, 2014 Share Posted June 14, 2014 That's just silly. I'm totally guilty of thinking the same, and it's a good idea to give him some time, saying something right after a break up is not the wisest of ideas. But just being afraid of the awkwardness is awful. In the end it's up to you, of course. And I'm not saying to do something you don't want to do. I'm just saying that not doing something because you're scared of what might happen will get you nowhere. Trust me, it's all I do. Haha, but still. I wish you lots of luck, even if you choose just to stay friends and never say anything. But remember that if you do say something and even if he's not interested, there's a chance you might be able to stay friends. It's happened with me. Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted June 14, 2014 Share Posted June 14, 2014 Happened with me as well. With someone on this site, actually! Honestly it would have felt more awkward for me in the end had I not said anything. I'm a very honest, upfront sort... bad at keeping things bottled in. :< Link to post Share on other sites
Kitkat6020 Posted June 14, 2014 Author Share Posted June 14, 2014 - Link to post Share on other sites
Aworld Posted June 14, 2014 Share Posted June 14, 2014 Well, some asexuals are still flirty and forward, so it's not entirely impossible! (Unlikely though.) And some sexuals are fine with dating asexual people. It all depends on the person. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.