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Incredible Aromantic Moments (other romantic orientations invited)


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I've certainly had plenty of aro moments. Like when I slept over at my friend's house to play D&D and my mom freaks out because I'm the only girl. (I was always one of the guys in that group, though.)

Mom: "What if someone does something?"

Me: <pause> "I'd punch 'em in the nose?"

Mom: ...

Me: "Hey, you're the one sending me to martial arts classes!"

There was also a boy in high school who sent me love poems for a while, and my mom really pressured me to go on a 'date' with him.

Me: "But nothing's going to happen!"

Mom: "You have to tryyyyy! You won't know unless you try!"

Me: "If I go, and nothing happens - like it won't - will you stop talking about it?"

<later...>

Mom: "So, how'd it go?"

Me: "We saw a movie."
Mom: "Annnnnnd?"

Me: "...We saw a movie."

Mom: "What about him?"

Me: "I'm hoping I disappointed him."

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The biggest aromantic moments I have are any time romance is "in the air" so to speak whether it's people discussing romantic partners or I'm watching a romantic movie. I just roll my eyes and wait for the subject to change or the cool part to happen. It just makes me feel weird and awkward. I'm just like, "Uh, yeah, I don't get romance, so I'm gonna just think about Orphan Black in my corner, while you guys gush about mushy stuff..."

Orphan Black is awesome, but don't ever try to discuss it with someone else because they will inevitably talk about their ships as if the whole show revolved around that.

My biggest aro moment recently happened while discussing Sherlock on tumblr. Apparently I am unable to see this romantic subtext everyone else sees...

They look pretty platonic to me, I just think that everyone who watches the show is just overreacting, as evidenced by a CollegeHumor video about OTP ships and stuff. I understand that they are supposed to be exaggerated, but many, many people I know both offline and online act that way regarding Sherlock.

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I've certainly had plenty of aro moments. Like when I slept over at my friend's house to play D&D and my mom freaks out because I'm the only girl. (I was always one of the guys in that group, though.)

Something kind of similar happened to me last year (I didn't know about being aromantic or ace at the time). One of my friends had a summer internship about 2 hours away, so a few of my other friends planned a weekend road trip to her apartment to visit. My parents were all for it until they found out our guy friend was going with us. Then they got all concerned that "something might happen" if a co-ed group was staying overnight together without supervision. It took me way longer than it should have to even realize the potential problem, because nothing like that had even crossed my mind. I just saw it as a fun trip with my friends. :/

I did get to go on the trip though. One of the best weekends of the summer, and no romance or sex was involved at all! :D

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I've certainly had plenty of aro moments. Like when I slept over at my friend's house to play D&D and my mom freaks out because I'm the only girl. (I was always one of the guys in that group, though.)

Something kind of similar happened to me last year (I didn't know about being aromantic or ace at the time). One of my friends had a summer internship about 2 hours away, so a few of my other friends planned a weekend road trip to her apartment to visit. My parents were all for it until they found out our guy friend was going with us. Then they got all concerned that "something might happen" if a co-ed group was staying overnight together without supervision. It took me way longer than it should have to even realize the potential problem, because nothing like that had even crossed my mind. I just saw it as a fun trip with my friends. :/

I did get to go on the trip though. One of the best weekends of the summer, and no romance or sex was involved at all! :D

That sounds just about perfect! ;)

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Conscientious Ghost

When people talk about their dream guy and/or girl to date and/or marry, I stare at the wall or ceiling hoping they won't ask me.

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Today someone I know got married and I didn't go to the wedding because I haven't been close with them in ages, but everyone assumed it was because I didn't want to go alone. :mad:

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Three of my cousins are getting married next year. I am wondering if I am going to get a +1 invite or not to any of the weddings. I am probably going to go, but, not really looking forward to it. And going to avoid the groom throwing the garter or whatever the ritual is for seeing who is going to get married next.

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One of my suitemates was in her room with her boyfriend and I went over to ask if I could borrow a book for my paper. It never occurred to me that they would be in there making out and making use of "alone time."

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Every time my mom brings up the topic of dating and I tell her I'm not interested, only for her to insist I'm "just shy" or that I'm lying. I can deal with it from relatives I only see once every couple of years, but it's a lot more annoying coming from my mom.

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Someone asked me on a date one time and I told them I had stuff to do that weekend and they thought I was "playing hard to get" and I was so confused. Eventually I was like, I don't date. Ever. Also, I have plans this weekend.

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Three of my cousins are getting married next year. I am wondering if I am going to get a +1 invite or not to any of the weddings. I am probably going to go, but, not really looking forward to it. And going to avoid the groom throwing the garter or whatever the ritual is for seeing who is going to get married next.

This reminds me of when my brother was getting married a couple of years ago. He shoved me into the group of unmarried girls when it was time for the bride to throw her bouquet for that silly 'whoever catches it will marry next' thing. I was delighted when it flew past me by about a mile (and almost hit the bride's ten-year-old cousin).

Also, that same evening, I kept wondering why my brother's work colleague kept being so nice to me, bringing me drinks, offering to fetch some food, asking me for a dance and keeping me company when I got tired of all the festivities.. I mean, in retrospect it's quite obvious, but all I could think of back then was 'Dude, last time we saw each other I was 7 and you stole my favourite hat! Also, those pancakes are delicious, I love pancakes!'

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"uhm...I kinda liked you for a while now..we've been friends for such a long time..Wanna go out?" -Friend

"Meh"- Me

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"So Siv who do you like?":

"I don't like people"

"You got to like someone"

"Nope"

"Buuuuuuull shit"

"I don't like people like at all"

"OMG SIV JUST TELL ME WHO YOU LIKE!!!"

*Class is now staring*

"Fine then I like Niemand"

"Whos that?"

Hehe. They spent a week trying to find Niemand.

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clockworktea

I am completely oblivious to romantic things from other people. I had a reasonably close friend ask me out and it took me five minutes to realise that was even what he'd done (I count myself lucky I said no - that would have been an incredibly awkward conversation). Plus I regularly don't realise I'm being 'hit on' until my friends point it out.

But yeah, echoing everyone else with the "so who do you like?" conversations. Nobody. Really, nobody. No, I'm not lying. Shut up.

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I can never tell in films when two people are flirting or are into each other, when it gets to the obligatory romance scene I roll my eyes and skip forwards.

Before I identified as ace:

"are you into girls?"

"no"

"are you into boys?"

"no"

"so...you aren't into anyone?"

"yep"

*stares at me, confused*

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theboringalien

mum: "who is he?" *smiles*

me: "he....what?"

mum: "the one you're texting all the time"

me: "oh! no, i'm just playing sudoku on my phone"

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mum: "who is he?" *smiles*

me: "he....what?"

mum: "the one you're texting all the time"

me: "oh! no, i'm just playing sudoku on my phone"

I get that a lot too! Or if I'm talking with someone online people will assume I'm talking to a secret boyfriend, when usually I'm just talking to a friend who goes to school far away.
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theboringalien

mum: "who is he?" *smiles*

me: "he....what?"

mum: "the one you're texting all the time"

me: "oh! no, i'm just playing sudoku on my phone"

I get that a lot too! Or if I'm talking with someone online people will assume I'm talking to a secret boyfriend, when usually I'm just talking to a friend who goes to school far away.

I've got that thing about a friend too :)

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Phantasmal Fingers

"Do you have another half?"

Nope

"??"

If I had another half I'd be one and a half people. I'd just get in my own way all the time.

:wacko:

I'm not half a person, right? I don't need another half - I'm already a whole person!

:blink:

Whatever... See ya later!

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I had a coworker try to ask me out recently and it went like this:

"Hey, want to go to a skrillex concert with me?"

"Nah. I hate raves, clubbing, and concerts in general."

He started avoiding me like the plague after that and I never understood why. I only realized that he had been trying to ask me out a week later. What I find hilarious now is that I rejected him without even realizing it- like anyone tries to start something with me and I just say "nope" unconsciously.

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I had a coworker try to ask me out recently and it went like this:

"Hey, want to go to a skrillex concert with me?"

"Nah. I hate raves, clubbing, and concerts in general."

He started avoiding me like the plague after that and I never understood why. I only realized that he had been trying to ask me out a week later. What I find hilarious now is that I rejected him without even realizing it- like anyone tries to start something with me and I just say "nope" unconsciously.

Also, why do people take "I don't like that particular activity" as a rejection of them personally? Back before I identified as aromantic, a girl asked me to a school dance. I didn't want to go to the school dance (I get sensory overloaded really easily). But, if they asked me to do anything else, I probably would have said yes.

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I had a coworker try to ask me out recently and it went like this:

"Hey, want to go to a skrillex concert with me?"

"Nah. I hate raves, clubbing, and concerts in general."

He started avoiding me like the plague after that and I never understood why. I only realized that he had been trying to ask me out a week later. What I find hilarious now is that I rejected him without even realizing it- like anyone tries to start something with me and I just say "nope" unconsciously.

Also, why do people take "I don't like that particular activity" as a rejection of them personally? Back before I identified as aromantic, a girl asked me to a school dance. I didn't want to go to the school dance (I get sensory overloaded really easily). But, if they asked me to do anything else, I probably would have said yes.

I get what you're saying, and I also agree that it's kind of silly.

There are a lot of people though who will reject someone by telling them they don't want to go to whatever specific event they are being asked to instead of just being blunt and saying they're not interested. They think it will let the person down easy or whatever, but it seems to just confuse the person more. I've seen a lot of girls do this to guys, so I wouldn't be surprised if after a few times of that happening, boys will learn to assume rejection in that situation.

I was always told if I wanted to go out with someone but couldn't make the specific event they asked me to, I should suggest an alternate time or activity to let them know I'm still interested for exactly that reason.

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theboringalien

My friend telling me about "super cute" romantic moments she had with her boyfriend and me like "wtf is going on? what language is she speaking? she's insane. i want to go home"

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I had a coworker try to ask me out recently and it went like this:

"Hey, want to go to a skrillex concert with me?"

"Nah. I hate raves, clubbing, and concerts in general."

He started avoiding me like the plague after that and I never understood why. I only realized that he had been trying to ask me out a week later. What I find hilarious now is that I rejected him without even realizing it- like anyone tries to start something with me and I just say "nope" unconsciously.

Also, why do people take "I don't like that particular activity" as a rejection of them personally? Back before I identified as aromantic, a girl asked me to a school dance. I didn't want to go to the school dance (I get sensory overloaded really easily). But, if they asked me to do anything else, I probably would have said yes.

I get what you're saying, and I also agree that it's kind of silly.

There are a lot of people though who will reject someone by telling them they don't want to go to whatever specific event they are being asked to instead of just being blunt and saying they're not interested. They think it will let the person down easy or whatever, but it seems to just confuse the person more. I've seen a lot of girls do this to guys, so I wouldn't be surprised if after a few times of that happening, boys will learn to assume rejection in that situation.

I was always told if I wanted to go out with someone but couldn't make the specific event they asked me to, I should suggest an alternate time or activity to let them know I'm still interested for exactly that reason.

I guess that makes sense. But, it was a girl asking me, but, I suppose if it is a strategy that most girls use, I suppose their minds would go to that first too.

If I were actually interested, I probably would have suggested something else. But, I wasn't really interested in dating either, so I didn't really feel like putting forth the effort.

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Oh this is a normal one for me (bear in mind my boss is my grandad & my grandma occ. comes in to help too)

My grandad is talking about how he is looking to be retired in a few years and have someone take over, preferably to keep the company in the family, with pointed looks at me. My grandma chimes in "That's not fair, in 5 years time she could finally want to settle down and have a family."

This is a common conversation both in the office and over the sunday roast. I don't want to still be working here in 5 years time and I don't want to have a family and kids in 5 years time either.... but they only just scrape past not being homophobic, wouldn't accept bisexuality if they're favourite grandchild jumped up and told them about it in the middle of Christmas dinner so asexuality has not been broached... bar the countless times I've told them that I'm not interested in relationships or having children ('Just a phase', 'you'll change your mind with the right guy'- If I had a pound for every time they say that.... I'd be able to retire v. young to New Zealand by now ;D)

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FOXracingfan

Guy friend: I'm vising home for the weekend : )

Me: That's cool!

Guy friend: Yep, do you have any weekend plans? : )

Me: Nope, you?

Guy friend: Well.. I just have to find someone to hang out with and something to do : )

Me: Good luck with that.

Guy friend: Thanks

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I made the mistake of mentioning I was going out this weekend and everyone assumed I meant on a date. :angry:

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I've said I was going out in the evening, and the first assumption was I had a date, but, I was just going out with a group of friends to hang out. I am not sure if this is an aro moment, or just a difference of slang... Does the phrase 'going out' have different connotations in Dutch or British slang? (One of my parents has a Dutch and British background, and I have picked up some British and Dutch speaking patterns)

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I was sitting up in my room, doing a few things when I overheard the following:

Worker #1 (talking to another worker): So you love your girl? (The others erupt in laughter; I can't remember the exact line but this is similar).

Me: *lets out a huge sigh*

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Zash:

yes, in british slang "going out" generally means going on a date, but it can also mean going to a club/party ect.

but if two people are "going out" it means that they are in a relationship. (it gets very confusing)

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