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Incredible Aromantic Moments (other romantic orientations invited)


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On 7/27/2022 at 10:38 PM, Zash said:

February 15th is when all the chocolate is on special

Yeah, it's great, and you get all the ones with strawberries, or rose petals

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I’m not sure about this moment, but here we go.

 

Friend: I’m Asexual!

Me: Wtf does that mean?

Me: *Watches JadienAnimations coming out vid*
Me: Wait, so I’m Aromantic and Asexual.

Me: *Has mommy issues*
Friend: 
So your aro-ace?

Me: Yes, now tall woman be my mother.

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AstrophelDragon
On 8/3/2022 at 1:21 AM, Wispz said:

Watches JadienAnimations coming out vid

I love that video. It is one of the best explanations I have found

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  • 2 weeks later...

Just the title makes me... "Beuuh... Love ? For girls ? Probably not interessant"

 

(Talking about the last message of page 50)

Edited by Atypique
Forgot to quote the message
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On 8/6/2022 at 5:47 PM, AstrophelDragon said:

I love that video. It is one of the best explanations I have found

And now I will add it to my to watch list

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JustAnotherNerd
On 8/2/2022 at 10:21 PM, Wispz said:

Watches JadienAnimations coming out vid

I love that video! It helped me figure out my orientation, too 😄

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  • 2 weeks later...

I have four that come to mind.

Incident the First - When I was in pre-school, I didn't know the difference between friendship and romance, so I kept saying I had a boyfriend. I meant a friend who is a boy...nobody seemed to understand.

Incident Number Second - In Kindergarten, I still hadn't picked up on the difference, so I kept telling my best friend that I'd marry them if I had to marry someone. 

Incident Three - In middle school, this one kid got his friend to ask me to the dance (for him), and instead of responding like any other kid, I walked right past this friend and up to the guy, and asked why, because I barely knew him. 

Incident Number Four - At a sleepover with two friends, we watched some generic romance movie, but I didn't pick up that it was supposed to be romantic until halfway through and they told me. I forget what movie.

 

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A shower thought again. (Well, riding-a-bike-home thought but it's similar.)

I suppose that during times when (and in areas where) a marriage is pretty much required to keep yourself financially stable, most successful marriages weren't* always those of romantic nature. I could also imagine that there was also plenty of marriages like "this person is cool and decent, I could marry them because they would make a great ally for running a household". This occurred to me when I was thinking of male friends in my life and thinking that who would I heterosexually marry if I absolutely had to for economical and whatever reasons. Figured out it would be that one super considerate friend who is great at co-operation. In this kind of system, asexual and aromantics pretty much stayed hidden, because romance or attraction wasn't crucial for successful marriage, so it never really came up. 
* Present tense for places where this is currently a norm.

 

Naturally, bad non-romantic (and romantic) marriages happened too. There could have been arranged marriages where a spouse (often a bride) was just a traded item between families, or things just turned plain sour in marriages. Moreover, in cultures where divorce was unheard of, unhappy marriages were also virtually impossible to escape.

 

"Sensible marriages" were probably also a pain to alloromantics and allosexuals, especially in times and places where people married as teenagers and hormones rushed HARD. No personal experience but I just figure so. Why should you marry whatever your parents bring to you when you are head over heels with that one person? Especially if that other person doesn't click at all.

These two sides combined, I kinda feel that when there became the "marry for love" liberation, it was partially to address freedom of choice and to avoid unhappy marriages. But because "this is my true love" is a more loud thing that "this is an ideal co-operation partner for establishing a family", this kinda caused aromantic erasure, because romantic love was seen as an indicator of upcoming happy marriage. Sooooo... aromantics were from "running family matters fine with a bestie spouse" to "deviants who can't establish an economically needed social construct called family"?

Not an expert in these matters, but this is just a shower thought.

(sips water)

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Me: I have to do a project with [male friend]. Can he come to my house?

My sister: Is he cute??

Me: ….. *laughs in aromantic*

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On 12/9/2021 at 4:47 AM, Mult said:

That awkward moment when someone texts "I love you" and you have to figure out if they mean to say it in a romantic way or a platonic way

Hahaha

Also, that moment when you text “I love you” and then realize the person probably read it as romantic love. 

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I remember writing in my diary before I realised I was aro that I wished I had come from a culture with arranged marriages because I thought I had to get married and I didn't want the pressure to actually be romantically attracted to my partner lol.

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hewhomainsness

read this on some older paperwork lol:

 

"After graduation, ███████ anticipates that he will get married."

 

my plans have changed a bit since then, i'd say

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  • 3 weeks later...

I like to call this my thankful to be aroace moment.

so to give context I teach high schoolers, and I must have a sign on my forehead that says ask dating advice here. So I was walking around and a student stopped me.

 

student: Ms. See, I saw my boyfriend kissing another girl, like just a quick kiss.

me: thinking “how long have they been together again, is this normal”? 
me: so what did you do.

student: I told him to leave me alone, and not to talk to me.

me: good job, so what can I do

student: do you think I should forgive him and get back together.

me:  thinking, “ that don’t make sense, if you are mad at someone, they need to apologize before you decide to be together.”

student: Well Ms. See what should I do?
me: just wait until he apologizes, and if he don’t just move on.

student: shocked expression.

this is when I realized that I really don’t understand relationships.

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Most aro moment: much like in the novel Loveless, I was trying to make “romance” plans happen at the beginning of university, because I figured everyone’s gotta find their partner eventually and I was overdue for a date, according to standards I didn’t understand. There was a boy who I hung out with a lot after class, and he was clearly head over heels for me, and I thought, great, easy, I’m done, I did it. I gotta make my move and ask him out. So one day, after working up all my courage, I decided to go and ask him for a formal date to the movies.

 

I marched up to him (after practicing my speech like it was homework for days) and my nerves got to me. So instead of saying “let’s go on a date to see a movie,” what came out was “so, um, I was wondering… I thought maybe we could… Well, since we know each other so well…”

 

And he said, “oh my god— are you asking me to move in with you?” with great joy.

 

It turns out he considered all those times we  were hanging out after classes as dates. I had no idea. Friends, I’m dumb as heck now as an adult, but I was even dumber then as a teen, so I just sputtered out “yes” because I thought this was how romance happens. And that’s how I ended up living with my university boyfriend, a guy I had zero feelings for. Don’t be like me. 

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I mean I guess he assumed we were already dating since we were frequently together, and it’s true that I was trying to be “romantic.” But it’s also true that we were both idiots at the time, and he shouldn’t have assumed. He assumed many things in our time together in his quest for love but eventually I realized I’m ace, so we split since it wasn’t fulfilling for either of us.

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  • 5 weeks later...

I've had people express they thought I was gay because I don't have a boyfriend. But... do you see a girlfriend anywhere? NO? Ok then. 🤨

 

I've been asked "why" I'm still single. And normally, responding with a simple "I'm cool being single" leads to another "why?" or, "Aw, that's so sad!" Now I Iike to ask "why the interest?" in response instead because, honestly, why the interest? Who cares??

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14 hours ago, AroAce Wolf said:

I've had people express they thought I was gay because I don't have a boyfriend. But... do you see a girlfriend anywhere? NO? Ok then. 🤨

 

I've been asked "why" I'm still single. And normally, responding with a simple "I'm cool being single" leads to another "why?" or, "Aw, that's so sad!" Now I Iike to ask "why the interest?" in response instead because, honestly, why the interest? Who cares??

Aw man, you've just described my life too. *Sigh 

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My mum had dreams about me getting myself a boyfriend recently... Hopefully that'll stay dreams.

 

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  • 1 month later...
fantastic mx. foxglove

After a DnD session a few weeks ago, I go a text from one of my friends asking, "Um.... Does Friend 2 know that you're aro ace?" Our friend apparently crushes easily and had recently gone through a bad breakup and he didn't want them getting their heart broken again.

Me: "I think so. I haven't exactly been hiding it."

Friend 1: "Well...."

So he sends me a screenshot of a conversation he had with our other friend that basically went like:

Friend 1: "So you were you flirting with [My Character's Name]"

Friend 2: "Um....no?"

Friend 1: "So you like [Me], I take it?"

Friend 2: "Where's this coming from?"

Friend 1: "So you DO like [Me]! Gotchya"

Friend 2: "I do not"

My friend then proceeded to tell Friend 2 that I'm aro/ace and thus wouldn't be able to reciprocate.

 

Then literally A HALF HOUR LATER, I got a message from Friend 2 saying, "Hey, for some reason Friend 1 thinks [Their Character Name] was flirting with [My Character Name] XD"

Me: (sweating profusely) "Haha, crazy, right?"

Friend 2: "I don't, but our friend is sure being weird"

Me: "Weird right! Our friend sure is being weird!"

 

So they sent me a screenshot of the exact same conversation and I sat  there, getting messages from both of them, thinking, "Man, this is a situation I never thought I would get to be in >.>"

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  • 2 weeks later...
rainbowocollie

Today at a Christmas party watching a guy flirt with one of my friends. (I didn't realize he was flirting until he actually asked her on a date.) Mostly my reaction was "glad that's not me"

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A friend of mine, who is like a sister to me, and incidentaly the only person I've come out as asexual to, is getting married later next year.

 

And since the moment she told me, a thought has been lingering in the back of mind, echoing louder each time, with ever increasing dread.

 

Because I know that when the day comes...

 

someone...

 

will inevitably...

 

...ask me to dance.

 

 

I don't wanna go... 😶

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8 hours ago, Osiyo_Waya said:

someone...

 

will inevitably...

 

...ask me to dance.

You can dress up as the aro flag, and then everyone who comes to you will be like :

 

- what's that ? 

 

- Oh, I don't feel romantic attraction

 

- oh, nevermind.

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20 hours ago, Osiyo_Waya said:

A friend of mine, who is like a sister to me, and incidentaly the only person I've come out as asexual to, is getting married later next year.

 

And since the moment she told me, a thought has been lingering in the back of mind, echoing louder each time, with ever increasing dread.

 

Because I know that when the day comes...

 

someone...

 

will inevitably...

 

...ask me to dance.

 

 

I don't wanna go... 😶

Can you not tell them no? Is that considered too rude where you are? Plenty of people don't like dancing so you could offer that as a reason if you don't want to out yourself.

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1 hour ago, Lilika said:

Can you not tell them no? Is that considered too rude where you are? Plenty of people don't like dancing so you could offer that as a reason if you don't want to out yourself.

 

Well, previous experience has made me wary of that...

 

About five years ago I was a groomsman at another wedding. At the reception I spent most of the night sitting at a table, either in occassional conversation or just quietly observing everyone else. It was a beautiful wedding and for the most part I had a great time. But as the night went on, I started getting hounded about why I wasn't on the dance floor. I had repeatedly stated that I don't like to dance, but it persisted. It felt like every few minutes someone was bugging me about it. I distinctly remember the girl working at the bar asking if I wanted to dance and I gruffly said "NO!" and just walked away without my drink.

 

I won't say the experience ruined the night, but it certainly left a poor impression.

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