Incredible Aromantic Moments (other romantic orientations invited)

[Crabby Nebula]

I guess this isn't exactly a moment, but once, back before I really knew I was aro, I bought myself a simple bracelet. My boyfriend at the time gave me a very similar bracelet from the same store for valentines day. After I ended the relationship because I realized I was aromantic, I threw away the bracelet he had given me, but kept the similar one I had bought for myself as a reminder of my aro pride.

[nerdperson777]

4 hours ago, babygyrl09 said:

But apparently, romantic attraction/being in a relationship is different than just friends but with kissing and sex, I guess.

Well, romantic attraction would usually just be the kissing, and being in a relationship would be kissing and/or sex.  Some people just want the kissing, some the sex, both, or neither.  Like queerplatonic ones could be sexual, or not, just no romance.

[Falcon7]

Sorry for a super simple (and aromantic) question, but what is 'dating out'?

The other day I overheard someone talking like 'So he asked me for dating out and we had lunch...'

For me that's 'hanging out'. Lunch, coffee, park, museum wherever, and regardless of gender. 

[nerdperson777]

Coach says "Happy Love Day" in class.  She knows I'm aro so I think I should've said "ew....love."

[Yep, me]

14 hours ago, nerdperson777 said:

Coach says "Happy Love Day" in class.  She knows I'm aro so I think I should've said "ew....love."

Love can also be platonic.

[nerdperson777]

1 hour ago, Zenzencat104 said:

Love can also be platonic.

I know.  I just wanted to joke but then I didn't say anything.

[babygyrl09]

On 2/16/2018 at 12:06 AM, nerdperson777 said:

Coach says "Happy Love Day" in class.  She knows I'm aro so I think I should've said "ew....love."

My mom texted me happy Valentine's day on the day. I texted back "I love you too."

[babygyrl09]

I was talking about hanging out with friends, and a couple happen to be male, so my dad asks, "is that the boy you've got your eye on?" No, dad, as i've explained before, there's no one I've got my eye on. And besides, I don't even like people like that.

[Mx. Who]

I'm not aromantic, but I thought this was funny.

All my other friends: Oh he's hot. Who what about him? Ooh, he cute!

Me: What are you doing?

All my other friends: Finding hot guys.

Me: *confused* Where?

 

[Ms. Carolynne]

On 1/31/2018 at 10:14 AM, babygyrl09 said:

But apparently, romantic attraction/being in a relationship is different than just friends but with kissing and sex, I guess.

I'm not completely aro, but since romantic attraction is rare for me and I don't date, I suppose I'll bite 

 

Okay, so recently-ish at work, this girl I worked with just out of the blue asks me if I have a girlfriend; I get nervous and fail to remain calm, so I say no, but really awkwardly. She then asks if I want a girlfriend, awkwardness intensifies. Again I say no sheepishly. She asks why not, you know what I do? I just bolt, and she calls out to me "What? I was asking a serious question". 

 

At that point I had just went back to work. Another co-worker saw the whole thing and commented how awkward I was, because if anything defuses an awkward situation, it's duly noting how awkward it was 

 

Why I was so awkward? Well, it's threefold. Firstly, I've turned down my share of girls. Secondly, I've had a lot of people grill me on my sexuality, usually thinking I'm gay, or having girl problems. Thirdly, I've had people try to set me up with a random friend, or attempt coaching me on picking up woman.

 

None of those were avenues I wanted to go down for the hundredth time, and in my mind they were all very likely; so mentally I wanted out the conversation quickly, like being in the middle of a Bethesda RPG style conversation tree and ending it prematurely or slamming through the responses, I just wanted get on with what I was doing 

 

@babygyrl09 As a gray who is pretty close to ace who feels significant romantic attraction on rare occasion it isn't anything sexual; maybe for allosexuals, but not for me anyway.

 

I would describe romantic attraction as an emotional attachment of sorts, and a desire for emotional and intellectual intimacy for me. It causes me to think and behave differently about and around a person. It also seems to hijack my mind for a bit; when I end up developing romantic feelings for a person, there's a phase where I'm a bit obsessed at first.

 

A romantic relationship for me means to have a partner to share my life with, as well as my deepest thoughts and feelings on a level much further than what I would consider platonic.

 

That's the best I can describe the idea. I realize you don't experience it, and I understand the color blind analogy. It's hard to quantify subjective experiences, especially towards those who've never had them.

 

If it makes you feel better, I don't get primary romantic attraction.

 

Also, I realize I just played both sides here. Perks of being a demiromantic I guess, I get to have my cake and eat it. That's every ace's dream, right?

 

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Sorry about odd formatting, also I can't remove this, so I'll use it as a footer.

 

PS Does this site offer an alternative editor? I can't stand WYSIWYG editors, I can never edit to the degree I need to. On my phone I can't even move the quote boxes or add anything before it  I'd rather work with bbcodes and just text if that's an option.

[babygyrl09]

@G1P0 thanks for trying to explain. I mean, i still don't understand fully, but this utter disconnect is why I feel comfortable with identifying as aro. 

[Mx. Who]

Has this happened to anybody else?

Other girl: I know who you have a crush on.

Me: I have a crush? This is news to me. Who do I theoretically have a crush on?

Other girl: The guy in the hat.

Me: Erick?

Other girl: Erick.

Me: Erick, as in the guy in the hat?

Other girl: Yes.

Me: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?????

[Mx. Who]

I'm mistaken as having a crush on lots of boys because:

1) I'm extremely comfortable around them.

2) I'm interact with them a lot.

3) I use them as pillows. (What? They make really good pillows.)

4) People are ignorant.

5) People don't realize that I need physical contact with them to ground me.

6) They're really fun to mess with.

 

This annoys me so much. Is it so strange just to be close friends with a lot of boys? Grow up people, honestly.

 

(@nerdperson777 What's technosexual?)

[nerdperson777]

2 hours ago, imahappynothing said:

I'm mistaken as having a crush on lots of boys because:

1) I'm extremely comfortable around them.

2) I'm interact with them a lot.

3) I use them as pillows. (What? They make really good pillows.)

4) People are ignorant.

5) People don't realize that I need physical contact with them to ground me.

6) They're really fun to mess with.

 

This annoys me so much. Is it so strange just to be close friends with a lot of boys? Grow up people, honestly.

 

(@nerdperson777 What's technosexual?)

In middle school, I've daydreamed and accidentally there was a guy at the end of my sight so my mom tried to make me admit that I had a crush on him.

 

It's a bit more of jokingly with me about the technosexual.  Once I wrote a status on here saying, "Is it considered sexual attraction if every time I see a computer, I want to open it up and see what's inside?"  Then someone linked technosexual as a reply.  It can either mean actual sexual attraction to electronic parts or a real big fanatic.  I guess for me it's kind of in the middle.  I do feel really good when I see a(n attractive) component, but I don't think I'd have sex with it.  I like to build computers is all.

[squaggly]

 not realizing that parents aren't virgins until suddenly you just... realize. Then it haunts you  and you wonder what else is obviously true that you haven't realized yet.

[Yep, me]

3 minutes ago, squaggly said:

 not realizing that parents aren't virgins until suddenly you just... realize. Then it haunts you  and you wonder what else is obviously true that you haven't realized yet.

Jello is made largely from bone. Anything else?

[squaggly]

1 minute ago, Zenzencat104 said:

Jello is made largely from bone. Anything else?

Whatt!!?!??!? MY LIFE IS CHANGED FOREVER!!!!!!

[squaggly]

On ‎13‎.‎12‎.‎2017 at 12:55 AM, Hermit Advocate said:

I find this to be a very valid question. I feel like boredom plays a lot more into dating than people want to admit, but I could be wrong. Romantics, answer this for us. 

The one person I've ever been with was no boredom involved. I just wanted to because she was a great friend and I thought dating would be a transfer between friends and best friends. I was wrong though ☹ 

[NotGojoSatoru]

49 minutes ago, squaggly said:

 not realizing that parents aren't virgins until suddenly you just... realize. Then it haunts you  and you wonder what else is obviously true that you haven't realized yet.

I am still in denial about this... I am sure that the stork brought me home.

[arobydesign]

I think my most aromatic moment was when I ended up spending the night with someone who was a friend. For me, that was an expression of friendship and trust, and I was really happy because the friendship became deeper, but for him it was this massive deal and a huge romantic thing because apparently he'd fancied me the entire time we'd been friends, and in his mind that meant we were in a romantic relationship. It's funny in hindsight but was a bit painful at the time.

[Beaver Boy]

Me, seeing a couple hugging / resting head on shoulder / cuddling / holding hands: Aww, how sweet. That looks so idyllic

Me, seeing them start kissing: EEEWWWW!!! (to myself, of course. I try not to grimace about it in public)

[Mx. Who]

13 minutes ago, Beaver Boy said:

Me, seeing a couple hugging / resting head on shoulder / cuddling / holding hands: Aww, how sweet. That looks so idyllic

Me, seeing them start kissing: EEEWWWW!!! (to myself, of course. I try not to grimace about it in public)

Same. Unless it's a chaste kiss. Then it's still sweet. But seeing people make out is gross.

[Beaver Boy]

Just now, imahappynothing said:

Same. Unless it's a chaste kiss. Then it's still sweet. But seeing people make out is gross.

I've never even really kissed anyone at all, but going by how I think I would feel, I'd rather get punched in the face than french kiss. Unless if it would lead to broken bone(s)

[Mx. Who]

Just now, Beaver Boy said:

I've never even really kissed anyone at all, but going by how I think I would feel, I'd rather get punched in the face than french kiss. Unless if it would lead to broken bone(s)

I've never kissed anyone either. And what's French kissing? Because up until 8th grade (I'm in 9th), I was 100% innocent.

[Beaver Boy]

1 minute ago, imahappynothing said:

I've never kissed anyone either. And what's French kissing? Because up until 8th grade (I'm in 9th), I was 100% innocent.

It's like regular kissing, but worse. You stick your tongue in the other person's mouth, and they stick their tongue in your mouth. If done in a goofy way, I think I might be able to enjoy it, but everyone acts like it is just so great (if it is with the "right person")

[Mx. Who]

2 minutes ago, Beaver Boy said:

It's like regular kissing, but worse. You stick your tongue in the other person's mouth, and they stick their tongue in your mouth. If done in a goofy way, I think I might be able to enjoy it, but everyone acts like it is just so great (if it is with the "right person")

WHAT WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO DO THAT THAT'S DISGUSTING WHHHHHHYYYYYYY

[Beaver Boy]

3 minutes ago, imahappynothing said:

WHAT WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO DO THAT THAT'S DISGUSTING WHHHHHHYYYYYYY

And the way it sounds is really disgusting too. I heard one comedian describe it is "sounding like stirring macaroni and cheese"

 

I seriously wonder why people like this. Because I've heard lots of straight people complain about PDA / making out in public. I don't like seeing it because it's just ew, but do they think the same thing, and then go on to like it if they're involved? (I think that is the reason why). Or are they just jealous they aren't involved in something they would love? Or do they really not like kissing anyways, but they act like they do because society tells them to like it?

[Falcon7]

On 01/03/2018 at 3:28 AM, squaggly said:

 not realizing that parents aren't virgins until suddenly you just... realize. Then it haunts you  and you wonder what else is obviously true that you haven't realized yet.

Ouch! Don't remind me a harsh reality...

[Falcon7]

On 01/03/2018 at 4:19 AM, TheAmazingImperialEmperor said:

I am still in denial about this... I am sure that the stork brought me home.

Agree!! Well said!

[babygyrl09]

On 3/1/2018 at 2:17 PM, Beaver Boy said:

Me, seeing a couple hugging / resting head on shoulder / cuddling / holding hands: Aww, how sweet. That looks so idyllic

Me, seeing them start kissing: EEEWWWW!!! (to myself, of course. I try not to grimace about it in public)

 I live with 2 couples (my parents and my sister and her husband). We have rules. The rule is, nothing more than of rated in front of "the kid", that is, me. So hugs and short pecks are fine, but making out or groping is when I loudly say ew, and leave the room.