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Incredible Aromantic Moments (other romantic orientations invited)


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Actually being ok with sex in a relationship (think I’m somewhere in the gray- I don’t feel particular strong attraction much or to many people, but I’m not sex-adverse and have a libido and enjoy sex) as well as affection, but still getting the feeling like someone would want more out a relationship than I would be able to give. I don’t really see a difference in my ideal world between a close, platonic friend and a life partner other than that a life partner would be naturally more involved in my life and we would co-habitate, and that there might be sex involved. But I know for a lot of allos, there is a much greater difference between the two, this inexplicable romantic connection. 

 

I’d rather just skip the whole dating, courting, gooey phase right into an old married couple :D. I hate dating. I think I seem to like more the idea of a relationship than actually trying to form one with someone. 

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nerdperson777

I was listening to a song and I thought the lyrics were "love is just a sensation".  It was actually "love ISN'T just a sensation".  Oops.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Celyn: The Lutening
On 10/5/2019 at 7:21 AM, nerdperson777 said:

I was listening to a song and I thought the lyrics were "love is just a sensation".  It was actually "love ISN'T just a sensation".  Oops.

What else is it then?

 

I saw a woman with an "I ❤ LONDON" shirt on but she had a hoodie on over it so all that showed was "❤ DON" and my brain filled it in as "❤ DON'T".

Solid advice. I want a shirt that says "❤: DON'T."

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nerdperson777
10 hours ago, SCelyton said:

What else is it then?

 

I saw a woman with an "I ❤ LONDON" shirt on but she had a hoodie on over it so all that showed was "❤ DON" and my brain filled it in as "❤ DON'T".

Solid advice. I want a shirt that says "❤: DON'T."

The first thing that came to mind with "DON" was some Japanese rice bowl, so someone really likes that dish.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Okay, I'll share some:

 

In my childhood, I tried to play Barbie dolls with my friend. I didn't play dolls at all, but I enjoyed playing with her. And there was that moment, when we played a scene, where were two barbie-girls and one ken between. And my friend decided to play a love fight over Ken... But I didn't get it. 

 

F: Ah! *pitched voice for her doll character* He is mine!

Me: Um...No, he is mine?

F: NOOO, HE IS MINE!

Me: Well, okay, take him then?.. 

 

Her face was just priceless... XD

 

__________

F: Tell me please, am I an attractive man? 

Me: *silence* I don't think you should ask me for that?...

F: No, answer me, please.

Me:Um... Well, I'm sure you are attractive to another girls, why you doubt it?

F: No, what do YOU think?

Me: ...Well, you know, it's not a good idea to base your self-esteem on someone else's opinion. (long phylosophical lecture)

You're a clever person and know about it all, why do you even ask me such questions?...

 

(I was very confused, because I didn't want to offend him and understood, that I don't understand, what does "attractive" means, and never found anyone attractive, but in theory I understood, that he might be attractive by social standarts, so I decided to give him an inspiring lecture about independent self-esteem... XD

Gosh, I didn't even had a clue, that he tried to actually pick me up...Realised that only through some unpleasant circumstances.)

 

Edited by Asenia
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maybeimamazed

I'm writing a book in which the main character (who's aroace) is struggling because she can't differentiate what she feels for her boyfriend and her best friend.

 

My creative writing group was like "Oooh, it's a coming out story, right? She's gonna realize she's gay or bisexual!"

 

And I was like............. sure.

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On 11/12/2019 at 2:05 PM, Asenia said:

F: Tell me please, am I an attractive man? 

Me: *silence* I don't think you should ask me for that?...

F: No, answer me, please.

Me:Um... Well, I'm sure you are attractive to another girls, why you doubt it?

F: No, what do YOU think?

Me: ...Well, you know, it's not a good idea to base your self-esteem on someone else's opinion. (long phylosophical lecture)

You're a clever person and know about it all, why do you even ask me such questions?...

 

I have a feeling he was attracted to you, and he was feeling you out to see if you were interested before committing to asking you out.

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nerdperson777
On 11/12/2019 at 11:23 AM, maybeimamazed said:

I'm writing a book in which the main character (who's aroace) is struggling because she can't differentiate what she feels for her boyfriend and her best friend.

 

My creative writing group was like "Oooh, it's a coming out story, right? She's gonna realize she's gay or bisexual!"

 

And I was like............. sure.

My first thought is about being quoromantic.

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  • 4 months later...
cherryxcardium
On 10/6/2015 at 11:24 PM, cherryxcardium said:

"You and Rob should just get together. You practically are a couple."

Nah fam. I mean I love him, but not romantically and I can never see him that way at all.

Revisiting this because Rob has since come out as gay and thus is of an incompatible sexuality. This whole thing makes us both crease up with laughter whenever we think about it.

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deletingthisaccount

Friend: "Who do you 'like'?"

Me: "No one."

Friend: "What?! You can't just like no one!"

Me: "I don't."

Friend: "You have to like someone! Everyone has to like someone!"
Me: "Why?!"

Friend: "That's just how it works!"

Me: "Well, I don't like anyone."

Friend: "I promise I won't tell."

Me: "I DON'T LIKE ANYONE"

Friend: "Well, at least who did you used to have a crush on?"

Me: "NO ONE."

 

*repeat conversation for my entire life*

 

 

 

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3 hours ago, Ace_of_Spades07 said:

Friend: "Who do you 'like'?"

Me: "No one."

Friend: "What?! You can't just like no one!"

Me: "I don't."

Friend: "You have to like someone! Everyone has to like someone!"
Me: "Why?!"

Friend: "That's just how it works!"

Me: "Well, I don't like anyone."

Friend: "I promise I won't tell."

Me: "I DON'T LIKE ANYONE"

Friend: "Well, at least who did you used to have a crush on?"

Me: "NO ONE."

 

*repeat conversation for my entire life*

I feel you, that was me when I was in high school.

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So this was before I figured out the whole being aromantic thing. I was sort of dating a guy I thought I liked, he definitely liked me a lot and wanted to see me more often. He suggested meeting at least once a week around my shifts and every possible weekend (I work half of the weekends). I was getting claustrophobic just thinking about having to spend so much time with him and said "well, just the weekend is fine when I'm not working, and if we skip a weekend it's also fine". It was not fine. Apparently you're supposed to want to spend every waking moment together when you're in love? Looking back my aromanticism is soooo obvious 🤦‍♀️.

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Brother: So when are you going to get a boyfriend?

Me, without thinking: ew

Brother: Oh... a girlfriend?

Me, realising I've backed myself into a corner: ew

My brother:

Spoiler

1f7baaf1f21a6b20a959220dc44f17f3.jpg

I just sat there and watched his visible confusion

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deletingthisaccount
On 3/30/2020 at 12:52 AM, Eva River said:

Brother: So when are you going to get a boyfriend?

Me, without thinking: ew

Brother: Oh... a girlfriend?

Me, realising I've backed myself into a corner: ew

My brother:

  Reveal hidden contents

1f7baaf1f21a6b20a959220dc44f17f3.jpg

I just sat there and watched his visible confusion

LOL I have definitely had to deal with this. After you reach a certain age, expressing any disinterest in the opposite gender makes people automatically assume you're interested in the same gender. I've learned to try to word things like that very carefully. I always make sure whenever anyone asks that I say I've never been in a relationship.

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  • 1 year later...

Revive!

Aesthetically attracted to a semi-new co-worker/security guard cause his long hair. I wouldn't really see him much, and now it's pretty much in passing (our shifts only overlap an hour and we're short staffed, so I'm not positioned near him anymore). He was near my area Tuesday reviewing video footage and he said along the lines of "Sorry for ignoring you the other day, sometimes I zone out and don't mean too. It's been bugging me since." I thought it an odd remark. Latter that night I asked a guard what she thinks of him. She,
of course, thinking I like him went "Omg you can feel it. He's liked you for months."

I honestly was not expecting that, but I told her it takes me a long time to 'like' someone, so I just want to get to know him more. Ah, obliviousness at it's finest.

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  • 1 month later...

Was talking to some friends I wasn't out to at the time, it was about something light-hearted like interior decorating (I think?) and went something like this.

 

Me: I have no sense of design and I'll probably live alone my whole life, so my house won't be very stylish.

Friend (concerned, thinking I meant that in a self-deprecating way): Aw, don't say that! Why do you think you'll be alone your whole life? You'll find someone.

Me: Ah, well - uh...I just picture myself living alone...

 

___

It can be annoying that my vision for my future is different than a lot of people's visions for their futures. Sometimes I'm just expressing my general plans, dreams, and goals for the future, and other people think it's sad.

 

 

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  • 3 weeks later...
rainbowocollie

My boss: do you have a boyfriend?
Me: nope
My boss: do you have a girlfriend?
Me: nope

My boss: are you interested in getting one or the other?
Me: not really

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rainbowocollie

After today (getting asked out by one of my friends), I wonder if I'm closer to full on aromantic than I thought I was. Cuz, just the reality of being confronted by the prospect of a relationship, just made the things I enjoy reading in fiction become one step closer to reality.... and I felt a strong aversion to that. I don't want to do romance-coded things. I don't want to kiss, cuddle, or anything else romantic-y. If anything, I think I'd want a queerplatonic relationship, where we're close but not in a romantic way.
Almost makes me wonder if I'm lithromantic instead of demiromantic.

I do feel bad for my friend, but I had to be honest that I'm just not interested. Hope it doesn't ruin our friendship, cuz I like him as a friend.

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Coworker: *walks over* "So, how's the dating scene going for you? You doing online or what?"

 

Me: "I'm not dating. I'm happy being single."

 

Coworker: "Oh. I get it."

 

Me: "Ok, great..."

 

Coworker: "You have commitment issues."

 

Me: "No! I'm just fine being single."

 

Coworker: "Sounds like you're just scared, to me."

 

Me: "..."

 

Coworker: "Just try opening up your heart for once. You'll never find your match if you block everyone out! That's just not healthy!"

 

Me: "Like I said, I'm happy being single." *tries to get back to work*

 

Coworker: (With concerned look) "Have you considered seeing a therapist?"

 

Me: "????"

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

That Aro Ace moment, where you say, oh i'm not intrested in guys, and and you have to say your not intrested in girls either before you get misidentified.

 

 

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That awkward moment when someone texts "I love you" and you have to figure out if they mean to say it in a romantic way or a platonic way

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I was talking to my mum about my brother, who left for a surprise visit at his girlfriend's yesterday, when my stepfather walked in and said to me: One day you'll get a surprise visit, too!

Me (trying to hide my laugh): Wanna bet?

Stepfather: Of course... if you'll get a surprise visit by your romantic partner within the next ten years, you'll have to make cheeseburgers for me.

Me (still giggling): Right, and if I win, you'll have to make cheeseburgers for me.

 

We really just did this, and I bet we're both convinced to win.

He doesn't know I'm probably aroace... this is going to be fun.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Itsa me a person

This is actually both an aromantic moment and an asexual moment 

 

Me thinking I was bi because I felt the same amount of attraction to both girls and boys 

 

Then realizing I felt no attraction to boys and thinking I was gay until I realized I don't feel attraction to girls either or any gender for that matter 

 

So in short my brain went, "zero attraction to boys, zero attraction to girls, equals same amount of attraction so I must be bi"

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Janus the Fox
8 hours ago, Itsa me a person said:

So in short my brain went, "zero attraction to boys, zero attraction to girls, equals same amount of attraction so I must be bi"

My very first conclusion myself, though mine was complicated in having bi/pan features, I later identified Aro Ace around 8-10 years ago.

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When I was about four years old, I wanted to play "wedding" with my mum.

She asked me: "Would you like to marry this young, handsome gentleman?", and pointed to an imaginary guy.

My immediate response was: "No." I didn't even think about it.

 

Should've seen the signs.

 

 

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Itsa me a person

not a 100% sure if this is a aromantic moment but… 
 

All the times I imagined getting married but never being able to picture an actual person 

 

I was mostly in it for the pretty dress 

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6 minutes ago, Itsa me a person said:

All the times I imagined getting married but never being able to picture an actual person 

 

I was mostly in it for the pretty dress

I was only in it for the food... then I found out adults don't need to have a wedding as an excuse to eat their favorite foods 

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Itsa me a person
15 minutes ago, Sam Spade said:

I was only in it for the food

That is such a big mood 😂

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A lot of my floormates at uni are talking about who they like, their s/o, ect. and I'm just sitting there like

16749-hmm-jpg

"Sorry, can't relate." and thinking about something else.

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  • 2 weeks later...
queer_kaleidoscope

My cousin asked me if I had a boyfriend and I had to resist the urge to out myself as aroace by making some sort of dumb joke-

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