German comedy sketch (circa 1998~2000-ish)

[Angelnoir]

I've found this german comedy sketch about asexuality. It's from a segment from a comedic news show (which doesn't air anymore).

This specific segment aired from 1997-2001 and I'd place this one in 1998 or 1999 (could be wrong). So before any (major) talk about asexuality.

But since it's not really about what we call asexuality today, it's skewed. Nonetheless, I still found it interesting.

I'll translate it roughly. Fair to say, I don't understand the sketch's conclusion:

(starts at 1:50)

Afrodisiac, America, Panama, all words ending with an A. There are also words beginning with an A.

For example: Asexuality.

That's our segment's title today. Many will ask themselves: What is it? Asexuality?

I'm curious about it, too. I'll ask today's guest. Here he is, he is asexual.

Sit down or isn't that possible if you're asitxual?

-Of course, it's possible. This is no STD.

So you're asexual and you profess it. How does it play out for you?

-I don't have any sex, I'm asexual.

You don't have any sex?

-No.

But that isn't normal. I mean, you don't have it only with women?

-No, I also don't have any with men, either.

Really? And you never had any sex?

-I am asexual.

I don't understand. You don't want to or ....?

-No, it simply never entered the picture.

What? It never entered the picture? You're 38 and you're very handsome-looking and it never happened?

-Yeah, that's it.

What do you work as?

-I'm a callboy.

Now I'm totally confused. You're a callboy and you never had sex?

What do you do if a client calls you?

-I visit my client and I explain her everything.

What do you mean everything?

-That I don't have sex and stuff.

What do they respond?

-They aren't crazy about it but they still have to pay me for driving there.

But there are certainly some beautiful women at your job, wouldn't you be tempted?

-But I'm married.

I don't understand a thing. You're married with a women.

-Of course with a women. I'm not gay.

Why did you marry her if you don't sleep with her?

-Because I love her.

And you didn't have any sex?

-Infront of the kids?

You even have kids? Now, I don't understand anything at all.

-Yeah, I have four.

How did you make them?

-I didn't make them. They are adopted.

I'm giving up. But I still have one question: Why don't you have any sex?

-I'm swiss.

[eched]

I think the ending comment is a joke relating to the time and the country. Maybe people from Germany felt the Swiss were really up tight and there for never had sex. If you told the same joke today you would replace Swiss to I'm from Japan.

I found this very cute. It's not really wrong in anyway. The asexual in question is really only describing himself and not asexuality as a whole. Fine in my book, and yes, it was very funny. :)

[mausgrau]

Ah, thanks for that, that was a good laugh. And I think it’s very interesting to see Asexuality talked about like this, before “the turn of the century” – I had no idea!

I think it’s hilarious, being both Ace and Swiss myself. So I guess you could say it “speaks to me.” :lol: And yes, eched, you’re going in the right direction concerning the punchline. The Swiss kinda have a reputation for lacking humor and passion, and generally being fuddy-duddies. It’s also an apt punchline because the actor there actually is one of my compatriots. ;)

[Guest member25959]

Oh, he's Swiss, now it all makes sense

[marki]

Those swiss..probably he is one of the French speaking ones!! Lol

[mausgrau]

Nah, marki, he’s a semi-famous Swiss German actor/comedian by the name of Marco Rima. Though a German speaker would figure out his nationality even without knowing that, because he very noticeably changes his accent when he says “I’m Swiss.”

[Angelnoir]

Ah, thanks for that, that was a good laugh. And I think it’s very interesting to see Asexuality talked about like this, before “the turn of the century” – I had no idea!

I think it’s hilarious, being both Ace and Swiss myself. So I guess you could say it “speaks to me.” :lol: And yes, eched, you’re going in the right direction concerning the punchline. The Swiss kinda have a reputation for lacking humor and passion, and generally being fuddy-duddies. It’s also an apt punchline because the actor there actually is one of my compatriots. ;)

Exactly! That's why I posted it. This was in 1998 or something. So kind of early.

I'm not even sure the writers believed asexuality existed, maybe tendency-wise but it still is a nice sketch, since the joke is on the interviewer's reactions not the interviewee.

Of course, the punchline gives it away as being about making fun of swiss people but still.

It somehow encapsulates some (hypothetical or true) asexual experiences in a sweet way: Like being married because of love (without relation to sexual attraction) and adopting kids.

[Satin]

I'm both embarrassed and amused. :P But jokes aside, a couple things the supposed asexual mentioned were actually quite ahead of their time, if I may say so. Not bad.

[Asterion Orestes]

Reminds me of a joke about the difference between "heaven" & "hell"--or, if you prefer, the ideal place & its opposite. I'll call 'em Utopia & Dystopia. The first is where the chefs are French, the police are British, the engineers are German, the organizers are Swiss, & the lovers are Italian. Dystopia is where the chefs are British, the police are German, the engineers are French, the lovers are Swiss, & the organizers are Italian. :)