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  2. oldgeeza

    Would you have sex with a stranger for $10 000? (You choose sex, age, etc.)

    @Snao van der ConeI was my ideal weight (according to the BMI scale) for many, many years, then a few years ago I was temporarily paralysed, since then the weight has just gained, I go to the gym as often as I can, walk or cycle everywhere locally, but it doesn't want to come off, I went for a medical not so long ago, I was told I'm morbidly obese ;-) I'm not really into cake or pizza, but I do need to be a lot taller to stretch the pot around my middle ;-P
  3. Saphoune

    Starting a Relationship as an Aromantic

    I don't know anyone irl or online so I'll be looking forward for your experiences here too. What I would want is somebody who cares - like a safehouse - and who actually invests and commits to the relationship. I have a few very good friends but they have their own life: they have so many significant others (partner, childrens,...) that it is not reallistic for them to invest in a relationship with me. Being physically close or seeing/texting ourselves often is not a requirement. Just the feeling of commitment. I don't have brothers/sister so I'm not sure if this would be the same feeling.
  4. Solitary Lotus

    Hello!

    All are welcome here, so don’t feel like you’re in the wrong place. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I really empathize with you on the “not wanting to be mislabeled” thing. We live in a world where people love to stuff others into boxes in order to feel secure; often times these boxes are just based on their mislead assumptions, and frankly it can be angering when people try to decide who you are without even consulting you. I can tell you though in this community you’ll have a place to voice you grievances, annoyances, and anger; we won’t try to tell you who you are and we will always listen. Again welcome to AVEN, I’m so glad you’re here and I’m sure everyone else feels the same way! 🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰
  5. lonewolf Nomad

    Came out to my friends today :)

    Hello Poppity and congrats on coming out to your friends, I have sort of come out to a select few of mine , the results were not that pleasant for the most part. Thinking of actually gathering the rest of my social circle together this week and finally letting them all know that I am both Asexual and either aromantic or semi-romantic. I am honestly still rather confused on that part. Eitherway welcome and Cheers
  6. Spider-Suigin

    Quickly, Before They See!

    25 :0
  7. Spider-Suigin

    Word association game

    Joker
  8. Chihiro

    Feedback for Staff Elections/Volunteering

    I appreciate you doing that, but I have already discussed offline with former admods.... not to mention the fact that the said violation happened while I was talking to former admods (who would have told me to shut up if it indeed was something against AVEN rules). I have understood that some people are completely immune to AVEN rules and knowing that, its pointless talking about this. Another reason why I don't even feel like being a mod. As @Kimmie. said, I don't like having the kind of power that comes with this position. This power will only punish certain people while others will walk away with no consequence. Oh btw, you are doing a good job modding site comments like I would have wanted to if I had gotten that role. Keep up!
  9. timewarp

    Guess who comes next...

    Yep. Sky?
  10. oldgeeza

    Fear of Being alone

    I quite agree with @AceMissBehaving, I have heard of other ace couples who've met and set up life together, it's not impossible, there's also ace specific dating sites should you wish to go down that route, as asexuality is becoming more accepted and more widely known about, people aren't ashamed to admit to being asexual and we are catered for so much more than say 10 years ago when I first joined this site when hardly anyone had heard of the term asexual. I admit, asexual people are probably a bit more fussy about what they expect from a partner and relationship, but we still have to realise that we are a minority, we may not find that ideal (in their world) partner, but then, does anyone find their ideal partner? All I would say is keep an open mind, the person you could be looking for could be someone you've known for years, someone you bump into whilst waiting at the bus stop or walking down the street, you never know what's around the corner
  11. timewarp

    Red, Green, Blue, RAINBOW GOATS!

    Don't think so.
  12. Ice_scare

    Red, Green, Blue, RAINBOW GOATS!

    No, as in however, green will win
  13. timewarp

    Red, Green, Blue, RAINBOW GOATS!

    Green however? As in "however much they try, they never win"?
  14. Ice_scare

    Combine your username with the username above you

    Strange_scare
  15. Ice_scare

    Quickly, Before They See!

    24
  16. Hunji Qi

    Came out to my friends today :)

    Congratulation on coming out to your friend, it is a huge step to take. Also, it must be great that they understand and support you. I relate to your anxiety and uncertainty to coming out to your family, and it is truly a decision that shall be taken with caution. My friends and professors are very supportive to my coming out. They even encouraged me to make a conference poster regarding asexuality so that more people can understand. However, my coming out to my family was a disaster. There is a section in AVEN about coming out to family and I should have check it out before taking any further action. My family believes that anything to do with LGBTQIA+ is equivalent to mental illness that need to be treated. My mom thought that I was only being pessimistic since I have childhood trauma that causes disbelief in relationship and marriage. My dad dismissed me, and one of my aunt just cannot comprehend the distinction between romantic and sexual attraction and tried to comfort me by saying that it is "just a phrase." I also hear your fear of endless explaining and people's misunderstanding. You are not alone in that, we are still the ones with an "invisible" orientation," if you experience daily fatigue from that, we can chat. To welcome a new member, here is your piece of cake 🍰 Enjoy it and I hope that you enjoy it here too.
  17. Internetlionboy

    Starting a Relationship as an Aromantic

    Hello again ghsdjfhs I don't know me and my bf's relationship just... happened? like it's like we both like talking to each other and it's just been a while since I've felt this strongly about someone. It was like at a certain point that I told him that I really liked him and it'd be nice if we could date and he said that he'd love to and that he likes talking to me and yeah! I mean we met on Tumblr when he messaged me calling me beautiful and I love having him in my life after getting to know him (especially since he still cares about me a lot even after coming out to him as oriented aroace which?? honestly means a lot and I couldn't be happier) I've always known that I was aromantic but I was trying very hard to ignore that. I wanted to be normal (even though I know there's no way to be "normal"), I wanted to either get married with someone and/or live together with someone I love and care about as I loved everything about romance (and still do), so I tried being alloromantic and dating but I just could never be able to be romantically attracted to anyone even if they were the kind of person that you could fall in love in that kind of way after getting to know them! I've learned to accept that I how feel is ok, that platonic love is just as good and wonderful as romantic love, Maybe someday I might actually be able to fall in love with someone romantically and that's ok if that does happen. Anyways for how I wanted to be in a relationship with my bf, I just really like being able to talk to him about anything and everything and he's such a great listener and so supportive that sometimes I don't deserve him. Being able to talk to anyone about anything is definitely like something I look for in a relationship (especially since while I love talking, I could never just open up about how I'm really feeling, ya know? It takes a special kind of trust for me to do that with someone) as well as a good listener of course. Also me and him like video games and cuddling and that's just 👌 yes lmao I like anyone that's a dork and into video games really 😛 He just makes me really happy and I'm always looking forward to when he texts me back and just gsdhfjsh We haven't got the opportunity to go on a date unfortunately cause me and him are from different countries which we're 9 hours apart but we do plan on trying to voice and video chat, though once he has a day off from work so I'm looking forward to when that happens since that's pretty close to a date until I eventually move to England to live with him! ;v;
  18. Chihiro

    Feedback for Staff Elections/Volunteering

    I am already regretting making a suggestion regarding this. What I expected was "Feedback noted. Will encourage admods resigning to consider making a good bye post if they feel like it". Instead I am seeing defensiveness. You know how you are taught to say 'hello' and 'goodbye', because its a 'nice thing to do' 'makes you the recipient feel friendly'.... the suggestion was along those lines. It didn't need this sort of explanation. This is why I dont even like talking about admod team.... always get the feeling 'Us vs them' and I never get the feeling of 'We are in this together and its for our good'. I, obviously, know that this is personal decision. And I said it shouldn't be made mandatory. I am also aware that many people do not feel like discussing their personal reasons. I give up.... guess you all haven't worked in the kind of environment I have. No matter what the personal reasons, people have written a goodbye email when they quit their jobs. It has made them view these employees as human not a robot that abruptly stopped working due to malfunction.
  19. I wear moisturizer with sunscreen, powder, and mascara every day to tone down my oily skin and look more awake. I would wear more concealer if I could get it to blend without needing liquid foundation, which feels too heavy. I once got in trouble with my mother for not wearing makeup to school, but I've never performed gender to her expectations.🤷‍♀️
  20. lonewolf Nomad

    hello all

    Thank you all for the warm welcome, It just feels so Odd for lack of a better term to actually be able to finally converse with people of a like mind and spirit.My entire life I have felt as if just to "fit" in I was forced to live a lie.Once I finally came out and informed most of my friends about my asexual and aromantic nature, they all started looking at me as if I had four heads or something.Even though I have been divorced for just over a decade now.And most of my current crop of friends have not even see me so much as date. I am seriously taking a good hard long look at the people I socialize with here at home, and making some hard decisions. If my friends can not accept me for me, then there is no real reason to continue having them in my life. Since finally accepting who and what I am, I have begun to finally now in my 40's live the life I have always dreamed of living. My only regret is that I fought my own nature for so long.
  21. I like LGBT+ spaces because of the active discourse around things like differing sexualities and experiences. How our identities play into our larger selves. In straight spaces you don't really get that. I relate to the larger group because they know what it's like to be assumed as one thing but identify as something else. To be "the good straight girl who is very close to her female friends and isn't dating right now" while actually being a lesbian or bisexual whose family doesn't accept them. The frustration is real. In the larger stuff like PRIDE parades, I want asexuality to be visible. If we're not LGBT+ and we're definitely not straight, would we make our own parade? Who would even go to it? Who would even care? We're also a small community. Even trying to go to a meet-up, I've only met 6 other asexuals in real life. That doesn't leave me a lot of choices if I wanted to choose a community to be involved in. I love AVEN, but as soon as I step away from my computer, it's gone. Other than my sister, there are no asexuals I interact with regularly. Who, then, do I choose to align myself with? Most of my friends are straight. If I counted all of my friends over the last ten years, I can say only three have been not straight. But I still feel more comfortable aligning myself with GRSM or LGBT things because their lives have not been the same as mine. My straight friends have been empathetic, but my non-straight friends have actually understood.
  22. fragglerock

    Very new. Very relieved and extremely embarrassed

    Welcome!! I'm glad you found out about asexuality and AVEN and things are looking up!! Personally I don't think I'd be a good mentor, both being new to asexuality myself and being demisexual (a kind of gray-A where sexual attraction can happen but only when there is emotional connection) which sounds different than your place on the spectrum. I wanted to say that the "should have come with leaflets" phrase is a nice phrase that I really resonated with My experience hasn't been as rough as yours it sounds like but before I realized that "gray-A" and "demisexual" described me I would also try really hard to explain this to people, thinking it was just quirk of me in particular, trying and only partially succeeding at letting someone know I think they look nice but I don't want to have sex. People usually seemed to conclude that I was gay and didn't realize it.
  23. Internetlionboy

    Am I Asexual????? please help (explicit)

    I relate to some of what you said (I'm 18 myself as well) and while I love having sex, I just can't feel sexually attracted to any of the partners I had before (and I'm very sure that I feel sexually attracted to my bf but labels confusing ghsdjfh) It's like if someone asks me if I wanted to have sex with them, I would be ok with it kind of deal I wish you luck in figuring this out, you're valid if you find out you're on the ace spectrum or not! ^^
  24. I've heard others say on here that they have significant others despite being aromantic, they just remain platonically attracted to their partner. I was wondering about other's experiences in this area, how you started your relationships, when it came up that you or your partner are aromantic, how you know you want to be in a relationship with them, how you like to spend time with each other, and all the other cute shit!
  25. Una Salus Victus

    Feedback for Staff Elections/Volunteering

    This part I, personally think may make the elections a bit more bland. A standard selection of questions may not cover everything someone may want to know, and also can take the fun out of it for those who may make it that more colourful.
  26. Ice_scare

    Red, Green, Blue, RAINBOW GOATS!

    Green however
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