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  2. Mandelbrotina

    Do I Count?

    I have this, too, mostly toward giant men. I mean like, fairy tale giant. I felt/feel the same about it as you do, and it's hard for me to admit (dunno why, I've heard of far stranger fetishes like coprophilia - turned on by fecal matter). I was raised at arms length growing up, and had an unhappy childhood. Perhaps it's a daddy issue. Also, I was three when Honey, I Shrunk the Kids came out. Anyway, you didn't choose the fetish, and it's harmless. You didn't kill anyone. Glad to meet a fellow macrophile! Chin up, and enjoy the view of your lovely giantesses, guilt-free!
  3. firebird8

    Incredibly Ace Moments

    Throwing pearls before swine, perhaps?
  4. That is certainly what I have been told. "Dancing in my head" was the exact turn off phrase, IIRC.
  5. firebird8

    Black Rings

    Well, sure, mine is titanium. But doesn't the feeling of being wet between your skin and ring bother you? I guess now that I think about it, I've never noticed women actually taking off and putting back on rings and surely I would've in all the years of using public restrooms. But still.
  6. I agree that no one can really answer that "yes or no"... or even agree on definitions of terms... but sharing stories and experiences helps people understand their own situations. A lot of people learn a lot rather rapidly just by asking that question, and I still learn reading those questions and coming up with replies. I mean, there could be better ways to phrase the question, but getting that off of your chest and hearing what other people think is usually therapeutic. It is the basis of group therapy.
  7. blunose2772

    Interview the person below you

    1. New Zealand 2. No 3. I'm a simple person so all I need is somewhere with plenty of room for my books and DVDs and wall space for pictures and posters 1. Get a pizza from a pizza place or cook a frozen pizza? 2. Coke or Pepsi? 3. what would rather do with your leisure time curl up with a good book or play video games?
  8. Not even suggestions to what their descriptions line up with?
  9. Hello, quick introductions, I’m Jake! I’m 18 almost 19 and I’m in college as well as an amateur photographer. I’ve never posted on any forum before so bare with me: (I might think of details later that I think should be included but if I can’t edit the post then I’ll make a follow up post) I sort of knew I was asexual or something along on the lines of it when I started either my first or second year of high school. I wasn’t entirely popular, but I did hang out with a lot of the “cooler” kids due to the clubs and opportunities I was involved in. Everyone was very intimate with relationships at my high school but not I. Even to this day, I’ve never had sex or kissed anyone yet (in a romantic way). I get criticized for being a “romantic virgin” as I’ve been told and it sucks. I was even asked by my best friend if I was gay in front of a few of my other friends. He has never really thought of his words before he says it but that... that hit me hard. Says the guy who has taken girls’ v-cards and lost his at church camp. By the way I am definitely into girls, no questions asked. Now getting into my journey into the research and partial decision behind asexuality: From many websites and forum-based pages like this one, I was afraid of thinking I was another sexuality. I don’t really know why. My family is very accepting to the LBGTQ+ community as friends and family have come out as gay/lesbian and some have gotten married since. In high school, I privately threw that word around my head not really thinking to much into it but after my first semester of college ended, it was an experience let me tell you. Now my college is small to medium sized, with a female to male ratio of 60% (F) to 40% (M). Seems like a prime opportunity to get to know people, maybe start a relationship and experiment to see if maybe I am. Experiences help make further decisions I reminded myself often but in terms of asking a girl out, I get into full social anxiety mode. Yeah I got friend zoned a few times over the semester but those failed attempts turned into great friendships. I’ve never really been one to want/need sex from a relationship. I would much rather ease into that once a stable connection has been made. I don’t fully refrain from sexual pleasure though, I still do that once in awhile. I am afraid of sex. I know it sounds weird but the motions and the process is something I cannot see my self doing. I’ve watched Sex Education on Netflix about twice now and I really resonate with Otis on that show. The first 30 seconds of the first episode is a sex scene which in itself doesn’t look pleasing or appealing to me. While I sometimes get aroused, it’s more of an attractiveness vibe than a sexual one if that makes sense. I’m not trying to say I don’t want to have sex one day, but I just don’t feel ready for it. While that may be okay, another reason if my self-image/ body confidence issues. I am 6 feet 6 inches tall and am still on that end range of puberty. I don’t have much facial hair and I also have gynecomastia or basically where you have man-boobs. I hate that word so much, I’d rather use the first term but to save you a google search, there it is. My father stopped puberty when he was 21 so there is still some time for them to shrink back down or they may be like this. Not only is it not attractive I also tend to wear heavier clothes around the spring time to avoid the ‘jiggle’ with t-shirts or even at the beach. I consider myself to be pretty out of shape as well. I’m not overweight, but I have struggled with shortness of breath on hikes and I have chronic joint pain in my wrists and ankles at such a young age as well as poor posture. So many things I wish I could go back and fix about myself but I have to live with them either way. I have so much to live up to and have been trying to lead a more relaxed, no worry lifestyle but everything always seems to come back either way. Any words or advice would help. (If the grammar isn’t proper I’m sorry. I’m writing this at midnight and I’m exhausted)
  10. Jade Cross

    Jade Cross

    *Randomly listens to Original Pokemon theme song* :,) 


    Random person: Are you cry


    Me: Whos crying? Im not crying! Youre crying! I mean its some damn onions that were left here!

  11. daveb

    anyone past 50 on here?

    I guess?
  12. Hi all, I just found Aven because my son told me theres over 30 genders and i got curious enough to wonder how you can get that many genders from 2 genitalia. old mind old brain. some of what is on here is difficult for me to understand but that may just be because i havent been feeling well. I was pleasantly surprised to find ME on here. ive always kept my lack of desire to myself because i know that people wont understand. the few times i have told people, it was out of desperation and accompanied by a statement like "you dont think i know theres something really wrong with me because i dont want sex?" i only say it when i feel cornered and am fighting tears when i do. its also always hard dealing with men who dont want to understand im not a sexual person and dont want to have sex with them. i dont feel like i should have to explain myself to anyone but i occassionally find myself doing just that because some strange guy tries to pick me up when im walking to the store or im dealing with a jealous woman who thinks men and women cant be just friends or something like that. anyway, i figured out years ago im hetero-asexual. i got that from my elementary school education of the 2 words but, reading some of these articles is confusing me. now im not sure if im a, grey-a, demi-a or allo and do you have a monog(omous?)-a because i feel like that probably describes me best. ive always had an aversion to sex. even if i were built for it, ive just always felt put off by it, when i did have it, i had to be talked into it until, i eventually learned that 1. a man isnt going to respect my answer and 2. even if he does, hes going to expect it sooner or later. being someone who didnt have the opportunity to form strong loving bonds growing up, i made a compromise, i gave them what they wanted and i got to feel what emotional physical contact was like and the void wasnt as stark until the pillow talk was over. i dont really feel like i identify with an allo though because i didnt really want the sex, i just knew it was going to happen anyway, i didnt get any pleasure out of it because i was never into it and always felt empty and like i was missing out on something. dont get me wrong, i was always emotionally attached and i did it to make them happy. i even "faked it" so theyd feel good about themselves. i tried o capture what everyone else felt, its just never been there for me. i did have a libido when i was younger but, i resigned to kill that after putting up with years of accussations of having affairs with men, women, anything at all. my thought process was, im giving you sex that im not getting anything out of and you think that im messing around while im busy at work. if i stop having sex altogether, you'll know im not a sexual person. surprisingly, that worked. but your aricles on "sexual desire" and "primary verses sexual attraction model" are confusing. you acknowledge in other articles that some of us do have a libido but in these articles you say "Primary sexual desire is the desire to engage in sexual activity for the purposes of personal pleasure whether physical, emotional, or both." but in "primary verses sexual attraction model" you say we cant experience primary sexual desire. back when i had a libido, there were one or 2 men who i knew was approaching because the first sign that i knew they were approaching was my bodies response to their pheromones. it knew before i did. i hated it and would silently curse because im just not a sexual person and sometimes, if they lingered too long, get grumpy. it was an unwanted involuntary response that occurred in an equivalent fashion as orgasm does with genital manipulation. I didnt sleep with those men but, if i had it would have been for physical relief of a feeling i got, that my brain processes with the same confusion as tickling. my body reacts as though with pleasure but im not quite sure if its pleasure or pain that i feel because of the intensity. isnt this primary sexual desire of a purely physical nature or am i confused? or does this make me grey? there is also the unique exception in my life that made me ask about monogamous-asexuality. my former husband is one of those men with the pheromone problem. he was a hopelessly romantic eccentric who saw me the moment i walked into work on my first day and decided then and there that he was going to marry me. he worked overtime to win me over. i definitely had my reservations at first but he didnt relent. everything he did was personal and from the heart. he is very creative and artistic. once i spent a little time getting to know him i fell in love pretty quickly and, as odd and inconvenient some of the things he did to keep me interested were, i look forward to, as much as dreaded, the dates he had me dress up for so i could walk up rocky inclines in the park or be drug through marshy overgrown pools under bridges in heels. hes the only man that ever made me feel "different". i wanted his brand of romance and i wanted sex with him, but it was all different from what people think of it as being. the romance was rough and tumble. we went out on town watch together, did work on the car and the house. he had a weekly obsession with a puddle at the bottom of a hill that he was consumed with trying to find a way to get our old station wagon through. we usually had to push it through. everything we did was an adventure and we flirted non-stop. we were married a year and a half after we met. sex wasnt like masturbating. the orgasm was an obstacle i was impatient to get out of the way so i could reach the true heights of climax. it affected me physically and exgulfed my whole body but it wasnt physical at all. it was just my bodies response to what my mind and spirit experienced. its a type of ecstacy like i was pulled out of my body and floating in space for several minutes before settling back down. even though my body was screaming to quit after about 20 minutes, i never said a word and he kept me in a rotating state of ecstacy and we stopped when he got tired. i wanted him to be happy and i liked watching him too. i also enjoyed the foreplay. i liked the subtle changes in his body. while my husband and i were together, i was very sexual and loved the romance, even though i know it wasnt "typical", because i loved him. otherwise though, ever day before him and every day after him, ive never liked sex, ive never seen things men do to impress me as romantic and alot of it makes me uncomfortable. i never liked kissing, i can take or leave holding hands, i cant stand anyone putting their arm around me, my husband is the only man i ever let dance with me after my first date. even with male friends, i dont let them know where i live unless i know them very well (years), and know they dont look at me that way; and i dont want to know where they live because ive had some spring on me that they were in love with me and wanted a relationship with me. i dont want them to feel comfortable making advances i did remarry because the man i was with had serious health problems and needed medical insurance. weve abstained for 20 years. the abstinance started about 15 years before we married. ive also had 2 other relationships where i had sexx because i enjoyed their pleasure. im not sure where on the spectrum all this puts me. i definitely dont want sex and dont enjoy it except for the reasons stated. the only time i ever found pleasure in the act or romance was with my first husband because i love him. i became abstinate because i was being falsly accused of having affairs while i was having sex out of a sense of obligation to my second husband. when i did have sex, it was usually a compromise i made with myself that fulfilled a need, but i have had a primary physical arousal in response to two men. the only time ive ever wanted romance/sex is from my lifetime monogamous-love, whom even fter nearly 30 years apart and 300+ miles distance, i still experience a spiritual connection with (think of adam and eve before separation as one person, then "the two shall become one flesh [again], and you'll understand) am i asexual,or grey-a or does the monogamous-love exception or the pheromone arousal make me demisexual or something else? like i said, those are all isolated circumstances
  13. Not only do we not know (because we're not you), AVEN states in its PoS that we shouldn't try to tell anyone what they are. Mods used to be alert to people "diagnosing" other people, but that hasn't been happening the last few years. Maybe it's time to let people know that it's not appropriate to try to tell other people what they are merely from a few words on an internet forum. We can try to clarify what asexuality is, yes -- but anything else , nope. All of us are individuals and we'd end up saying many different things, depending on our individual opinions and experiences. Look at the information on AVEN -- it's there to inform!
  14. anxiousdolphin134

    feeling sad + alone

    Hey! First off, I want you to know that being asexual is totally okay. If people aren't accepting of that, that's their problem. There is more to life than sexual relationships and you are perfect just the way you are. That sounds really cheesy, but being asexual isn't anything to be ashamed of. If you're worried about being alone, try confiding in close friends or making new ones - you are not alone as long as you have someone, romantic or not. If you're experiencing thoughts about not wanting to be ace, read some of the replies on these posts: Anyways, I hope you feel better about your identity. By the way, it's a tradition on AVEN to welcome new members with cake, so here ya go!
  15. N8LV3y

    Favorite mythical creature?

    Phoenix the Japanese/Chinese orient
  16. anxiousdolphin134

    Is it important to come out as asexual

    If you ever get into a serious romantic relationship with someone, it might help to let them know that you're asexual. If they can't accept that, they might not be a good match for you. However, that's the only situation I can think of where it's really important to come out as ace. Also, if friends are talking about sex and you're not comfortable with that, you could tell them that you're asexual and you'd appreciate if they talked about something else.
  17. Sally

    Prayers needed please

    I'm sending good thoughts to your kitty and you. Is your kitty and inside/outside kitty? If so, I wonder if she ate a plant that was bad for cats.
  18. eorion

    Favorite mythical creature?

    Dragons i think. Unless cryptids count - In which case it's Mothman, followed by Ol' Spider Legs
  19. firewallflower

    Guess the word!

  20. Ezra Miller for style. Tyler Hoechlin because he has a beautiful smile.
  21. I totally forgot Lupita Nyong’o before. Just watch the video of her from when she did Lip Sync Battle. Lupita Nyong’o Lip Sync Battle
  22. A. Sterling

    Favorite mythical creature?

    Griffins are the first thing that come to mind. Manticores are interesting, though I doubt they'd be a favorite. The Questing Beast is pretty great. Phoenix. Centaurs are great. I also like Marsyas who is a satyr, but Pan is the worst.
  23. firewallflower

    Favorite mythical creature?

    Phoenixes, unicorns, dragons, pegasi... the list could go on. If more humanoid beings count, I also have a thing for dryads and selkies.
  24. I've been somewhat hesitant to come out to anyone, as the one of the only two people I've ever come out two voiced that he felt that my asexuality was a sin, and that I was deceived. How common is this sentiment?
  25. Today
  26. will123

    anyone past 50 on here?

    Voters can 'unelect' them. We can't get rid of weather people we don't like
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