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  2. Thank you for the kind words.😊 It's still a bit fresh, but the incident described above does hurt, especially since i've had intercourse with her on multiple ocassions before. We've talked about it before and i did explain to her that while i feel no sexual attraction, i'm not repulsed by the idea of it and would gladly do it to fulfill her desires. And now almost a year into the relationship i suddenly find myself wondering if this is the right partner for me after all, and if i can live with someone that will constantly try to "fix" my sexuality... 😔
  3. uhtred

    Why not, America?

    I agree with the need for change in the way the government runs, but I don't see a way to get there. The people and organizations currently in power got there under the present system, and will naturally support that system. The constitution does allow changes, but the requirements are going to be extremely difficult to meet with the present level of division in the country. Of course we would also need broad agreement on what constitutes a better system.
  4. Kimchi Peanut

    Shower vs Bath: AVEN Championship

    I do hate shower curtains. I had one with glazed shower doors - that was great.
  5. CBC

    After 3 years he wants sex and a child..

    @MakeshiftHeart At this point, your job is to take care of yourself and work on letting go of the situation. Whatever the truth is, it still sucks and it still hurts and that's the reality. One-sidedly analysing the past doesn't really accomplish anything. You two are both free to move onto something better.
  6. Catserole

    Shower vs Bath: AVEN Championship

    Yeah, modern shower enclosures tend to give a larger area to stand in than a standard bathtub unless it's a really small one you're squeezing into an ensuite room. Then there's the horror of the shower curtain, or those glass partition screens that never seem to be quite long enough.
  7. ryn2

    anyone past 50 on here?

    Oh, that’s great news!
  8. ryn2

    After 3 years he wants sex and a child..

    I’m assuming the OP is the best judge of which it was, having lived it. Either way, though, kids just aren’t “compromise-able”... and there’s a big difference between someone who isn’t sure they want kids and someone who is adamant they don’t/never will. Do people in the latter category occasionally change their minds? Sure. But it’s not a gamble someone who thinks they may want kids should take and then complain about.
  9. Kimchi Peanut

    Shower vs Bath: AVEN Championship

    Wait... So you didn’t have a shower growing up? How did you wash? 🧐 Why are you using quotes for shower like it’s not a real shower if it’s in a bathtub? Is that considered something separate from a normal shower where you’re from? I don’t actually know anyone with a stand-alone shower - as in every home I can think of where I’ve used their bathroom has a bath/shower. (Both in the US and UK.) It has literally never occurred to me that someone might class a shower bath combo as completely different to a walk-in shower. I basically only see bathless showers in second smaller bathrooms in bigger houses. (Not a big enough room to have a normal sized shower with a bathtub.) Really? I’ve found the opposite. My childhood house had a second, smaller bathroom where there wasn’t enough room for a regular sized shower/tub. So the previous owners put a shower enclosure in. It sucked. We never used it. It was very basic - not the kind of shower you normally find in a regular tub where you can adjust things - and tiny. I have used huge luxurious showers in nice hotels but that’s absurdly out of my price range. 😂 Does your shower not have shower head settings?
  10. CBC

    Advice

    Well, you two seem to be pretty entangled, and if you're going to scale things back, I think it's best to have an honest conversation about what's going on, yeah. I've been in too many situations (in life in general) where straightforward communication didn't happen and assumptions were made, expectations held, etc. Talk and make some decisions and stick to the boundaries you decide upon. It'll just get messier otherwise. Best to minimise the potential for unintentional hurt by being honest with each other instead of dancing around whatever lines currently exist.
  11. Astrobot

    Shower vs Bath: AVEN Championship

    Well, in Greece most old houses have a bathtub instead of a shower but it's not what I meant (Especially since showers are becoming quite common in new houses). What I meant is that most people I know (which is a small sample so I'm not insinuating anything about the general population) tend to take a bath there whereas I don't.
  12. Expedition

    After 3 years he wants sex and a child..

    Well we weren't there, so maybe. I don't think disagreeing with you about noisy kids really counts as pressuring you though, if that's all that was going on.
  13. Very cool! I did a presentation on asexuality for a class, but mine was for counseling students, so the topics may or may not apply. Feel free to take them or leave them. - The difference between sexual attraction and libido. Many aces have an active libido, just don't have a desire to tend to it through sex. It causes a lot of confusion. - Asexuality has really only gained recognition and scientific study in the last 2 decades. Good luck!
  14. MakeshiftHeart

    After 3 years he wants sex and a child..

    As someone who has lived with him for 3 years and seen his ways, I do think he lied the entire time. There have been multiple times I began to wonder if he was trying to pressure me to have kids. There have been incidents where I got annoyed by the energy and noise kids were making, and he would say “They’re just being kids!” He’s gotten mad at me saying I hate them just for “existing” when that my be true but I NEVER react towards kids I just remove myself from the area they’re in. There has been MANY “if I had a kid” stories. Theres also been other problems he would not communicate with me on until he was MAD about it. So yes I think this is something he held onto and just now let out.
  15. Ciki

    Infertility and Asexuality

    I'm glad you were able to move on and live your life in peace. Also,i'm a huge animal lover,so what do you have (cats,dogs...)?You don't have to answer if you don't want to,of course.
  16. Expedition

    Advice

    I think it's all too predictable, actually.
  17. dmvfhr99

    Advice

    Do you think I should vocalise it or is that superfluous (with the potential of being hurtful)?
  18. MetricalSky

    Chain Game – Geography

    In 2010, the Queen Charlotte Islands were officially renamed Haida Gwaii, which means "islands of the Haida people."
  19. dmvfhr99

    Advice

    Thank you, I think I know that I need to scale the amount we interact with each other back. It feels like something of a failure, because I know that there's nothing wrong with asexuality and wish that I could be the kind of person who wouldn't be hurt by a certain level of unpredictability.
  20. daveb

    anyone past 50 on here?

    Thanks, @ryn2, for the info and the good thoughts! Yeah, the point wasn't to be protected against all forms of meningitis. Seems like the shingles vaccine could be worthwhile just to help protect against shingles by itself, let alone that specific form of viral meningitis. But like I said, I'm not in the medical field, nor in any position to get vaccines so I haven't studied it at this time. I have also been concerned for my mom if things got worse with my brother. But the latest news is they have taken him off of sedation and he has been awake and seems to be doing fairly well, albeit weak at this point (understandably).
  21. Sabee

    Infertility and Asexuality

    It did hurt but not affecting now. I have made peace with it. Besides I am a mother of 2 fur babies.
  22. Expedition

    After 3 years he wants sex and a child..

    Are they? Aces tend to get understanding on here, for obvious reasons, that I've seen. I agree, it's about good faith. I'm assuming it, others are assuming bad faith.
  23. Catserole

    Shower vs Bath: AVEN Championship

    In my case I just prefer dedicated shower enclosures. They tend to be roomier, and you can turn the pressure up on the shower without the water going everywhere.
  24. Ciki

    Shower vs Bath: AVEN Championship

    I mean we had a bathtub in a house i grew up in.But now,we have a shower. (I phrased that poorly in my original post,i know.Hope it makes more sense now.) Well,where i am it's not uncommon to have a 'shower' in a bathtub.That basically means that you're standing up in a bathtub and washing yourself. (I'm guessing that's what these people meant,but then again,i could be wrong...)
  25. ryn2

    After 3 years he wants sex and a child..

    People are pretty harsh on aces who say they are fine with sex when they aren’t, in hopes their partners won’t want much sex after all... ...but ultimately it comes down to “was it a good-faith effort/commitment or did he lie in expectation OP would come around?”
  26. Expedition

    After 3 years he wants sex and a child..

    Yes. Been there. And would you be as cynical about an asexual taking three years to come to the conclusion they couldn't take having sex any more?
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