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  2. Philip027

    Wanting sex as a asexual

    That's fine and all, but it doesn't answer my question. Chances are, you probably already know that you'd rather not drink out of a toilet bowl, even before pursuing specifics about the bacteria. That's simple. If you can't answer whether you want sex that simply, that's fair, but for most people it is simple for them to know what they do and do not want. (Whether they feel it is worthwhile to pursue the things they want, is another story.) Most sexuals know they want sex, before they've even had it, and before they know everything about it. Honestly, we're better off not even bothering with that, if tumblr is anything to go by.
  3. nerdperson777

    #AsexualProblems

    One of my roommates showed the rest of us a video of them talking to their professor from a few years back. They said that it looks like they have a boner, because of the pant ripples. I just impulsively laughed while everyone else was silent. I really hope they don't think that I suddenly got dirty minded.
  4. nerdperson777

    Different Dysphorias

    *activating my bra fairy powers*
  5. Skycaptain

    #AsexualProblems

    When people don't believe you're asexual because you have a very lewd sense of humour
  6. nerdperson777

    #AsexualProblems

    @Destan I remember in high school, this one guy had a "friend" who kept irritating him. He had a badminton racket with him, probably because he was taking the badminton unit in PE. He took the racket from his backpack one day and kept chasing the friend around a picnic table where my friends were sitting for lunch. He takes a rock and tries to hit it across the table at the friend. Well, he missed. He hit my friend right on the nose. He then proceeded to: 1) Give my friend a dollar, 2) Say it's the friend's fault for running away from him, and 3) Continue chasing him. The irony of it was that he had just asked another guy in our group during break how to pick up girls. But that guy he asked was very proudly cishet and was willing to take off his pants to prove he was a guy when we joked that he was a girl. He really didn't hold back hiding his attraction to girls. Is that why physics is so hard? I was great at math and chemistry, barely passed biology, but still felt like I knew nothing even when getting a B in physics? That B only lasted for like mechanics. I almost got a B in electricity & magnetism, forgot how I did in thermodynamics, and passed somehow with a C- in quantum. I wasn't ever using any of the knowledge again since I switched majors after quantum. My current degree doesn't have any physics requirements so I really have no reason to have taken all those lower division physics.
  7. Feys&Florets

    Wanting sex as a asexual

    Nah, it's not that simple. I have a very logical and curious approach to everything in life (STEM major who finds everything fascinating) Heck, I would actually be really interested to learn about all the gross bacteria floating around in that toilet bowl, just because I'm such a nerd. Disgusting, yes. But still fascinating. It doesn't help that sexuality is a branch of psychology and the human mind...good luck attaching definitions on every single naunce there is. If I tried to explain it more, I might just be hijacking this thread...I don't want to do that.
  8. Dreamsexual

    ASMR Recommends

    So glad asmr exists - everyday addict, lol
  9. iff

    Hi, I'm a pancake!

    Hi Sam, welcome. It is great to hear that this has given you confidence While I'm here, I'd like to point out a number of useful threads and places on the AVEN. Most important is the site Terms of Service (ToS). I suggest you read them over and feel free to PM me or another mod or admin if you have any questions. Same goes for general forum questions (and you can also use this thread if you'd prefer). That said, if you have any questions about a specific forum, you should ask the moderator of that forum (you can find a list of who mods where here). I'd also recommend poking around each forum to see what each one is about if you haven't already -- it'll get you used to the site and who the regulars are Here's a few more Welcome-related or newbie links you might find useful: A brief guide to the forums Welcome Lounge mini-manual Asexuality FAQ Welcoming other members Welcome to Aven, I hope you like it here Ama - ask me anything? Maybe
  10. arnell

    Am I Demisexual?

    I mean, I think I still feel that I do get sexual attraction, but it is usually that attraction is not connected to physical qualities of the person that I am attracted to.. It still makes me want to have sex with him and enjoy it. That is still sexual attraction right? Also, thank you for your answer and the cake
  11. Duke Memphis

    Duke Memphis

    I just saw Infinity War. A lot of people say it's a really good movie, but I've never really been into Marvel movies. Despite not knowing a handful of the main characters or backstory, I thought it was a great movie.

  12. iff

    Hello from a confused soul

    Hi nodel, welcome to aven and thanks for sharing about how your views on your dexual identity have evolved While I'm here, I'd like to point out a number of useful threads and places on the AVEN. Most important is the site Terms of Service (ToS). I suggest you read them over and feel free to PM me or another mod or admin if you have any questions. Same goes for general forum questions (and you can also use this thread if you'd prefer). That said, if you have any questions about a specific forum, you should ask the moderator of that forum (you can find a list of who mods where here). I'd also recommend poking around each forum to see what each one is about if you haven't already -- it'll get you used to the site and who the regulars are Here's a few more Welcome-related or newbie links you might find useful: A brief guide to the forums Welcome Lounge mini-manual Asexuality FAQ Welcoming other members Welcome to Aven, I hope you like it here
  13. Dreamsexual

    Synthwave and other electro genres

    Ooooohhhh yeah - very nice! @robnrdbrd
  14. BeakLove

    What does a QPP mean for you

    Y'know, all of the examples of QPR you've given are either cartoon characters or people who've divorced. Like, would anyone in their right mind actually consider amiable divorcees to be a stronger relationship than best friends? And were you to inquire and ask with a simple question, as you put it, they might respond, "oh we couldn't make it work as a couple, but we've made it work as more-than-friends (a QPR)" which I think would confuse basically anyone. It reduces friendship - even best friendship - even best friend forever friendship [!!] - to being nothing. Divorcees with life entanglements did not choose to have a house together, kids, etc. as friends or a "QPR", they did so as partners. Accidentally ending up with those things with someone with whom you're friendly, but couldn't make the relationship work with, is not the same thing as positively entering into that relationship state and doing so. It's an accident of history, and making the best of a bad situation. What's the point in the word then? It's defining a category for which there are no distinct membership evaluation criteria: it's useless!!! Also: no one would mistake JD and Turk for being a couple, unless they were looking to do so.
  15. Dreamsexual

    Coming out?

    Awesome Love how you went straight back to discussing beholders, drow, ents and elves. #Priorities.
  16. Dreamsexual

    Wanting sex as a asexual

    Kinda how I fell about the whole of AVEN tbh ... I love it, but ...
  17. Philip027

    Wanting sex as a asexual

    I know many things I either want or don't want despite not necessarily knowing everything about them. Do you need to learn about all the specific types of bacteria that can grow inside a toilet bowl before knowing whether or not you'd like to drink water out of one? Didn't think it was usually that complicated tbh. (But if you can't even tell whether or not you want sex or most other things, chances are you probably don't)
  18. OtakuAce2004

    A little confused now..

    Okay so for the past 3/4 years I’ve identified as gay oriented aro ace, but now that I have a qpp/girlfriend I’m getting myself a little confused. How exactly do you define what’s romantic attraction? Bc with my parter I like being with her, holding hands, cuddling and sending cute text messages, but I have no desire to kiss her/take her out on individual dates? So I’m not sure if that’s romantic or alterous attraction..? I also have never felt this way about any other person, hence why I thought I was aro but I’m not really sure anymore. I think I’m either demiromantic, homoromantic or oriented aro..? But which one idk..
  19. Feys&Florets

    Wanting sex as a asexual

    First I have to know what 'want sex' even is. It's like the Mary in the Room. You can study a topic all you want, but will you ever know everything about it until you experience it?
  20. CustardCream

    Hello from a confused soul

    Hello and welcome - Cake? 🍰🍰🍰
  21. Philip027

    Wanting sex as a asexual

    What is so confusing about "doesn't want sex"? Do you not even know if you want sex?
  22. Today
  23. Milkshakes are predominantly potato starch Farage wants to press charges against the assailant. Pity there's not much milk involved, or we could churn out bad puns about assault and buttery
  24. Feys&Florets

    Wanting sex as a asexual

    Welp, I came here to see if I could learn more about the definition of asexuality. I left a lot more confused. 😂
  25. Ayra Star

    Alphabetical "Better than sex" game

    Ninja training is better than sex
  26. The Terrible Travis

    cuss/curse/swear

    only six of you got this right smh
  27. BeakLove

    Need a bit of advice...

    Did you mean to say you weren't really into sex? If it's as typed then it's pretty obvious that your boyfriend had (a reasonable) expectation of a sexual relationship and it's likely that the time it's taken without that expectation being met has worn away his patience. My understanding upon re-reading is that you have done the "sensual" stuff and you enjoy that because you get an emotional/closeness response from it: cuddling/kissing doesn't necessarily have to be sexually arousing. But he wants that direct sexual dimension too. Not to be crass about this but maybe you could just try it once and see how it goes: let it go "beyond" the foreplay element and see if you and he enjoy it. Wank each other off or something and see if you get something from his pleasure, even if it's not doing too much for you. If it really doesn't work for you or you feel terrifically uncomfortable you can always stop: he sounds like someone you can trust if you withdraw consent. But my honest opinion is that if he is frustrated and feeling rejected it's probably only going to get more-so. Sexual rejection can hurt far more than someone lets on. And that rejection is not really dampened just by knowing that someone is a "certain way". At the end of the day, whether you're rejecting him because you're asexual, or because you're just not into him: it's still rejection.
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