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  2. GeekyGamerZack

    Slice of Ace YouTube channel discussion

    Here's a thought: Which of the Avengers (MCU) do you consider highly likely to be asexual? This obviously doesn't have to be straight up aro ace, either, as you'll see in my example (SPOILER WARNING!):
  3. SithGirl

    Your least favorite film and why?

    Well, it was a 2017 movie which opened with a dramatic scenario where our protagonists are being attacked by their enemy, they may be done for, but the first focus of the film is one a single man in a tiny ship (a man known to be "the best pilot in the Resistance") going up to the leader of the enemy forces who is in one of the biggest ships in the known universe and saying "Hey, I have a message for this dude. He there? I can't hear you. It's important. Can you hear me? It concerns his mother." And the enemy leader being so "Yes, I can hear you. Why can't he hear me? Is this thing on? Hello? What? Argh! Just shoot him!" MauLer also dwells on it destroying any respect we have for Hux. In TFA he seemed like he's a force to be reckoned with. Like Grand Moff Tarkin but the equal to Kylo as opposed to Vader's superior. He's an influential figure and one to be respected or feared. Only to not understand when someone is trolling him like a ten year old in TLJ. This is a movie for a franchise that has fans from the 70s. I know it's trying to engage children, but when you're an adult and this is a universe/franchise you've loved since you were little, do you want it opening to a scene which is groan-inducing humor at best?
  4. crazy ace

    I went to an LGBT group and it was helpful

    I think that is one of the most level-headed explanations that I have read about invalidation and acceptance on AVEN.
  5. I remember an event where you might have felt invalidated that resulted in a definition debate. Such disputes aren't about you but rather definitions and groups as a whole. It's not "You're not asexual because~" but rather "these defintions contradict each other and therefore cannot both be used simultaneously". Try and not take them personally. Maybe it's not the only instance, but maybe if you moved past it you'd feel better. So people are just assholes sometimes, myself included at times. People can be mean, but it's up to you whether you let that affect everything you do from then on. I'm glad you found a group that welcomed you and made you feel better. I hope you can move past the wrongs that were done to you.
  6. Zagadka

    -nsfw- Asexual Rant

    We're always figuring things out. There is no final answer, and there is no need to prove membership in a club. I would just focus on being the most comfortable and happy in the moment. I haven't faced the same kind of questions, so I can't offer more, but good luck.
  7. cdrdash

    anyone past 50 on here?

    Went on three hikes yesterday. Guess yesterday was one of those days I would have worn some of you out! I did a morning 6 mile hike, a mid afternoon 2 mile hike, and then a 4.5 mile night time hike (8 pm to 10 pm). I thought the night hike was going to be from 6 to 8 pm and only be around 2 miles long but ... NOPE. So I hiked 12.5 miles in all yesterday. I did take a nice nap in my car from 4:30 to 5:30 p.m. while waiting for the night hike. The night hike was run by the park and started off with watching the sun set from the parking lot. Then we moved to a room in the HQ and watched a slide show about interesting things in nature that change color under a UV light. At 8 pm set off with borrowed UV flashlights and got to see quite a few tiny scorpions glowing blue. It was very cool. I managed to get two pictures of the same scorpion but then gave up taking photos as the pace of the hike and the having to be careful to watch where I stepped in the dark required all my attention. Here are all the many pictures I took yesterday on the hikes: https://photos.app.goo.gl/L6kAsd9YEb8uYbGDA Welcome @ChristineN and @schadeaux. I try to not let age matter but I confess that I run into more "kindred spirits" closer to my age than not. I find a certain comfort in my peers who have similar experiences to me.
  8. Moony Lovegood

    Your least favorite film and why?

    @SithGirl I think I would need to see the scenes you mentioned in the context of the film to get them. What did you think was bad about the opening scene? Was it that it was cringy?
  9. Zagadka


    I was literally looking for this thread to say pretty much the same thing. I see a lot of people looking for help with their relationships, and I feel useless because I have literally no capacity to advise.
  10. Dr. Beat

    Your least favorite film and why?

    The movie North with Elijah Wood. It's like if someone attempted to make a kid's movie with cartoonish writing, but only watched racist cartoons from the 40's. There is actual blackface use. At one point, some white guy with face makeup on to make him look more Asian comes up to the main character and goes 'herro, son!' while a bunch of people worship an emperor in the background. This was made in like the 90's. It's a kid's film. What the actual fuck. Plus everything outside of the racism is bad too.
  11. JugglerGirl

    Finally feeling some relief

    Thank you!
  12. @anisotrophic This is my first day here, I haven't even registered yet, and only researching if my wife is asexual and if that explains some of the problems we now have after 11 years marriage (seems so since the few threads I've read so far really hit home!) but I felt the need to comment for totally unrelated reasons. Anyway, beyond finding much value in your experiment and appreciating your sharing/reporting I really wanted to point out that you have an incredibly beautiful way with words. I mean the topic at hand might hinder some of the potential but even then your words, phrasing, descriptions and all made it impossible for me to not continue reading. Even the "mundane" reporting parts were interesting to read. If you're are not a professional writer/novelist, the may be missing out a little bit. This, here, is absolute poetry! --" think sex -- when it does happen -- becomes something precious. Like some faint music only heard when every other sound is removed, like stars you can only see when the sun and moon have left the sky, and the night is as dark as you can make it."--
  13. borderprincess

    -nsfw- Asexual Rant

    Going through this struggle right now, it sucks. I somehow keep managing to end up having sex even though it just hurts and damages me, and every time I do it I feel a) like shit, and b) "does this mean I'm not asexual???", cue freakout. So I guess I just want to say: solidarity with you and your struggles.
  14. Sir Lancelop


    When everyone’s having relationship issues and you can’t relate, but also they’re asking you for advice and you have no idea how to help them or what to say.
  15. Yesterday
  16. SithGirl

    Your least favorite film and why?

    (Sorrt about the rant incoming...) If his goal was to piss off fans, then he succeeded. But it wasn't just "not make everything predictable" it was to throw things out of left field that didn't make sense. It was wasting time on a plotline that went nowhere. It was breaking universe rules making past events and actions seem pointless. For example, he opened the movie with a scene with the Resistance (later called the Rebels multiple times despite the fact that they'd still technically be on the side of the governing body, only because they're so lazy they can't even keep their clone of the OT recolored) staging an attack against a giant ship of the First Order. It's like Vader's star destroyer, I'm led to believe, in how huge and important it is. So Poe wants to take it out and takes an entire squad of bombers and fighters with him. These bombers were designed after WW2 era bombers, I believe (could be WW1, I'm bad with history) so are slow as f**k. They're sitting ducks against the First Order's forces and get decimated. People have said the Y-wings from the OT would be much better to use simply because of how defenseless these things are. Sure, they have a bigger bomb-carrying capacity, but it still takes an entire squadron of them to reach their single, huge-as-f*** target. Also they drop their bombs from right above the target, so it seems like they'd be doing suicide runs because they'd be too slow to get out of the blast radius in time. Also the opening scene is Poe doing a "Are you there? Can you hear me? Hello? Hello? Idiot says what?" joke to the enemy commanding general or admiral or whatever Hux's title is. You're probably not interested, but I love raging on stuff. MauLer on YouTube did a 3-part series breaking down all the problems in TLJ (each video is around 1.5 to 2 hours, so it's hilarious that his criticism is three times as long as the movie itself). He started a series for TFA but that may never finish because he's planning for it to be so much longer. He also begins his TFA breakdown with about 30-60 min talking about online reviewers and critics and how one can be objective when judging something and it's not all just opinion. So, there are problems.
  17. Back to Avalon

    I went to an LGBT group and it was helpful

    I'm sorry you're having those negative experiences here. Unfortunately, some people appoint themselves judge and jury of others' asexuality. If someone is harassing, insulting, or trying to invalidate you, be sure to report it to a moderator.
  18. Moony Lovegood

    Your least favorite film and why?

    @SithGirl I haven't seen The Last Jedi but I was told the director was trying to piss off fans by not just making everything predictable. That one sounds better but I just lost all interest in Star Wars after The Force Awakens.
  19. Greetings. I am so glad I found this site. A bit about me: Kansas born, SoCal raised in a time when sexuality was carefully monitored. Y'all know what i mean. I've had several girlfriends, sexual in nature. But only in my late teens did it mean anything to me. That was some 30+ years ago. On my second marriage now, trying to justify my feelings. Yes I love her, but no sex in seven years.
  20. Zagadka

    Your least favorite film and why?

    I don't know what the worst movie I've seen is, but the only film I've walked out of was W. I don't see many films in theaters, though, and I've seen worse films overall, I just don't remember them much.
  21. The person who wrote it was a user a few years ago. It is about recovery as a sexual after breaking up with an ace, if I recall.
  22. I agree. Such claims literally tell me to spend a crap ton of cash to get hormones checked, therapy, blood work done, etc. just to confirm that I indeed don't experience sexual attraction rather than am suffering from repressed trauma from my childhood or a hormone imbalance or side effects from drugs. It's horribly invalidating. "You can't be sure you're feeling what you're feeling until we have you tested. I don't have to be tested though. I'm normal. You're not."
  23. GhostGoesToWail


    Good design is dead. Long live good design.

    1. crazy ace

      crazy ace


  24. InquisitivePhilosopher

    Feedback for Staff Elections/Volunteering

    @.Lia Sure. I just like keeping an open mind to others' ideas/solutions.
  25. @SithGirl, indeed. Note, I'm only halfway through, so I don't have the whole picture yet. Thus far, the author does present as someone who has done more self-improvement than the average person, and he does present the asexual perspective in an informative manner empathetically and without blaming or vilifying. But, as the title of the book suggests it ultimately is a guide for how to heal after you end your relationship. He does suggest things can work out in a asexual-sexual relationship, but does prioritize sexual expression for the sexual. (The book is biased in that he did choose to end his relationship.) I'm reading it because I want to better understand my husband's experience. I think the book is important in that the author is shedding light on things not often understood or discussed. The book could have used some editing - while the author is clearly a loving person, he sometimes errs on the side of self-importance. I think it would be interesting for this author to co-write a book with an asexual author to bring better balance. We need more literature on asexuality so that no one book becomes authoritative. This book would have been better marketed as a memoir and not a self-help book. So far, the only thing I found somewhat offensive is his suggestion that all medical and psychological issues should be ruled out before claiming asexuality. He's not wrong because there is a distinction between asexuality and sexual dysfunction. But, this is a slippery slope; NO ONE should have to undergo scrutiny before being allowed to claim their sexual identity.
  26. TheAPparition

    Quickly, Before They See!

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