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  2. Iam9man


    Welcome! I’m involved in LGBTQ+ groups but AVEN is my favourite online resource and forum. I hope you enjoy your time here.
  3. Iam9man

    How Many Crushes?

    I went for 11-20, but this is just an estimate. I’d guess it’s around 10 (+/-2), although this depends how you define a crush. If it’s heart pounding intense level of attraction I’d say around 5.
  4. Skycaptain

    anyone past 50 on here?

    @AllThisTime, reading your comment about a discount for snow tyres made me giggle. In Britain, until into this decade, fitting winter tyres was considered a modification to your vehicle, and doing so could put your premium up, or, if you didn't tell your insurers, jeopardise a claim. Fortunately common sense now prevails.
  5. My participation in the latest election seems to have brought some emotions from some users, So i wonder should members like me that are friends with someone in the stuff be allowed to step in a election? Because i get what they mean about the unfair advantage. It is maybe time to add a new rule to prevent that. Like staff are not alowed to mention a member that is participating in any positive or negative light. under the whole process from headwear tossing to being elected. Or something similar.
  6. Iam9man

    How do you want to be buried?

    Honestly I couldn’t care less.
  7. Meowcap

    A little confused...

    Hello! Thank you, that all makes a lot more sense with the pictures! I guess I’m sex positive in that case
  8. kumiko_itoe

    Hello Again

    Sorry about that. My mind does rattle on. People were much more closed minded in the past and there was less light shed on different types of sexuality thus for Gen Y and Z, it is far more common. I'm glad you found a place where you belong (no sarcasm here. Am being sincere)
  9. Somebody on a similar wavelength to me, who is generally open to exploring the world and who tries to see the positive in people. A person open to compromise on frequency of sexual intimacy.
  10. Meowcap

    A little confused...

    Hello, thank you for your reply What you’re saying makes a lot of sense. I honestly can’t remember the last time I felt the urge to pursue anyone out of sexual attraction. It’s always been something else drawing me towards them. I definitely need to do more research and maybe talk about it to my girlfriend and see what she says too!
  11. Somebody that makes me feel happy, somebody I trust, somebody that energises me when I'm around them. Probably ace. I'm not fussy lol. Somebody to talk to would be good enough lol.
  12. Because lingerie is the topic of the thread? Why eat chicken for dinner when you could eat fish or spaghetti? Why watch a movie when you could read a book or listen to the radio? Why have coffee when you could have tea or cocoa? Why talk about the local news when you could talk about sports or the weather? Why not lingerie?
  13. Or just cancel it and stay as we were
  14. @someonejustme at some point, she migth already have reached the top level of friendship/relationship, while you dream of taking further steps. As aro/ace, there is not a goal about having intimate, close moments, where your love turns into a physical joyride or where you lose yourself and turn into a oneness. I reach out, every day and are met with a cold shoulder. We even have sex, but there is a tendency for it to be only for my sake, occasionally she enjoys the act, mostly she just likes to see me happy, but not to often.
  15. Meowcap

    A little confused...

    Thank you
  16. Charna


    Please elaborate, because I see no connection here. Someone's reproductive organs tell you exactly nothing about their sexual orientation.
  17. Iam9man


    Pues muchas gracias. Fui a una escuela española así que supongo que es casi una segunda lengua materna. Viví en la provincia de Alicante, pero llevo 20 años en Inglaterra así que se me está olvidando el español un poco. Me gusta Alemania. Tengo amigos en Hamburgo y he trabajado mucho con compañías del sur. Pues hablas muy bien para alguien que nunca haya estado en España. ¿Has visitado Latinoamérica?
  18. Today
  19. Hi there! There's a question to those of you who wish to have a partner inspired by another topic I just read I think my partner had to be ace as well. That would remove a lot of stress from the relationship, as I don't have particularly high libido, and I'm monogamous as well. I'm panromantic, so the gender of my partner doesn't matter. More important would be that we had some shared interests and about the same values in life. And I might want to have kids, but most probably never biological ones. My partner should be cool with that. Cool if they came with some kids ;D
  20. I am not guy but will still answer. For all PWPs What does it feel like to have a dangly bit in between? Usually it's just there and can get annoying sometimes Do you ever squash it when walking or sitting down? No How do you put on pants? Do pants hurt? Is the penis why sagging is a thing? Place the penis between the legs and pull the pants up How do you go to the bathroom? Open the door and go inside 😉. I usually sit down then. How do you shower? Wash myself with soap except for the part under the foreskin which gets sore by soap. There I use clear water How does it feel to not have boobs? Like something is missing Does the lack of purpose in regards to your nipples confuse you as well? They can give pleasure so there is a purpose What do you do if you get an erection at an inconvenient time? Try to ignore it and wait till it's over Does it hurt to run? No. If it hurts, it's my knees How do you ride a bike? Sitting on the saddle with my ass. Can you break it? Can happen. Luckily never to me. Should hurt like hell. For uncircumcised PWPs How do you clean the part under the foreskin? Clear water Does it hurt to pull the skin back? When it hurts something is wrong, like an infection. Is it stretchy? Yes How do you put on a condom? Squeeze the reservoir part and roll it down What happens to the foreskin when you get an erection? The tip of the glans is pushed out of it For asexual PWPs Can you still get an erection? Yes and it is uncomfortable especially when I am with a partner Do you still have wet dreams? What causes them? Not anymore How do you feel/view your penis? It's there . Often I don't care. However when being with a partner it is just in the way and if the partner wants to touch it it makes me really uncomfortable. What happens if you see your romantic but not sexual partner naked? I see a naked person. Feeling that they trust me. How is an orgasm different for you? I don't know. I only know how my orgasms feel and they are usually not from stimulating the penis For female PWPs I'll answer here too also I am more non binary than female How does it work? As I am not on HRT, probably not to much different then for cis men, except for the dysphoria I have around it. How do you view your penis? A piece of my body that has no real sexual function for me and sex would be much easier without getting erections. It's mostly just there and can get uncomfortable especially when it gets more sexual. How do you wear skirts? Like everyone else. Depending on how I feel. I put the penis in underpants like when wearing trousers or tucking it away with a gaffe when I am wearing a short skirt or feeling otherwise that the penis would be to visible or I just feel better when it is smooth down there
  21. Podsnap

    A Sentence Forming Game

    Annie needs you to help Iggy navigate Glasgow.
  22. Not a good idea imo, or at least it should be very much preferred by the one with high libido. Also, isn't libido your sex drive? Asexual person can have high libido as well, it's just not focused on anyone. I personally think I need to find an ace partner. I'm monogamous, and I don't have particularly high libido. I think it would be unfair to market myself to allosexuals, especially ones with high(er than mine) libido. I wouldn't even try, for the sake of both of us. I'm rather alone than with someone who isn't fully happy with me.
  23. ☆゚°˖* ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

    How come?

    It's even harder to explain to people how one can be ace and also gay/bi/pan etc. because of split attraction.
  24. MrDane

    Relating with sexuals

    “Do you want cake?” Usually means: “do you want to taste and eat cake?” if someone just wants to show you a picture of a cake, then it would be nice to know, before your mouth starts watering. I think, that some asexuals forget, that they are a minority and that it could be a good idea to become aware of what is going on amongst the majority. It is still perfectly okay to he asexual, but also to expect things to be normal.
  25. naakka


    Exactly. My motivation to reply for people like this is the chance that some bystander will read our conversation and learn something. And it's my hobby to trick bad-mouthed trolls into civilisized and argumented conversations without them even realizing it lol xD
  26. Nowhere Girl

    If I have no libido, can I really know I’m asexual?

    Still, there is a difference between someone's libido dropping and it having never been there in the first place. In this case I agree with @Philip027 - if someone has really no libido whatsoever, it would make them asexual by default. Sure, there is place for considering details, such as differentiating between low libido and no libido, or - assuming it already exists - between a more typical "sexual" libido and an "asexual" libido which still doesn't translate into any desire for partnered sex. But libido is the most basic level of sexuality. As we can see on the example of libidoist asexuals, attraction and desire don't have to grow out of it. But if there is no libido, there is also no basis for arousal, attraction and desire, neither of them should be able to develop. Given how libido doesn't have to lead to desire, but desire or even arousal won't develop in the absence of libido - it's probably not a good idea for someone with zero libido to have sex. It will most likely be uncomfortable for such a person. For men some forms of sex may turn out to be quite impossible if there's no arousal to begin with, but also for women sex without arousal is likely to be physically unpleasant. As far as I know, viagra only works on the "plumbing", not on libido. (Which is also, by the way, why drugs like flibanserin, which are genuinely risky and can only contribute to pathologisation of asexuality, shouldn't be called "female viagra" because they have an entirely different mode of action.)
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