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  2. Hi. I came out as ace about five years ago. I’m 52 and in my first real relationship that feels authentic. My gf is allo but extremely accepting. Our relationship has been great for a while but now we are having some issues around her alcoholism and I don’t know if I can keep tolerating it. I’m thinking about breaking it off but part of me wants to just deal with the drinking because I feel lucky to have this relationship at all as an asexual. I feel like no one else would put up with not having sex. And anyway, it’s impossible to find other aces (or allos
  3. Anomaly Q3Xr

    Red, Green, Blue, RAINBOW GOATS!

    Red Two joins, taking command of the second ship.
  4. Pack-rat

    Red, Green, Blue, RAINBOW GOATS!

    Red one led a mutiny, and now has 2 pirate ships.
  5. It definitely is important to talk about being on the ace spectrum early anyway, so I don't think it's an issue to list it, especially because dating sites often do have sexual expectations, though generally women have less than men, it's not like sex is important to everyone, and personally I'd rather meet people live than on dating sites. Maybe there's groups that interest you. Though I guess you were already interested in kinks. Which if you're fine with then i guess it's a thing. Personally I wouldn't feel comfortable in places like that. Everyone I know doesn't care about viruses anymore,
  6. LeChat

    Hi, I'm new here

    @Wendi1218 Hello, Wendi. Welcome! [an overhead view of vanilla and light brown cupcakes decorated as brown dogs' and white cats' heads (the former have a bit of their tongues sticking out; the latter have a bit of brown circles near their eyes). Three are on one, light blue plate; two cats are on a gray plate, and one dog cupcake is on the top left corner on a rack. There's a small cupcake liner with pink heart candy (for noses) and eyes.]
  7. I guess my answer to the romance question is trust, as well as living together. That's the ideal. You know where you are with family, whereas it's often less clear with friends. In practice, that means knowing your partner well enough that you don't trust them. 😀 Or rather, don't trust their abilities. But you can mostly predict them, and know their heart is in the right place. At least that's what I've observed from the couples I know best.
  8. Yesterday
  9. Well as I said the kink "scene" might be a useful resource for me if there wasn't an airborne pandemic. But mostly for mutual validation and for friendly non-sexual play, in what I thought (in retrospect possibly wrongly) was a relatively safe environment. Age is a factor in the sociology. Most likely I'll get socializing from work and campaigning. But most likely if I had to date it would be via online dating sites, for a larger pool of potential people. I'm not really sure about my romantic orientation. If I wanted to make a long-term public commitment, I'd take advan
  10. fantastic mx. foxglove

    Red, Green, Blue, RAINBOW GOATS!

    Got captured by rival pirates (red 0)
  11. fantastic mx. foxglove

    Are you a Planner or a "Pantser" when it comes to writing

    When I start writing, I know the beginning, the end, and some important plot points or things I want to have happen in between. The rest I just make up when I get there I've tried lots of different kinds of planning and plotting for stories, but I know enough about my writing style now to know that that doesn't work for me
  12. LeChat

    Hello everyone!!

    Hello, Opal. Welcome! [a pic of a two-tiered, white cake with black music bars and notes all around the sides, topped with a laid down red and black microphone.]
  13. I guess what I'm wondering is.. yes sexual compatibility is important but you do get to know someone through dating. I'm not sure why go the sexual or kink route, where you probably would have a harder time finding someone romantically compatible, when I assume romance is more important to you. Or do you only care about living together and not romance itself? But yeah I would think exploring kink first would be complicated and make it harder to find a partner, at least that's just my first impression. As for trust, it'd be the same in my mind as in personally I would not try to fin
  14. fantastic mx. foxglove

    Quickly, Before They See!

    30! Next person gets to pick
  15. Well, mainly because it's the elephant in the room. Romance - which I'm not sure I fully understand either, but let's use it in the sense of wanting to live with somebody - generally isn't even possible if you're not sexually compatible. When I did attend dungeons I never did anything sexual, and I only witnessed sex twice. Kink without sex is a real possibility - in theory. In practice, less so. Sexual abuse of rope bunnies (bottoms) in particular is apparently extremely common. And more vanilla people see sex as implied by kink. And may hold that line - and conceivabl
  16. It's a lot of thinking about scenarios xD. You don't know where things will go, but if you don't think you'll ever want genetic children then yeah sure, it's your body so you can do the operation. I think you should take time to think on it and not just come from worry, since big decisions deserve more than that, but that said if it's not a big deal or you think eventually you'd be fine with adoption then it might not be a big decision for you, I don't know. I feel like there's more going on than just that, and I wonder if you currently have access to a therapist that coud help sort some
  17. A+ thread title and excellent post. As far as advice, I have been in similar situations but also with growing up fat and being made to feel undesirable well before I knew what I want (or don't want, as an aro ace), which also added a sense of accomplishment when I did get this kind of attention. However! I have mostly grown past that in the past five or so years, and one of my biggest pieces of advice on that is genuinely: shitposting and memes. AVEN has been an overall great space for engaging with people without those pretexts; that combined with my jesterly disposition has helpe
  18. Synchronicity

    Questions about trying a new name

    I changed my name by deed poll in 2017. The only people I meet who know my dead name are my family and my best friend, and they use the new one, thank goodness (although my mother has been a bit awkward about it). I just hated my birth name so much that it came easily to use a new one. I waited until I found one that had an appropriate meaning and the right initial letter. 😃
  19. Yeah. There are a bunch of issues, mostly mixed up with anxiety. I was going to delete it, but thanks! While I've claimed "grey asexual" for a few years now, there may still be some "am I a broken horse or a healthy zebra?". Mostly it comes down to whether I'm prepared to live on my own long term, and what the alternatives are. Last time it led to an anxiety crisis that was only really resolved by the pandemic. But I'll have to move out again for another job, and in any case my parents won't outlive me. But perhaps that is circular logic given some of the issues in the
  20. The above was a party political broadcast on behalf of the UK Hamster Freedom Party.
  21. Aceade

    Replace a word with pickle

    The position of Annoying Talking Pickle is already taken!
  22. Frameshift07

    Hello everyone!!

    Welcome aboard o7 Discovering the aroace spectra answered a lot of questions I had about myself, I hope you have a fruitful journey here!
  23. bare_trees

    Car colour

    It's purple, but it's such a dark shade that most people think it's black.
  24. bare_trees

    Counting money after its out of ATM

    I always count, just in case. I wish I never needed to go to one, but still need cash for some things.
  25. Wendi1218

    Hi, I'm new here

    A little of everything. Mostly I just collect craft supplies with good intentions. Lol
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