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  2. That doesn't really sound like a failure to understand tbh. They don't appear to believe you at all, otherwise they wouldn't have come up with the "lying" line. The other ones are decent starting points for an explanation, but oooft. Usually their own sexuality works quite well. A hetero person might get it if you tell them "You know how you feel towards people of your own gender? That's how I feel towards everyone." Food analogies work well, too. You know how we have to pay attention not to binge on potato chips when we watch TV? That's celibacy. You know how you hate this food item and if someone told you that you could never have it again, you'd say "Okay, cool, whatever, shrug?"
  3. Newperson

    hello, here is a bit of my story

    Hello 😀 I joined yesterday and I'm so grateful to everyone who has posted their experiences on here, so many things have just 'clicked' with me - too many to describe! So I'll just go with my very first experience of being 'strange', which was when I was 16 years old. A close school friend had a religious uncle, which was how we came to visit an evangelical college and become born again Christians. Of all the new rules we now had to follow, I latched onto the one about 'no sex before marriage', and I realise now that this had less to do with religious fervour than with my own inclinations (I wasn't so committed to the 'no alcohol' rule, for example). On a camping trip the year after our conversion, this friend was talking to me about some boy who fancied her, with undisguised glee. And I realised at this moment that my reaction on hearing that someone fancied me was the complete opposite - I would feel a kind of dread, that I could no longer behave normally around them, that they might expect something from me that I knew I was incapable of giving; that they were basically ruining my enjoyment of their company. I didn't look forward to growing older and having relationships - I wanted to go back to the relaxed times of my childhood when nobody ever thought about this stuff. These were the days before the internet, so - being religious at the time - the only place I could enquire about this was internally, in my prayers. 'Why am I like this, God? Why am I not normal about boys?'I asked. Something extremely weird happened, which I've thought about often since, and never managed to properly describe - basically, a memory came into my head, which was a bit of a shock to me, and which I took then as an explanation for my (lack of) feelings. I told people about the memory, and from then on used it as an excuse in any potential encounter with the opposite sex - as in, I want to be with you but not in a sexual way because I have this past trauma from my childhood. Nobody believed it, everyone thought I was making it up for attention, and I developed a reputation for being attention seeking and manipulative amongst these school friends. Although I absolutely was telling the truth about the memory (and the memory itself was true: years later I checked it out with my parents. It was relatively minor and it had all come to light at the time). So, I wasn't lying about the facts, but those facts had nothing to do with why I didn't want a sexual relationship and maybe that's why it came across as all fake. Fast forward about 30 years, I'm no longer religious and only recently abandoned these old school friends! I have lived a lie, without realising it. I have a child, I've been married, and often felt as if I had somehow ended up in the wrong life without knowing why I felt like this. I am grateful that I got to be a mother, but now my child is 17 maybe this is my time, to start basing my life on the firm foundation that can come from knowing and understanding who I am. I've been single and celibate for over 5 years now, I'm a little lonely but so glad I discovered this before I made any more stupid mistakes in life . A few weeks back, I went for lunch with some friends and one of them said 'I was listening to a Radio 4 programme about asexuality. Apparently most people think about sex every 7 seconds..' She was looking directly at me when she said this, and I gave what I now know to be a classic asexual response: 'That's ridiculous! How on earth would you have the time to think about it that much?!' - This weekend, having a little bit of spare time, I decided to google the word asexual and see if I could find this broadcast. Now I realise that - even after all these years - I'm fooling nobody. My friends could always see I wasn't being honest, and finally, so can I. Thank you for reading this 😀 (if you made it through to the end!).
  4. Blit

    Blit

    I think someone may have gotten on my account last night 😳

  5. Crazycrazycultist

    Autosuggest nonsense thread

    Be careful with your letter to your doctor!
  6. The Angel of Eternity

    How to explain asexuality to an allosexual

    If someone asked me how I knew I didn't want sex if I've never tried it, I would proceed o ask them how they knew they didn't like the taste of their own feces if they've never tried it (assuming they don't like to eat feces and assuming they've never tried it). In reality, I know I wouldn't want to eat my own feces because of the smell (and other things) -- that would help me realize I wouldn't want to eat it. It's the same with sex. The "smell" of sex makes me realize I don't want to "eat" it.
  7. Acefandom103

    Autosuggest nonsense thread

    F is the largest size of a dime and a half hours of sleep and then you can microwave it in the morning when I get home and then I will send Michael and I are you on your way with the branch of the military and a and I can't find the right please let me know they have a seizure email me the address to the place that I can do it for you.
  8. Acefandom103

    The Lost Sexuality Game

    Never make a deal with a fairy. What do you mean you lost your sexuality while watching the live action grinch movie?!
  9. TheAP

    A Sentence Forming Game

    Every dog is barking loudly, exactly synchronized.
  10. Aebt

    Am I Asexual? Please Help

    Could elaborate on that? According to the AVEN wiki "Sexual attraction is an emotional response sexual people feel where they find someone sexually appealing, and often results in a desire for sexual contact with the person." Sexual attraction, using the definition AVEN uses, means one is sexual, not asexual. One can chose to manifest that desire or not, but according to the AVEN wiki that would preclude those people from being asexual. Certainly that is a possibility, and I would in no way doubt that to be the case for some, but 5% seems like an awfully high number. 1.5% was what Kinsey grouped into group X, which includes Asexuals and a few other groups. For all the studies on human sexuality I find the lack of studies on Asexuality hard to comprehend if the number was truly more than 1 or 2 percent. I have found no studies that support a larger number than somewhere between 1-2%, on top of the fact it would throw out all sorts of other studies out of sync. 1% is statistically nothing and can be ignored or merely an error, 5% however is much larger and cannot be ignored nor instantly discounted as a statistical error, if the number is 5% then many studies would be instantly proven wrong, I find it hard to reason that such a large number remained ignored/invisible for so long.
  11. timewarp

    Around what year were you born?

    I will be born 2341. If my calculations are correct I must be around 60 earth years.
  12. Homer

    a-spec flag concept

    Oh, wait a second. @eorion, do you mean "aspec" as in all the different "a"s there are? That would be a lot of completely different things put together. I wonder if there's a lot of common ground to start from.
  13. Ringmaster04

    How to explain asexuality to an allosexual

    I've often framed it in terms of seeing / meeting an attractive person at a club / bar and asking my friend whether he's ever pictured himself having sex with that person or maybe he's even talked to them with the thought that "maybe we hit it off and something develops, but more likely I just get invited back to her place". That's not a thought I've ever had and to me, that's the manifestation of sexual attraction. My friend got it right away because after initially getting defensive and saying "no, I think a lot about the romantic stuff too" I explained to him that you can think about both, but if the possibility of just going to her place for a one night stand is in your head and you're okay with or excited about it, that's the difference. I've also used watching porn as a framing mechanism. I'm fairly sex repulsed, so after consuming enough porn to firmly nail down my orientation, I stopped entirely, but I confirmed with a couple friends that when they watch porn, they kinda picture themselves in the position of one of the participants. So while I'm just wondering when the guy is put his clothes back on and fix the goddamn refrigerator, they're fully engaged in the scene as if they were the repairman. This worked fairly well despite some initial denials from them. The harder part was explaining arousal. Still perfecting that one, but I usually just say that the things I like are still the things I like and my body is going to react to them, but if it goes too far down a sexual path, my brain tries to get away from it and my body isn't far behind.
  14. LemonCupcakes

    Teen Corner

    So far, I’m in choir and drama/theatre! I wanted to do more, but I didn’t have enough time considering my timetable is pretty full already 😅 Well, in my experience, uni exams are more intense/difficult/time-consuming than in high school, but it’s all doable. I don’t know how it is in the US, though, since I think you guys have a very different system to where I live (Germany). (And it probably also depends on what you’re studying and whether your classes are more essay-based or exam-based, etc). To study, I mostly use my notes from throughout the year (and the power-points from the lectures) and work through them again. I also use home-made cue cards, study with friends, put various pieces of paper with things I need to remember on all my walls, and use exam papers from previous years as practice. I’ve never heard of Quizlet before, is it good?
  15. Lee ✧

    Body hair

    I used to not shave at all, mostly because I didn't need to, and because shaving is time-consuming and razors are expensive. Lately, though, I've had motivation to, and now I try to keep myself as bare as possible. I really, really don't have a problem with body hair, it's just that I've found I don't like it on me. I used to shave religiously, including around my bikini area, but then I started developing really bad razor burn, so I've cut back on it a bit. I've found moisturizing helps a lot.
  16. Celyn

    Autosuggest nonsense thread

    No worries if I could teleport to be able to collect the time and address I should be doing a snooze on the patio door to get a high score on my own creative commons.
  17. Nowhere Girl

    Am I Asexual? Please Help

    The real numer of asexuals is probably higher, rather around 5%. A counterproposal I could offer is that some people have taken romantic attraction for sexual attraction. Or, some consider "finding someone sexually attractive" to be sexual attraction, but still don't desire sex.
  18. Crazycrazycultist

    Autosuggest nonsense thread

    How can I send pictures to you?
  19. will123

    a-spec flag concept

    Other than the LGBT+ rainbow and asexuality flags, I'm only aware of the transgender one. And that only after seeing a sticker on a vehicle.
  20. will123

    anyone past 50 on here?

    It's called Tap in Canada. I dont use it very often. @Muledeer I dont think the readers (same unit as you would enter your PIN at are that sensitive. However (and the techies here can elaborate) that the nogoodniks have access to RFID readers that if they are in very close proximity to you and your wallet they can get your personal info. I know one person that took a hole punch to the little gold square on his credit card. I guess he has to swipe it to complete a transaction.
  21. will123

    Incredibly Ace Moments

    I bought a box of condoms and practiced putting one on when I was seeing a girl in my 30s before I was asexual. My thinking was if we ever had sex (never happened) I should display a modicum of knowledge about intercourse...
  22. Today
  23. TheAP

    Autosuggest nonsense thread

    Yard House of cards is on the way to the airport now and I will be there in a few minutes and I'll be there in the morning to get the kids to the park and ride at the church at the church
  24. Tunhope

    anyone past 50 on here?

    You have a new avatar @Muledeer Is it an animal that you see regularly? (What is it?) I read that keeping a card within a foil liner prevents that happening. You can buy card-size foil wallets online.
  25. The problem with religion-derived morality is that not only does it lead to issues like this, it is also usually a weaker argument. Dispelling the Kantian ethical view on abortion is much harder than dispelling a religious-based view, despite the fact they reach the same conclusions. Now dispelling is not the same as changing their mind, but it can be one step in the road to a real change in thinking. If people took more interest in debating others, or had more interest in philosophy in general, people may realize how many religion-based morality arguments do not stand up against attacking arguments. Personally I think a secular utopia would be great but I am practical so people can maintain their own religions as long as their beliefs do not interfere with me, and I will not interfere with their beliefs. People can, in religious contexts, believe what they they want to, as long as their actions do not interfere with others. But if they manifest those beliefs in a way that harms society then that is instantly problematic.
  26. Quacks

    Quacks

    My dad took me and my sister to a music store yesterday... I may have spent more than intended ,😅

    6BkkTwE.jpg

  27. Crazycrazycultist

    Autosuggest nonsense thread

    Just don't think about the next yard!
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