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  2. Strange-quark

    Red, Green, Blue, RAINBOW GOATS!

    g2
  3. Una Salus Victus

    Una Salus Victus

    damn youtube distracting me with "How to make X" videos.

  4. Lara Black

    im having sex with my non ace boyfriend

    Let’s go with this metaphor of having some physical disability and compensating for it. There’s a big difference between admitting that you have it (and need to compensate) and pretending you don’t have it at all. If you’re lying that your partner can make you come and that you enjoy sex with him, you’re basically going out of your way to pretend you have both legs – like going dancing and hiking despite the discomfort it causes you. It’s not that a caring partner would never make you do any of that if he knew how uncomfortable it made you feel... at least, if hiking was that important for him, he could take your condition into account – like let you rest more and so on. So what is your goal? For him to accept that you are different and to find a way how you can compensate for it, or for him to think that you “don’t have a disability”? (Disclaimer: I don’t consider asexuality to be any kind of disability, so here I’m only putting it this way to keep with the author’s metaphor.)
  5. SkyenAutowegCaptain

    Alphabetical "Better than sex" game

    Understanding is BTS
  6. SkyenAutowegCaptain

    Word association game

    Temple
  7. SkyenAutowegCaptain

    Red, Green, Blue, RAINBOW GOATS!

    Green 1
  8. SkyenAutowegCaptain

    The Banning Game!

    Banned for wanting us to recite the Dictionary of Welsh place names
  9. SkyenAutowegCaptain

    Quickly, Before They See!

    19
  10. kookielendmeyourcomb

    Hiya

    This is admittedly kind of a strange place to find myself but life happens, lmao. I'll try to make this as tl;dr as I can: I'm an 18 year-old gay FTM, been on HRT for four months and feel amazing mentally and emotionally. With that said though: Dysphoria over "front hole" isn't diminishing at all, probably will never diminish, and probably will never be able to afford SRS to fix that problem. I do not like anal sex at all. Odds of finding another sexual gay or bi male partner that is willing to accommodate my "no intercourse" boundary looks slim to none. Like most people, I still want some kind of romantic/intimate physical contact; I still want companionship. Seems like an asexual person or someone with a low libido would be an ideal partner; I want to get to know asexual people better since I may potentially seek one out as a partner, hence I am here. I've never been asexual, but I think I can kinda empathize with them in an odd way; My gender dysphoria used to be so severe that when I hit puberty my libido and was so nonexistent and my disinterest in ever kissing anybody was so bad I was initially worried that I was asexual. But then when I realized that I was fine being in a sexual relationship with my body being a man's body I found out I wasn't. Thanks for reading; Hope to make some pals on here, C.
  11. Today
  12. noahkurt25

    hi, my name is Jay and i would rather cuddle

    hi!! i saw u like the post i just made,,, is there a way we could chat bc as u might know, i am confused too & this causes problems in my relationship too :(( i know im a lot younger than you but if youd like to discuss, as 2 people who are both confused,,, id be really glad :'))
  13. Hello, i'm new to this forum (i just introduced myself) and i already have the first question. I talked to someone (allo) and he said that if he looks at his male parts like his penis or his body in general, and touches it or smth, that this can have the same effect on him as if he was watching a porn. Like, that his own body makes him feel aroused. I couldn't relate to that at all. I touch my female parts a lot, specially my boobs, i just like how they feel and their shape. But i never ever think of my own body as something sexual, and frankly i don't like the thought. I wonder, is that really something people experince? Just wanted to put that in here, have a good day!
  14. Hello, Im 18 years old, nearly 19 and I have been with my boyfriend for 13 months, so a little over a year. To cut to the chase, our sex life has been crap and for a while now i have toyed with the "am i asexual" question. In the past, i went through something and ended up as almost identifying as aromantic for a bit. might this be a similar situation where i just "havent gotten used to sex" ? to provide context: this is stupid and embarrassing but ive always considered myself really sexual, basically horny lmao, indulged the FUCK out of smutfics and shit when i was younger (14-16ish) alllways thought i was kinky, all that good stuff. i remember thinking "i cant wait to have a boyfriend/husband so i can FUCK whenever i want" (ew wtf @ myself) anyways i think u get what im trying to say. i have always looked forward to & loved the idea of sex. Flash forward to recent times. basically, i dont... want to be having sex? its almost as if i literally have no inclination to be doing it? and when i AM doing it (rarely) , it doesnt even even feel good? it feels more uncomfortable,, ticklish almost, and mostly, i just want it to stop. i still have intense erotic fantasies though and even super vivid dreams where i can physically feel it, and it feels GOOD, damn. i want the enthusiasm i have in my dreams, and imagination to come to life. i WANT to enjoy sex and shit. but when it comes down to it, i just- nope. I always tried to tell myself, maybe im just not in the mood. but im NEVER in the mood, at least not in reality. when i was younger i did try to masturbate but i never felt pleasure from it, and i just assumed i was doing it wrong. sometimes when i lie n bed and fantasise about things, the pleasure (physically and mentally WITHOUT actually touching myself) that i get from literally my imagination, feels better than whatever "sex" ive had in the past. when my friends talk abt how they have sex like at LEAST once a week, i feel myself not relating. along with any other sexual stories they have. i feel embarrassed and do not admit that my boyfriend and i barely have sex. my bf insists that if i never wanted to have sex ever again, he'd be fine with it. and we've talked about it so many times and bc i DO want to feel passionate about sex, i agreed would "try" (how the fuck do you even "try" at sex) but even TRYING is so hard bc i plain just never want to do it!!! should i just bite the bullet and force myself (has NOTHING to do with my bf, this is just ME genuinely wanting to enjoy sex) to have more sex? and maybe ill get used to it and finally start to enjoy it? another thing i wanna add is even things like making out,, i find myself not liking,, i also physically push my bf away alot when he's trying to kiss me and stuff like that. i mean KISSING is fine but when its like making out, i find myself either pushing him away or turning my head so he cant reach my mouth.. whats THAT about,, why do i not like it. i also push away any other advances, like move his hands away when theyre going too low ect. idek i feel like i get flustered and then panic and AH go away! kinda thing. a big reason i dont think im asexual is bc i WANT to have & enjoy sex but i feel like something in my body isnt working right and so it really seems more like a dumb chore rather than smth enjoyable so my questions are: is this a phase? why do my fantasies bring me more pleasure than actual sex? can asexuals enjoy and want sex in THEORY but not irl? so asexuals have sexual fantasies? IM SO SO SORRY THIS IS SO LONG IM JUST SO CONFUSED AND WILL APPRECIATE ANY OPINIONS/ ADVICE ON THS
  15. Pan Ficto. (on hiatus?)

    im having sex with my non ace boyfriend

    Yeah it's a bit different if your ace partner discussed their asexuality with you first and said they want to try to sex as a compromise etc, then the sexual can still try it to see if they enjoy it but that's on BOTH partner's terms. But when the sexual person has no choice in the matter and is unknowingly having sex with someone who doesn't want or enjoy it... I mean, urgh, I can totally see how a sexual could interpret it as a form of 'unknowing rape' (even if that's not actually what it is, it can still *feel* that way for the sexual who finds out they were having sex with someone who doesn't desire or enjoy the sex. It's a very deep, very hurtful betrayal) :c
  16. Solitary Lotus

    im having sex with my non ace boyfriend

    So it sounds like you’re having some codependency issues with your boyfriend. You feel like you have to lie to him about sex because you believe if you don’t lie he’ll cheat on you. Look, if you two do have a strong relationship like you say and you tell him, I’m sure he’ll understand (please apologize for lying though); you two can have a conversation about how you want to move on from here. If he tells you that he needs to have sex to maintain a healthy relationship then you should break up. Then again he may say that he still wants to be with you even if he can’t have sex with you (yay, that would be great). Though, if you choose to continue to lie you’ll be hurting yourself and him. Yourself by repressing who you truly are and him by not giving him the chance to see the real you. No one wants to date a facade. So please tell him the truth.
  17. iwouldrathercuddle

    hi, my name is Jay and i would rather cuddle

    This summs it up, pretty much. Hi there. As many i am currently discovering my sexuality (25f, it's never too late right?) and i'm fairly new to the topic of asexuality. I first thought about it about a year ago, things got urgent and now i've spent the last 2 days nonstop reading all kinds of forums, info and watching youtube videos regarding asexuality. Wich does not mean i am not confused anymore, so i'd like to introduce myself to this forum and maybe engage in some conversations. I am in a longterm relationship (6 years) with an allo male. Before i met him (when i was 18) i've had several male sex partners (and one girlfriend for a year). My thinking of sex was pretty weird tho. I just thought that's something you are supposed to do in a relationship. And since i fell in love all the time i pretty much spend my whole young life thinking i'd have to have sex with someone. I am able to feel aroused so this wasn't really an issue for me. Specially when i meet someone new i find it exciting to explore their body and my emotions go crazy which kind of always came with this kind of arousal for me. This never lasted long and the only reason i kept having sex with my partner was because i thought i should. It was never really fun for me. Mostly, IF i feel aroused, which does not happen very often, it feels fairly good for about 5 minutes and then goes down to neutral at best.I find it boring. I've never had orgasms during sex. I masturbate every other month or so. When i met my current partner things went a little different because he is geourgeous and smart and cares about me very much. I quickly discovered that indeed i do not have to have sex in a relationship and from this point i pretty much stopped initiating it. For years i thought that that's just because i kind of never gave myself the choice before and i never asked myself what I liked, i just wanted to please my partner. So i thought i'd stop for a while, enjoy that i don't have to, figure out what i like and develop a sexual identity. Did not happen. I tried to "extend" masturbation sessions but tbh it's just something i want to get over it. Yes, it think orgasms feel good. But would i miss them? Not a chance. So for like 3-4 years now my boyfriend and i have been having sex once a month, sometimes every two months. The reason for that is not that i want sex once a month but i know HE wants it. And this is kind of the problem. He needs sexual attention, it's important to him. He is wondering why i do not want him, he is hurt and misses the confirmation. I took SO LONG to realize that he is serious and that he can't "just fap instead" (sure he can and he does but it's not the same) and we've had several fights because he didn't feel like his feelings where valid (which they indeed weren't to me ). But i get it now. He is not pressuring me at all tho, ofc not. He came up with asexuality in the first place and he would be willing to discuss pretty much every option and compromise there is for me. I am not ready for that tho, i am still figuring out what is going on with me. So i do feel sometimes arousal in my body. I don't feel the need to act somehow because of that, like i rarely masturbate and lol i would never go out and find someone to have sex with because of that. This is SO low priority for me i wouldn't even mention it. I've noticed that i don't feel comfortable with people having sex in movies, while others feel comfortable or even aroused watching movies or shows and there's a love story and sometimes the characters get close to each other in a sexual way. I've also noticed that i almost never think about people i see in a sexual way. I find them beautiful and sometimes i would want to touch their bodies but never in a sexual way. I've had a crush on someone for over 9 years, like a super hard crush (we were friends) and i daydreamed about him ALL THE TIME. Yesterday i noticed that i never, not even once pictured him naked or imagined to have sex with him. I imaged all kinds of stuff but the most physical imagination was us kissing. I like to kiss and cuddle very much. I would say, i NEED physical contact to feel appreciated and to make sure someone likes/ loves me. All of that being said, i am now thinking about what the fuck i am. I'll take my time tho. I am already relieved because i've learned that some people are not as interested in sexual activities as others and that that's OKAY. IDK what to do with me and my partner tho. That's an open question. We can't go on like this, he is just suffering a lot while i kind of don't even notice that something is missing. Thank you for reading this far.
  18. Thanks to everyone for replying and taking the poll. I just wanted to create this poll to see how my feelings related to everyone else on the topic. Even though I am not brave enough to say I want to tell the whole world that I am for the most part an asexual person or a mix of demi and ace, even though I feel like for me its just too personal, I was actually uplifted to see that many people on here are proud to just wear it on their sleeves.
  19. Rhyme

    #AsexualProblems

    I just answered automatically, as I tend to do when the answer to a question is easy
  20. Philip027

    im having sex with my non ace boyfriend

    I've heard a lot of sexuals here on this very site claim that it felt like they had been unknowingly raping their partners. (Which isn't always the case with an asexual partner; they can potentially still consent to sex -- but that doesn't necessarily stop the icky feelings when party A finally realizes party B wasn't as into it as party A thought they were.)
  21. neverlove

    your pet hates for profiles on dating apps

    That clear boundary never prevented my sex education. Do not conflate healthy boundaries and sexual repression. They are not the same. I have an issue with a mother and grandmother taking kids to liaison for an incestuous menage a trois. The world over this is abhorrent. Rather than judging them, it would be more accurate to say this evokes a visceral disgust. I object to how your responses would paint me as over-reacting, judgmental and suppressing sex education. I do not believe in with-holding information about sex anymore than I believe in drowning kids in sexual stimuli. This was inappropriate, plain and simple, so I resent your implications.
  22. Ice_scare

    Quickly, Before They See!

    18
  23. Sally

    Ascension to 5D New Earth

    I wonder too. Does that mean you don't have to pee or excrete?
  24. SamTheSheep

    Tea!

    Going to be honest, I only have black tea. I tried a kind of fruity tea one time, but it tasted like warmed fruit juice, and I didn’t like it. My dad drinks green tea, and my mum buys loads of different kinds, so I might try some of that.
  25. If you want sex, a priori you're not asexual.
  26. SamTheSheep

    Favourite book/s?

    I could be here all day, but here’s a few Three Dark Crowns by Kendare Blake Harry Potter by J.K Rowling Time Riders by Alex Scarrow The Taming of the Queen by Philipa Gregory (it’s a historical novel about Katheryn Parr) And then there’s like a hundred others.
  27. timewarp

    The Banning Game!

    Banned for not at least trying to pronounce them.
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