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  2. Philip027

    Demiromantic or heteroromantic?

    Demi describes a particular kind of greyness that happens to be common enough for people to think it deserves its own name. As someone for whom that part of their identity is very important... well, I suppose it's harder for people who experience attraction "normally" to understand.
  3. PoeciMeta

    A(gender)vengers Assemble!

    .... Ah... sorry about that? XD We just started chatting randomly and we got carried away. Just for Fun is a more appropriate place to do that XD We have some shad cake there if you want to drop by :3
  4. Star Lion

    Demiromantic or heteroromantic?

    I second this as of recently. I don’t find the point for labels like this if we already have grayromantic/graysexual
  5. Maybe a mention of aromanticism + a link to a page on that would be good to add to this page. I know it's not the same thing, but that's still our sister community, and many conflate the two. Other than that, this seems like a good introduction Maybe add 'being pressured to fix what is supposedly wrong with them, either medically, or through unwanted sexual activity' in here. It's not a pleasant thing to add, but that is reality. I've had both these things happen to me. Oh I missed that one, but yes I agree with you. Sapio attraction can be considered classist by some. Also, I think sapio attraction is still sexual or romantic in nature, right? It's not really separate from that. It would sooner belong in the list of homo/hetero/poly/pan/bi/sapio than in the list sexual/romantic/aesthetic/sapio. It is not a mode of attraction, but who you are attracted to. And it's controversial on top of that, so yeah, I'd leave it out, personally.
  6. This is worded oddly imho. It sounds like it's saying "sexual attraction to agendered people" in a poor way. Perhaps phrasing it like "No sexual attraction to any gender"? I'm just not a fan of this idea of sapio attraction. I don't think it should be included imho. I thought "ace" was very common... Very good information! I really like how you linked it to the larger LGBTQ+ umbrella throughout. Nice work! 🙂🍰
  7. Nowhere Girl

    Demiromantic or heteroromantic?

    But of course it's possible to be both. I have just been reading a text on demisexuality, linked at this forum, so let me quote something: The way I understand demiromanticism, it's too about the way a person experiences romantic attraction, not who they can be attracted to. A demiromantic person typically doesn't experience spontaneous crushes on people they don't know well, doesn't fall in love quickly. They need another kind of bond before romantic attraction happens - for example, they may be more likely to fall in love with their friends. But it doesn't in any way exclude gender preferences. A demiromantic person may fall in love in a way described above, but be only able to fall in love with people of a certain gender. So a person can be demi-homoromantic, demi-heteroromantic, demi-biromantic and so on. (Or demi-gyneromantic, demi-androromantic and so on - because particularly non-binary, androgynous, agender people don't fit well into the most accepted "same sex / different sex" framework.) I'm somewhere close to this. I can't develop feelings for a person quickly. But I tend to be homoromantic because I develop bonds of trust only with women, the very idea of being in a relationship with a man feels very uncomfortable to me (even if it was an entirely non-sexual relationship - and in fact it's the only option I could accept, I'm too sex-averse for "sexual compromise"). Still, I have never been able to establish a mutual romantic bond...
  8. CBC

    Demiromantic or heteroromantic?

    Personally I question the need for the term 'demiromantic' (or 'demisexual'). But putting that debate aside for the time being, no, gender has nothing to do with it. You can be demi-whatever and attracted to one gender, both of the two most common gender identities (male and female), non-binary people, whatever.
  9. Star Lion

    Demiromantic or heteroromantic?

    You can demiheteromantic. Demi describes situation while hetero describes genders
  10. Maybe by "ace spectrum" some people trying to say it's part of the "ace community"? Poor word choice either way, sure.
  11. Firefly8

    Game of Thrones! [spoilers, probably]

    1) Favourite character(s)? Jon or Sam. Everyone else is starting to annoy me. 2) Have you read the books? No, I stick with the classics and have a long list of those books I have yet to read 3) Which house do you belong in? I'd be chillin' in Braavos. Westerose house would probably be Reed. 4) Who's going to end up on the Iron Throne? Is there even going to be one at the end? No Iron Throne in the end, no magic in the end, only democracy will reign
  12. Hey, I'm pretty new to all of this but I know 1 thing for sure I'm asexual. Now my question is if you're demiromantic is it only to 1 gender/sex or is it both genders? I know that if you're demiromantic that you aren't romantically attracted to someone until there's a bond between you 2. But does that count for both genders or not? That why I'm questioning if I might be demiromantic, cause right now I think I'm heteroromantic. Thanks for everyone that answers! ❤
  13. Podsnap

    A Sentence Forming Game

    Start painting Lauren's entire nipple dark indigo, Dora.
  14. Celyn

    Trans Moments?

    I want a beard. I don't want a beard. My body seems to think growing 2 beard hairs is a workable compromise.
  15. If I may ask, @Zap... I assume since you've struggled for the length of time that you have and have been significantly unwell, you must have seen various mental health professionals? Have you ever discussed any of this with them? No judgement if you haven't, btw; I almost never brought up anything of the sort until my most recent therapist. In my late 20s I came across a photocopy of a clinical assessment made by a psychiatrist I saw for about six months in 2004 (surprise, the year I joined AVEN). He made me sound like a frigid emotionless bitch with zero insight into myself. Probably because every appointment consisted of him sitting there and looking at me, silently waiting for me to talk, as if 19-year-old girls are just dying to tell 60-year-old men that they're deeply ashamed of even needing basic human necessities, have no self-worth that would allow them to think anyone may actually like and value -- let alone love -- who they are, and actually desperately want human connection. It wasn't until just under a year ago that I actually had honest discussions with a mental health professional about my sexuality -- and even then, it was primarily out of absolute necessity in order for her to be aware my significant current stressors and fears, and to understand my connections to the people in my life. I talk fairly openly about such things here on AVEN, but I'm otherwise quite private about my relationships. Um anyway, that was a bit long-winded haha, and all in aid of wondering if you've ever had the opportunity to talk to anyone about this subject.
  16. Today
  17. Anthracite_Impreza

    Is this sketchy? [advice please]

    Definitely dodge, avoid it.
  18. Omega the Shadow

    Change one letter (5 letters edition)

  19. becc


    I love sitting on my ass for 12 hours a day staring into a computer screen typing the same stuff over and over and slowly ruining my wrists because of the mouse 🙃🙃 yup 

  20. Omega the Shadow

    Alphabetical "Better than sex" game

    Zeal is better than sex.
  21. Satsuriku_No_Tenshi

    What if you dont like cake?

    When I was working in a café, I ate so much cake. They gave away slices to staff at the end of the day, and I got to a stage when I started to dislike it. So now, I don't see cakes as special. I'm bored of cakes
  22. Nowhere Girl

    touch aversion and asexuality

    I'm a little touch-averse. I generally dislike touching anyone or being touched, when I meet my friends, there is typically no physical contact between us. Not even a handshake - why should I feel obligated to it if I can express welcoming through words? (Generally, language is my absolutely preferred way of interacting with the world. If we include all possible texts which can be read - not only books, but also printed and online media, dialogues in games, texts to translate etc. - then I am certain that I have spent much more time in my life reading than doing anything else.) Still, there is one exception: since childhood I have enjoyed having my back stroked. However, my mom doesn't agree to do it anymore and I would be too embarassed to ask a friend to do it. I have a difficult relationship with my body. I have suffered from a non-life-threatening chronic illness - allergy - almost all my life. It's enough to really hamper a person's life - I always feel itching, all the time, it obstructs my sleep (and I have an absolute sleeping-pill-phobia, they are very harmful and I will never take any sedatives stronger than teas made of herbs such as lavender, hops, lemon balm). All attempts at treatment - and there have been several - have been unsuccesful, the most I'm able to do is alleviate symptoms. Allergy is always visible on the surface of my skin - the last time I have had unscratched skin was probably about 35 years ago. I have also been overweight most of my life (my height, unchanged since the age of 13: 163 cm, my maximum weight according to my mom: 95 kg. I haven't weighed myself while looking at the scale for many years ). Now I have lost quite much weight. I like the fact that I now fit in several pairs of pants which have been too small, I like the fact that my boobs have become smaller (they are now extremely sagging and it's not comfortable. However, I still don't care very much about it: nobody sees them anyway), but still I don't like my new shape. I have become strongly attached to being a Big Woman and I feel strange in a smaller frame, I will have to work out more because I hate the idea of being a "delicate woman". In general - my attitude towards my body shape is strongly related to my effective asexuality: I want to look good, but I openly want to be sexually unattractive. And in fact it works, I encounter milder forms of harassment such as catcalling really seldom, men are mostly uninterested in me. However, despite all my health problems I wouldn't say that I hate my body. I don't. What I feel towards it isn't hatred or disgust, it's anger - for not being able to live a physically comfortable life. However, I absolutely experience my health problems as very strongly related to my orientation. In my case, I feel very strongly that I'm effectively asexual due to being sex-averse, not the other way around (which some aces describe): I simply can't desire an experience which feels so frightening to me. And my sex aversion is primarily nudity aversion. I don't hate my body, but I absolutely am extremely uncomfortable with nudity. No exceptions, nobody has seen me naked since I was about 7-8 years old. There are other aspects to my sex aversion as well: an intense discomfort at the idea of "someone doing something to my body" (which is probably closely related to touch aversion), disgust wit body fluids... But I experience these aspects as less important - maybe not "surmountable" (because, not intending to have sex, I'm not going to check it out), but simply localised in the background because my nudity aversion forms the first line of defense. It means that I would panic or break down in tears at a very early stage, long before "actual sex". So other aspects of my sex aversion are simply unlikely to be triggered, while even without having attempted to have sex I feel intense discomfort, anxiety, shortness of breath if I try to imagine being naked in someone else's presence. I don't regret it. I am intelligent enough to realise that my nudity aversion and sex aversion have the characteristics of a vicious circle: I feel such intense discomfort at the idea of personally having sex that even the idea of no longer being sex-averse, even the idea that I could begin to desire sex and could possibly try sex if I wasn't sex-averse, feel violating to me. But still I have a right to my own feelings. I have enough power over them to decide which feelings I accept and which I don't. And I choose to embrace my sex aversion instead of trying to overcome it. Not wanting sex is a valid feeling - for everyone, in fact, not just for people who happen to have heard of asexuality and/or for those who meet the definition of asexuality. People shouldn't have unwanted sex. And it's only up to the subject to decide what is wanted and what isn't: if I don't want to have sex, I don't need any excuses. I don't need people telling me that I would supposedly gain something by losing my sex aversion - because I just don't feel that I need an ability to have sex, I'm more comfortable without it.
  23. Omega the Shadow

    How high can we count?

  24. I swear if this "asexual spectrum" nonsense doesn't die out soon I'm going to find a kitten to punch. Pick up a dictionary, people.
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