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  2. I'm glad it is not just me! I have had the resentment and aggression too, even when I've been really clear about my feelings etc - they seem to think it's some kind of game we're playing.
  3. Man this image does help out a lot thank you! And I will check out the "Intro" section, thank you so much for all the info and advice it really helps a lot and gives me more clarity especially walking into what I believe I am part of ^^
  4. This is the thought that has been in the back of my mind for years!! I think some men like the 'hard to get' thing, but that's a sign of a certain attitude that includes thinking that women don't know their own minds or need to be controlled or changed. This is what I have been experiencing - men who seem to accept me for who I am, but are controlling and manipulative.
  5. Nima

    The Banning Game!

    banned for those charming images
  6. anamikanon

    Arranged Marriage

    You probably won't like this answer and it may seem cruel, but dealing with the kind of pressures your mom is putting on you isn't really all that different from aces dealing with sexual partners who want sex. Unless you take a clear and non-negotiable stand, this will keep coming back at you. If you don't want to marry, say that firmly once. Ignore all further demands, even if it seems rude or ill tempered. Heck feel free to lose your temper on occasion. Have a few replies ready to common nags. Want grandkids? Adopt. If you are normally rather conforming - and your posts overall give me the impression that you don't want to rattle anything - this kind of behavior may seem hostile to you. But it isn't. While your mother thinks given enough "convincing" she can change your mind, it adds to her anxiety as well to get that changing of mind done before you get too old, etc. If she knows it is a no-go, even if badly disappointing, she will be able to get over it and when the waves from that settle, both of you will be able to move on from the conflict. Good news is that conservative families overall are more accepting of women not wanting sex than wanting sex 😛 It is the "don't want to marry" that will make you stand out. Might be useful to state what you WANT to do instead. For eg, take a specific kind of job or career or lifestyle that isn't compatible with a traditional marriage or is simply too time consuming or at a delicate stage to get distracted by marriage now. Will help your mother transition into acceptance. "Won't marry? Then what will you DO?" is answered. It may also be useful to have your own backup plan if things go to hell in a handbasket. Have a tentative idea of what you will do if your refusal is not accepted. Also, and I hate to say this, a risk assessment if anyone in your family is prone to fits of anger. Could be useful to have your brother present.
  7. SpiderSquid

    My Partner Seeing Me Without Makeup

    Im gonna be blunt. I knew a girl who took make up to a survival camp and would not leave the tent without make up. In all honesty nobody really cares, everyone looks nice with make up since it hides flaws and can be a nice confidence booster. If I could I would wear it. reverse the roles, put yourself in his position and wanting to see him without make up. Just relax and breath. Make up shmakeup. It can't be you, him and make up. Just you and him. Make up is just a small factor, Dont worry to much. If he doesnt like you without make up then hes got issues.
  8. MichaelTannock

    Can I marry

    @Asex92 Welcome to AVEN! Yes, it is possible. But it takes a lot of effort for a marriage to be successful. Unfortunately, I don't have any advice to offer to help, as in my case, I've never had a romantic relationship, let alone a marriage. Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, and here's a Dusk Forest Chapel Cake,
  9. Ardoise

    The Genderqueer Watch

    Interesting article: https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/trans-history-wild-west
  10. 45. People who engage in small-talk because they are uncomfortable with silence 46. When body language implies something but that something is never stated verbally 47. Idiots (very broad category and accepts all sorts of people) 48. When someone sneezed in the library book
  11. Strange-quark

    Hello Everyone!

    Feel free, it's Internet's not mine 🤣 (actually courtesy of Sprinkle Bakes or whatever)
  12. MichaelTannock

    Can I marry

    I've moved this thread from 'Questions about Asexuality' to 'Asexual Relationships'. Michael Tannock, Open Mic moderator and Questions about Asexuality Co-moderator.
  13. Maybe this will help. Based off everything you have said so far, it doesn’t sound like you experience sexual attraction/desire. But maybe your feelings fall under the other types of attraction? That seems to be the way it is for us. Why we are ace and others aren’t. Also, if you take a look in the welcome lounge I think you’ll find a lot of people have their “Intro” stories there and you’ll be able to read for yourself what commonly gets said and what doesn’t. Good luck.
  14. Grey-Ace Ventura

    Hello Everyone!

    @Strange-quark I love your zodiac cake! I might steal that idea the next time I make one
  15. Aebt

    I’m asexual right??

    Only you can answer those questions, and you might not be able to answer them until much later in life. You might be asexual or you might not, it is very hard to definitively prove a negative. I do know statistically by age 18 98% of people have felt sexual attraction, and at least two major studies have found that about 1% of the population is asexual so by age 18 if you have not felt sexual attraction you have a 50% you are asexual, the other 50% would be that you are a late bloomer. I do not know statistically by age 16, but the percentage who have experienced sexual attraction at age 16 is above 50%.There are some on here who would disagree with those figures, but the two most comprehensive studies have found about 1% and that number seems reasonable to fit with the other data available. And with that out of the way, Welcome to AVEN!🍰 Since you are 16 you might want to check out the Teen Corner, that is where some of us teens hang out.
  16. It sounds like you have managed to avoid most unwanted attention and maybe that's because you seem so sure of who you are. That's an amazing thing that I hope to achieve. I'm even older I should say (46!), I am quite new to all of this, I'm trying to work out why all of my past disasters have happened so that I can avoid any more...I think it is because I have not been clear in my own head about how I feel and that I have the right to feel this way! I could also respect someone living at the margin of society, although I couldn't do it either! But by sociopath I meant more 'psychopath' I guess - someone who doesn't understand or care about other people's feeling, lies all the time, can be abusive etc.
  17. Thank you for the cake lol ❤️ It really means a lot to me since I was nervous talking about this to other people so decided to come here where I could get advice and feedback on my feelings from other asexuals 😊 I mean I do love hugging and cuddling a lot, and honestly have had a craving for it recently, but it's because I've been feeling unsafe in my feelings lately, especially with the break up where it was caused because she didn't feel like I was treating her like a girlfriend/felt the romantic feelings anymore for me (and it sucked because I felt them hardcore and was absolutely happy with her, but she is a lot more highly sexual than me, and has respected I don't feel sexual especially in the beginning.) Hell she would be completely naked around me and I wouldn't feel sexual stuff, it mostly was "wow she's beautiful I'm lucky to be with her" versus when I walked out naked and would make comments on my figure being appealing, which would sometimes make me uncomfortable and make me cover myself, but I also trusted her in my feelings of being exposed like that. To the PS- wow I didn't know it wasn't uncommon for that to be normal thing for the ace community. I'm still learning about this type of stuff even though I wanna learn more. To the PPS- that is comforting to hear that, since most of my life I've heard it is connected and was always confused when it happened to me but it didn't go towards someone at all.
  18. Ardoise

    Hello Everyone!

    Welcome to the forum! Enjoy your cake and validation.
  19. Telecaster68

    Retrospective Perspective

    My high spot was my wife's response when I asked her how she felt about is never having sex. 'It's just something we used to do when we were younger, like going to clubs....' Oh and apparently sex having any emotional component was 'a man thing'.
  20. Ardoise

    My Partner Seeing Me Without Makeup

    If he thinks you're ugly without your makeup, then he's a shallow person who doesn't deserve you.
  21. Hey, everyone. 💜 I'm not sure what I'm looking for here; I might just need to vent a little bit. I mentioned in a post that I'd recently met someone special, someone that I really care about and want to spend the rest of my life with. Things are getting pretty serious between us, but the one thing that's nagging me is that I'm self-conscious about how I look without makeup. I don't hate my face, nor do I think I look ugly, or that I'm prettier with makeup on--it's just that I'm so used to people seeing me that way. I always wear makeup whenever I leave the house. To top it off, he's even mentioned that I don't have to wear makeup around him, so I don't have much to worry about, it's just...nerve-wrecking, because I guess I worry about how attractive he'll find me. As I said, I don't know what I'm looking for, and posting this on a website devoted to asexuality is probably not helping. I guess maybe...advice? Insight? Console? A way to amp myself up for it? Anything would help. I'm going to wipe off my makeup for him the next time I'm over at his place, like ripping off a band-aid, so I need all the encouragement I can get. 😅 Thanks in advance!
  22. I mean define "sexual desire" sorry I'm confused by the words and meaning 😅 I mean the idea of being that close to someone is nice in the feeling, but I just don't feel sex is the answer? I'm not repulsed by the idea at all, but it just doesn't appeal me in my life? Especially with my past with sex and especially when I lost my virginity not being my choice. Some people have told me it's probably only because of my past with relationships and my fear of getting too close to people then getting hurt. Which is true in a way, but it doesn't stop the fact that sex still isn't my top priority. Thank you by the way for the welcome ❤️ I wanted to ask other people on the asexual spectrum these questions but don't have anyone I am close to that are part of it, and I found this site and decided to jump the shark for my own betterment since it's been bugging me for a while.
  23. Nima

    A Sentence Forming Game

    Dumbledore's wizards envision ludicrous lengths in new Gryffindor scarves.
  24. Strange-quark

    What is a rather strange or rare hobby that you have?

    Oooh that's too true
  25. PoeciMeta

    What is a rather strange or rare hobby that you have?

    Yeah, that and languages. Basically I'm too lazy to push myself to learn that stuff even if I want to. Eh '-'
  26. Lee ✧

    Welcome our new Moderator

    Congratulations! I know you'll be great!
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