Jump to content

All Activity

This stream auto-updates     

  1. Past hour
  2. Uncle D

    Fellow Sexuals

    I'm still a newbie, also you guys should go elsewhere to argue.....you scaring me away....if you are scaring me away, you probably have already scared who knows how many away.....but then again I am just a scaredy cat......lol I'm a senior sexual btw.....and I come here for support being married to a still in the closet ace/aro, that I love dearly......and the cake is certainly a wow!.....even though it's not real, I am still gaining weight.....lol
  3. Mz Terry

    The Banning Game!

    Banned for spotting the word of the day.
  4. Some guy

    Nerdy interests thread

    I've always wanted to learn more about the JFK assassination, but more so I can be a better judge of whether the CIA did it than anything else (currently I'm pretty convinced it was the CIA). I love conspiracy stuff, as long as it's actually plausible and not Flat-Earth-tier nonsense. I have a book on the JFK assassination on my shelf but haven't gotten around to reading it.
  5. Some guy

    Favorite Quotes?

    "Successful people have a sense of gratitude. Unsuccessful people have a sense of entitlement." Just a saying I use to remind myself to appreciate life more and not lust for more material benefits.
  6. SkyenAutowegCaptain

    anyone past 50 on here?

    Else it may be the wrong sort of birds you see *that couldn't not be said *
  7. andreas1033

    Asexual stereotypes

    For me, asexuals are such a unique group, i personally do not know any asexuals, and never will. So i can only speak for myself, i would rather not, as saying what i think myself is an asexual, others may not agree. One i would assume sexuals think of when they think of asexuals is "Asexuals must not be fun" Or maybe sexuals think "Asexuals must be broken people" There is two, that probably sexuals think about asexuals.
  8. A Grey So Dark

    Asexual stereotypes

    I identify as demisexual. Roast me!
  9. Moon Spirit ☽

    Asexual stereotypes

    @KrysLost And the jungle is where they shall remain.
  10. KrysLost

    Asexual stereotypes

    And grey-sexuals have nothing better to do than strip naked and swing through the jungle.
  11. Moon Spirit ☽

    Asexual stereotypes

    @A Grey So Dark Asexuals: Sexuals have nothing better to do than to have sex Sexuals: Asexuals have nothing better to do than to eat cake
  12. RoseGoesToYale

    RoseGoesToYale

    Rose's Fruity Adventures: Jackfruit

     

    Has an indescribable flavor that kinda grows on you. I seriously don't have the words. I want to say sweet and savory, but that's not right... musky? Umami? Somebody who's had it, help me out!

  13. Kimmie.

    New Declass Team Member Needed: Nominations

    Sounds promising, i can't really write though 😄 We should maybe take this somewhere else so we don't derail this thread anymore.
  14. So, I've been very happily married and still am to the only woman I have ever and will ever love. She is the best part of every day of my life. Here's the problem, I want occasional sex. Once a month would be plenty. She has determined that she may have become asexual. She lost interest in sex five years ago. It's not that it isn't enjoyable when we do have it. But she has no interest in doing it whatsoever. I am very keyed into the emotion behind it. I love to be connected. Unfortunately along with her lose of interest has come a lose of that connection when we do occasionally have sex. Therefore I'm less interested, which should maje it easier. I have a hard time because when I look at her, my heart flutters like it did when we were teenagers. Just being close to her is enough to get me aroused. When none of it is reciprocated, I find myself frustrated and angry in the bathroom. I want to make this incredibly clear. I WILL NEVER LEAVE OR CHEAT ON MY WIFE. So here I am, frustrated, lonely, feeling disconnected, but still relentlessly attracted to and deeply in love with my wife. Does anyone have any advice that could possibly help me cope with this and grow stronger?
  15. scarletlatitude

    New Declass Team Member Needed: Nominations

    @Kimmie. let me know if you're interested in AVENues
  16. You're not a bad boyfriend for leaving an abusive ex who threatened to rape you. You're not a selfish boyfriend for leaving due to an ex-partner having mental health issues and refusing to deal with them. You're not a manipulative boyfriend for telling your ex asexual partner you're uncomfortable with signing a binding social contract after not keeping their word for such a long period of time and leaving (I'm not sure if you left or not but I'm making the assumption). These are all good calls to break up with someone and whoever is making you feel like you're bad, selfish and manipulative for setting boundaries and following through on your word is also coercive. Please for your sake surround yourself with better company. I agree both are valid experiences (not more or less but different). Asking for change is communication and boundary setting. Leaving is following through on your word. "When you assume you make an a** out of u and me" This quote has helped me with a lot and I believe it can help in everyone's relationships. I'm sorry you've been hurt so much by the people you hold closest to your heart. If you don't mind, I would like to try and piece together the experiences you've described here for understanding (not to diminish your experience). I can honestly say that until I delved deep to understand the point of view of allosexuals I was ignorant of all things relating to sex and sexuality. It's way more complex than just saying it's when you desire to have sexual interactions with someone and I can see it is the same for people on the other side trying to understand asexuality. It's helped me to keep in mind that when there is any difference between two people it will shape two totally different worldviews from race to gender to sexuality to like cake. I say this not to make light of what you've just described (which I see as verbal abuse and assault) but to bring an answer to why they would do that. Here are some things that blew my mind about or that I misunderstood about sex and sexuality: 1. People use sex for more than making other people 2. The fact that people find sex/sexual contact distasteful to do in public yet make sex jokes (?????????) 3. That people call each other "dirty" when having sex but they don't actually like being thought of as dirty outside of a sexual context (???????????) 4. That sex can be a vulnerable and intimate connection tied to the other attractions, connections, and desires someone feels for a person Many more where that came from but I think what happened in the interactions you described above(if your partner did not have malicious intent and even if they did explaining why they might have thought it was okay due to ignorance on the subject) is that your partner tried to meet your expectations (in the public grope situation) and does not understand that your specific desire for sex and how you want it to be reciprocated. Unfortunately, I could see myself doing that only because I would be thinking, "Oh, they like when I do that so let's do that" and would instantly be filled with remorse and embarrassment to here that I misunderstood your need and hurt you. I would be trying to do it for you but I would be socially awkward in a sexual manner (not knowing the social norms surrounding sexuality). I am not saying this is what happened. I wasn't there and I don't know the intent of your partner but if it was malicious (knowing that you wouldn't like it) then I'm sorry you had to go through that and hope they apologized and never do it again. As for calling you disgusting for enjoying/desiring sex, this is not ok. If done without malicious intent (to knowingly hurt you), then it would be best to explain how you feel when they say that part of who you are is disgusting. They could have tried to "talk dirty" and hit a nerve or maybe they meant it in a negative manner but due to ignorance didn't understand why being called disgusting is a verbal attack on your personhood. They may think you can just stop thinking that way (see it as something you do and not who you are). If they were malicious, they should apologize, reevaluate how they see you and sexuality as a whole, and never do it again. Communication is key. No assumptions, no namecalling, and no lack of respect. Openmindedness and compassion are important. Remember: You love this person you want to make it work and to see them happy. You're not enemies where one must win and the other lose. You're partners. You're both also human and you have limits, needs, and boundaries that should be balanced with the person else it won't work. ❤
  17. OptimisticPessimist

    New Declass Team Member Needed: Nominations

    Can confirm this, @kelico and @scarletlatitude can give more info.
  18. We both like science.
  19. Iam9man 🐧

    New Declass Team Member Needed: Nominations

    Maybe helping with the AVENues magazine? You’d only get access to a forum for AVENues team discussions, tasks, ideas, etc but there’s no sensitive information, so practically no more than a regular member can see, especially as content then gets published in the magazine for all to see. (Appreciate this is off topic, but may be relevant for anyone considering ways of getting more involved with AVEN 😊)
  20. PoeciMeta

    The Lost Sexuality Game

    Oh yeah, this time! I'm pretty proud of myself, listen to that: I decided to take on the challenge to go down the Niagara falls in a barrel, and I got stuck in the whirlpool behind the falls; so, to get myself out, I got out of the barrel, put my sexuality in it, and kicked it toward the back of the waterfall so hard that, with its weight, I was propelled through the waterfall and escaped it! Not bad, eh? I think I read something about the person below me losing their sexuality in a cold room...
  21. A Grey So Dark

    Asexual stereotypes

    @Moon Spirit ☽ I eat all that cake because the sexuals are too busy to get to it. They would have to get there before I eat the whole by myself.🤣
  22. Had this discussion the other day with a lovely lady. I understand my mostly Ace brain thinks different thoughts than a “typical” male brain. My point was how in the world could the guy find any enjoyment in any activity (especially sex) with someone he knows 100% wants no part in this activity. It simply does not compute.
  23. KuraTheChibiCrystalKitty

    Alphabetical "Better than sex" game

    Quails are better than sex.
  24. KuraTheChibiCrystalKitty

    The Lost Sexuality Game

    I wanted to buy so many books, my sexuality got fed up with waiting and took off down the street. The person below me lost their sexuality while going down Niagara Falls.
  25. PoeciMeta

    The Lost Sexuality Game

    I must admit that's true - I was trying to catch shrimps in the rocks and too distracted to keep an eye on it, and it tried to swim too far away, got caught in a sea current, drowned and was eaten by crabs. But that's nothing compared to the person below me, who I heard lost their sexuality in a bookshop...
  26. Omega the Shadow

    Alphabetical "Better than sex" game

    Pacifist runs in video games are better than sex.
  1. Load more activity
×
×
  • Create New...