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  2. I only just searched for the term out of curiosity, but serial dater/dating does have a somewhat negative connotation, so that might influence who self-identifies that way. Just to be clear though, cheating is a specific behavior; people can do that without ever having one night stands. And going to sex workers is a distinct behavior; no doubt there are such folks who likewise have never had casual (unpaid) sex and who have not/would not cheat on a partner. The way any/all negative or problematic behavior related to sex gets automatically bundled with having many part
  3. First off, I am so grateful to have found this site. As an educated, successful and sexual woman, it's shocking that until now, I had no idea there were other people experiencing the same levels of despair as I have with (I suspect) an asexual husband. We've been married 24 years and he is an incredibly kind, warm and thoughtful man. The first 8 years of marriage were the "easy" years - no kids, building careers, traveling, but sex was almost non-existent. Wasn't this supposed to be the "best years"? Intimacy happened only if I initiated it and in hindsight I recognize my husband couldn
  4. Have you tried asking allo people? There's a dating site/app called OKCupid & there are some sex-related questions on there which helps with potential compatibility. For frequency, I've seen some men answer with "Every day" or "One to two times a week" - don't know if they'll answer you honestly but you can try asking (?)
  5. Epitaph

    No wonder I love cake so much ...

    lost a few fictos from here a while ago, but I think there's a few knocking around the forums somewhere that are still here. You'll meet friendly folk for certain. Not all of them ace, but they'll be friendly regardless. Hope you find what you're looking for here boss.
  6. I think that a lot of men have sex with multiple women because culture tells them that they can. I do not believe that men are genuinely unable to control their sex drive. Everyone can do it at least to some extent. But in older times, women were supposed to be "chaste", but men - particularly those in power - were given permission to "sow their wild oats", traditional sexual morality was not marked by supposed "Puritanism" (broadly, generically understood), but by hypocrisy. And now some things are better, but some have gotten even worse: all that some people take from sex positivity (which I
  7. Today
  8. Anomaly Q3Xr

    No wonder I love cake so much ...

    Hi, welcome to AVEN, nice to meet you
  9. AutoFiction

    No wonder I love cake so much ...

    Hi everyone, I'm a nearly 50 year-old woman, been married for over 20 years and have two teenaged children. My husband is Allo. I realised our mismatched libidos were a bit more complex about 5 years ago when I learned more about Asexuality and myself. We're still navigating through this as an ace/allo couple. I'm a daydreamer, writer, and artist. I love music, my favourite band is Suede. All my life, my most fulfilling romances have been in my imagination and stories I write. I often examine the blurry space between fantasy and reality. I hope to meet other friendly ac
  10. AloneTogether

    Lonely and tired

    @Liara I know it can be very hard talking about deep feelings. I struggle with it too. However I think it’s a very positive thing that you’ve taken a first step. I think, if you keep going, you’ll find it just a little easier each time. You don’t have to say everything in one go, and yes maybe sometimes things will come out a bit awkward and convey a different meaning from what you meant, but you have the opportunity to explain and I’m sure your partner can understand that this is difficult for you and you’re making an effort. Try not to say things in an accusatory way
  11. Myssterry

    The Banning Game!

    Banned for making us work on this thread on Good Friday.
  12. The most I personally feel missing is feeling like I can't offer most people what they'd want from a committed partnership, namely romance and sex, but I still want my own designated human to share my life with, but I don't want the romance or sex to go with it. The main way I love is just by like treating someone like family and having that deep bond that way, but I want to skip past the romance-y and sex parts and just have that unshakable bond, and I don't know if I could ever find someone who'd be looking for that and not want the other stuff, too. <Da I don't know how I'd even go about
  13. A part of the problem maybe could be solved when knowing why you don't want to have children. I mean, that's a valid thing actually, if you don't want you don't want. But as you are talking about having anxities and being in the autistic specturm it might be possible (from my POV) that the reasons are somehow illogical or not thought far enough with enough realism. Despite that, even if you'd not want children that would usually not make you being largly afraid of abuse. Usually you don't want abuse because it's very shitty in general. So if it's really you not wanting children wha
  14. Yesterday evening was awful. My partner and I were talking about something pretty harmless and I tried, for once, to tell her something personal. Her reaction was a little rude and hurt me. I told her and she asked me if I was not a little susceptible... For context, I usually never shared anything personal with someone IRL. I grew up in a family where, if I shared something like that, my parents or my brothers 1) didn't listen or 2) laugh and mock me or 3) didn't understand at all. So I learned to never share and that's obviously a problem for relationships (I heard the term toxic independe
  15. WanderingPurpleDragon

    Quickly, Before They See!

    1
  16. Myssterry

    Red, Green, Blue, RAINBOW GOATS!

    Dinghy was swept out to sea and red goat is now on a desert island.
  17. Piotrek

    Counting money after its out of ATM

    I do... although the sum I typically request is round and the ATMs in my country usually only spit out banknotes of two or three values so there isn't much need for laborious counting.
  18. Sally

    In which Asexual Spectrum you Fall In?

    I had sex with partners for most of my adult life because I thought I'd eventually "learn" to like it, and I'd never heard of asexuality. However, I didn't learn to like it; quite the opposite. I am thoroughly asexual, and I agree with Philip. I think someone who occasionally likes/wants sex, or with certain people, or in certain situations, are simply sexual. Most sexuals are diverse in their experience of sexuality.
  19. I have always known that I am missing something, because I've had two long relationships with two men -- husband and partner -- that included sex, and it was obvious that they felt things that I did not. For years, I thought I would eventually feel those things, but then learned about asexuality and realized that I shouldn't expect to be someone that I wasn't. When I say "missing something", I don't mean that I as a person am lacking; I simply mean that I (and other asexuals) are different from sexuals. However, I would have loved to have the same sexual experiences as my partners, and I fe
  20. I doubt if any of Clinton's or Kennedy's liaisons had much emotional content to them. And when we talk about famous men's affairs being caused by ego and power drive, I think we're forgetting that sex itself can be a very strong drive for some men. They were both in committed marriages, but they obviously didn't feel that precluded having sexual affairs that their prominence allowed.
  21. Hello everyone... I've been mourning after I found out I am asexual... I am mourning that I will be missing this part of life that I don't want to miss... I want to fall in love, I want to love, I want to share my life with someone and to love until my last breathe... I know it may sound cheeky but I feel I want this in my life at some point in the future... but being ACE changes everything... Has anyone of you ever felt this way? Like you are missing out something... Please I need understanding in this sense... I have never felt so sad ... I didn't even kno
  22. Real Estate RICO

    Real Estate RICO

    14 run 3rd = deadz intro moment

  23. Anomaly Q3Xr

    Quickly, Before They See!

    Let's go for Squirrel Combat! 🐿️
  24. Anomaly Q3Xr

    One random word in Alphabetical order

    Solstice.
  25. Anomaly Q3Xr

    Red, Green, Blue, RAINBOW GOATS!

    Red Two managed to return on a dinghy.
  26. Anomaly Q3Xr

    Word association game

    Industrial.
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