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  2. I've only ever had women use me to cheat on their partners, I will add that I was blissfully unaware of the situation when it was happening, but after being cheated on so many times, I wised up to it, I've been single for nearly 30 years now, the reason being, two of the women in my past relationships answered my question as to why they cheated, their answer was "you were single, you're ugly, you do anything to please, you're desperate, I wanted to see if I still had it in me to pull, you proved I could, you were my ego boost" at this stage, I knew I didn't really want sex, but relationships never lasted long enough for either of us to initiate sex, it wasn't until 10/12 years ago I disovered the term asexual and this site to realise there are others like me. I've remained single, not just because of the answers that I was given, but because even if I could be involved in a relationship, if my partner was sexual, it would be wrong to deny them something that satisfies their needs, having tried sex, it made me feel physically sick afterwards, I'm not sex repulsed, as long as I'm not the one having sex. On a slightly different side of things, I was at a party today, a friends' daughters party, her parents are divorced, they both remarried, rather ironically they're both going through their second divorce at the same time, they were both present today, he has got off with one of his sisters friends, she is very much single, there was a little tension because he was getting along with his partner, I get along with all parties, I know nothing would have kicked off, but I would have spoken to any one of them, even though I've not been successful in relationships, I do respect that people can't help the way they feel towards someone else, having learned from what I've seen in the past, I can offer some constructive advice, plus the fact, I have friends that I love dearly, of which they all fall into that category so without wanting to fall out with any of them, or take sides, I would have to do my best to stop any bad feelings
  3. will123

    a-spec flag concept

    How's this for those of us that are aro ace, white with a large NO! in the middle?
  4. will123

    anyone past 50 on here?

    I hate debit cards because people use them to make triffling purchases and then struggle to enter the PIN. I could've done the whole transaction faster using cash.
  5. Zagadka

    Homeless issue

    I've been camping my entire life. I'm an Eagle Scout. I would be happy to run off and camp for life. I know plenty of places around Southern California that I could comfortably illegally live in the wild, if I had access to food. But I definitely view not having access to things like healthcare or changing that situation as entirely unacceptable, and that is where most homeless people are. Not having a mailing address or a place to shower is enough to disqualify you from both a job and government assistance, and that is just ridiculous. Those are the people that need help the most. I was recently talking to someone about how I would be incredibly disadvantaged without my cell phone (which I hate using, but have because things simply require it). In a society with those kind of conveniences...
  6. iam135

    Teen Corner

    Thank you so much! I'm really excited to start learning about all the clubs, but I'm worried about balancing that with a full course load (I'm dual majoring, so it's pretty likely that I'll be doing at least 18 credits every semester). That being said, I really regretting not being involved in extracirriculars in high school, so I'm eager to remedy that in college! What sorts of clubs were/are you involved in (if you don't mind me asking)? Yeah I tend to be ok with studying, but I'm not sure how much more intense finals are going to be in college. Do you have any study tools you found particularly helpful? I mostly just use Quizlet but I don't know if that will be enough anymore 😖! Yep you got it 😁!
  7. CelesteAdAstra

    Flags and Vexillology

    I know Geography Now, I watched their videos a lot 😃 Especially liked the 1st of April videos 😂 My favourite flags include: Estonia (my favourite colour scheme) Saar Basin (historical one, colours the same as Estonia but switched) Tanzania Uzbekistan Svalbard and a lot of pride flags, like the quoisexual one and the vertical version of the androgyne one.
  8. Zagadka

    Aces at Pride

    Whenever I feel excluded, I just remember how often people (including me) come to AVEN and other places in confusion and relief accepting who they are. That is worth it. I don''t really get bothered about the LGBTQ questions and accept being "just" an ally, but I won't stop letting people know they're cool as they are.
  9. SmittenWashingMachine

    Aces at Pride

    So I went to my first Pride this year-having only been identifying as ace since about May this year-, fully prepared to represent the ace community. The Hubby was with me and we'd already discussed how to tell our friends if they asked (that I identify as ace and that he would field any further questions about our sex life. Bc apparently it's ok to ask the that kind of shit), so that part was covered. I have my "Ally AF" shirt on and my ace heart pin and bi unicorn pin. I was really excited to maybe buy some ace swag but aside from ginormous flags there was minimal ace stuff. Like, a few pins here and there. There was nothing! AND there was no representation in the parade. There were a few people wearing that giant flag as a cape and I cheered them on but... really? That's it? No ace marchers, no Aven anything. And I came out (still feel like a fraud using that term) to like, 6 people in our friend group. They were all either supportive of aloof, which is great. I guess my anger is because every time I asked a vendor if they had any ace stuff they looked at me kinda weird. Which, honestly, was probably me projecting but still. I don't know. I would say Pride was a success in general, I am just saddened by the lack of ace awareness.
  10. Tja

    Anyone in the London-ish area, over 50?

    Welcome, @Haematite! Check out the 'anyone past 50?' thread. It's great, and has folks from your neck of the woods.
  11. ryn2

    anyone past 50 on here?

    Yeah, dunno if my bank offers an ATM-only card that is not a debit MasterCard. At the time I wanted a debit card so I didn’t ask. My current points card lets you pay with points at Amazon so I may actually use them.
  12. Laplace

    #AsexualProblems

    A lot of adults and teachers have no idea how to handle bullies cause they are too soft, esp. cause certain places just have asinine policies that handcuff someone’s ability to defend themselves or stifle the school’s ability to punish anyone. Zero tolerance policies are trash cause you can’t fight back if someone hits you 😒. I gathered physically powerful people as friends, and I harnessed my academic power and leveraged it against people who decided to mess with me maliciously. I may have been kinda of an oddball, but I had a fair amount of influence in a small quiet school like mine. I could pretty much request to move my seat or leave a group project at will given a sufficient reason, and my word was considered very reliable. So people either had to contend with my friend on the wrestling team or face the academic consequences of my condemnations. My reliable reputation is my greatest weapon.
  13. 3Xi3X

    Hello

    Glad you made it over. The party can now start! Im also one to lend an ear as much as possible. PM me whenever.
  14. Have some cake 🍰 & welcome to the community.
  15. Zagadka

    Nineties internet nostalgia, anyone?

    I was delving YouTube and I realized that merely seeing a 4:3 aspect ratio video makes me feel nostalgic, and that makes me feel old. It is just an automatic reaction of "I that!" that makes me feel more connected to the video. I'm of the appropriate age that I remember the videos from MTV, so seeing them again is a trip. It has really made more more nostalgic of the 90s. Edit; And I'm really glad that YouTube has made music videos cool again. There was a long time between MTV abandoning videos and YouTube that is a gap in memory.
  16. 3Xi3X

    Genderflux/genderfluid or tomboy?

    I do agree with you. And I understand where you’re coming from. I do believe that people can just be male or female and still have some moments where they feel a little more masculine or feminine without having to be another gender. youre right that all these gender identities and labels can get confusing. Personally i consider myself a male in touch with my feminine side.
  17. ColeHW

    Flags and Vexillology

    I love a couple of polish flags, norad's flags, and the texas flag is okay.
  18. So I was reading the articles, which I assume are both yours, and you said you daydream in third person but I think I read somewhere that with asexuality you don’t daydream in first person, which is what I do. It’s not the real life me, it’s like the ideal me or a book character, but I’m that character, like I’d rather be them and not myself as real life me is plain and uninteresting and could honestly never match up. I’m not watching it happen like a movie, it’s happening to me. Does that count in aegosexuality, or do you have to be completely detached from the story? My over-daydreaming situation is very awkward sometimes and I sometimes act out talking to people without even realising what I’m doing and I feel crazy. Like I don’t realise until someone asks me “what on earth are you doing?” and then I’m like oh crap I need to make an excuse because it’s not normal behaviour according to most people. People look very concerned with my behaviour at times even though it’s normal to me. It kind of freaks me out too that I don’t seem to have control of my inner worlds and they’re so strong that they manage to seep out without me even knowing. I don’t act out anything sexual in front of people though, I think that would be weird. @Tunhope
  19. thylacine

    Homeless issue

    I doubt people like being homeless due to poverty, sleeping in a cardboard box in the winter. What you describe is more like camping out, but probably you could go home to a warm bed and a hot meal anytime.
  20. OptimisticPessimist

    OptimisticPessimist

  21. ColeHW

    Homoromantic guys chat

    Kinda? Been to lots of parties yesterday and today. This thread can get quiet as people are out and about.
  22. RoseGoesToYale

    The Banning Game!

    Banned for making Margaret greet everyone at the door.
  23. Yesterday
  24. Ess-Kat

    Hello

    Hello there. Welcome! I read that book it was very good--help me understand when I was learning about asexuality. Here is a small ( but still tasty) cake 🎂. It tradition to give one. If you ever want to chat, I'm open 😄
  25. Semisweet

    anyone past 50 on here?

    I still pay most bills by check and make only one recurring payment by credit card. I used to pay cash for most small purchases but now do more of those by credit card to accumulate rewards points that I then forget I have. And I don’t have a debit card (never wanted one), only an ATM card; I suspect many people are unaware you can even get just an ATM card, because banks never seem to volunteer that.
  26. Twist722

    Twist722

    It's fading (I think) but I had that feeling today of my mind being pulled in too many directions. Very uncomfortable 😕

    1. Just Dani

      Just Dani

      I've experienced that. It IS very uncomfortable... 😣

  27. I've been aromantic all my life even though I figured out I was asexual twelve years beforehand. In my 20s even before the majority of my social circle were getting engaged and married, I had no interest in marriage or fathering children. It wasn't until I was 44 when things changed for me. I can see how that 'development' might affect your relationship. You obviously want to be with the other person, but does that include child rearing? This will sound crude, but it sounds like that wasn't what you signed up for. Did you ever have any desire to have children of your own? Right there that could cause some incompatibilty with your squish. No different than an ace and a sexual person.
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