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  2. sithgirlix

    Master Trump Thread

    That is... vague. History is most certainly linear as that's the way time works. Maybe it can be poorly passed on and looked back on differently, but it's still traveling in one direction. Teleological means having a purpose? No, I don't believe in existance to life. Only to live and not fuck up the planet so others can live too. You might need to explain the myth of progress. Because I believe the world should be improved for everyone, I believe there is progress possible in making things better. Give women the vote? Progress! You're making women more equal to men which is good in terms of making things better for both men and women! But if you're more of a nihilist in that there's no purpose for "bettering" society as there is no "better" only different, then we're just gonna have to disagree there. I somewhat agree. Not sure since I am a bit of an idealist here. I do believe these things are a lot of our species' tendancy to form in-groups and out-groups, and therefore treat the out-group as lesser or at least different from our in-group. Just not sure about the larger scale of things because I believe we might evolve over a long-ass period of time. These two are contradictory statements. I'm gonna be honest. I really don't know what you mean here. You mean you believe in revolution? In just jumping off the cliff as opposed to climbing down one hand-hold at a time? To me, this jumping vs. climbing comparison is the only way I can make sense of what you're saying. I see a goal, a "bigger picture", the dream of getting to the bottom of the cliff. It's dangerous and you may not be able to see the bottom because of the tress and other things in the way, and maybe the cliff isn't straight up but curved and concave or otherwise difficult along the way. In order to get down this cliff, I find a foothold, then another, then move steadily down while keeping both feet and hands on the cliff at all times. To me, it seems like you're advocating just jumping off the cliff which is potentially dangerous and deadly. No, there's no clear purpose to life. The goal of human existance is not to climb down that cliff. The cliff is just a goal, a way to make things "better" in my eyes. There may be no real "bottom" in the ideal of a world without discrimination based on things we're born as. But if climbing down that cliff makes it easier for us to live together without killing each other and making life harder for each other, isn't it a good thing?
  3. Phixel

    I don't know what I am.

    As of the past few months, I've felt a lot of anxiety about my gender and who/what I am gender-wise. I was born male, and at times I feel very feminine, masculine, or neutral, but never one feeling. Help!
  4. Fluffy Femme Guy

    Incredibly Ace Moments

    Asexuals be like:
  5. I'm wondering: why are you calling your friends "sluts"? That's not a real friendly term.
  6. Marian the Herbalist

    I want a super ultra best friend

    I'm 27, I don't really have any friends that are close, but everyone I know that's around my age, except for two people, have gotten babies or partners, and yep, kids definitely make people more boring, everything is about the kids (which I kinda get, but still).
  7. CustardCream

    Post something you have in common with the above user

    We share a liking for the works of a specific author.
  8. MrDane

    Asexual Headcanons

    Can I just ask? How do you know? I dont know all of the characters, but I guess only a few of them actually mentions their asexual sexuality. Some are maybe just portrayed as ‘not interested’?
  9. Sally

    Master Trump Thread

    But history IS linear, since it is simply a recounting of what happened over time. Containment of racism and sexism is indeed progress. I really don't care whether someone thinks I as a woman am inferior, as long as they keep that opinion to themselves -- i.e., contain it. That containment wasn't happening in the 19th century; it's happening now in much of the world.
  10. CustardCream

    Allo-f my friends are sluts - My Demisexual Experience

    Hello and welcome. I am glad that you have found us, and hope that you enjoy being part of the community. Have some cake! 🍰
  11. MrDane

    Indifferent Asexuals, A post as Advocacy for them

    Neutral, indifferent? Pretty darn close to being the same. Could you come with some examples? Like from everyday life?
  12. InDefenseOfPOMO

    Master Trump Thread

    I don't know about "the situation". It might possibly be dismissed as nothing more than politics. But I do know that how the human mind works and how society works are probably more complex than anybody has ever imagined. A clinical psychologist once said to me, "I have been studying people for more than 30 years, and I am still figuring people out". The statement was not about the situation. The statement was about people--that they are racist "100%". So I tried to get clarification about what this "100%" racist means. I do not believe that history is linear and teleological. I do not buy into the myth of progress. Things like racism and sexism are probably always going be present and can only be contained, never eliminated. I could be completely off base, of course. Seeing the bigger picture is never a completed task, but the moment we stop trying to see it is the moment that the problems we are trying to cope with become obscured. Unless you believe that humans are a bunch of pathetic fools who are delusional when they think that they can help themselves, you should not be opposed to clear thinking. Clear thinking is not making a complex problem unmanageable. Clear thinking--which, in my estimation, means never losing sight of the larger context / big picture--is a prerequisite for effective change. Effective change could mean ridding one's own mind of erroneous thinking. Or, at the group level, a paradigm shift. I would rather go ahead and make that change, not exhaust the status quo until we are forced to change.
  13. grazingsheep

    I want a super ultra best friend

    @firewallflower aw man, I find that people with low self esteem are some of the kindest most interesting people.... or like... incels lol, but you seem to be the former. Most of my friend's SO have just been LAME, super boring dudes. I havent had a lot of friends, when i find one best friend I stick with them. I'm gonna be honest with you, I've heard people talk about getting older and losing their friends because they are in different stages of their lives. couples lose their former school friends, then they have a baby and replace their work friends with parent friends. its a trend. I hate to be a downer but I have to prepare my self for this. Hopefully we all find awesome people who are more than predictable trends but..... yeah
  14. firewallflower

    I want a super ultra best friend

    @grazingsheep Interesting! I can't say I relate to the anger side of things—because again, seeing that people I care for made happy by their partners and relationships makes me happy on their behalf, even if it does also intensify certain feelings of loneliness; plus, thanks to low self-esteem I tend to operate from the assumption that I am inferior in every way to everyone else, so couldn't justify resentment even if I wanted to—but I'm sorry you're feeling so much frustration here. It sounds like some of your friends have had unfortunate relationship situations, to say the least, and I would assume that the more negative the relationship, the more negative its impact on friendships/other interpersonal relations. With that said, despite the sense of hopelessness (which again, I definitely relate to), it can be helpful to bear in mind that romance and friendship don't always have to conflict. For example, one of my closest friends has been in a relationship with her partner for over a year, and if anything our friendship has grown stronger than ever! So, I try not to mentally make these things a competition; that's not going to help anyone, least of all myself. The few friendships I have mean a lot to me, and the fact that the friend is dating doesn't change that. Someday, I'd love to find a best friend/platonic partner of sorts, and it makes me sad to think that that probably won't happen... but that doesn't lessen the value of the friendships I do have. Hang in there, all!
  15. Well, it is a fine list, and even a bit mechanical touch can be better than none. I think, I do some of these. It is a natural part of being two and being considerate and having/showing empathy. Just have to remember that these are not foreplay in order to come to the love part, these are signs of love in them selves. But in a wellcfunctioning sexual-sexual relationship, these could very well be a natural step towards having sex later on, while they build up a nice vibe between the couple. And often a hug or a soft touch is also where you find/feel that this is actually what you needed from the loving partner. The difference between foreplay and the list is that foreplay is a social construction with a goal, aproduct: sex. In this, the goal is to be present in the process and the outcome, which is ongoing, is intimate twosomeness.
  16. Today
  17. daveb

    anyone past 50 on here?

    Best wishes on your recovery and Tosca's!
  18. Coddiwomple

    Trans Musings & Rantings

    My step-grandparents seem to be accepting of my gender, but they continually misgendered me today... I know these things take time, but it's frustrating when people forget that I didn't just change my name for the heck of it---I'm actually not a girl.
  19. grazingsheep

    I want a super ultra best friend

    @Auld_Mulk finding aces is... pretty impossible lol, low numbers and no real signifiers. Plus, I hate coming out, so i try to do it as little as possible :/ this world wasn't made for us, its frustrating @Marian the Herbalist I'm 26 right now, and the older i get, the more people around me will start slotting into expected family life :/ all the cool things we used to do will no longer be possible. its bad enough with how much adult responsibilities take up time, but when people start having babies. not to be a dick, but people start becoming very boring very quickly. I've seen it.... It's not pretty. @sallimae76 I was a satisfied loner, but I just function better with friends. I do so much more with a friend. I like learning and discussing things with friends, doing crazy things im too chicken to do by my self. @firewallflower Its funny how I used to get jealous when my best friend would do stuff with other people, but she would always do MOST everything with me. and that jealousy eventually moved to frustration and a bit of anger. I have always been cooler than all my friends SO, thats not me hyping myself up, for some reason all their BFs have been extremly lame. so WHY NOT ME???? why are they choosing these super boring dudes to be with???? they have never gotten along as well as we have. its so crazy frustrating, I absolutely dont understand. my brother said between hanging out with friends and having sex, of course my friend would leave me for the later. this pisses me off so much. not to hate on sex (but I have NO one i could possibly talk about this with) but this stupid act is good you'd choose it over the person you have so much more fun with??? youd choose it with someone who beats you and has none of the same interests as you over someone you love spending time with???? honestly.... this has made me hate sex..... but.... thats a whole other discussion thats.... pointless in an allo world lol. there really isnt anything that can be done about this. these things that frustrate me are just human biology, I'm frustrated by a world that wasn't build for me, and there is nothing I can do about it. do I go on some ace dating site looking for a friend????? lmao good luck
  20. Sex, hotness, lust, desire, flirting, orgasm... may not mean the same to you guys! I think, that my wife could use the word ‘sexy’ about someone, but it wouldnt be more than a sum of things like: a fit body with low percentage of fat put, combined with a pretty face with white teeth, shown in a way that would attribute their body in a harmoniously way with a glimpse of sympathy in their eyes.” It would have nothing to do with getting a sexual vibe or an urge to touch or fantasize about getting it on, in a parallel universe. Sexy ass, just means pretty. Not mouthwatering, no difference in the breathing.
  21. Hi! I'm new and I'd like to share my story. Still going through a LOT, but I feel like putting myself out into a welcoming community will help. Also half-doing this to prepare for therapy. Sorry it's so long. I grew up very sheltered. I was born and raised the youngest in a nuclear family (mom, dad, boy, girl, removed from extended families) housed in a series of beat-up RVs, apartments, and couch surfing. My family was famous for being exceptionally skilled in a mostly unimportant craftwork trade. I matured in a community with a lot of "hustler type" people, that constantly tried to motivate me with adages that really just made me end up uncomfortable; my faaavorite being "I bet you're gonna get all the girls when you grow up, little man!" I really never had any interest in having sex, but I always thought that was something between being too young, or being too woke to objectify women. Growing up I was always told "it's okay if you're gay! You can tell us!" and I never really thought much of it. I knew I liked girls, but I just didn't think sex was something to see as a goal. Fast forward to a little under 4 years ago. Definitely not due to totally irrelevant Political differences with my father (oh no, I voted for Bernie in the primaries instead of Hillary! Oh god, the horror!) I was finally kicked out on my own, and this is when I realized that I am a complete and total mess inside. I was over 18, and began my self-discovery years. Multiple things amplified in this time, such as my love for video games and computers, my fashion sense, and a strange obsession bordering on addiction to hentai. I didn't care what kind it was, nsfw artwork of any kind was what I lived for. I had no idea what made it so interesting to me. I had no interest in ordinary porn whatsoever, and honestly thought "real people porn" was disgusting, but my hentai folder was at least 60gb at some point. Eventually I realized that it doesn't really affect me sexually. I really like it, as art, but it's not like I got a boner every time I saw it. For some reason, I thought this was erectile dysfunction, which was a bummer, because I'm so young. It's not. I digress... In depressed social desperation, I made the single most questionable decision of my life: I was lonely, so I downloaded Tinder. I had quite literally no idea how else to meet people. Eventually, I met a wonderful girl that just moved to town, who I won't name. We hit it off instantly and, going way too fast, we were in an official relationship in about a week. We moved in together, had a lot of sex, and talked about life for three whole years while we figured ourselves out. During this time, I started to question my sexuality. Was I bi? I know I like guys, in theory, and I definitely like some guys, but not all of them. I identified as Bi, and life got better, but I couldn't find myself being attracted to any men enough to do anything about it. I knew I was queer in some way, but I couldn't figure it out. My girl continued to make friends, and as she made more queer friends I found myself trying on queer identities like a dressing room. Was I an egg? No, although being AFAB sounds nice, I like being a guy. Was I nonbinary? No, I definitely identify as male. Was I even Bi? Was I Pan? Was I a closet hetero?? It was disorienting. Eventually, she decided to have a talk about polyamory. I thought I would be into it, and I let her try it, but every time she flirted with anyone else, I felt like I was missing something. Like the relationship itself, with all of its features, was somehow far lesser now. I talked to her about it, and she said that she's the happiest she's ever been, so I let her figure herself out, and I just dealt with being uncomfortable for a while. Through this I really tried to, as she encouraged me again and again, find what I wanted in other people. I felt very uncomfortable talking about sex, and had no idea how to bring the topic of sex up with anyone, so that didn't really work... This April, a huge "thing" happened in my life, and I finally freed myself from my family, that business, the life I had, and she and I moved in to our own apartment, alone together, finally. (before, it was living with my sister, then with my family on an estate they now own) Immediately after, she discovered she's Aromantic! It's really great that she figured that out about herself, and I'm truly glad that she understands herself better, but this caused turmoil in our relationship. I had no idea what was missing, but she just wasn't giving me the things that I need, and I was giving her something she's uncomfortable with (and I didn't know what those were!) She had about 6 other partners by this point, and multiple of them were interested in me, and I was confused, had no idea what to do with my feelings, and it was a mess. I tried to seek comfort by attempting to "break out of my shell" with some of her partners, and I just felt very, very uncomfortable about all of it and I had no idea why. And then, one day, on a hunch, I decided to google "Demisexual", a term I heard once and had no idea what it meant. I realized it might be something close to figuring me out, but denied it. "I'm not asexual, I have sex! I like porn! I masturbate! I like people sexually. I have a friend who's asexual and I'm nothing like them. No way this is it." ahh, I could smell the closet. "I'm not uncomfortable with sex, it's just that all the people that want to fuck me aren't my type!" yeah, smells like tears and snot. I decided to go to AVEN anyway though, just to check it out. Maybe I am Demi? Can't hurt to check what the hell that even means, right? I did hours and hours of research, jumping from link to link on the forums and I had a couple long conversations with my two ace friends, and... Honestly? I'm the happiest I think I've ever been, ever. Understanding the five types of attraction helped me understand my emotions so, so much better, and looking back on my life it makes me so happy to finally understand why I've felt so uncomfortable with all those specific little things. The post about what doesn't affect your asexuality helped me come to terms with my identity, and the rule saying no one else can tell me if I'm Ace or if I'm not was frustrating at first, but when I finally realized the purpose, it helped me feel self-confidence in a way I never have before. All the loving support that this community has written and all of the resources that this place gives me is so wonderful and I love all of you! Thank you for providing me with a filter to see my world through that finally allows me to understand myself. I'm so proud I could cry. I finally feel free! To add; I know I'm Demisexual because... I don't think I feel sexual attraction at all. I really don't see what the big deal with sex is, full stop. I enjoy the physical pleasure that comes from it, but I have no desire for it. What's more important to me is romantic attraction, and through it, I can feel comfortable experiencing sensual attraction. I have a high libido, and find my friends attractive, but even when they offer, I don't want to fuck them. I feel uncomfortable with anyone around me talking about sex in a blunt way, and I don't enjoy being naked, being sexualized, or sexualizing others. I enjoy hentai so much because of its romantic and aesthetic emulations, but when I need it it is nice to have an avenue for my sexual side to not have to interact with other humans. The next step? What this truly means for me as a person, how it's going to change the relationships I have with my friends, and how to handle the "dating scene" as a Demi. I'm really looking forward to reading everything you all have told here and going through my own journey of discovery. Thanks for reading, it feels amazing to finally be able to tell my story. I'm gonna go have some cake! 😄
  22. CajunAce

    Make your own theme park!

    so giant coliseums to watch people fight to the death?
  23. A Cool Fool

    Schoolhouse Rock!

    Oh the Unpack Your Adjectives song was so calming, same with The Tale of Mr. Morton. I think I somehow ended up knowing grammar rock more than any of the others, but the original that @Yeast mentioned - multiplication rock - was also great for learning the times table when little. Think I'm gonna have to go through a bunch of these songs later today, I've missed seeing the videos, the older animation style was so pleasant to watch. 😄
  24. firewallflower

    Red, Green, Blue, RAINBOW GOATS!

    Blue two
  25. firewallflower

    Guess the word!

    Notebook
  26. I just remember how some of my “first kisses” with a person, kind of opened my eyes to the feelings I had or perhaps in my youth, feelings of togetherness that I really longed for. In other words, I would fear for “caving in” to a desire for not just mutually adult consensus sex, but also a desire to be sexually desired, and even on a regular basis. I could lose so much.
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