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  2. Charna

    HAVE YOU ALWAYS BEEN ASEXUAL ?

    Please elaborate, because I see no connection here. Someone's reproductive organs tell you exactly nothing about their sexual orientation.
  3. Iam9man

    Español

    Pues muchas gracias. Fui a una escuela española así que supongo que es casi una segunda lengua materna. Viví en la provincia de Alicante, pero llevo 20 años en Inglaterra así que se me está olvidando el español un poco. Me gusta Alemania. Tengo amigos en Hamburgo y he trabajado mucho con compañías del sur. Pues hablas muy bien para alguien que nunca haya estado en España. ¿Has visitado Latinoamérica?
  4. Hi there! There's a question to those of you who wish to have a partner inspired by another topic I just read I think my partner had to be ace as well. That would remove a lot of stress from the relationship, as I don't have particularly high libido, and I'm monogamous as well. I'm panromantic, so the gender of my partner doesn't matter. More important would be that we had some shared interests and about the same values in life. And I might want to have kids, but most probably never biological ones. My partner should be cool with that. Cool if they came with some kids ;D
  5. I am not guy but will still answer. For all PWPs What does it feel like to have a dangly bit in between? Usually it's just there and can get annoying sometimes Do you ever squash it when walking or sitting down? No How do you put on pants? Do pants hurt? Is the penis why sagging is a thing? Place the penis between the legs and pull the pants up How do you go to the bathroom? Open the door and go inside 😉. I usually sit down then. How do you shower? Wash myself with soap except for the part under the foreskin which gets sore by soap. There I use clear water How does it feel to not have boobs? Like something is missing Does the lack of purpose in regards to your nipples confuse you as well? They can give pleasure so there is a purpose What do you do if you get an erection at an inconvenient time? Try to ignore it and wait till it's over Does it hurt to run? No. If it hurts, it's my knees How do you ride a bike? Sitting on the saddle with my ass. Can you break it? Can happen. Luckily never to me. Should hurt like hell. For uncircumcised PWPs How do you clean the part under the foreskin? Clear water Does it hurt to pull the skin back? When it hurts something is wrong, like an infection. Is it stretchy? Yes How do you put on a condom? Squeeze the reservoir part and roll it down What happens to the foreskin when you get an erection? The tip of the glans is pushed out of it For asexual PWPs Can you still get an erection? Yes and it is uncomfortable especially when I am with a partner Do you still have wet dreams? What causes them? Not anymore How do you feel/view your penis? It's there . Often I don't care. However when being with a partner it is just in the way and if the partner wants to touch it it makes me really uncomfortable. What happens if you see your romantic but not sexual partner naked? I see a naked person. Feeling that they trust me. How is an orgasm different for you? I don't know. I only know how my orgasms feel and they are usually not from stimulating the penis For female PWPs I'll answer here too also I am more non binary than female How does it work? As I am not on HRT, probably not to much different then for cis men, except for the dysphoria I have around it. How do you view your penis? A piece of my body that has no real sexual function for me and sex would be much easier without getting erections. It's mostly just there and can get uncomfortable especially when it gets more sexual. How do you wear skirts? Like everyone else. Depending on how I feel. I put the penis in underpants like when wearing trousers or tucking it away with a gaffe when I am wearing a short skirt or feeling otherwise that the penis would be to visible or I just feel better when it is smooth down there
  6. Podsnap

    A Sentence Forming Game

    Annie needs you to help Iggy navigate Glasgow.
  7. Not a good idea imo, or at least it should be very much preferred by the one with high libido. Also, isn't libido your sex drive? Asexual person can have high libido as well, it's just not focused on anyone. I personally think I need to find an ace partner. I'm monogamous, and I don't have particularly high libido. I think it would be unfair to market myself to allosexuals, especially ones with high(er than mine) libido. I wouldn't even try, for the sake of both of us. I'm rather alone than with someone who isn't fully happy with me.
  8. ☆゚°˖* ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

    How come?

    It's even harder to explain to people how one can be ace and also gay/bi/pan etc. because of split attraction.
  9. MrDane

    Relating with sexuals

    “Do you want cake?” Usually means: “do you want to taste and eat cake?” if someone just wants to show you a picture of a cake, then it would be nice to know, before your mouth starts watering. I think, that some asexuals forget, that they are a minority and that it could be a good idea to become aware of what is going on amongst the majority. It is still perfectly okay to he asexual, but also to expect things to be normal.
  10. naakka

    #AsexualProblems

    Exactly. My motivation to reply for people like this is the chance that some bystander will read our conversation and learn something. And it's my hobby to trick bad-mouthed trolls into civilisized and argumented conversations without them even realizing it lol xD
  11. Nowhere Girl

    If I have no libido, can I really know I’m asexual?

    Still, there is a difference between someone's libido dropping and it having never been there in the first place. In this case I agree with @Philip027 - if someone has really no libido whatsoever, it would make them asexual by default. Sure, there is place for considering details, such as differentiating between low libido and no libido, or - assuming it already exists - between a more typical "sexual" libido and an "asexual" libido which still doesn't translate into any desire for partnered sex. But libido is the most basic level of sexuality. As we can see on the example of libidoist asexuals, attraction and desire don't have to grow out of it. But if there is no libido, there is also no basis for arousal, attraction and desire, neither of them should be able to develop. Given how libido doesn't have to lead to desire, but desire or even arousal won't develop in the absence of libido - it's probably not a good idea for someone with zero libido to have sex. It will most likely be uncomfortable for such a person. For men some forms of sex may turn out to be quite impossible if there's no arousal to begin with, but also for women sex without arousal is likely to be physically unpleasant. As far as I know, viagra only works on the "plumbing", not on libido. (Which is also, by the way, why drugs like flibanserin, which are genuinely risky and can only contribute to pathologisation of asexuality, shouldn't be called "female viagra" because they have an entirely different mode of action.)
  12. Today
  13. Iam9man

    How come?

    Yes, definitely. I’ve settled on a fairly logical detailed explanation OR a one-liner to describe asexuality, depending on the person. I use the first option for people who genuinely seem to take an interest and the second option for anyone else. I also have a third option which is to not explain it, reserved for idiots at the pub. I wrote this to try to explain asexuality logically. You’re welcome to use it if you find any of it helpful:
  14. naakka

    #AsexualProblems

    Oh cool you've started medical transitioning! I think I misinterpret your state on the firs comment, you've probably talked more about gender with professionals than I did lol. I'm happy everything worked out for you. As said, my gender is also on the male side (I don't experience any connection to female), but closer to agender than yours probably. I've considered medical transitioning, but my dysphoria (I don't have diagnosis) isn't that intense and coherent I'd be confident enough to start (here only binary people can have medical transitioning). Hormones, even low dose, would make me transition too pervasive way eventually, so I'd probably feel dysphoria with or without. Mastectomy is something I've been thinking of though. Anyhow, this is going really badly off-topic now lol. Lets contimue by pm... if there was still something you wanted to say
  15. Sally

    Sharing the knowledge

    Just google Plans to Build Toolbox and you will find that there are many on-line.
  16. sh1965

    Older married asexuals?

    @AmIAce, you’re welcome. I think if we’d talked about sex, or our lack of sex during our marriage, I may have told her but given it’s not something we’ve spoken about, not telling her seemed for the best. In many ways I think we’re happier and closer now than ever before and I’m not going to mess with that. Maybe it’s a gender thing. At the risk of stereotyping, men tend to keep things to themselves whereas women like to talk about things. Ultimately I think it depends on the dynamic and how your spouse is likely to react but I guess that’s not that easy to predict. I know of at least two female aces on here who when they told their husband they were ace it didn’t go so well... I assume you’re internally debating whether to tell your husband or not...
  17. Kahlan

    Hi, I guess

    Hello Sam, thanks for taking the time to write this and you are very much welcome here! 🍰 @Bookworm1226
  18. Bloc

    Trans Moments?

    Totally. I don't even want to shift into every form. Just between a male and female body and the stages in between.
  19. daveb

    How a boy I barely knew gave me hope again.

    OK, I will do that for you.
  20. Sexual Ally

    Sharing the knowledge

    I love the idea. Whether it would be economically viable, I've not a clue. I guess I'd ask 1) is there currently a market for downloadable plans in general at this time? Or have free/paid tutorial sites such as YouTube/SkillShare saturated this market? 2) Assuming one owns the necessary tools and knows how to operate them, would the materials for this item make your download more cost-effective than purchasing the same item pre-made? (This in no way precludes the fact that builders and tradespeople will always exist and want to ply their craft, for self-satisfaction, efficiency and quality. But if materials + download = less $ than quality pre-made, that could help make an educated decision as to the viability of yr pdf on the market).
  21. iyote

    What's The Stupidest Thing You've Ever Believed?

    I used to think that everyone had to get married at some point. It freaked me out.
  22. ☆゚°˖* ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

    Friend not getting it whatsoever

    Well after reading the comments I had to take the dang test. 13. LMAO
  23. I'm happy with my partner and feeling ok with skipping sex but that's only because I know I'm allowed to look elsewhere (even though I'm not bothering). It made a big difference to learn that he simply never had any intrinsic desire, he did it to make me happy. I used to feel inadequate. He's very kind about my experience of sexuality, but I'm like, eh, charity sex isn't that fulfilling. Celibacy seems nice for now. If someone I'm attracted to expressed interest in me, well... I might switch gears, haha. Maybe I'll try dating if I have time, but not anytime soon. So you can't be ace. But maybe you can feel chill about celibacy? Did you think your partner is ace? Have you talked about asexuality with her? You know it's not a transient thing, right? Sexuals have ups and downs, after all. Devastating to learn it's not a phase, that it was and always will be this way -- but better to know, I found.
  24. AwkwardSquid

    Star Wars Trailer

    I honestly came here cause I wanted to see if it was about the movie or game trailer XD the trailer was sorta boring for me so I am not even bothered to think what might or might no happen cause I feel like we just got random stuff without a bit of a idea of what might be happening except fights and well more fights.
  25. Scout the Supreme Overlord

    Scout the Supreme Overlord

    Hey AVENites... long time no see. I wonder if any of my old friends are still on here?

    1. kelico

      kelico

      I remember you!

    2. Scout the Supreme Overlord

      Scout the Supreme Overlord

      @kelico omg hi!

  26. Anthony Bogaert, a prominent researcher on asexuality, has said that a lack of a sex drive - or "an enduring lack of desire for all forms of sexual activities" - is a more stringent definition of asexuality than lack of sexual attraction. Lots of asexuals have a sex drive - it just isn't directed toward partnered sexual activities. And increasing someone's sex drive doesn't change their orientation. In the past, people tried to change homosexuals' sexual orientation by giving them drugs like Viagra, but it didn't work. All it did was lead them to want to engage in more homosexual activities. If an asexual takes Viagra, it might give them a sex drive and want to masturbate, but it isn't going to make them want partnered sex. Now, libido can fluctuate for all sorts of reasons, and people can go through periods of little to no sex drive for one reason or another (depression, abuse, medications, lack of an appropriate partner, etc.). But when someone has never had a libido and this last for years beyond adolescence, I think it's safe to say the person is asexual.
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