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  2. .... you know there are threads that specifically talk about this stuff, right? And that you can start your own if you're really curious? You just seem really fixated on this point and I don't know if discussing it in this thread is really useful.
  3. Therapists have probably seen so many cases where someone had no interest in sex due to traumas and illnesses that it's hard for them to not consider the possibility if they don't already know for sure that it isn't the case. That being said, you can just say, "no, I don't think that's right. Move on to another subject. " And that's that, you're moving on to another subject. If the therapist actually is insane enough to say "NO WE WILL NOT MOVE ON" then run, run like hell. LIterally stand up and walk quietly out the door, you don't even need to explain. There are plenty of therapists out there to choose from, no need to stick around with that crap. I've done the "nah, that's not right, we're moving on" quite a few times with therapists myself. Just be firm and very clear. But if the therapist is freudian, best move to another therapist. Freudian is almost completely abandoned and is considered out of date and sexist, in favor of much better ideas of which there have been so many since then. He's famous because he was the first, and that's about it. It'll be very hard to make a Freudian therapist talk about something other than sex, simply because they think it's the end all be all. It's a very bad mix for an asexual. They're the dinosaurs of the therapy world, in the words of one of my past therapists. And honestly, I think Freudian therapist are probably incredibly messed up themselves, and have a really, really whacko relationship with their parents, to actually be taking Freud seriously.
  4. isabelle123

    I did hurt my boyfriend's ego

    I really don't get why he act like that. For me, he just try to make me do his things (clean the car and put out the garbages) while I do vacuum, mop, cleaning dust on furniture, cleaning the 2 bathroom with the toilets, cleaning the kitchen, cook, buy food online, washing dishes, do the laundry, do the papers work... for both of us... I find his attitude really bad and unfair so if I can win again and make him realize all I do daily for him I won't hesitate at all. Be sure I give my 100%
  5. Katarina Gertje

    How not to answer a newbie

    Impossible. Pun making is coded into our DNA during our development in the lab. Can I read romance books is I'm aro?
  6. Skycaptain

    Red, Green, Blue, RAINBOW GOATS!

    Green 1
  7. HikaruBG

    Media Misrepresentation of Asexuality

    I suppose that the reason why that is, is because they are unable to internalise the idea of it all... is because "internalising" Asexuality means letting go of something that is an essential part of who they are, so to speak. It's kind of ironic how people go around and say "being straight/gay/bi/ect. isn't a personality trait" and "there is more to people than their sexuality" but then, when they encounter Asexuality as a concept, they suddenly are unable to separate their own very being from their sexuality. Asexuals have have the same issue but in reverse - in order to internalise the idea of being staight/gay/bi/ect., they need to add something to their very being (without really knowing what that is because most of the time it's explained veeeeery vaguely and with crude language that does not convey emotion at all). I know this is how it felt for me when I read those definition debates. They helped me with having a better understanding of how the majority of people feel like but ultimately, I have my own opinions, views and skepticism about them.
  8. Alejandrogynous

    I did hurt my boyfriend's ego

    So his mood improved after you agreed to a rematch? If so, it sounds like it was the judo that upset him even if he insists it isn't, and if that's the case, I hope you don't go easy on him. It's unfair and manipulative of him to insist you give him another chance to win and then make it so the outcome is either you win again and his mood stays bad or you lose and have to do his chores. He's setting you up to lose either way. Of course that's all IF it's really why he was upset, I obviously can't really know. From your description though, it sounds pretty shitty.
  9. Skycaptain

    anyone past 50 on here?

    Civilisation has taken a major step forward. The coffee shop has reopened - cashless and takeaway only, but it's still coffee!! 😋😋🎉 🎉
  10. Lifesaver

    Red, Green, Blue, RAINBOW GOATS!

  11. GeniusWithWings

    hi! im new here :))

    Welcome to AVEN! 🎂🍰 I hope you find this community helpful and informative. I know I have.
  12. GeniusWithWings

    Hi! I'm New!

    Welcome to AVEN! 🍰🎂 Sailor moon was one of my favourites to watch when I was younger. Also your profile picture is really cool.
  13. I’m nearing the end of a psychology degree, so I’m still learning but here’s my take. It sounds like she’s a Freudian and trying to take a psychoanalytical approach (big words but bear with me). So those people believe that inner psychological conflict causes physical symptoms. I.e heart disease can be caused by a broken heart or what you said down below So being Freudian she would believe that most things are to do with sexual desire (I’m not an expert but I don’t think the theory leaves room for Asexuality). And another thing they beleive is that people repress their desires into their unconscious minds because of various reasons (such as trauma). Only when the person becomes defensive, frustrated and denies things is when the therapist can know they’ve touched on something repressed. So to her the more frustrated you get and deny your allo sexuality, the more it may seem you’ve repressed it. Personally I think Freudian theory is mostly BS. And it’s really quite unscientific. So I would suggest asking her if this is her approach, and then maybe asking her to lay off those ideas of find a therapist who uses more modern scientific approaches. p.s I’m still learning so I may have got some stuff about the theory wrong. OR maybe the therapist is not taking this approach which is completely likely
  14. OptimisticPessimist

    Podcast for work - ideas welcome

    What Asexuality is and isn’t, and the difference between Asexuality and Aromanticism would be good too as well as QPR’s. What Ace people deal with.
  15. Today
  16. We don't even have the starting point - that's the problem. You keep saying it's "difficult to define", which still implies it's possible to do so. Do you actually mean it's impossible to define? What is the element of the friendship that would necessarily prompt someone to ask to define the relationship differently? What are the attribute(s) of QPR that are not comfortably accommodated within friendship? For romantic relationship that's easy: romantic feelings - i.e. deeply loving someone - and wanting to build a long-term partnership that facilitates said love.
  17. isabelle123

    I did hurt my boyfriend's ego

    Hi, Thx for your answers. Yersterday as the Last days he was saying nothing liké he was sad for no reason so I asked him again to tell me what happen and if it’s Cause of judo and apologize for the teasing... Hé answer no, everything is good. And even for judo He wants à rematch He was not in good Shape the last time bla bla bla… I said no it goes to far anyway who care who win? He insist and even propose à bet the looser do the housework part of other until summer end. I was a bit mad I confess he tried to make me do his part because I do almost all the chores alone since the beggining of our relationship… Because I dont want to stay in that glacial atmosphère I finally said yes… And we had à normal rest of day… And so we’ll do our “rematch” today
  18. MichaelTannock

    hi! im new here :))

    @thisiscams Welcome to AVEN! Don't be afraid to be different is something I wish I'd been told. Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, and here's a "Todd" cake (all edible), https://www.reddit.com/r/BoJackHorseman/comments/es6ykt/hooray_a_todd_cake/
  19. Alejandrogynous

    Favorite Types of Books

    Yeah, usually "chapter books" refers to intermediate level children's books, so this took me a moment to understand too.
  20. N8LV3y

    Do you brush your teeth twice daily?

    Yep yep and pick them if I eat lunch since I have braces. Which should have been taken off by now but my dentist is closed do to all this.
  21. MichaelTannock

    Hi! I'm New!

    @PinkMoon Welcome to AVEN! It is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, and here's a "King Charles Ist bust" cake (all edible), https://cakesdecor.com/cakes/341304-king-charles-ist-bust-the-royal-challenge
  22. I'm playing AVEN's advocate here but the reason the therapist is discussing this with you is because they do feel it's relevant to your issues and well, they are the trained professional after all. It's not really our place to comment or judge your therapist but maybe it's hard for you because it's supposed to be?
  23. Kimchi Peanut


    1. One 2. Yes, I’m married
  24. Kimchi Peanut


    I don’t have any hobbies 😢
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