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  2. Sally

    Wanting sex as a asexual

    Why? What is confusing about it?
  3. Dreamsexual

    Wanting sex as a asexual

    Don't go there ... . That definition confused me for ages ...
  4. InDefenseOfPOMO

    Biology, culture, and sexuality

    And where I have lived my entire life, the United States of America, we oversimplify it. It is probably the same throughout all of contemporary Western civilization. Human sexuality is now overwhelmingly "having sex", and "having sex" is overwhelmingly about the personal fulfillment of individuals and in the name of liberation the defiance of long-established norms. I grimace whenever I hear people say "have sex", "had sex", "having sex", etc. It reduces human sexuality to marginal, isolated episodes of a package of a sequence of acts. What acts are included in that package varies with cultural environment, yet we insist that it is entirely biological. It never occurs to us, as far as I can tell, that human sexuality could be a seamless, continuous biological and cultural phenomenon and that when we break it up into "having sex" we are doing nothing more than acting out our own particular culture. To say that when we break it up into "having sex" we are representing objective reality and that the best tool ever for knowledge of reality, science, supports us may be some of the most extreme ethnocentrism that can be found. If we were to step back and consider the possibility that human sexuality is far more than "having sex" according to instructions from our genes, what would be doing? We would be looking at it more holistically. In previous posts I tried to suggest that we are deluding ourselves when we say that things like the Sexual Revolution have liberated us and made our relationships more fulfilling. A more holistic approach to relationships would result in people having better relationships in numbers and in quality than ever before, I tried to suggest. None of the responses have been very convincing otherwise. Speaking subjectively for my own self, true liberation would mean never again having to worry about "having sex".
  5. Bloc

    a gender positive thread

    I am not sure if I should take hormones. But I can totally relate to this. I've a strong feeling that I would present much more butch if I would be taking hormones for a while as I would not have to compensate for a body which is too masculine. Your description of your outfit sounds like you are rocking a great outfit.
  6. They'll be a flag for that tomorrow.
  7. Celyn


    I can't either but l still drink black tea like it's water then pretend my anxiety has nothing to do with it 🤷‍♂️
  8. CustardCream

    Red, Green, Blue, RAINBOW GOATS!

    Blue 1
  9. Celyn

    Everybody's favorite genre?

    Yet another fantasy fan! 2nd - detective/spy novels 3rd - popular (including not so popular) science books about biology and psychology
  10. Dreamsexual

    Definitions - my conclusions

    I tried to avoid an unqualified 'asexual' simply to try and avoid confusion between types of asexuals, but as I noted in the OP both complete and effective asexuals should be able to use the abbreviated term 'asexual' for ease of use with 'outsiders'. For internal community use I thought the distinction between complete and effective asexuals was important. But so as to be able to justify both these groups using a simple 'asexual designator with outsiders I needed an overarching category that included both, separated both from 'typical' (allo)sexuals, and yet reflected that effective asexuals were in fact technically sexuals not asexuals.
  11. ColeHW

    Where to move to?

    Seconded this. Maybe the carribean near a volcano or mountain so the wind keeps mosquitoes away.
  12. ColeHW

    Everybody's favorite genre?

    Nonfiction but mainly about memoirs like Waiter’s rant or Tuesdays with morrie or about pathogens and science. But I have picked up on non superhero and slice of life visual novels
  13. Feys&Florets

    How do I know for sure?

    We can't give you a straight answer, but we can help you down the path of discovering the answer yourself. Either way, welcome to Aven! It's tradition we welcome people with cake:
  14. AspieAlly613

    Dating and Friends

    It depends on whom you ask. I distinguish between them by saying that a romantic partner is someone you share your life with. Other people feel differently. One important consideration is to make sure you and your partner have compatible visions of what you each want from the romance.
  15. I'm just very confused on the whole dating thing. I've had relationships in the past but always ended them cause I realised I didn't feel the same way my partners did. What's the difference between SO and a close friend?
  16. RoseGoesToYale

    Let's Break The Rules!

    Ug naswe! Ye ca frongauta kolast i tyergun potudyr potudom potudom potudom potudom, ghu'la... (Translation: No way! It is against the rules to put a spoiler in a spoiler in a spoiler in a spoiler in a spoiler, etc...)
  17. If I was a woman, non-white person and/or non-Westerner, I would be extremely offended by that statement. Anthropogenic climate change is the creation of white, Western men who have subjugated and exploited for the slave labor or cheap wage labor that made it possible children, women, non-Westerners and non-whites. Some people, such as the Native Americans, have not had the chance to be subjugated and exploited in great numbers--they were almost all killed to clear the way for all of the settlements, railroads, factories highways, airports, shopping malls, etc. that have contributed to anthropogenic climate change. Furthermore, surpluses of non-whites are being exploited in another way: mass incarceration of African-Americans has become a profitable business. Yet, you say that all of those people are the problem and must be eradicated. Only a small percentage of humans in a relatively small window of recent human history have organized and carried out the activities that have caused anthropogenic climate change. The overwhelming majority of humans died before anthropogenic climate change and did not contribute to it. The overwhelming majority of humans who have lived in the time that anthropogenic climate change has been caused have been oppressed and have only suffered from the process. Yet you say that all humans past and present are the cause of the problem and all of them must go. I do not think that racism, sexism and imperialism get any worse than your words.
  18. Toothlesss


    So there's a HTTYD3 related meme going around about relationships and as usual- I don't get it because the line referenced is my whole view on serious relationships in a nutshell.

    1. Toothlesss


      Ironic because the namesake for my username..TLDR the events of the third film, but ehhh...

      How do alloromantics make sense of their relationships without it falling into abusive territory? 

    2. Toothlesss


      Also I've always loved how healthy Hiccup and Astrid's relationship was written throughout the franchise. Still don't understand romantic relationships one bit and since modern culture is seemingly more complex than Berk's.

      Yeah.. I should go change my location on my profile to the hidden world because I love to hide from the real world, even moreso when we get heat waves, dealing with irl people.. OOF.

    3. ShyFeather


      Oof, that is a hard question. I would say that recognizing the signs of abuse early in the relationship helps people abandon ship before abuse starts. But even allos aren't always that great at picking up on the signs.

  19. Today
  20. As someone who was an undeclared major for a long time (for too long) and spent many hours reading the course catalogue front to back many times, I can assure that all of those topics were covered in undergraduate course offerings. I use "Neoclassical economics" to refer to all thought that is utilized by professionals called "economists" and that is really just concerned with capitalism. It seems to me that even if an "economist" investigates the behavior of traditional/indigenous peoples past and present he/she does it through a Western, capitalist worldview. The point is that other perspectives through which production, distribution, consumption, etc. can be viewed--such as cultural anthropology--are more holistic. It seems clear to me that all of these cheap, mass-produced goods and services that capitalism has given us have not made us happy. We have an unprecedented number of choices available to us as consumers, we are told. But those choices have left us with absurd rates of obesity. Some observers are seeing that we have a loneliness epidemic. Could it be partly (or greatly) due to the fact that we spend so much of our time shopping for, purchasing and using that unprecedented number of different products and services rather than spending time with our friends, loved ones and members of our communities? The products that we end up purchasing from all of those available choices often end up collecting dust after very little use or buried in a landfill not long after they are purchased. We can't be happy with anything we buy--that is not how it works. As soon as we purchase something we are told through advertisements that what we have is not good and that only the newest product will make us happy. I could probably write an entire book about how all of these cheap, mass-produced goods and services that capitalism has delivered have compromised our happiness and well-being. Then there is work. Under capitalism production has moved from the home to factories, offices, factory farms (opposed to family farms), etc. Work has become increasingly monotonous. Workers have increasingly had to train for and perform narrow specialties. The home has become nothing more than a place for entertainment and recreation. Wendell Berry, Christopher Lasch and others have commented on this better than I can. Not only would earlier economic organization likely significantly reduce emissions, it would likely make us much happier and more fulfilled as economic actors. The difference between buying building materials from a local supplier rather than a national chain and making your own furniture in your home with your own tools rather than buying mass-produced furniture from a chain mega-retailer would probably be like night and day with respect to happiness and fulfillment. And that furniture would probably be taken much better care of, valued much more, and be exponentially less likely to end up collecting dust from lack of use, sitting in a dark self-storage unit, or rotting in a landfill. A return to earlier forms of economic organization might result in the numbers that economists measure being worse. But the things that economists cannot or do not measure, such as how fulfilled we are as unique individual human beings, would likely improve. Basically, we would have to learn again how to be happy and fulfilled without destroying the biosphere. And it would probably be easy. That is, it would be easy if the elites and those with extremely disproportionate amounts of wealth and power would allow it. Wait, most of us now live in cities and sprawling suburbs covered with asphalt and concrete! How would we feed ourselves if we stop consuming mass-produced food?! Uh, all of those parking spaces behind big box stores that never get used other than on Black Friday--how about the owners work with engineers and see if there is a way to cover that space without interfering with storm drainage and causing flooding? If there is a way, how about dividing that space into units and renting those units to households who could put greenhouses on them and grow their own vegetables? See how easy that was? I do not see a transition to earlier, lower-emissions forms of economic organization being difficult or painful. On the contrary, the creativity, imagination and entrepreneurship that would make it happen would likely be fun.
  21. UkeNut

    How do I know for sure?

    Wish I had an easy answer for you. It takes time to figure out who you are and what you want in life and it can be kind of a moving target. I'm 42 and still sorting it out in some ways. I think that most people struggle to sort out who they are and how they fit in society. So you're definitely not alone in that regard!
  22. Mezzaluna

    Let's Break The Rules!

    How dare you make punctuation illegal!!! I have to have a period after every sentence, otherwise everything I type will become one huge mess. How will I be able to express myself here if I can't use marks, such as exclamation points, periods, commas, etc.? Speaking in your own made-up language is now forbidden.
  23. NordicNoir

    Word association game

  24. Sally

    Wanting sex as a asexual

    I don't understand how someone can be confused by this definition: "Asexuality means not wanting to have sex with any other person."
  25. Mezzo Forte


    I love all kinds of teas, but because of my hypersensitivity to caffeine, I can only regularly drink teas that are 100% caffeine-free, so I generally stick to herbals. It stinks because I love green teas as well as black teas (especially amber teas like Assam), but I cannot drink them without becoming an anxious mess. (You could probably imagine that coffee is a joy too because of that. ) My go-to teas tend to be mint teas, but I also enjoy plenty of fruit teas (especially peach), chamomile teas, and rooibos teas as well.
  26. Compare myself, slightly. I actually find the female body way more beautiful to look at than the male (funnily enough, I also find the thought of lesbian sex less icky, even though I'm not sex-repulsed. Not anymore than the rest of our physiology is icky), but as a straight demisexual, it's just an aesthetic thing (much like with men, clothed or naked, really). Women are just more beautiful.
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