ithaca Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 This thread is an idea I had for myself and those people who aren't really sure where they fit on the a/romantic spectrum yet. I personally feel like identifying as aromantic 99,999999% of the time, but sometimes I have doubts. So since feelings can change sometimes (aro or not, cuddly or "don't touch me!" days) and leave us questioning, I thought of making an experiment. 1) Let's see if there's more people like me who's orientation seem not static 2) Let's try writing down these thoughts and sharing how we feel For example, today I feel definitely aromantic (no relationships and romance ever) but I also feel cuddly. Link to post Share on other sites
Blunderbuss Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 I feel clueless. YAY I'm awesome. Link to post Share on other sites
logic*cake Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 Today I feel aromantic and non-touchy. I haven't felt romantic or cuddly in a while. It's been at least a couple of months since I have, and it's lasted maybe a week or so, if that long. Link to post Share on other sites
DracoBorealis Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 Today I feel random and insane. That is all. Oh, what the hell... I guess I'm romantic. In a way. Link to post Share on other sites
Tanwen Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 Nearly always wanting cuddles (that's what my dogs are for :D ) and sometimes I think it might be nice to be in a relationship BUT not in my bed, I my bed more than anything else in the whole world (as I keep telling Rhiannon). My room is my sanctuary and the only place I get to be alone; guess I'm selfish but I don't want to share it with anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
BaronTheCat Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 I define as romantic, but most of the time I don't feel very romantic ^_^ Good topic btw; let's see how it turns out. Link to post Share on other sites
TheKindredSoul Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 This thread is an idea I had for myself and those people who aren't really sure where they fit on the a/romantic spectrum yet. I personally feel like identifying as aromantic 99,999999% of the time, but sometimes I have doubts. So since feelings can change sometimes (aro or not, cuddly or "don't touch me!" days) and leave us questioning, I thought of making an experiment. 1) Let's see if there's more people like me who's orientation seem not static 2) Let's try writing down these thoughts and sharing how we feel For example, today I feel definitely aromantic (no relationships and romance ever) but I also feel cuddly. I feel aromantic all the time, but I feel cuddly a lot. I am asocial most of the time and introverted (towards people), but I'd cuddle an animal. I don't really see anything romantic about affection honestly. I don't see anything as romantic at all. Edit: I do go through phases where I am not cuddly. Normally, that is when I go through OCD or in a horrible mood (touch me and you shall lose your soul)! Link to post Share on other sites
oldamongdreams Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 Currently in a 'touch me and I will stab you in the throat' mood. I feel like I see-saw between extremes: I either want to cling to people and be cuddled for hours and generally be a limpet, or I have a minor panic attack when someone so much as brushes my arms. I don't think I'm cut out for relationships. <_< Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 Aromantic and not at all cuddly. Link to post Share on other sites
PoeFreak Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 I'm not currently craving hugs, but I never say no to a shoulder lean. Link to post Share on other sites
5_♦♣ Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 Right now, I'm in my romance mode (even though I'm not crushing on anyone... IRL at the moment. So go figure). Link to post Share on other sites
Vampyremage Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 I identify as grey-romantic and I think that's partially because my desire for a romantic relationship does tend to change on me from time to time. When I'm single, I generally don't feel a particularly strong urge to be in a romantic relationship and sometimes feel downright aromantic. Of course, that does shift from time to time and there are those occasions when I feel the desire to be in a romantic relationship quite strongly. Now days, I'm in the early months of exploring poly, with two different partners, so suffice to say I'm feeling more strongly romantic at the moment than I often do. There's just something about being in a new relationship that always feels quite wonderful Link to post Share on other sites
seinneadair Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 I don't know. Probably aromantic today, but the completely aromantic days seems to be getting less frequent. I think what I really want is probably a queerplatonic relationship most of the time, but sometimes I think a romantic relationship would be perfect. I think if I had to call my romantic orientation something it would be "confused." Link to post Share on other sites
ithaca Posted August 11, 2012 Author Share Posted August 11, 2012 I don't know. Probably aromantic today, but the completely aromantic days seems to be getting less frequent. I think what I really want is probably a queerplatonic relationship most of the time, but sometimes I think a romantic relationship would be perfect. I think if I had to call my romantic orientation something it would be "confused." **hugs** I understand, and that's what this thread is for. To share confusion and try describing how these feelings change for us people who don't have a clear and consistant identity or romantic/aromantic orientation. Sometimes to me it changes in a few hours, sometimes I'm consistant for months. It seems freaking impossible to interact with someone when you would like a partner, because you are afraid that in 2 days or 2 weeks time you'd tell them to f**k off. And it makes no sense, because it could happen or not. Damn it. XD Link to post Share on other sites
Janus the Fox Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 Aromantic today, for about 95% of the time. Umm... I have had romantic fantasies about 3 times in 10 years, homo and heteroromantic if that counts but nothing that has been consistent or long term. Link to post Share on other sites
AceOfAwesome Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 Good thread, lets me do a bit of a rant, heh. I'm aromantic, and I feel that way all of the time. But the "degree" of my aromanticism changes a lot, if that makes sense. Some days I'll be "Being single is so much more awesome than being in a relationship!", and sometimes I'll be "I wonder what it's like to have a relationship..." Lately it's been more of the latter. While I definitely don't experience romantic attraction, I have been thinking about relationships a lot, especially partnered relationships. I'm not sure if I could ever go through with a romantic relationship, due not only to the fact that I'm aro but also due to my dislike of intimate touch. But I do like some aspects of them, the emotional closeness and being able to talk about how I feel and stuff (I can kinda do this with my friends, but they've never really shown an interest or care about it). By saying this, I know that a queerplatonic relationship seems like a good idea for me, but I dunno if I would actually be able to do that. I like the idea of it, but I don't know how comfortable I am with the whole "partner" thing. I love being by myself and the idea of having someone else there who has a big bearing on my life isn't the best. I also seem to have trouble actually letting anyone get emotionally close to me, I don't know why that is but it just is. Even the people I consider my good friends I keep at a distance. I think I really just want someone who I can talk to about anything and everything, and who I feel totally comfortable around. But as I said, for some reason I can't seem to allow people to do that. If someone gets too close I back away. Dammit, self. <_< Sorry if that made no sense. I wanted to vent a little and I guess my thoughts are a little muddled at the moment. Blarg. Link to post Share on other sites
Hexagon Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 If you were aromantic 99.999999% of the time, chances are pretty high you'd never experience a single day of romanic feelings in your life. As for me, I feel aromantic every day. Link to post Share on other sites
ithaca Posted August 12, 2012 Author Share Posted August 12, 2012 If you were aromantic 99.999999% of the time, chances are pretty high you'd never experience a single day of romanic feelings in your life. As for me, I feel aromantic every day. The 99,99999999% has been posted in a day i identify as "Definitely aromantic". Ask me a day i feel "maybe homoromantic" or "maybe demiromantic" and the percentage will be different :lol: As I said, this is a thread for confused and questioning people. It's not a "What's your orientation?" thread for those who know it already ;) Link to post Share on other sites
RandomGirlK Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 I am very romantic, and distracted by a bit of a romantic fantasy I have. Im also missing my crush and having withdrawal symptoms, as she cant afford internet at the moment and we cant talk as often on the phone. Im usually a very romantic person, except for at certain times of the month, when I dont want ANYONE near me at all, and its actually making me not even want to move in with someone if I ever get in a serious relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
5_♦♣ Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 Apparently, I was in denial when I wrote my previous reply. Well, somewhat. That is, I have a bit of a crush on someone here. Link to post Share on other sites
seinneadair Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 I don't know. Probably aromantic today, but the completely aromantic days seems to be getting less frequent. I think what I really want is probably a queerplatonic relationship most of the time, but sometimes I think a romantic relationship would be perfect. I think if I had to call my romantic orientation something it would be "confused." **hugs** I understand, and that's what this thread is for. To share confusion and try describing how these feelings change for us people who don't have a clear and consistant identity or romantic/aromantic orientation. Sometimes to me it changes in a few hours, sometimes I'm consistant for months. It seems freaking impossible to interact with someone when you would like a partner, because you are afraid that in 2 days or 2 weeks time you'd tell them to f**k off. And it makes no sense, because it could happen or not. Damn it. XD *hugs back* I'm so glad I'm not the only one. I definitely worry about starting a relationship because I think "I might not feel this way in a few days." Link to post Share on other sites
Oswald Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 I'm aromantic all day, every day. :D Link to post Share on other sites
caemin Posted August 17, 2012 Share Posted August 17, 2012 This is my problem. I've never really wanted a relationship and never had a romantic attachment toward someone. But, I want to hold on to the idea that in the future I might and it's not beyond me to imagine myself in a romantic relationship. Pretty sure I'd be sapioromantic though XD Link to post Share on other sites
MiserableGuest Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 I'm feeling as aromantic as ever. There are times when I fantasize about being homoromantic but not today. Probably because it takes some effort for me to even begin to imagine myself being romantic: How would I behave, what does being in love feel like, what am I supposed to be feeling, so he's gay huh?, how did this happen, where are we headed as a couple, sex?, how did I ever become romantic, etc...All are questions which have to be answered before I start fantasizing and I usually can't get past the first one. Link to post Share on other sites
FrozenCherry Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 I am romantic as every day. Link to post Share on other sites
ithaca Posted August 20, 2012 Author Share Posted August 20, 2012 Today I'm feeling romantic-averse, to the point I'm finding it hard to read my own forum Link to post Share on other sites
PoeFreak Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 I feel 100% aro. Link to post Share on other sites
snufflebottoms Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 About a 6 today. Link to post Share on other sites
Robotic Emu Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Today, I feel aromantic but very squishy. My squish and bestest aven buddy is away at summer camp and I want to hang out with him so much! I have been feeling mostly aromantic since I graduated from high school in June. My romanticness/aromanticness is dependent on the particular person I am attracted to and the form that the attraction takes. When I don't have a particular interest in somebody, I am either all aromantic or hopelessly wishing I had a queerplatonic parter and/or more single friends. I think I could be happy in a romantic relationship with a romantic crush but don't want romance right now. Link to post Share on other sites
byanyotherusername Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Today I feel aromantic, but yesterday and for the past few weeks I felt more romantic than I had in years... I had a close friend for years who liked me romantically at one point, before I had ever heard of aromantics and didn't know that I was one. I was flattered/happy/confused. Most of the time I thought I just wanted us to be friends, but sometimes I would daydream about the two of us dating, which I think only happened because the idea of us being a couple was planted in my head by his affections for me. I liked him as a person, and was touched that he felt that way about me. I liked the idea of entering a romantic relationship with him, to the point that I fantasized about it, but still had no desire for the reality, if that makes sense... We grew apart, but recently he's been on my mind a lot, and a lot of the old feelings resurfaced. I wonder if I'll ever daydream about someone like that again, now that I know I'm aromantic and don't expect to enter into a relationship... I miss that feeling of hope and possibility, sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
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